 The narcissist has to see you. Narcissists are spectators. They enjoy watching and making observations. They are voyeuristic. They derive enjoyment from seeing your pain and distress. And may gain sexual pleasure from watching you when you are naked or engaged in sexual activity. Many narcissists may suffer from voyeuristic disorder, but they feel compelled to see you. Especially in situations where you cannot see them. Although in some situations they may want you to see them and this may further gratify them. Narcissists need people. They need a physical body and an active mind. Something that they can play with. Something that they can use to obtain supply. They cannot function without you. They have to see you with their own eyes. It's not enough for them to talk to you on the phone or even through FaceTime or video call. They have to see you in person. They have to see your physical body. Everything they do is in reaction to you. Rather than something coming from within themselves. They take all of their cues from you. Anything you say, do or experience could serve as a signal for them to begin their performance. It indicates how they might need to behave in particular circumstances. And that is how they always know what they need to do next. By seeing you and making observations. When the narcissist sees you in person, they can observe your body language. They can observe your conscious and unconscious movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated. This may include facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. This is a very satisfying experience for the narcissist and it allows them to gauge where you are in the mind. Which will then determine what they are going to do next. Narcissists can become very frustrated if they don't get to see you. It makes them anxious. It irritates them. They may become very angry and say or do things to hurt you. Or they will stalk you covertly because they just have to know what you're thinking. They have to know where you are and what you're doing. They have to trap you in their web because that's where they can gain power and control over you. That's where they can influence and direct your behaviour and the course of events. If they cannot see you, they lose their power over you. They lose their ability to control you because they don't know what's going on in your mind. They don't know what you're going to do next. Sometimes you may catch or feel the narcissist watching you. You can feel that eyes on you and you may be doing something as simple as eating or watching TV but you just know that they're closely observing you. They're studying your every move. Studying your behaviour. They are looking for micro expressions and emotional responses. They are trying to explain the meaning of your actions or certain information. They are constantly in this mode of observation and interpretation for no apparent reason. You don't have to be doing anything significant or important. They just become fixated in whatever you're engaged in and then use it to try and pull you closer to them. They want to get you into a corner where they can have you all to themselves and play with you as their own personal puppet. They want to be tied to you. They want there to be this firm and breakable attachment between you and them but they can lock you into their realm for their own purpose or needs. They are trying to take you into their possession by control or force. The narcissist has to see you. They experience these obsessive or consuming dominated thoughts about you but they just can't let go. They can't move on their lives. They will do whatever it takes to keep you tethered to them. They will set limitations and restrictions for you. They will enclose, surround and circle, confine whatever it takes to keep you locked in where they can have you all to themselves and use you for whatever purpose or need they have assigned to you. The less you want to be around them, the greater of an acquisition you are. They see it as though you are something they have managed to succeed or achieve by effort. They have acquired or secured you as a result of the conflict like a victory, triumph, conquest, a highly successful example of something, something to brag and boast about regardless of how you might feel about the situation, regardless of how you might not even want to be there. It's not about you, it's about them and how great they are for securing you and locking you down within their chamber. When they capture you, they take your power away from you. It makes them feel stronger and more confident. It makes them feel as though they have accomplished something difficult. When the narcissist sees you, they make up all kinds of stories inside their minds from what they believe they've observed in your body language and facial expressions. Which can often send them on a wild goose chase. They might see you laughing or smiling and then they will create a story to go with that or they might see you not smiling and make up a story for that. Whatever you are saying, doing or experiencing, they will always have some type of narration to go with it. They will leave no stones untuned. They will make every possible effort to find something or solve their problem. When you are their target, you preoccupy and fill their minds to a troubling extent. You are unknowingly devouring them and there is nothing they can do to stop this from happening. Thank you for watching. I hope this video wears in it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. CoachingInquires, you can email me at narxfathercoaching at gmail.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.