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Published on May 6, 2012

This video was originally released on May 7, 2012, on the one year anniversary of my partner Tom Bridegroom's tragic death. It quickly went viral and led to the feature documentary film, BRIDEGROOM, which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival in April 2013. The film went on to have its television premiere on the Oprah Winfrey Network and is now available on Netflix and iTunes. It has won multiple Audience Awards at film festivals and just recently was awarded the GLAAD New Media Award for Best Documentary.

But it all started with this video. I believe that by sharing our personal stories, we can change the world. May 7, 2014 marks the third anniversary of Tom's death and in his honor I ask that everyone uploads their own videos, photos, or written stories to social media to help inspire others. You may even save someone's life. Use the hashtag #TapTapTap to join the global conversation.



AMAZON.COM http://amzn.com/B00EU8RB14



First Song:
Trent Reznor "Hands Cover Bruise"

Second Song:
Natalia Walewska & Rafal Lewandowski "Clair De Lune"

Third Song:
"Beautiful Boy" Coleen McMahon

Comments • 25,603

Lance Boil
I saw the movie last night on Netflix. I am so sorry! When My partner, Jimmy was told by his doctor that he had less than a year to live, he did not hesitate, he found a lawyer and wrote a will, leaving everything to me and made me executor. I remember asking him "why, your family likes me and has excepted our relationship." We had been partners for 15 years. He explained to me the hard truth. His parents were liars and once he was dead, they would descend on our home like vulchers. He died, they did. I was almost too distraught to think. I couldn't believe it, his parents in our home asking for bank statements, belongings, including his car. I handed his father a copy of the will, he read it and looked really angry. I gave them a few personal items they asked for, others I kept. They wanted his remains, however I was granted custody of his remains. I then told them to leave. I believe my partner arranged all this to not only protect me, but to spite his parents. They went back to Bung Hole Redding, CA where they belonged with almost nothing. F*ck em! Please remember, this upload is about Shane & Tom. I did not post here to get attention or sympathy. I am now legally married to a wonderful man. The same man who had known Jimmy since they were both kids and assisted me in caring for him until he passed.
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Michael Jones
Lance Boil wow!
Mark Plescia
Lance Boil a
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RESUMEN EN ESPAÑOL: Tom (quien crecio en Indiana) y Shane (quien crecio en Montana) estuvieron juntos por seis años, empezaron un negocio, compraron una casa y viajaron alrededor del mundo juntos. Luego de 5 años, decidieron contarles a sus familias que estaban juntos. La familia de Shane se alegro porque él habia encontrado el amor de su vida, en cambio, los padres de Tom se indignaron. Cuando Tom viajo a Indiana para navidad, el padre lo amenazó con un arma y lo ataco fisicamente. La madre le dijo que la homosexualidad era una enfermedad, y lo culpó a Shane por hacerlo gay. Le dijo, también, que tendria que haberle dicho antes, asi encontraban ayuda medica.  Tom, volvio a su casa, ya dejando atrás Indiana. Luego de dos años se comprometieron y prometieron que se iban a casar cuando esto sea legal. Tom le dejó una carta, diciendole lo siguiente: " Feliz Navidad! Con amor, Tom. Gracias por todo tu amor, estaria tan perdido sin ti, tengo el presentimiento que el 2011 cambiará nuestras vidas para siempre! Te amo siempre y para siempre, Tom." Tom tenia razon, el 7 de mayo de 2011 él falleció. El dia de la madre, su madre viajo para llevarse el cuerpo a Indiana, aunque Tom ya no consideraba mas ese lugar como su casa. Mientras esperaban que el forense liberara el cuerpo, la madre le pregunto a Shane por sus cuentas bancarias y le sugirio que pagara el funeral y el traslado hasta Indiana. Tambien se llevo cosas de Tom. Apenas le entregaron el cuerpo, la madre se fue rapidamente. Le dijo a Shane que lo mantendria al tanto, pero nunca mas supo de ella.  Shane hizo planes para viajar a Indiana y asistir al funeral, pero recibio una llamada de un miembro de la familia de Tom diciendole que él no era bienvenido. Fue advertido de que el padre de Tom y su primo tenian planeado un ataque apenas se presente en el lugar. Por su seguridad, decidió no ir. No fue ni siquiera mencionado en "el memorial" (donde hacen un resumen de la vida del fallecido), aún siendo la persona mas importante en la vida de Tom. Solamente lo amaba. Cuando sus familiares y amigos expresaron su indignación, los padres de Tom dieron de baja la página. Para ellos, Shane no existia. Y para el gobierno, ellos eran "novios" o "amantes". El fue al hospital para saber más sobre lo que habia pasado, pero no le dijeron nada porque no tenia ningun derecho, para eso tendria que contactar a los padres de tom. Para Shane, Tom era su familia. Aun teniendo un negocio y una hipoteca juntos, no tenia ningun derecho legal para ser informado sobre la muerte de Tom o los eventos acontecidos. De haber tenido los derechos para casarse, todo hubiera sido diferente. "Perder un amor es suficientemente doloroso, pero tambien ser insignificante legalmente lo hace aun peor" Después de un tiempo, volvio a verlo.. en el cementerio. "Tenemos que tomar partido por la igualdad y promover la tolerancia. No dejes que el miedo o el bullying te detengan a luchar por la igualdad. Compartan sus historias, y amen a quienes quieran amar. Cualquiera sea tu orientacion sexual, te ruego que tomes los pasos necesarios para cuidarte a vos y a la persona que amas. El tiempo es ahora, si crees en (traduccion) #IgualAmorIgualesDerechos  por favor comparte este video" Espero que les sirva, la verdad es que me tomé el trabajo porque siento que todos deben saber lo que cuenta esta historia, realmente triste e injusta, para crear consciencia. Besossss!
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♥ :)
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diana maldonado
I saw the documentary on netflix i cried and cried and still feel like crying
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Michelle Chalifour
shane, my son came out to me a year ago...even though I've known since he was 5. my son Tommy was always sad. you could see so much in his eyes but he wouldn't share it. it always frightened me until he found his "Tom" Joe. when I saw him with Joe I knew he was safe...happy...silly...passionately in love. I'm so sad you've lost this and I pray you find another love... be open to it. maybe Tom will guide you to meet the right person. I wish there were words to describe my feelings for you. it's as though you're my son and I'm feeling your hurt keep your chin up and please do a video letting us know how you are doing. I think we all fell in love with you and Tom but now you must go on....don't forget him but don't dishonor him by not finding love again. you know it's what he'd want. love you Shane....
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Diego Reyes
I am 16 and gay and hope that one day my non supportive parents will finally open their eyes and realize I am the way I am I can't change it and that I am proud of it this inspirational story gives hope to every gay,lesbian, and bi person and this tragic story will bring hope to thousands even millions of people for years wish you the best you are amazing for showing how strong you were. 
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Harley Hawkins
I'm sure they'll come around. My mom was completely supportive of me. You're gonna be fine. 💕
Chris Byl
my parents were same way when i first told them... they didnt kick me out cuz they loved me and took 4 years for them to come to terms with it but now my totally accepting
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Kay L
I'm a straight black woman and I just watched this documentary on Netflix and I cried through most of it and I'm still crying. Toms parents/family are the most ignorant set of Sob's I have ever come across! I would never disown my child because he/she is gay--that's a sin! You can't help who you are; I'm not black by choice it's the hands I was dealt. Gay, black, white we are all people and I thank you for sharing your story because judging from the viewers you have more supporters than haters :) so on behalf of all of your supporters whoever has a problem with this video they can kiss your....(you know the rest Shane) mwah!!!!
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Kay L
No problem :-)
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Ckoocie Eurovision Song Contest
I don't know where to begin. Last night I saw the documentary and I say this with 100% truth. Nothing in my life has had such an impact on me. I never cry to movies or whatever but I was on the floor almost screaming cause of my anger and sadness. I can't even imagine what you went and are going through and it was a long time ago since I felt that bad. I don't have words for how strong you are. You have become my inspiration. You are such a wonderful person and you deserved so much better. I'm lucky that I live in a country where its fully accepted to be gay and that made it a lot easier for me to come out. I don't know if you will read this or not but if you do I just want to say. You are the strongest human being in the existence. Mental pain is a thousand times worse than physical and I have felt a glimt from what you felt or feel. My mother passed away when I was young but I honestly don't think its even comparable. It would be an honor for me to meet you some day. You have all my love, support and respect. You are one amazing being. Thank you for sharing this. Much Love
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John Lee
+Catalepsy Then you need to get into the 21st century...you're reading out a book that is WELL OUTTA DATE. Everything, and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING (not Everything but God's Word) CHANGES. You wanna disagree with me, then you are just asking for a BLOCK.
Kenneth Healy
+Catalepsy No you are wrong ...they didn't deserve that , its easy for you to sit behind a screen and type hateful  and disrespectful comments .....nobody needs that
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Wish Tom was here so he could see that Love Wins. It always wins. 
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Blucky Jones
Purple Longhorn I agree...Truly heartbreaking!! ❤
Blucky Jones
+Alyssa Mathis I know this post is really old but had to comment anyway. U GO BABY👏❤💪 I'm so proud of what you said back to that useless piece of garbage ,bcuz most people just don't speak up for what's right.. my 1st reaction was - *oh I'ma bout to snap on this fool! but then I read what u said & u took the words right outta my mouth. Those ones that are pure evil & heartless like that disgust me. I'm not gay but I'm a firm believer in EQUALITY ,I have unfortunately had to deal with hate due to being in an interracial relationship,& I have 2 bi-racial son's who are now grown men. 19 & 20..but thankfully my son's were raised with enough unconditional love, kindness, & acceptance that when they are faced with the hate & negativity it just rolls right off their backs..They know who they are & they will never allow anyone to make them feel less than or unworthy. Sorry for such a long msg, lol..but just wanted u to know that u did a good thing putting that person in their place. We need more like u who are unafraid to speak their minds standing up for what's right. Stay Blessed & take care sweetheart 👏👏💪💪💚💚
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George Smith
The most virulent pathogen facing humankind is religion.
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Jessica Walters
George Smith religion doesn't make people nasty. the way people are raised makes them nasty. I know many non religious people who are the most vile people you could ever meet.
Yes sir! it's time to do away with it.
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Jill Harris
Considering it finally happened equal rights and now gays can get married I'm very happy but so angry this couldnt happened when Tom was alive so u could have had your special day with Tom and when Tom died they wouldn't of be able to shut u out of what happened and the funeral. I wish u and Tom could have witnessed it together. Rip Tom. You both r very loved and you keep me strong. Thank you for your videos I really think you had a huge impact on equal love equal rights because u spoke up. I and Tom r so proud of u. Hes looking down at you smiling. 
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Jill Harris
+Pullisto Me too
+Jill Harris agree totally, and wish love would always conquer all.
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