 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildesleeve. Great Gildesleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Now that there's a Kraft salad oil, it's so easy to make perfect homemade French dressing. Kraft has created a superfined oil, and what a difference superfining makes. You can mix the delicious dressing in less than a minute because Kraft salad oil is lighter body for quicker, smoother blending of the ingredients. A little later, I'm going to tell you about some wonderful French dressing recipes you're going to get with Kraft salad oil, so keep on listening. All the breakfast dishes have been cleared away, and the great Gildesleeve and his little family are enjoying that quiet moment of relaxation before launching into a busy day. Leroy, when are you going to finish with that section of the paper? Just a minute, I'm meeting the editorials. You, Leroy? It's an assignment in civics. Oh, school. Telling how little people know about their public officials. Oh? It says, in a poll recently conducted, this newspaper was appalled to discover that 75% of the people could not name the mayor of Summerfield. Well, the mayor of two other girls by no means the most popular of the city officials. Who is? Go on, my boy. Does it say anything in there about the water department? I don't see anything here. Of course they might not mention the water department. The editor's probably sharp shooting at the mayor and some of the more obscure officials. Too bad that none of the other city officials make as good an impression on the public as I did. Oh, here's something about you, uncle. Way down at the bottom. At the bottom? It says, only one person in ten knew the name of the city water commissioner. What? This struck your reporter as most unusual until he realized he couldn't think of it either. Why that? He knows my name. He certainly should, auntie. You've written enough letters to the editor. Yes, I certainly. Well, might as well come to think of it. I've always signed them irate reader. Stuff like that makes an editor think. You got him thinking all right. Listen to this. The fact that so few people know our public officials brings up an interesting question. Aren't our office holders big enough to command respect and attention? Why, George, Leroy, give me that paper. Gosh, it would just get interesting. That editor conducted a phony poll. Everybody knows Throckmorton P. Gildersley, the water commissioner. I don't know, auntie. What do you mean? Well, at my bridge club last week, one of the girls asked me if the fellow who read water meters was my uncle. Charlie Anderson does that. I know, but she didn't. Well, if I were you, I'd play bridge with brighter girls. The kids in my grade know you, uncle. Yeah, they do, Leroy. Yeah. When you turn on a faucet and there's air in the pipes, you know the noise it makes? So? Well, when the kids hear that, they say, there's Leroy's uncle, sound it off again. Oh, my goodness. No, thank you, Bertie. Bertie, wouldn't you say most everybody in town knows me? Yes, sir. Now, in your own circle of friends, wouldn't you say everybody knows who I am? Yes, sir. I was downtown with a girlfriend on my day off and we saw you cross the street. You did? She knew who you were. Yeah, you see, kids. She said, Bertie, there goes that man you worked for. Bertie, didn't she know I'm the water commissioner? Mr. Gildersley, if she wasn't nosy, she didn't ask what you did. No. She just asked how much you paid me. By George, everybody in town is going to know what Throckmorton P. Gildersley does. I'll make that editor eat his words. I'll make him eat his whole newspaper. And I might just step across the street and speak to that gentleman. Gosh, you've already asked three people who he are and they wouldn't even answer you. The lady did. Yeah? What did she say? Very funny. Telling a grown man if he wants to know who he is to go to the police station. Goodbye. I can't believe so few people know I'm the water commissioner. Well, perhaps it's my fault. Maybe I'm too modest. Maybe I've been hiding my light under a bushel. See, here comes the judge. Good morning, judge. Good morning. I'm conducting a poll for the local newspaper. What? Do you know the name of the local water commissioner? Oh, all right, judge, so you read the morning paper. Can I help it if I'm self-effacing? You, Gilder? I go ahead year after year doing my job. And the newspaper editor jumps on me because I'm not a blowhard. Well, he was very unkind. But after all, Gilder, this is the year when politicians catch old billy. Seriously, judge, how can I attract everybody's attention? Let me see. Well, you could go down to the city square and sit on the flagpole. Yes, yes. Judge, I've got to make my name synonymous with water. Well, you might change your name to Throck Morton P. Watersleeve. Judge, please. And you could christen your new name by running and jumping in the reservoir. Judge, I have a suggestion for you. Oh? You go jump in the reservoir. I've only been joshing, you Gilder. I'm feeling my oats today. Feeling your oats? You should be eating them, you old goat. Well, I'm serious about you jumping in the reservoir. Oh, you are. For a long time, you've been wondering about the underground springs that feed the reservoir. You might go down and check the springs for obstructions. It'd make a great publicity story. Yeah, great human interest. Water commissioner goes to bottom of reservoir. Judge, that's 40 feet deep. Well, I know where there's a diver's suit for sale. You do? At the war surplus store. Oh, forget it, Judge. I'm not going down in any diving suit. Well, it's one way of making a splash. The silliest way I ever heard of. There are plenty of dignified ways to get publicity. I wouldn't dream of making a spectacle of myself. By George, I didn't think I'd have to pay so much for a war surplus diving suit. But those underground springs should be checked in the interest of the people of Summerfield. Yeah, while they're putting the suit in the car, I think I'll call Uncle Charlie Anderson at the reservoir. Charlie in my plan. Hello, Charlie Anderson speaking. Hello! Charlie? Hello! Stop saying hello so I can say hello. Oh, somebody there. Yes, your boss. Commissioner Gildersley. Respectful employee. After reading the newspaper, Commissioner, I thought maybe they put an E-Roy in charge. Charlie, the water department has to get some publicity. And I need your help. You need help from somebody, Bob. Now, listen, Charlie. We're going to check the underground springs in the reservoir. And I've already bought the diving suit. Diving suit? Nothing to it, Charlie. I've got the air pump, so all we have to do is... Don't! What? You ain't going to put me into a rubber straight shirt. Charlie, you misunderstand. Well, don't you misunderstand me. If you want somebody to go down there and rub noses in those mud turtles, you better get yourself another boy. Charlie, listen. I'm the one who's going down. I don't need to see that. I'll stop him in PD's and show him my diving suit. You know, I might as well let people know what I'm up to. And the suit and the lead shoes are a little heavy, so I'll just take in the helmet. Say, why don't I wear the helmet? Sure, I'll surprise PD. PD. He's pretty heavy. There. Yeah, I can see him through this little window. But I doubt if he can see me. Yeah, PD won't even know who I am. Oh, Mr. Druggist. Oh, Mr. Gellersley. What can I do for you today? Oh, my goodness. Let me out of this thing. Could you tell it was me through the little window? No, I could tell it was you by your big window. All right, PD. I guess you're wondering what I'm doing with the diving helmet. Well, after eating this morning's paper, you could be carrying a diving helmet to let people know you're the water commissioner. No, PD. What are you going to wear on your head tomorrow? A fire hydrant? PD, I'm not just carrying this thing around to impress people. You don't change. Tomorrow I'm going to put it on and jump in the reservoir. My, my. What are you going to do that for? I'm going to impress people. Yeah, I mean, that newspaper has been a little rough on me, claiming nobody knows me. So I'm diving to the bottom of the reservoir to inspect the underground springs. Yeah, man. I don't think it's in publicity. Well, since it's such a spectacular public service, I thought it wouldn't do any harm to phone the paper and have the photographer out there. Oh, I know. So they'll be covering it, PD. All right, George, after this, not everybody will recognize me. Yeah, they will if you come out. PD, there's nothing dangerous about it when you're wearing a diving suit like this. Mr. Goverstein, where did you get the suit? The war surplus. All right, all right. It has US Navy stamped right on it. I wonder why the Navy didn't want it back. Well, the Navy's been changing the style of its uniforms. PD, you aren't suggesting that something could be wrong with the suit, are you? Well, I'm a cautious man. Just asking a question. Well, nothing's gonna happen. Besides, if they were insulting you with editorials, you'd do something about it, wouldn't you? Well, yes. And don't you agree this is a surefire way to get publicity? Yes. So if you were me, you'd go down to the 40 feet of water, too. Well, I wouldn't say that. Well, I'm going, landlubber. Great Gildus Leave will be back in just a minute. If you take special pride in the salads you serve, Kraft has a wonderful surprise for you at your grocery store. In fact, six wonderful surprises. A tax to every bottle of Kraft salad oil is a folder of recipes for six excitingly different French dressings. These dressings are new and unusual, yet so very easy to make. There's a recipe for cranberry French dressing, a tart and colorful dressing for scoops of cottage cheese. There's a glistening lemon dressing that brings a refreshing tang to fruit salads. And there's chili relish dressing, a spicy topper for tomato and egg slices. Once you try these recipes, you'll discover what a quick and simple thing it is to make your own French dressings. You'll realize, too, how easy it is to vary the dressing to suit the salad. The possibilities for variety are endless. The secret of making perfect French dressings every time is to use Kraft salad oil. Kraft salad oil is the one oil that's superfined to give it a lighter body. It blends better with all the other ingredients the recipe calls for. Tomorrow, find out how easy it is to make your own French dressings that are exactly right for the salad you're serving them with. Tomorrow, get superfined Kraft salad oil. And with it, get the handy folder of six new and delicious recipes. Well, a newspaper poll taken in Summerfield indicated that very few people know who the water commissioner is. So in high-dudgeon, the Great Gilder Sleeve resolved to get himself some publicity. Right now, he's getting varied reactions from his little family. Uncle Mort, are you really going to the bottom of the reservoir in that diving suit? Well, Peavey didn't think so much of it either. It could be this isn't one of my best ideas. I think it's keen. Gosh, I wish I could be down with you. Well, that suit's big enough for both of you. Are you going to try it on, Mr. Gilder Sleeve, or do you think it fits all right? Try it on, Uncle Mort. I know you're going to be sorry if you go through with this. Why don't you call it off? Well, what could happen? Well, any number of things. Your lines could foul and cut off your air supply. Well... Or one of your lead feet could get stuck on the bottom. No way! We should get a Derek to hoist him. He'd get publicity all over the country. No, Leroy, I... Of course it would take time to get a Derek. I can see the headlines. Water Commissioner on bottom for third day. Leroy! We have to dynamite the reservoir. Well, Mr. Gilder, please. That does it. I'll phone the newspaper and call it off. Yes, Leroy? You mean you're going to back out after telling me about this? Why not? Oh, brother, I'd hate to be in your shoes. What do you mean? Well, you and the editor don't get along. Think what he'll print if you're back out now. Well, he'll print if I back it. He'd tear me apart. Yeah, he'll say you're a big coward. Leroy! I can see the paper now. Water Commissioner backs down, afraid to jump in his own reservoir. Leroy, stop reading the headlines. I've been thinking, Mr. Gilder, if a smart man like you might forget about them springs in a case like this. You watch this, Bertie. Why can't you go down a couple of feet and float there? Well, that's an idea. What a phony deal! But, Uncle Mort, even if you just go under the surface, you can get in trouble if the soup doesn't work. Hey, let's get this diving suit and test it for leaks. Leeks? Well, how, Leroy? You get in the suit and we dunk you in the bathtub. Leroy, that's the first sensible suggestion you've come up with all day. Testing this diving suit in the bathtub is a good idea. Because if it leaks, I don't have to go into the reservoir. Well, here goes. Darn, let's choose. This is the first time I ever got in the bathtub not expecting to get wet. Yeah, that's one leg in. If I can just get the other leg in. I'm in. No, it's still dry. Your legs don't seem to leak. Donut, I think I'll slide down in my back and test the top part. I'm not careful with these shoes. I'll kick out the end of the tub. Yeah. Well, no leaks, four and a half. Now I'll test the helmet. You don't need somebody to fasten it on. Leroy! Oh, Leroy! Oh, that boy. Will you step here a minute, Marjorie? Where are you? In the bathtub, testing the suit. Why do you need me? I want to stick my head underwater. Go ahead and stick it underwater. Marjorie, the helmet has to be on me first. Give me a hand. Oh. You're over my head. Easy now. Yeah, there we are. Now, help me fasten the clamps. All right. There, you're clamped. Now, close the little window, Marjorie. Window, I take my cigar out of my mouth. I mustn't forget that out at the reservoir. Fog's up in here in a hurry. That noise downstairs. We'll walk out in the pier. Heavier, heavier. Hope they don't carry me through this pier before I can get my helmet on. Yeah? Boy, let's not be gruesome. You're not worried, are you? Well, yes. It's natural to worry when you do something like this for the first time. Oh, well, it'll probably be your last. Leroy. Can't we? Positively not. Where is that Charlie Anderson? I don't know, but he better show up soon. That photographer up on the dam is getting impatient. Well, I'll just have to hold the presses. There's not a lot of somebody on the air pump. Hey, here comes Mr. Peavey. Oh, I wondered if any of my friends were coming down to see me off. There's quite a few people up on the dam, aren't there? Great. Hello, Peavey. Hi, I'm Mr. Anderson Leroy. Hi. Glad to see you down here, Peavey. I thought you'd appreciate it. I've only closed the store on two occasions. Well, that's all. One was the balloon ascension, and now a balloon descension. You're all right, Peavey. I'm not in the mood for jests. Aren't you a little nervous about going down, Mr. Peavey? Well, if he pumps some helium into that suit, he can go the other way. Yes, yes. Well, what are we waiting for? Here he is. Hi, Uncle Charlie. Hello, Leroy. All the shore that's going to shore. Charlie, where have you been? Commissioner, I had to go get a sedative pill. I'm a little nervous about you going down there. Oh, you are? Yeah. You might come back up. Yeah! Good morning, Mechanics. Charlie, let's get this helmet on. Yeah, in a jiffy. Oh, hello, Miss Peavey. Hello, Mechanics. Commissioner, I see you have a doctor in attendance. All right, Charlie. Clamp on the helmet. OK. Charlie, you got it on backwards. The window should be in front. Well, you're so scared I thought you might not want to see where you're going. I'll turn her around. Charlie, watch it. I have ears in here. You're lucky they're not out here. Helmets clamped on. You wear the photographer. Oh, yes. Goodbye, people. All right, Commissioner. Get ready to jump. Wait a minute, Charlie. Turn on the pump first. Oh, yeah, the pump. Details. Fairly important. You haven't checked the lines, Charlie. I did that this morning for you as a... Contact! Hey, here's something funny. Water seems to have a knock. That sounds mean. Oh, is that all? I thought we might have a little excitement when you get him down below. Charlie, I'm not going all the way down. Who says you're not? I'm not going down. I'm not going down. Who says you're not? I'm just supposed to be down a couple of feet. It's just for publicity, Charlie. I thought you were going down to inspect the springs. Well, now that I'm out here, that doesn't seem so important. Now, Charlie, if you'll just lower me a couple of feet. Underwater. Commissioner, I want no part of sub-diffuse. If you think I'm going to help you flim-flam the public, you can get yourself another boy! What? Charlie! Close your window and push y'all! Charlie! She blows! Mr. Peavey, say hello to the commissioner. Hello, Mr. Jonas Mead. I'm not standing on her. Hey, see anything of those underground springs, commissioner? Well, my tree, the dam was lined with people. And I waved the photographer and stepped boldly to the edge of the pier. And Charlie Anderson pushed him in. Well, I... Leeroy, see if the paper's come yet. Okay, I'll check. I can't wait to read my publicity. Mr. Gilsley, you do beat all. Do I, birdie? Not many men would go into 40 feet of water in a strange diving suit. I thought you were only going down a couple of feet, auntie. Well, some people would have tried to flim-flam the public that way. But I'll have no part of sub-diffuse. Right, George? When I go in the water, I go all the way. I go all in the expense, and I know I worried my little family. But there's one thing, sure. When the newspaper hits the streets, everybody's going to know that Frog Morton P. Gillesley is the water commissioner. Here's the paper, auntie. Yeah, great. Let's see it, my boy. Nothing about page one. Well, the front page is for politics. Mr. Gilsley, baby, that's why you jumped in? Birdie. Yeah, let's see. Is that you? Sure it's me. In the diving suit. You just can't see him with a helmet on. Right, George. When I go out for publicity, I get it. You read it to us, Leroy. Sure. It says, unidentified fat diver, Kovachan reservoir. What? We're pulled. We don't see that editor. Great Gillesley will be right back. All of you who like homemade French dressings know they're only as good as the salad oil that's used to blend the other ingredients. And that's true of your baking, too. When the oil you use is craft salad oil, you're sure of a better salad dressing. You're sure of tender, finer-grained cakes. Craft salad oil is superfined to blend more smoothly and more quickly with other ingredients. Tomorrow, get lighter-bodied craft salad oil. This is Gillesley again. We've been asked by the Red Cross to tell you how you can help the 26,000 families now homeless in the Midwestern flood area. Send your contribution to your local Red Cross chapter. To care for these families during this emergency, we'll take a lot more money than your Red Cross received in this last campaign. So let's all do our share. Send whatever you can to your local Red Cross chapter. And before we leave you, I'd like to say how much my little family and I appreciated all those fine letters you wrote about our Easter program. It may take a little time, but I'm going to answer them all. And Birdie's going to help, aren't you, Birdie? Yes, sir. They were such nice letters. They certainly were. Don't forget the Red Cross. Good night, folks. The Great Gilded Sleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White and is partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Cliff Arquette, Earl Ross, and Dick Lagrange. These are the compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of The Great Gilded Sleeve. What goes into a perfect sandwich? Maybe it's roast beef or savory baked ham. Whatever your favorite, the perfect meat sandwich needs the perfect mustard. Kraft, prepared mustard. With a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. You can take your choice of two kinds of Kraft mustard. Mild Kraft mustard is smooth and delicately spiced. Or if you like your mustard with extra pep, try Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Keep them both on hand and keep everyone in the family happy. Next time, get Kraft, prepared mustard. Next, Groucho Marks presents You Bet Your Life on NBC.