 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with Pinch Me. You know, one secret of planning a successful meal, ladies and gentlemen, is to finish with the flurries with a really swell dessert. In fact, that's one reason so many people like Jell-O because it always winds up the meal in grand style with a burst of color and a touch of rich lingering flavor. Take Cherry Jell-O, for example. Nothing makes a prettier picture than a shimmering bright red mold of Cherry Jell-O with golden sliced peaches glowing in its depths. And what a tangy, refreshing flavor, as tempting as the real ripe fruit itself, a solid satisfying goodness that you'll want to enjoy again and again. No doubt about it, a dessert like that certainly adds the final crowning glory to any meal. So when you plan dinner tomorrow, plan to finish with a flourish with Jell-O in any of Jell-O's six delicious flavors. Only just be sure of getting genuine Jell-O when you buy. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O and Jell-O spells a treat. Pinch Me played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen... Oh, Don, Don, did Phil get here yet? Uh, not yet, Jack. And now, ladies and gentlemen, this be our first program of the new year. We bring you that holdover from 1939. Jack Benny! Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking. And, Don, I didn't mean to interrupt you before, but, uh, I'm a little anxious for Phil to get here. He isn't out in the hall, is he? Uh, no, Jack. What's the trouble? Oh, no trouble, Don. That is, I hope not. You see, I made a wager with Phil on the Rose Bowl game last Monday, and he lost. He'll be so mad he'll go nuts. Oh, so you bet a couple of bucks on Southern California, huh? A couple of bucks, nothing. I bet $50 on SC. 50 smackers. Uh, pardon me. I must be in the wrong studio. Mary, come back in. There's nothing wrong with my risking $50. Of course, I had a hunch that I'd win. You didn't have a hunch. You had a vision. I have nothing of the kind. Anyway, Don, just wait until Phil gets here. I doubt if he even shows up. Oh, he'll show up, Jack. Well, don't start a ribbon or anything, because I'll have a tough enough time collecting as it is. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. Did you enjoy the Rose Bowl game last Monday? I certainly did. I, uh, I didn't see you, Dennis. Where were you? I was selling hot dogs. You owe me 30 cents. Oh, was that you? Yeah. I saw you at the game, Jack. You were sitting in the Southern California rooting section. Me? You should have seen him, Don. He was wearing a raccoon coat, a beanie, and waving a pennant with Laguna Beach on him. That wasn't me, Mary. That was Basil Rathbone. I happen to be sitting behind the goal post, way up in the 75th row. Up in the 75th row? Did you enjoy the game, Jack? Oh, it was all right, till the last quarter. What happened then? My radio broke and the clouds rolled in. What a seat I had. I was in the fog so long I came down with an English accent. Oh, well, I'll know better next year. Did you have any bets on the game, Mr. Benny? Just one, but I anticipate a bit of trouble collecting. You know, Dennis, I bet $50 with Phil Harris and wait to see him when he has to pay up. Oh, boy, what a bum sport. You know, he's the kind of a... Oh, quiet, Jack. Here he comes now. Oh, yeah. Watch me lead him. Hello, Gambler. How's the old Tennessee fan today? I'm fine, Jackson. And here's your 50 bucks. You deserve it, kid. You sure can pick them. Oh, boy, is he burned up. You know, Jack, I looked for you right after the game. I wanted to pay you then. Oh, sure, sure. I bet you did. I can just see you. Here, Jackson. Well, aren't you going to take the money? It's all yours, kid. Oh, boy, what a sore loser. See what I told you, fellas? What's going on here? If you don't want it, I'll put the dough back in my pocket. You see? Backing out, huh? I thought so. What are you talking about? I lost the bet and I want to pay off. Here's your $50. I won't take it. Why not? Because you're a welcher and you can't fool me. That's why. Jack, you mean to say that you're not going to take the money Phil's offering you? No, I'm not. Wow, that's going to knock the war right off the front page. Listen, Mary, I wouldn't accept a dime from a guy that takes the attitude he does. Well, Jack, are you crazy? The man offered you the money four times. But he could do it like a gentleman. He doesn't have to come in here and throw it on the floor. Who threw it on the floor? It's right here in my hand. You can't bluff me, Harris. Go ahead and sing, Dennis. I'll collect from that guy if I have to attach a salary. I've met small timers before. But gee, Mr. Benny, I saw Mr. Harris offer you the money. He wants you to take it. Sure he wants me to take it, and you know why, don't you? Why? Because when I bend over to put it in my shoe, he'll kick me. I'm wise, I know all the tricks. Sing, Dennis, it's about time somebody exposed that guy. Last night we met and I dream of you, yeah With the wind and the rain in your head How you sighed when we kissed With the wind and the rain in your head The wind and the rain in your head Was a voice, a night was dark and stormed But how could my heart be cold With your tour We were sung by Dennis Day and accompanied by a deadbeat And his orchestra And now, ladies and gentlemen, what do you mean deadbeat? Here's your $50, take it. Don't rush me, I'll get it my own way. And now, folks, if we can get back to the spirit of our program tonight, the Benny Tear and Drama Jerkers will offer their version of Frank Lloyd's great production at Maritime Epic, Rulers of the Sea. Now, I will play the part. But Jack, last week you made a big announcement that we were going to do Golden Boy tonight. Well, we were going to do Golden Boy, Don, but I've decided to let it go for a while. And I know why. Mary, that's not the reason. Anyway, boy. Why the sudden switch? Don, please. Now, I will play the... Come on, Mary, tell us. Mary, why doesn't Jack want to do Golden Boy? Well, here's what happened. A week ago Saturday night, Jack called me up and asked me if I'd like to go over to the Wilshire Bowl for dinner. As Gladys had to work. She did not. Anyway, we got to the bowl about nine o'clock and had a table way in the back where Phil couldn't see us. And just as we were finishing dinner, I said to Jack... You like the food, Mary? Yeah. She is crowded in here, isn't it? It sure is. Hey, waiter, bring me another cup of coffee, please. I don't know about that, Mr. Benny. Go get it. Yes, sir. Gee, Wiz, Jack, just because the second cup of coffee is free, you don't have to have five of them. Mary, at all averages up, how many people even take the second cup? Cigar, cigarettes, and novelties, cigarettes. Oh, girly, give me a cigar, will you, please? Yes, sir. What kind? A couple of those Santa Fe Biltmores. By the way, what's that you got on your tray there tied up in that pink ribbon? That's a lock of Mr. Harris' hair. 50 cents. Well, I don't want it. You better take it. This is the last one left, and we don't cheer him again for a month. No, thanks. Just the same. Can you imagine that, Mary, is that filled corny? Cigar, cigarettes, corn, get in the mood, folks. Selling locks. Selling locks of his hair now. Isn't that awful? Say, I wonder what time the floor show goes on. Oh, look, there's Mark Werner, Phil's announcer. He's getting ready to introduce Phil. Oh, yeah. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Wilshire Bowl. And now, folks, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you our master of ceremonies and comedians. Oh, boy. That maiden's dream on the beam, Phil Harris. How does he rate a reception like that? Well, Phil's very popular here. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Jell-O again, this is smiling Phil Harris talking. Jell-O again. He got that from me. You remember me, folks, your favorite entertainer and the star of that Paramount picture, Man About Tom. Hmm. He got that from Rochester. Quiet, I want to hear this great comedian. Hey, Phil. Yes, Mort. Where'd you get that black eye? That's a birthmark. A birthmark? Yes, I peeped in the wrong birth. Oh, my goodness. Oh. And they're laughing yet. Say, Phil, I heard you were in the hospital last week. Yes, I was, Mort. Pretty sick, eh? No, pretty nurse. Yes! Hey, waiter, bring me another cup of coffee. I'm going to get even somehow. I'll have one with you. Pull up a chair, kid. Mary, I can't understand. I can't understand why people laugh at Phil. His jokes are awful. Then why are you writing them down? I'm practicing my shorthand. That's why. And now, folks, we'll be back in a little while with some sizzling dance music. See you later. Yeah. Well, thank heaven. Say, Mary, let's pay the check and get out of here. Okay, I'll match you this time. Now, tonight it's my treat. Come on, let's go. All right. Oh, Jack, look. Isn't that Barbara Stanwyck sitting over there? Where? Right over there at that ringside table. Oh, yeah. She's with another couple. I wonder where Bob Taylor is. I don't know. I'm going over and say hello to her. Do you know Barbara Stanwyck? Of course I know her. And say, Mary, I've got a great idea. As long as we're going to do Golden Boy next Sunday, wouldn't it be marvelous if I could get Barbara to play her original role? It sure would. I'm going right over and fix it. See you in a minute. You know, Barbara, it's a shame Bob had to work at the studio tonight. It certainly is, Barbara. Well, he's finishing a picture and they're working overtime. You know, Lillian, I was telling Bob only this morning that he... Well, well. Hello, Barbara. Hello. As I was saying, Lillian, I told Bob only this morning that a week in Palm Springs would do... Well, well, well. How are you, Barbara? I'm fine, thank you. Well, it's sure a surprise running into you here at the Wilshire Bowl. Wilshire Bowl? Where's Bob? He's busy at the studio. I expect him later. Oh. Are you working here? No. No. No, I just dropped in for a cup of coffee. Are these folks relatives of yours? Oh, pardon me, I'm sorry. Mr. and Mrs. Kendall, this is Ben Burney. Oh, pardon me, this is... No, no, this is Jack Burney. Benny. How do you do? How do you do? You know, Mr. Benny, I always listen to your program. Is Ms. Livingston with you this evening? Yes, Mrs. Kendall. She's sitting right over there with a waiter. Well, Barbara, it's sure a surprise seeing you here. Yes, sir. Yep. Where's Bob tonight? I told you he was at the studio. Oh. Oh, that's right. Busy, busy, busy, eh? Yes, busy, busy, busy. Well, it's sure a surprise. Yes, sir. Oh, look, the orchestra's about to start a number. Would you like to dance, Barbara? Well, I'm awfully tired. Can't you dance by yourself? No, I'd look funny. Come on. All right, folks, grab your partners. We're gonna play a little number in title. The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home, which is more than it can do out here. Oh, brother. Come on, Barbara, let's dance. Come on. All right. Wait till I get my shoe on. Oh, yes, yes. Why, Barbara, you danced divinely. Thank you. But you're going a little fast, aren't you? Just hang on, Pappy. Why, you're priceless. See, isn't this swell, Barbara? I just love dancing. Do you always puff like this? No. No, I'm just a little excited. You know, when I was a kid back in Waukegan, I used to poop. Oop, I tripped. Sorry, Barbara. Oh, that's all right. Somebody must have shoved me. Yes. I'm so crowded here. But you know, as I was saying, Barbara, when I was a kid in Waukegan, I used to... Oop. I tripped again. Yeah. I don't know what's the matter with me tonight. I'm generally very graceful. In fact, I got medals for dancing. Well, take them off. They're tearing my dress. Well, you have a marvelous, marvelous sense of humor. See, Barbara, look at the way that guy leads an orchestra. How he loves to show off. I like his style very much. Hello, Phil. Well, well, Barbara, how are you, Babs? I'm fine, thank you. Oh, by the way, Phil, this is Jack Benny. How do you do? Work for me. How do you do yet? See you later, corny. I call him corny. What does he call you? He wouldn't dare. Come on, Barbara. I've got something very important I want to ask you. Let's dance some more. One, two. So, you see, Barbara, that would be a terrific novelty. What do you say? Well, I'd love to help you out, Jack, but do you think it would go over? Why, of course, it would go over. Just imagine you playing your original role in Golden Boy on my program with me playing opposite you. Doesn't that intrigue you? Doesn't that do something to you? Doesn't that thrill you? Keep mentioning things. Good, then it's a deal. Now, let's see, when can we rehearse? Now, wait a minute. How about rehearsing Tuesday afternoon at my house? Oh, oh, all right. Then it's a date. My house, three o'clock Tuesday. I must tell Mary. Oh, there she is, dancing with the waiter. Oh, Mary! Don, Jack made a date with Barbara for Tuesday afternoon at his house. Did she show up? Sure she did. Well, then why isn't Jack doing Golden Boy tonight? Wait till I tell you what happened. Mary, forget it. I got over to Jack's house about a quarter, three, and you should have seen him. He was so excited, all he kept saying was, Rochester, have you fixed the sandwiches? Yes, boys, here they are. Hmm. What's in them? This is some of that turkey from Thanksgiving which we also served on Christmas. Oh. That bird had a longer run than tobacco roll. Well, I don't want to serve that to Miss Stanwyck. My goodness, haven't we got any peanut butter? Or something? Yes, sir. Well, make some of those. And Rochester, when Miss Stanwyck arrives, bring her right here into the library. OK, boys. And oh, yes, take that copy of Sheena's beer down from the shelf, dust it off, open it to Hamlet, and put it on the table. It'll make an impression. Mm-hmm. Gee, I hope I look all right. What do you think of my new suit, Rochester? Oh, the coat's beautiful, boys, but don't you think you ought to put your pants on? Oh, I couldn't. Get them quick. Are you in there, Jack? Yeah, but don't come in for a minute, Mary. I'm waiting for something. Here's your pants, boys. Thanks. Say that's a mighty good-looking outfit. Well, I'm glad you like it. You ought to buy more brown suits, Mr. Benny. They flatter both of us. Rochester, don't you dare put this on until it starts to shine. Mary, you can come in now. What was going on, Jack? My pants. Now, Mary, just for today, I want you to do me a favor. Please lay off the wise cracks, will ya? OK. But, say, Jack, you ought to take that sign down from in front of your house. It looks awful. What sign? The one that says, Today in person, Barbara Stanwyck. What? Rochester did that. Rochester, you take that sign down right from the front of the house. Shall I take down the bleachers, too? Yes. Now, Mary, when I'm rehearsing with Miss Stanwyck today, you can help me out by commenting on how good I am. What should I do? Well, when I finish a very dramatic line, you yell out, Bravo. No, it'll impress Barbara. Bravo? What does that mean? Never mind what it means. Just say Bravo. Why can't I say Bravo? Don't you dare. Now, I want everything to be... That must... That must be her now. Answer the Rochester. I mean, answer the door, Rochester. OK, boss. Oh, Jack, control yourself. I'm all right. Where's my cigar? In your ear. Oh, yes. Now, remember, Mary. Good evening, ma'am. May I take your coat? Thank you. Barbara! Come right in. Well, this is a surprise. Surprise? Yes. I mean, that is a surprise. I mean, that is a surprise. I mean, that is a surprise. I mean, that is a surprise. This is a surprise. Surprise? Yes. I mean, that is welcome home. I mean, make yourself at home. I mean... You mean hello. That's it. Oh, by the way, Barbara, this is Mary Livingston. How do you do, Miss Livingston? I knew Bob Taylor before you did. Mary, don't mind her, Barbara. She's always like that. I know. She used to tell me hoes at the May Company. That's a good one. Shut up! Serves you right. Well, let's get on with the rehearsal. Did you bring the script with you, Barbara? Yes. And as the play is very long, I've selected one scene which I think would be ideal for both of us. Oh, you mean it's equally important. Yes. It's the scene where Lorna pleads with Joe to give up fighting and go back to his violin. I see. And I'm Joe. Unless you'd rather be Lorna. Oh, no! No, no. Joe is all right. I'm Joe. Hello, Joe. How are you now? I just got back. Mary, cut it out! Well, Barbara, I think we better get going with our rehearsal. All right. Now here's your part. It's on page 93. Hmm. Oh, yes. Well, what a beautiful copy of Shakespeare you have here. Are you fond of his plays? Oh, yes. I often, while away an hour or so, perusing Hamlet, Macbeth, as you like it, The Tempest. Bravo! Not yes. Oh, yes, yes. I'm quite fond of Shakespeare. Well, that's that. Should I put it back on the shelf now? Never mind, Rochester. Bring in some tea and sandwiches. Yes, sir. Now, all right, Barbara. I'm ready to rehearse. Let's take it from the top of the page here. The scene where I'm trying to get you out of the fight racket. You have the first line. Oh, yes. Hmm. Joe, I'm going, Lorna. Don't read Joe. Just read the line. Oh, yes. Yes. Excuse me. I'm going, Lorna. Don't go, Joe. You must listen to me. When I first saw you, I didn't care what you did. I thought you were just a fighter. I didn't love you then. I didn't care whether you lived or died or what happened to you. I didn't care if I ever saw you again. I'm going, Lorna. No, Joe. You must listen to me. I love you now. You're part of me. Watching you become a fighter taught me something. I've seen you get hard-shelled and tough. Or you shouldn't be in the ring. But it's not for you. You belong in your home. In your home with your violin. I'm going, Lorna. Oh, please, Joe. Please, if you love me, you'll listen to me. I know why you're doing this. You're bitter and callous and hard-boiled. I'm open. But, Joe, don't you remember that night? You spoke of music and what it meant to you. How you loved your violin. You knew what was right then, how people should live. Oh, Joe, give up fighting. Please, please. I'm going, Lorna. Jack, read that right. That's, I'm going, Lorna. Well, I'm tired of saying it the same way. See, it gets monotonous. A fine part. Well, you've got a very dramatic speech coming up. It's the next line. Oh, yes. I didn't see it. Go ahead, Barbara. What do you say, Joe? Will you give up fighting? Oh, Joe, you don't need the money. It isn't the money. I got plenty. Bravo and how? Marry. I'm sorry, Barbara. I'll take it again. It isn't the money. I got plenty. Oh, Joe. Joe, you must give up fighting. Watch this, Mary. Give up fighting? Why, you were the girl that liked champions. You were the... Please. Oh, Joe, don't try to get even with me. Well, I made up my mind to win the lightweight crown. But you're hard to music, Joe. You know that. I can't play anymore. I got the hands of a fighter. They've been... They've been soaked in Brian for a year and they're as hard as nails. They're good for only one thing now, slugging. I'm plugging my weight to the title. I tell you, Lorna, if I... Oh, wait a minute, Jack. Wait a minute. Oh, that's awful. Why? What's the matter? You're supposed to be a fighter, not little Eva. Now, wait a minute, Barbara. I put a lot into that speech. I felt the part and was very emotional. I wasn't cared to wait. You keep out of it. And go get the tea. He's right, Jack. Your performance wouldn't convince anybody. Now, Barbara, aren't you getting a little bit hasty? Yeah, I might not be as good an actor as your husband. But gee, Wiz, we can't all be tailors. Your father was. Quiet. Now, give me a chance, Barbara. I've never read this before. Let's go back to my last line. All right, I'll try it once more. Okay. My hands are good for only one thing now, slugging. Slugging my weight to the title. No, no, Joe, you must give up fighting. You can't talk me out of it, Lorna. I'm going. Oh, don't go. Joe, please don't go. Take me in your arms. Kiss me. My darling. How was that, Lorna? Oh, Joe. I can kiss better than that. I was a little nervous. Oh, Jack, it's no use. You're a nice fellow, but you're a comedian. We don't only make fools of ourselves if we try to do this on your program. But Barbara, it's only Tuesday. We've got plenty of time to rehearse. No, no, believe me, Jack. Rehearsing won't help any. But Barbara, if you'd only... Tea and sandwiches, folks. Tea and sandwiches. Pipping is un-American. Will you... Will you have a cup of tea, Barbara? No, thanks, Jack. I'll just run along. He's not that bad. He can at least walk. Mary. No kidding, Barbara. Have a cup of tea and we'll rehearse some more. No, thank you. Some other time, Jack. Well... Well, that's the way you feel about it. Thanks just the same. You're welcome. Goodbye, Mary. Goodbye. So long, Jack. So long. Oh, by the way, Jack, you're not the kind that kisses and tells, are you? Oh, no, Barbara. No, no. Oh, no. You can trust me. All right, then. Goodbye. Well, there she goes. And I'm going, too. Goodbye, punchy. I can't understand why I didn't play that scene right. I know I can do it. Rochester, read Miss Stanley's part, will you? I want to try it again. Start right here, will you? Okay. No, Joe, you must listen to me. I made a mistake. I love you, Joe. You're a part of me. I can't play my violin any more, Lorna. I got the hands of a fighter. They've been soaking Brian for a year in their heart as nails. They're good only for one thing now. Slugging. Slugging my way... There you are, Don. That's the reason we're not going to do Golden Boy tonight. Well, that's a shame. It would have been a great show. Don't worry, Don. I've been soaking my hands and Brian all week. I'll get her yet. Play, Phil. One thing Jello has always been famous for, ladies and gentlemen, is the wide variety of ways that it can be served, and desserts, salads, and many other grand gelatin treats. But did you know that you can also use Jello to make the finest fruit or vegetable relishes you ever tasted? For example, Jello cranberry relish, bright crimson cranberries, gleaming in a golden mold of clear lemon Jello, and marvelously easy to make. All you do is first dissolve one package of lemon Jello and one third cup of sugar in one pint of hot water. Chill until slightly thickened and fold in two teaspoons of horseradish and two cups of raw cranberries, which have been put through the food chopper. Then mold and you have a delicious relish, a sprightly combination of delicate lemon Jello and the spicy tartness of juicy, ripe red cranberries. Served with roasts or cold meat, it lends a tasty tingle to their...