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Published on Jan 30, 2012
This is a story set in the not-too-distant ancient future.
Two brothers came together for one goal, and one goal only: to find the Lost Tablet of Acchragh. The Tibetan Scrolls from the Tomb of Valerian helped them not, only confusing them and frustrating them further. Fret they did not, for they still had within them the fiery flames of vengeance. Years into their quest they happened upon the Medieval Tank of Despair, which attempted to vanquish them by turning them into dust. Disappointed by this minor setback (historians are a little foggy on this part of the tale, but bear with us), they destroyed the tank by vaporizing its engine and ripping out its intestines. They used parts from the tank to create an army of robots to destroy the rest of the tank. At this point, they stopped in at an internet café to order a pizza and create a blog recounting their journeys so far. But the two brothers were only half the way to the Lost Tablet of Acchragh. Here we find them in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, on a ten foot by ten foot island, wondering how they got there. There was with them on the island one tree, two monkeys, and a beaver (not to be confused with the duck-billed platypus, which you'll find is a very different looking creature that is found not on land, but in water. You'll remember, the brothers were on an island, which is land). Suddenly, they look out into the distance and see the One-Legged Tripod Cannon With Two Wheels And Half A Jet Engine of Doom. They looked at it and realized it had only been a matter of time before it caught up with them. They rallied with the monkeys, and devised a cunning plan. They laid themselves down on the sand at took the appearance of hot dogs and chocolate sundaes. The One-Legged Tripod Cannon With Two Wheels And Half A Jet Engine of Doom thought it was real and rushed over because it was parched. When it got there, the brothers and their furry friends let loose their weapons, a-blazing. This only proved to infuriate the One-Legged Tripod Cannon With Two Wheels And Half A Jet Engine of Doom, so it charged up its Tropical Two-Ton Taco Trebuchet Beam and opened fire. In a moment's instance, the beaver chopped down the tree with its mighty tail, creating a large wooden t-bone stake to drive through the One-Legged Tripod Cannon With Two Wheels And Half A Jet Engine of Doom's cold, relentless heart. Within this action, the now exploding One-Legged Tripod Cannon With Two Wheels And Half A Jet Engine of Doom had revealed a map, CONVENIENTLY revealing the location of the revealed Lost Tablet of Acchragh, to be revealed at a later date within a revelation.
The rest of the tale is to be left for another day.