 When the narcissist is obsessed with you when the narcissist first targeted you They love bummed you They made you feel special They made you feel wanted and This went on for a little while But then it wasn't long Until they began to devalue you Because you were around them and For anyone you don't really want something when you already have it It's more when you're pursuing it when you're chasing after it When you don't know If it's yours That's what creates Desire is when it's not actually in your possession If you already have it Then you don't tend to want and desire it unless you lose it and of course this is Far more extreme with narcissists so When they lose you they do tend to become obsessed I mean a lot of narcissists don't really have anything Going on in their lives anyway so There's not really anything else for them to Occupy themselves with they just end up chasing after you and That's not to take anything away from you, but normal people tend to have other commitments Things where they are developing themselves and improving their lives But narcissists just all revolves around attention So yeah When you pull away from the narcissist They will often become obsessed It's like their desire for you will come back again Because like I said you don't really Desire something if you already have it Desire comes from the lack The not having something which is why Not just narcissists, but even people in general They do take for granted a lot of the things that they have or at least until someone points it out to them and Validates them then maybe They may start to realize the value of it, but yeah when we have things we don't tend to value them as much It's just there We take it for granted Which is why it's so important to be grateful and practice gratitude every day For the things that we have Narcissus of course are not grateful They're not appreciative of anything you do That is until you walk away and sometimes they will even go right back to the love bombing As soon as you leave them, but whatever you do Please do not mistake it for genuine love and affection Don't think that they miss you or that they love you it really has nothing to do with you It's just this fantasy that they created in their heads When they first targeted you they thought this is it this is the one This is the person who's going to save me and change my life And then it was just a matter of time until they realized that you're not perfect You make mistakes You have imperfections just like everyone else they got involved with Everyone they tried to tear down Everyone they discarded Everyone who got fed up of them They just throw you in the bucket with all of the rest of them You're just the same as everyone else unless sometimes When you walk away When you're the one to discard them Their obsession can return but even then it still has nothing to do with you It's Jill still just the fantasy again and Yeah, it's just all about their ego It's all about Feeling important Feeling like they matter to someone they're seeking attention They're seeking validation Now that's all there really is So yeah, just don't mistake it for love Or as though they actually care about you Because trust me they don't They can't really even see you all they see is these fantasies Which you may have been unaware of Which you were not participating in and I know you may feel flattered by it but It's really Nothing to do with you at all. So you have to separate yourself from it. I Mean, I know we all want to feel loved and wanted But that's not what this is I mean if you look at it, they don't even want you anyway It's just the security and stability The benefits and conveniences The supply That's all they really want So yeah, keep that in mind Just looking out at this beautiful view Of the city Feeling blessed Just to be living my life It really is a miracle Thank you all for joining me On another narc survivor live video hit that thumbs up button If you enjoyed it And I will talk to you in another one very soon