 CHAPTER IX LOST Our little soldier had his ups and downs, but on the whole he was making steady progress, and his mother was thankful to see his increased thoughtfulness and gentleness. He was not less merry and joyous. He was still the leader of the village sports, but he was learning how to control his mischievous propensities and to restrain his hasty words and actions. Nancy was a great trial to him sometimes, and yet, though the two were ceaselessly involved in arguments and differences, they could not keep apart for long. Nancy's father had arrived and Teddy had the privilege of being invited to tea, and of hearing the most wonderful yarns from the big, brown-bearded men, who, though outwardly rough in voice and manner, had a very soft corner in his heart for his little daughter. Teddy listened and admired and satisfied Nancy by his evident appreciation of the sea-stories, but when he reached home and was asked about his visit, he said emphatically, Nancy's father is very nice, but he's nothing like the picture I've got of father with his red coat and sash and sword, and his voice is so gruff and hoarse, and he shouts so loud, and I shall never, never think sailors are better than soldiers. It was after Nancy's father had left her, and when the bright summer days were beginning to close, that one afternoon Teddy and Nancy were fishing together. At least that was their intention, but anyone seeing them sitting on the low stone bridge over the river, with their lines dangling carelessly in the water, and their merry laughter and voices ringing out continually, would not be surprised if their fishing did not meet with success. At last they clambered down and wandered along the tow-path, and then suddenly Nancy drew Teddy's attention to his button. Why, it's nearly coming off! You'll lose it! she cried. I told Mother it was getting loose yesterday. She says she is always sowing it on. I think I'll take it right off and put it in my pocket. Whatever should I do if I was to lose it? He was jerking at it as he spoke, and it slipped from his grasp and rolled away on the path. It was too great a temptation for Nancy. Like lightning she was after it, and a moment after stood upright and exultant, with the button clenched tightly in her little hand. Give it to me at once, demanded Teddy, quivering all over with excitement. Nancy's brown eyes sparkled with mischief. Ah-ha, little button-boy! I've got it at last, and I shall take it home and have it sewed on my jacket. I shall fight you, cried Teddy, if you don't give it up at once. It isn't yours. You would be a thief if you kept it. Give it to me this minute. Shall I throw it into the river? questioned the saucy little maid. Teddy darted forward and then began a tussle. He tried to wrench her hands apart, and she exerted all her strength to keep them closed. Suddenly, with a triumphant cry from Teddy, as Nancy's fingers were beginning to yield, the button was liberated with such force that it flew violently out, and splash into the river it went. Nancy gave a cry, but without a word or sound, Teddy plunged in head foremost after it. It was done without a thought. He was a good swimmer, and for a minute Nancy watched him in breathless silence. But when his little head rose out of the water he seemed half stupefied, and cried out in a weak voice, Help! I'm drowning! then sank again. Nancy set up a shout with an frantic agony, and a Carter coming over the bridge fortunately heard her, and came to the rescue not a moment too soon. He threw off his coat in heavy boots, and plunged in, just as Teddy's curly head rose for the third and last time. It did not take long to bring him ashore, but he lay in the Carter's arms limp and lifeless, and Nancy burst into an agony of tears. He's dead! He's dead and I've killed him! she cried. The Carter wasted no time in trying to restore animation to the little frame, but all his efforts were unavailing, and at last he said, I'll put him in my cart, and drive as fast as I can to the doctors. It isn't more than a mile off, if so be that he says home. You go home and fetch his mother as fast as you can. Nancy raced off, sobbing as she went, and she was in such a state of excitement that when at length she burst open the farmhouse door she seemed to have lost her speech. Mrs. John saw her face and started forwards. It's Teddy, she cried. What has happened? He's had—he's going to the doctor's dead! She gasped, then fell breathless to the floor. Without a word Mrs. John snatched up a shawl, and with white, set face and lips moving in agonised prayer, she flew along the road to the doctors. She was shown into the room where the doctor was hard at work, but Teddy lay like a wax and image, with the sweetest smile on his lips, his fair curls clustering round his brow, and only an ugly bump amongst the curls told the reason of his sinking under the water again so suddenly. In breathless silence the mother stood and watched, Don't give him up doctor! she cried, as at last the doctor straightened himself and paused, looking at the mother sorrowfully. He shook his head but said to work again, trying artificial respiration and leaving no effort untried to bring back the life that had apparently departed. And then there came the moment when his efforts met with success, for placing his hand against the little heart he felt a feeble throb. He redoubled his efforts, the breath began to appear, a faint colour tinged the blue lips, and at last the heavy eyelids raised, and a faint voice said, Mother! Mrs. John sank on her knees. Thank God! was all she said, and then she fainted. Much later in the evening Teddy was placed in his own little bed at home, but though alive his condition was most critical, and he lay in a heavy stupa, from which it seemed impossible to rouse him. The doctor said that he must have struck his head against a stone when he first dived into the river, and this had produced concussion of the brain. Nancy had been taken home before he came, but the news was brought to her that he was still alive, though in great danger, and that was a great comfort to her poor little sorrowful soul. For many days he lay between life and death. The inquiries after him from every one of his school-fellows, the hall and the different farms and places round, told his mother how much her little son had been beloved, and when on the following Sunday Mr. Upton gave out, in a faltering voice, the prayers of this congregation are desired for Edward Platt, who was very dangerously ill. There was not a dry eye in the church, and one or two audible sobs came from the boys' seats in the gallery. Mrs. John never left her boys' bedside. Night and day she was by him, and many wondered at her calm peacefulness. After the first great shock she had been able to hand over her child into her father's loving hands, and rest content with the result, and so she was able, in perhaps the most anxious time of her life, to look up and say, Father, not my will, but thine be done. The days slowly passed, and still no change for the better. The doctor came and went with his grave and penetrable face, and Teddy was still unconscious. Then doubts began to rise in his mother's heart as to whether his reason would ever come back, and she stopped the doctor as he was leaving one morning to ask him the question, if he lives, doctor, will he be an idiot, my brave Bonnie boy? Oh, I would rather have death for him than that! And the doctor could only give her the meagre consolation. He may recover yet. I have seen worse cases than this pour through, and be as bright as ever they were. And then, one afternoon, when the setting sun was flooding the room with a golden glory, the little head turned on the pillow. Mother! The sound of that word, not uttered since she had seen him in the doctor's house that first terrible day, was like the sweetest music in her ear. Stooping over him, she met the clear conscious gaze of the blue eyes. So tired, mother! Put your hand under my cheek. Good night! The eyelids closed, and the limbs relaxed and healthy sleep. The mother sat down, and though her arm became stiff and weary, not a muscle of it moved. The doctor came in just before he woke. He has spoken, he knew me, she said, and the doctor nodded and smiled, and then a minute after the boy raised his head. Where am I, mother? He asked feebly. In bed, darling, you've been ill. Where's my button? He'll do, said the doctor, contentedly. Keep him quiet and feed him up. And the glad news went round the village that Teddy was getting better. It was a bright day for the farm when Teddy was brought down in a blanket, and put in the big, easy chair by the fire. His little face and hands looked very fragile, with the blue veins standing up clearly under the transparent white skin, but his large eyes shone with light and gladness. His mother made him comfortable, then left him in his grandmother's charge for a short time. Old Mrs. Platt had had her share of suffering during those sad days. Her heart was wrapped up in the boy, and perhaps the greatest trial of all was to stand aloof and perform her daily work downstairs whilst her daughter in law had the sole charge of him. She came across to the chair now, and kneeling down in front of it, said, with tears in her eyes, as she took his two little hands into hers, Granny has sadly missed her pickle all this while. And then Teddy put his little arms round her neck and hugged her close, crushing her cap in the most reckless fashion as he did so. I'm getting better every day, Granny, and I love you ever so. When Mrs. Platt released herself, he went on more sobly. I feel very tipsy on my legs. I asked mother to let me walk just now, but I couldn't manage it very well. I don't think I shall be able to run fast for a year, shall I? Oh, we'll see you about long before that, please, God. And, Granny, you know about my sorrow? The blue eyes looked wistful at the thought. Yes, laddie, but don't think of that now. I told mother I didn't want ever to get well when I first talked about it. I felt I couldn't live without my button, but she told me that was wrong. She said it wasn't being a good soldier to wish to die directly trouble came, and that if I bore my sorrow well, God would be pleased. Do you think I'm bearing it well, Granny? Yes, yes, Mrs. Platt said soothingly. Look at those lovely flowers and grapes that Mrs. Graham sent to you this morning. Wasn't that kind of her? I don't never forget it, pursued Teddy, refusing to have the subject changed. But I thought this morning that God could give it to me again, and so I'm going to ask him every day till it comes. And do you know, Granny, I think he'll give it to me. Only mother says I must be patient. Presently he asked, could I see Nancy one day soon? She comes on her way to school every day to ask how you are. Poor little maid, she's taken on dreadful about your illness, and wouldn't eat her food when you were so ill. Her mother got quite anxious about her. We'll send for her in a day or two, if you keep well. And two days after Nancy appeared. She came up to the big chair very shyly, and looked with awe upon Teddy's white, wasted face. Then she cried impulsively, Oh, button boy, will you ever, ever forgive me? If you had died, I should have killed you. No, you wouldn't, said Teddy, putting up his face and kissing her. I was just as naughty. I shouldn't have tried to fight with you. I go to the river every day, Nancy went on sorrowfully, and Farmer Green brought a big net one day and dragged up a lot of stones in all tin pans. But the button wasn't there. I hope it will be washed ashore one day, and so I look along the banks. But I haven't seen a sign of it yet. I'm asking God to give it back to me every day, said Teddy, with a little decided nod, and I think he'll do it. You ask him to, Nancy, and perhaps he'll do it quicker. I've asked God every day to make you better, and I promised him if he would do it I would be the captain's soldier. Yes, I did, and I said I would give up being a sailor, and be just a soldier, like you are. Nancy made this statement with great solemnity, and Teddy beamed with delight. And are you really enlisted? I don't quite know, but I'm trying to be good, and I asked Jesus to help me every day. Then there was silence. Nancy sat down on the rug and took the large tabby-cat on her lap. Did you think he was going to die? She asked presently. I didn't think nothing at all till I woke up and saw Mother crying over me, and then I felt dreadful, tired, and ill. I asked her one day where she would bury me, for I was sure I was much too ill to get better, and she, well, she smiled and said God was making me stronger every day. I didn't feel I was better a bit. Would you like to have died and gone to heaven? Yes, Teddy answered promptly. Of course I should, wouldn't you? Nancy shook her head. I might if I was quite sure the angel would carry me safely all the way without dropping me, or leaving me in the clouds before we got there. But I think I like to live here best. Besides, I don't think I'm good enough to go to heaven yet. I don't think it's being good gets us to heaven. Jesus died to let us, you know, like the hymn says. Jesus loves me, he who died, heaven's gates to open wide, he will wash away my sin, let his little child come in. Have you asked him to forgive you, Nancy? Nancy nodded. Yes, when you were so ill, I felt I had been so wicked that God was punishing me. Here, reverting to more earthly topics, Nancy held up the cat, arrayed in her sailor hat and jacket. Look, this is Jack Tarr. Doesn't she make a jolly sailor? A gleeful hearty peal of laughter came from Teddy, and was heard in the adjoining room by his grandmother with comfort. She called Mrs. John, hear that now, why he's getting quite himself again. It does him good to have a child to talk to. She must come again. And this Nancy did, and the roses began to come back to Teddy's cheeks, and then others of his playfellows were allowed to come and see him. Certainly no little invalid could have received greater attention than he did during that time of convalescence. Every day, small offerings were presented at the door by the village children, and very diverse were the gifts. Sometimes a bunch of wildflowers, sometimes birds' eggs, marbles, boxes of chalk, a packet of toffee or barley sugar, a current bun, a tin trumpet, a whistle, a jam tart, a penny pistol, and so on, till his mother declared she would have to stop taking them in, as they were getting such an accumulation of them. And how is my little fellow soldier? asked Mr. Upton, as he came in one day for his first visit to the little invalid after being downstairs. He'll soon be out of hospital, responded Teddy brightly, and is he still fighting for his captain? I think, sir, Ipes has been very good while I've been ill. He has been lying low, has he? If I mistake not he will have a brush with him yet before long, so be on the lookout. And Teddy found the good rector's words come true. Days came when he tried his mother's patience much, by his fractiousness and restlessness, and he was more often the vanquished than the conqueror. Even Nancy one day remonstrated with him. You're nasty and cross today, no one pleases you. I want to get out. I'm tired of this old kitchen. If you can't get out, you can't. Being cross won't take you out. This logic convinced, but did not comfort. I expect your captain won't come near you when you're cross. And then Teddy burst out crying. I'm not a soldier at all. I don't know how to send fire, and it's all Ipes, and I'm too tired to fight him. Poor little soldier. One above took note of the physical weakness and weariness, and in his tenderness pitied and forgave. CHAPTER X FOUND It was winter time, and Teddy was back at school, full of health and spirits. Yet through all his boyish mirth, the loss of his button was never forgotten. Daily he prayed for it to be found, and his hope and faith in God never failed him. Perhaps God will send it to me for a Christmas surprise. Perhaps I shall find it in my stocking on Christmas morning, he used to say to his mother, and she told him to pray on. He had come in from school one cold day in the beginning of December, and was watching with keen interest the roasting of an apple suspended from a string in front of the fire, when there was a sharp knock at the door, and the footmen from the hall appeared. The master wants you to let the youngster come up with me now and speak to him. What about, questioned Mrs. John, rather alarmed at this summons, and wondering if Teddy had been up to mischief. He won't keep him long. Then, as excited Teddy began pulling on his greatcoat, he whispered something into his mother's ear, which had the effect of completely reassuring her, and bringing a pleased smile about her lips. Teddy was delighted to go up to the hall, and he trodded along by the side of the tall young footmen, keeping up a brisk conversation as he went. I shall never be a footman, he was asserting. I couldn't keep my legs so stiff. You're always like the soldiers when they stand at attention. Don't you never kick your legs out in the kitchen, or have you got stiff knees? I can kick out as much as I like, responded the young man, and rather an offended tone. Don't you think it's nicer to be a soldier? Wouldn't you like to be one? No, their grub is something shocking, and they live like cattle. Teddy would not allow this, and their discussion began to get somewhat heated, when their arrival at the house put an end to it. I say, just tell me, is the Colonel angry? asked Teddy. As looking into the large, brightly lighted hall, he suddenly felt his diminutive size. Not he. Wipe your feet and take your cap off. Teddy stepped in upon the soft rugs almost on tiptoe, and the Colonel himself came out into the hall to meet him. Come in, my little man, and don't be frightened. Teddy held his head erect as he followed the Colonel into a bright, cheery room, where a group of ladies and gentlemen were round the fire and joined the cup of five o'clock tea. Mrs. Graham came forward and gave him a kindly greeting. This is our would-be soldier, said Colonel Graham. The button-boy, as I hear he is called. Some of you remember his story told in our schoolroom to the regiment passing through in the summer, and we weren't surprised to hear of his narrow escape from death from trying to regain his button. But perhaps you've forgotten all about it, youngster? A button isn't worth much sorrow after the first pang of its losses over. Teddy's face was a picture. The blood rushed up to his forehead, his eyes flashed, and with clenched hands he said boldly, Do you think I could ever forget my father's button, sir? I'd rather have it back than anything else in the world, and I'm going to get it back, too. But it's at the bottom of the river, isn't it? I don't know where it is, but God does, and I ask him every day to send it back to me. I'm quite sure he will, and I think it will be this Christmas." The ladies exchanged glances. Fact is stranger than fiction, certainly, said the Colonel. Now, my boy, come here. He was standing on the hearth-rug with his back to the fire, and putting his hand into his pocket, he drew out a small box, and placed it in the child's hand. Open it, and tell me if you recognise the contents. Teddy lifted the lid, and then a gasp, and a cry of ecstasy broke from him. Oh! my button! my own button! Oh, sir! And here the tears welled up in the blue eyes, and, utterly regardless of the place he was in, he flung himself down on the hearth-rug and buried his head, face foremost in his arms. He lay there so still for a moment that Mrs. Graham bent forward to touch him, fearing that the excitement might be too much for him, but he was only trying to hide his emotion from those looking on. In another minute he rose to his feet, and with the face perfectly radiant he turned to the Colonel. It's lovely, sir! It's lovely! The Colonel had had it set in a little gold framework with blue ribbon attached, making it look as much like a metal as possible, and Mrs. Graham now came forward and pinned it to his coat. Now, my boy, I don't think you will ever guess how it came into our possession. The other day I brought home a few fish, and in preparing one of these for our table, our cook discovered your button inside it. I wondered the fish had not come to an untimely end before such an indigestible meal. She told us of it, not recognizing what a valuable treasure she had brought to light, and directly we saw it. We knew it was the redoubtable button that has been the means of causing such interest in our neighbourhood. Teddy listened eagerly. No wonder no one couldn't find it, he said, fingering his adornment proudly. It's like the fish that brought Peter some money once! Then the Colonel turned to one of his friends. Now, Major, what do you think of this youngster? Would you like to take him as a drummer boy into your regiment? The Major scanned the boy from head to foot, then answered emphatically. I wouldn't take a boy with a face like that for a good deal. Why not? asked Mrs. Graham. Because it's the ruination of them. I shall never forget a pretty boy we had once. He was called the Cherub, and had been a chorister, sang divinely. He was only four years in the regiment, and his case was brought to me before he was discharged. He came to us an angel, and departed a finished young blaggard. He drank, stole, and lied to any extent, and was as well versed in vicious sins as any old topper in the regiment. When I see a fresh drummer brought in, I wonder how long he will keep his innocence, and sometimes wish his friends could see the life he is subjected to. I give them a month generally, and then away flies their bloom and all their home training. But, Major Tracy, you are giving us a shocking idea of the morals in the service, said one lady. He shrugged his shoulders. I grant you on the whole, they are better than they were, but the service is no place for highly strong boys like this one. The rougher, harder natures get on best. When they get older, and have sense and strength enough to stick to their principles, then let them enlist. But I have always heard, said Mrs. Graham, that the drummer boys are well looked after now. They have a room to themselves, and the chaplains have classes for them. That may be. I would only ask you to watch a boy as I have, from the start, and see what kind of a man he grows into after having spent most of his early youth in the service. There are exceptions, I know, but precious few as far as my experience goes. Teddy did not understand this conversation, but he gathered from the Major's tone that he did not approve of him. Do you think I'm too small to be a soldier, he asked? The Major laughed. Don't bother your head about your size, he said. You'll grow, and there's plenty of time before you. I don't want to be a drummer, said Teddy, honestly. I'd rather wait and be a proper soldier, a soldier that fights. A capital decision, stick to it, little chap, and you have my hearty approval. You have your father's blood and your veins, said the Colonel, laughing. Meanwhile, I suppose you to try your hand on the village boys to content your fighting propensities. No, said Teddy, a grave look coming into his sunny blue eyes. I don't fight with anybody but Ipes now. He keeps me always busy. Who is Ipes? asked Mrs. Graham. He's my own enemy. Mr. Upton told me about him. You see, I belong to God's army. He takes very little soldiers. I've been enlisted for months and months, and Ipes is just another part of me, the bad part. There was silence on the little company for a minute. Then Major Tracey said with a laugh, what an original little oddity it is! Quite a character! And then Teddy was dismissed. He flew down the avenue home as fast as he could go. Snow was falling, but he heeded it not, and burst into the kitchen a little later in a breathless state of excitement. His mother knew already, so was prepared for his news, but she was not prepared for the handsome adornment now on her boy's coat, and his grandmother and uncle were equally pleased and gratified at the Colonel's kindness. Teddy's prayer of thanksgiving that night touched his mother greatly. Oh, God! I do thank you. I knew you would answer me, for you knew how dreadful it was to live without my button, and you knew how unhappy my heart was about it, though I try to be brave and not talk about it. Please, do help me to take great care of it, and never let me lose it again. The next morning before breakfast Teddy ran off to tell Nancy and to show her the long-lost treasure. She was quite as delighted as he was, but said a few minutes after. Button boy, do you remember telling me you couldn't live without your button? You said you'd pine away and die. Yes, I thought I should, but as soon as I began to pray about it I knew it was coming back, and so I got better. Well, said Nancy with a sigh, I won't ever try to get your button again, but if you were to die before me I wonder if you would let me have it then. I would take great care of it. I meant it to be buried with me, said Teddy considering, but I don't mind altering my mind about it, and if you promise not to give it to anyone else I will let you have it. I promise truly, vowed Nancy, and I told you I wouldn't love you till you gave it to me, but I will now, because I'm trying to be good, and we'll always remember that soldiers and sailors are just as good as each other, they're quite even. Yes, nodded Nancy, sailors and soldiers are quite even, and my father is just as good as your father was. Teddy looked a little bit doubtful at this, but wisely refrained from making any objection to the assertion, and then they parted, Nancy calling out after him, and when you die and I get the button I shall wear it as a brooch. Mother, said Teddy a few days after this, as she was paying him her usual good-night visit, it's a very funny thing, but do you know I used to wish for an enemy so much to fight and carry on with, and now I've got one and have ips to fight with, I'm getting rather tired of him. Is that wicked? I asked Mr Upton today if I couldn't ever get rid of ips, I mean when I am grown up, but he said I never should altogether, but that I could keep him well under so that he wouldn't trouble me so. He does trouble me a lot now. So just must never get tired of fighting, Sunny, and you have your captain to help you. Yes, and I suppose when I get bigger and stronger it will be much easier, won't it? Mother, do you have any fighting? Have you got an enemy like me? Yes, indeed I have, my boy. But you're never beaten, are you? You never do anything wrong. I don't get into mischief and disobey orders, perhaps, Mrs John said smiling, but I have lots of difficulties and intations that you know little about, Sunny, and I am afraid I very often get beaten by the enemy. Teddy pondered over this. When I get to heaven I shan't have to fight with ips, shall I? No, darling, there will be no fighting with sin there. Teddy smiled. Perhaps my captain will think I've been nearly as brave as father if I fight ips hard till I die. There is a verse in the Bible that says, He that ruleth his spirit is better than he that taketh a city. Mother would rather have her little son fight God's battles than be the bravest soldier in the queen's army. But, said Teddy, I mean to do both, and now mother, just before I go to sleep, give me father's button to kiss.