 How can we deal with whatever you are going through? Because I think most guys, they just like keep him quiet. Like they want to deal with their problems. And other men like going to their friends. And their friends are like, Sibbe, deal with that lady. Beta, anako, anako naji, we niwa. You know such utterances are very venomous. So we have to deal with professionals. Kansela, the people who know how to deal with issues, deal with issues. All right, so we have crimes of passion. These are, again, we started with the women who have done this to their men. We've started here. We don't know if they're gonna oppose. Now I'm a fungwa. So these ones have killed their people. Yeah, I don't know what the history was. I don't know what happened. I don't know if they were fighting. I don't know if it was self-defense. But they have been jailed for killing their significant other. And here is another one. First degree crimes of passion. So students of, this was in 2016 again. Students of Moe campus at the public hostel. Now, Sana Sana tumonani students. Students, yeah. Is there a reason why they're only students? I believe in me. There's a good reason. We find that even we should look at this thing from the women's side and the men's side. You know if you're a girl and you know very well that you don't like this guy, just tell the guy the truth. Don't let the guy spend on you. It's time. He sacrifices. Atanaji kwa fi. He puts on you. And then you end up disappointing him. And you know when a man kills, it's always rational. A man never plans like, I want to date this girl for a period like one year and then I'm going to kill her next year. Kill her, you see? It's rational because I'm investing on you. Love, spending my time. And then I just come and find out that you've been cheating on me or you don't love me. Money always just goes rational because even you see the reason the reason that Kinotia killed Ivy. It was because she didn't want to pick the calls, sending money, but it doesn't reply. If you don't just love that guy, just let that guy go. Tama sayangikuwa. There's a question, what's going on? Why is there so much pent up answer? And I have a question for you, Steve. I agree with what Sinba is saying. I understand. I have recently come to understand manuume webuyake imezakua ekstrin kidogo. And then we have here the phenomenon of women being murdered by the intimate partners is on their eyes. Yani first of all, demakai poa, aji kip vizuri, and then suddenly, in fact, everyone guess she, I think a day or two after she passed on was her birthday. So that story went just for sad to every single angle. But my question is, a woman can come and argue. You guys have been cheating on us for the longest time. For the longest time. Like in fact, there's no one as jealous as a man who's cheating on a woman. Kusana jwakanya na ndakufaga. So the amount of, why are you, why are men resulting to murder men? Ni ni ni? No, for the first time, okay, when I told Sinba about Sinba, he said, na penda mitu na ngebi ea kupendi, no na, so na penda sana, and again, yeah, yeah, anonan kama, ako, akamebe na penda mitu ni nene. So na pataka, so na jitwalia, u na penda, u na mitu bianemi, u na fag, u na mutsedia, in staff, and u na patatu kubi a kakupendi. So it's painful. So na pata mitu ani awezi, kuni u na una inakuma sana, so, u na shi na urofa nage. So na pata, on and up kumuma or something? Yeah, but manu meneza kuna demkawa tatu. Yeah, on andzuma demkawa tatu. Lekini ate, okay, this is what they tell me, Kenyan men can, they, they are built to cheat. Let's just give it, let's just put it like that for a little bit. So if he has three girlfriends and then ate, kuna moja mwenye u penda sana, za u moja aki cheat, sasa wumde na kufa. But why? You've been cheating this whole time. Why is it such a big deal that now she's cheating on you? Yes, I'm not serious, but Allah nene mi na sumbo? If you just say that men cheat, let me do something, you saw that man going to kill that girl, probably a 100% that was the first cheek. A man can even have 10, but there's only one. No, you know, Ken on the zayenda. Atomia, na kini kuna wule mwenye utwa kimandia, aki mbilutik, baske uchungusabu, alabda eni na kumugongati. Gungongani, just crazy, the generation pia, na pata tu na kugongati, ato onikti na ukelikia pibola kini, kamuna penda mstanda, na kufanyelba, atasa zi nini? How you understanding his logic? Because here we have a picture of the lady, Hone University fighting for her life, na wukimutiki, maybe if we had this conversation with her a few hours after, maybe she gets better, recuperates and everything, I think she'd have a different opinion. How do you feel about what he's saying? Atisa sasa, if you had that one, wenye na pendwa, where so fai kuchesande? Na kuchesa, shoka. You know, like villata na onge, like, ana sema, ana justify, posicionia men to cheat. But you find that, men aki find another woman, the one an pendwa, aki cheat, it will be another case. He can even slap you or beat you, no na. Like me ni mendwa, so many places have seen women, like kum say, agai ana pata galfendi, aki apo aki drinkata, like, she's not even doing anything. An amto apo like, ana start, ana zakumpiga, even before the public, no na. So like, I don't see why men are justifying their positions to beat women, no na. Like, you find a girl, I have a friend, she's very faithful to her boyfriend. But the boyfriend has so many girlfriend and yeah, ako so desperate ana takampende, like, she's there, she's not even doing anything, she's being beaten, keshwa ako pali. You know, such things because of love, no na. But if you're trying to show these people this is wrong each and every time, you know, sometimes it's a psychological issue. Because if you try to see things in a different angle, this person is going to to deal with you in a bad way. Please get out of that relationship. Then I think... You want to say something? Yes, yes. As you know very well, women still don't appeal us, they don't appeal us. So maybe, you know we're dating, we're dating again, we're going to be in love or something like that, so when you say, hey, we're dating. So, we're going to be together. So you can tell me, you can say, hey, we're dating. Then we can open wind together, we can share that to the people we know, to the people we love, maybe we can give advice or we can tell them the things that happen. What advice do you have for the people you know? We have to speak out. Is there a place that men can just, you know, amani sa temi, temi a game, sa zilemsha kunyua, kama machine doa sando nangana feelings kabisa, kama machine doa, ham tongayo sto rimpaka bada, like, is there a place and a time for a guy to talk, and is there a safe place or there are people you can trust? Is there? Do men speak out? Sometimes men na na feyanga kuspika because they feel like they look weak, because even our girls don't love weak men. So men are not speaking out, but at a low ratio, because all I'm about to speak is because that they don't want to be seen weak. See, for example, I can go to a fellow man and I'd be like, if I tell him that my girl is cheating on me, the advice which will come from the guy is because it's a philosophy like you need backup because if you don't have backup and the main driver is a baby, so even if you don't have the advice, because sometimes you can't go, we understand that the government is fostering for we talking to our parents about ownership and everything, we're here to go there, but it's very rare that you can just find a man going to sit with the parent and tell me, dad, we'll be going to Nisumbu asana. By the way. You see, any tunagopakwa ni kana inferior, that's the only thing. Even to fellow men. Yeah, even to fellow men. If you had the chance to talk to someone, maybe a female, how would you want us to respond? Like would you want us to be understanding? Would you want us to just keep quiet and listen? How would you want feedback? If you feel it, you can just check it out. If you don't have any advice, you can just tell a man what you want to do in the package. Like what do you want? Yeah, for instance, come with me, if you want to shade me, maybe I can give you advice. So, maybe you can give me advice or you can give me advice. All your close friends, you can discuss it with me too, then we'll come up with a solution. So, it's possible? It's possible, yeah. So, why aren't we doing it? It's ego, the ego thing. It's ego, but still. Because both of you said ego. Yeah. It's ego, but okay, see what? So, trans the initiative. It was like, I wanted to text my girl first after a long time, but then I realized she also has a phone. You see? This thing of who to text first or who to do what first. That's what we call ego. And then of the day, kumene maza na iyo niniyako, iyo hati biliyako inakuma, inakuma inakuma, na kusaba jaku texti aja nini. Sasa unanzu kwa imaji nana fani ni kaku text? Sasa kumuja tu, we just unapatotuku free. Sama, let me go and check her. Whoa, whoa. Mene na unam check unapata kuna boyuko? Plan B. I'm a sayenda kwe boyfriendu, when do you plan? No, nae. So, ok, na unapata labda, for example, he has a guy. Uhum. O uta fikiria, labda na kazi ni aike ma niniu aike? Na mulizani. Na mulizani, na pige tu apu. Oh. So, what should a man do when jealous? And I think this is one question that it feels should. If you're going to take anything away from this, is the answer to this. What should a man do? What do you think a man should do when they're jealous? I think this guy has the same. I think I like vene una fikiria nuna. Like going to your friends, especially female. I have guys, friends of mine, especially now that I'm in office. They come and tell me, Faye may have this issue with my girlfriend. She's on my neck trying to do this and this. How can I help her? How can I help myself on this? All right. Now, I talk to them because I also want to favor both of them. You know, the boy and the girl at the same time. You know, trying to, when you're jealous, when a man is jealous, not even a female. You know, some we can't do anything when we're just jealous anyway. But when a man is jealous, somehow emotions is a case in a panda. Especially when a girl is jealous with another guy. Atanzaku fikiria. Atanzaku fikiria. We don't have a boyfriend. But I would urge men, please, if you have issues with your girlfriend, if you are jealous, talk to other female friends. You know, they can lead you well. Talking out, speaking out, I think. You're not destroying someone's home by going to talk to other girls. No, it depends. Because girls were not good. Please tell the truth. It's true. In fact, we are all not as enemies. It is true. You know, if you are jealous, you can't do anything. You can't even look at your friends. But it also depends, you know. Because me, it's a different case with me. Me, I talk to so many guys. It's like I am a counselor. Yeah, you have that kind of vibe. I talk to them and it's something easy for me to deal with that. Would you feel comfortable right now as we are? I think we could. We're also najwa. Because what's the sharp key to not be najwa? I mean, on the right hand side, not to be najwa, stranger, masida, masi. No, it's a good idea to talk to girls, but let's not blame them, because you can be like, you know, mum, she doesn't cook for me and everything. And then we just text, imagine, as a pika, then the girl will tell you, just come to my house. Ah, cook for you. Cook for you. So, I think it's a good idea to talk to strangers. I'll cook for you. Cook for you. So, I'm scared she'll be like, Alice, it's not good. Mdogo, mdogo, mdogo, mdogo. Imagine, I just came home, just come at my place. Before you know, the bond is growing. Kim chazom, chazom. The bond is growing. Before you know, you would touch or feel for the person that you love. The person who recommend or advice, you start falling for her. No, no. So, ume pinja wuku, me jenga up. Nasiti, now the anger in him or in guys has not been solved. Ume shift to attention. But at some point, maybe would demata kasi desha u? U chale. So, we're fixing the symptoms instead of the actual disease. So, we need to figure out what's going on. I'm sorry, let me just read these, a couple of messages. Haival, tina here. Somebody tell our men it's no longer wrong for man to cry. Wa liye wa sife na shita zao kifawani. Oh, I like that. Haival, mimi ni ochi, mimi na ongeyanga, shita zaanko na shosh. Haimi ni sa idea sana, na kama sayo yaya yata mimi ninge shawam. So, fellow men, find someone to open up. So, ume skia buzz akona shosh. Ote akona shosh. Tua patam tua pangile shakia. Like legit, guys, I'm serious. It's breaking my heart. Mki tuwa nani ataza. Mki jiyuwa dutwa, dutwa lewa nani. Like, what do you want from this dynamic, guys? Ah, also remember to go to Facebook. Right now, right now, we reached your comment. And we have someone saying it's social media partly to blame. Faith from Russia. Do you think that? Do you think that's true? Yeah, I think. Yeah? Why, have you all agreed so quickly? Yeah, because we're living other people's life. You know, for example, I'm dating you and you want us to live JZ and Beyoncé's life. And I'm not able to meet your expectations. So we find when our expectations are twice beyond what we can achieve, we live a false life. All right, so if I would read the last question, what should a man do when he feels overwhelmed? What should a man do when he feels overwhelmed? And this is not just in a relationship context. So dem na kubo, old streaming, like, generally in life, wukenda wupate job manzee, na wambia, eh, this is your last day, just pack up and leave. Naseo ume, ume, ueni wakukam, umetuka reserve, na ueni na jasuli, na irobi tresha. Uku jes juski ebe, mafte me panda tresha. Street dob dogo, o nyanyani tatu u 25 po, agi, kresha. What do we do when we man get overwhelmed? Steve, if I may. Agi, kurilaks agi. Zeni na nisha wengumu, na nisha wengusu kudika, kresha. Uwebe na kaivi po, na maintain agi. Yes, me na, okay. Life wengumu, wengu je. So, mafaku relaks, mafaku dituma. So, kawakuna shida, mafaku. Makubali tu, kade mumu, for instance, kade mumu, kwacha. Makubali. Achika. Achika tu. Kama upeu, meachu apia. Makubali tu. Yeah. All right. So, wow. There's so much feedback. Can I read this for you? Wow! Okay, let's do this first. We have Tankan Moronio. Hai, Saronio. Masculinity is tiring. I think what needs to be done is understanding that taking care of yourself is paramount. You cannot take care of others if you are not okay with this understanding. It would be easier for us men to speak up and share. I really like that. Joshua Garrickston opening up for the 21st century man is difficult because of all the expectations expected from them. Too much empowerment of the girl child has made this very difficult for us. Suicides and homicides arise from these pressures to live up to the expectations. Kiddie Melody says, I believe when you are in a relationship you too should work on making the relationship to be better. If there's a problem you too should talk it out and try to find a solution like mature people. Wow! All of you are so deep. So I'm taking home from this that first of all masculinity is about taking care of yourself before you start taking care of others. I see again the girl child has been over-empowered. And then I see that we should act like mature people like to nafa, to kumgeka. Siji metu machu na chizaka, cha mama, na cha baba. Sinika lungo. Nasi kwa sirias. Since we have big girls and boys. We have James saying the world has become so cruel that people fear sharing what's affecting them. Since you might not know the person you're sharing with what they'll do with this information. Some will record you, some will take a screenshot or pretend to listen only to walk out laughing at you then share them with others. So you become the breaking news in the streets. This is why people resort to taking away lives so that whatever I said doesn't hurt them more since they shall have been kwao. They'll be gone. The people pretending to be close to you are your enemies and just looking for any single challenge in your life to bring you down. I can only trust my mother with life matters and in case where she doesn't exist I believe the pains just can just keep on enjoying me to their satisfaction. Someone has been had so much manzeh paka ata ki kumgea anymore leki leki ni mams kasi mams nevo. Well, how would you like to wrap this up for us? Maybe mamsha. I recently like a year or some months ago our women have just opted to be like the right people today are now white men. They should know that even white can be hurting. So running away from the blacks to the white won't solve anything and if we decide to stick with the blacks remember that we should reduce our egos. If we reduce our egos everything is going to be right.