 So this morning I went to the gym and I'm working out. I'm like, you know what? I'm out of my anti-anxiety medications. So as I'm getting my cardio on, I call up the pharmacy and I'm like, yo, I need a refill. So they said it'll be done right after I'm done with the gym. And I'm like, cool. So I'd go over to the pharmacy right after the gym and I get there. And they said, hey, you're all out of refills and we've faxed your doctor, but they didn't reply to us. And I'm like, oh crap, they're not open on Fridays. So now what am I going to do? What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And in case you missed my announcement video yesterday, please, please, please come follow me on Twitch. Like just real quick today, I was streaming some Fortnite with a friend and one of you, Marin, came in and you were watching, but we had this like one-on-one conversation that she was talking to me about some of her depressions and anxieties and problems sleeping and ruminating and like we had an amazing conversation. And like we had that one-on-one time and like that's why I want you guys to follow me on Twitch, especially right now when the Twitch stream is small. Like you'll get some one-on-one time with me and we can have a conversation and I can try to walk you through some issues. So head on over to the Twitch stream. It's just twitch.tv slash the Rewired Soul. I'll have links down in the description, but I also just love spending time with all of you. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to start editing my videos with my stream on. So I'll just sit there and edit my video since I'm at my computer and you guys can hop in the live stream and we could talk, we could chat, or if you just want to see how I edit my YouTube videos and make my thumbnails and stuff. But either way, like just come follow me on Twitch. Like there's a lot of cool stuff happening. But anyways, so let's get back to the story. No anxiety medications. And I wanted to talk about this. Like I just, I try to make videos like when I'm going through something, like maybe I can explain to what's going on and how I deal with it. Like I just have so many tools, you know, again, on my Twitch stream today, like I was talking, my friend was like, so what are you going to do about with now having your anxiety medication? So the first thing is once I heard that, that's when my anxiety wants to come up, right? Like just hearing that I won't have my medication. And this happens to a lot of us when we become reliant on medications to help us with our anxiety or depression, especially anxiety, when we find out that we're not going to have it, that can make us want to get anxious. So I'm going to be talking a lot about how mindfulness meditation helps me. So what happened was I noticed the anxiety, like as I'm talking to the pharmacist, like I noticed my anxiety starting to come up. And I'm just like, I have to remind myself in that moment, like, okay, I'm not anxious. Now, it's going to be okay. You know what I mean? And I have to logically talk to myself and remind myself of the truths of the situation. And one of those truths is because I don't, I won't have health insurance after this month, I've been actually taking half my dosage. So I haven't been taking as much as needed. But one of the things that worried me or still worries me that is kind of stressing me out is the last two evenings, I've gotten kind of anxious. All right. And then I went back actually, I think last night, I took the other half of my medication because I felt it coming. And for those of you who haven't been around for a while, I've been diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder. And what that means is there's a lot of time where my anxiety will come without being triggered by anything. I just notice it happening. You know what I mean? So that's something that kind of worries me. But anyways, a conversation I was having on my Twitch stream again today was something that helps me with my anxiety. It's just departmentalizing the different things that I can and can't control. Okay. So I definitely know what I can't control is my doctor not being open today. Okay, they are not in the office on Friday. So I just need to get that out of my mind. I've already tried in the past, like a long time ago before I started meditating and all that stuff. I'm like, I tried and I couldn't do anything about it. So I was like, okay, they're closed. Okay. So now I'm thinking, all right, so next week I can go see my doctor but now I have the whole weekend. So something I'm going to do to prepare for this is I'm going to talk to my son as well as my girlfriend, the two people who I'm hanging out with this weekend. And I've mentioned this in past videos before. All right. When I get anxious, I get moody. I get snappy. I get irritable. So I'm going to warn them and let them know, hey, I don't have my medications this weekend. So I want to apologize in advance if I get snappy. Now, does that justify or excuse anything I'm doing? Absolutely not. But I do this and I let the people around me know about my mental health. So they're prepared for it. So I see it in this way, right? Like, hopefully, you know, my son's only nine, my girlfriend, you know, obviously much older than him, but they can look at it and say, okay, he's not mad at me. Maybe he's just dealing with anxiety. You see what I'm saying? So they're not blaming themselves for my snappiness, but I'm also very self aware. So if I do snap this weekend at any point, and maybe I'll make a follow up and let you know how it went. I can I apologize for it right after like, I never ever, and something I want to teach all of you, I never, ever, ever justify my poor behavior because of my mental health. Like that is just not an excuse. And, you know, for all of you out there who follow my channel, like, I really want to get that through to you. And so many of you are good about that. Like, we cannot use our mental illness as an excuse to be jerks to people. So I'm going to prepare the people in my life for the fact that I might be anxious this weekend. But what this also does is, aside from like, I might get moody or snappy or whatever, is like, they'll also know not to, you know, just like bombard me with stuff, you know, because they know that I might be dealing with stuff. But I also, and this is for any of you who have anxiety in your inner relationship, or any of you who are in a relationship with somebody with anxiety, like, I'm going to, you know, have this open discussion. Like, it's important that we talk about our mental health. Like, I have open dialogue with my girlfriend and just saying, Hey, I'm feeling anxious today and she does the same. Some days I get into that depressive funk. And I'll just tell her, I'll say, Hey, I don't really know what's wrong. I just feel like that today. That's kind of how I describe my depression. Like when it hits as I'm just like that, you know, but like, it's really important to have that line of communication and relationships. And not just your significant other or your husband or wife, but like, I also talked to my son about it, you know, like, it's important that we have these conversations. But anyways, so my plan for the weekend, like, I don't do anything crazy on weekends. Well, especially right now, because it's still like, hot as heck out here in Las Vegas, like, in September. And I was just in my car and it was like, 105 outside still. But I have a pretty chill weekend. Like my son and I, we might go to a movie. And we're probably going to go to the bookstore or the Halloween store and things like nothing too crazy. Like we're not going to like the Las Vegas strip or not going to the mall, like crowded places make my anxiety even worse. So like that's something that I'm not worried about. I have a pretty chill weekend ahead of me, you know, but now that I think about it, I got to be mindful before we go to the movies and stuff, you know, just like, I'm not gonna, I can't, you know, I got to be mindful of like, am I anxious? Am I rushing? Am I freaking out because my son's not ready to go to the movie and all that kind of stuff. It's just, I got to be really cognizant of what is happening. And another word for that is just being mindful of what is happening from moment to moment. All right. But I have a confession to make in this video. All right. I haven't been formally meditating in a while. Like I was in a very good habit of it while I was working. And for those of you who didn't know, I got laid off a couple of weeks ago last Monday. And it kind of threw my schedule out of whack. And usually I would like meditate on my lunch break or I would meditate before work or whatever it was. And now my schedule is kind of out of a fuck. So like something I'm planning on doing tonight, as well as Saturday and Sunday is meditating because it helps calm my mind down. But sometimes what I do is, is like, I have a hard time meditating for like more than 10 minutes. So sometimes what I do is I meditate five, for five minutes each, like three or four times a day too. So I'm going to be doing that over the weekend because I don't have my medications. And I don't even know if I can see my doctor on Monday. So I might have to keep doing it. And maybe this is a good thing because maybe they'll get me back into the mode of meditating. You know what I'm saying? But on the other hand of not formally meditating, this is why I love mindfulness. For those of you who don't know what mindfulness is, mindfulness is a specific type of meditation. So a lot of you have heard of like mindfulness apps or things like that. But the goal of mindfulness, the overall goal of mindfulness is to have small moments of mindfulness throughout the day. So that's what I like about it because it doesn't require me to find a place to sit and get quiet. Like mindfulness is just paying attention to what's happening right now without judgment. So even though I haven't been formally meditating the last two weeks, I get my moments of mindfulness throughout the day. What's going on in my mind, what's going on in my body, what, what sights or smells or sounds or feelings do I, do I experience from moment to moment. So that's something that has come over the last, I don't know, three or four years of practicing mindfulness meditation is that even when I'm not formally meditating that day, I have a lot of very small moments throughout the day. But again, like, I really wanted to make this video because I really like I do so much for my mental health. Something I was talking to somebody about today is like, if you want to be happy, if you want to overcome your depression, if you want to overcome your anxiety, or if you want to just be successful, like find people who are doing those things and ask them how they do it. You know what I mean? So I really want to like document my stuff more often and just share my life experience because like this, like my mental health, it takes a lot of work, a lot of freaking work, but I want to throw little tidbits out there for you so you can be like, oh, okay. So the next time I went out of meditation, not meditations, medications, this is what Chris did. You see what I'm saying? And then you can try it in your own life because things are going to happen. I didn't expect to be out of refills and maybe that's my bad. Probably is my bad. Definitely is my bad. But I have all these tools that I can turn to for situations like this. Hope that makes sense. But anyways, anyways, that's all I got for you today. Let's have a conversation down below, especially for somebody with anxiety, but even if you struggle with a different mental illness, what struggles have you had if you ran out of your medications, all right? Or if you have any tips for me that you do for your anxiety that helps you even when you're not on medications, all right? Let's leave some comments down below, okay? And just a quick reminder, go follow me on Twitch. I think tomorrow I might make a video recap of the conversation I had with this young woman over on Twitch. It was really, really, really good. We talked about a lot of stuff, alcoholic parents, depression, self-esteem, all sorts of stuff. So go follow me on Twitch. Link is down in the description below, twitch.tv slash the rewired soul. Easy stuff, easy breezy, all right? That's all I got for you. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. And if you're new here, I'm always making videos to help you out with your mental health. Make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all beautiful. And look at this, I'm wearing a rewired soul shirt. If you want to get yourself one, click or tap right there and go over to the rewired soul shop, all right? Thanks so much for watching. I'll see you next time.