 Up to 15 courts live during this year's Wimbledon Tournament. I said anyone can streak, I'll talk. So the owner next to me said, OK, big mouth, you do it tomorrow. As of 10 round the whole stadium, 65,000 people, put all on their feet screaming and cheering us up. All streakers want to streak Wimbledon. It's probably the finest tournament to streak. John Donnell did it again. Mark, how are you, mate? I'm top of the board into you, Chris. Hey, you're in sunny Spain. I'm envious. Yeah, I mean, it's like a heat wave over here, man. It's so hot. I mean, I love the heat, but I mean, sometimes it's just too hot, do you know what I mean? Mark, I'm conscious here. I want to dive straight in with a streak in, and then we'll backshot and talk the other stuff. But how does that come around? What point in your life do you think, do you know what, I'm going to take all my clothes off, run across that rugby picture, football picture? Well, I tell you what, man, obviously the first time alcohol had a lot to do with it. Big time. I used to live in Hong Kong, worked in a bar, and the rugby sevens was on Saturday, Sunday events, two days. So I'm pissed at the bar on the Saturday nights with the owner. And all these guys came in and said, talking about a girl who's street. So because I'm pissed, I went, so if you said anyone can streak, I'll talk. So the owner next to me said, OK, big mouth, you do it tomorrow. Yeah, go on. But it was able to talk, of course, there was no intentions whatsoever. So eventually anyway, in the morning, they told everyone in the pub I was going to do it. A guy bangs on me door. I didn't get in till 4 a.m. pissed as a fart. And my coat and my toast on the couch, and this guy's banging on my apartment door. I said, what's going on? What's going on? I'm going to sevens. I said, I'm not going anywhere. That was just ale talk. I was just talking shit. He said, no, we're going to sevens. Open the door. I'm going to kick it in. So I opened the door and I still dressed from the light before on the couch. Just grabbed hold of me through me in the elevator. Straight to a waiting taxi. Straight to Hong Kong Stadium. I'm like, what's going on here? I was totally out of it. Go to the stadium straight to the bar. Let's have a beer. First one made me feel worse. Second one, a little bit better. Third one, OK. I'm on just a normal level now. I'm a bit even. Right, let's have a look. I hadn't even looked into the stadium. So I'm going to put my head in. One of the first things to show was a shit fella with a chicken swinging it round his head. I'm thinking, I'm going in. I think it's just like a football game back home in the UK. Everyone's just sitting down and, you know, watching the game. It was a carnival, Chris. It was party atmosphere. I got, wow, I felt the energy. Right, let's get this done. Let's do it now. So I've walked down the main stand, sat at the bottom, took me clothes off. The old blacks were playing South Africa, the spring box at the time. So I've ran on backwards, bought my kids, waved to everyone that was in main stands. OK, I've done it. It was a tin round. It was the ball. But my mind just said, get that. So as I've picked up the ball, ran a whole length of the field, scored a try between the posts. Chris, I'd never, at that moment, changed my life forever. As I've turned around the whole stadium, 65,000 people were all on their feet screaming and cheering. And I was like, OK, man, what's going on here? I'm just going to try. It's the old blacks. So next thing, I'm running back to my seat. And as I'm running, a couple of the old blacks give me a little clap. Crowd are going nuts. So I climbed over the barrier again. I've gone, shit and bollocks, make it here, man. So I put my hand over my little fella and he is a little fella. And I'm going, wow, he's coming over and giving me kisses and all these guys pouring beer over my head. I thought, wow, this is great. So what the hell do you know what I mean? I'm making this a day I was born. So what the hell? And as I'm stood there, this policeman could stop British rules of English. The policeman was walking along and he's giving me the motion. Go on, I'm giving you a chance to go here. And I'm shaking my head going over. I'm staying here. He's going, no, go. No, man. So he's going to hold me anyway eventually. And that is taking me off. He said, I'll have to throw you out. The whole stadium, all at once, was going, leave him alone. Leave him alone. So he's got me to the gate and he's going to throw you out. If you're coming again, I'm going to rest here. He said, no, don't be silly. As I'm going out, some fella slipped me a pass. So I've come straight up wanting to install coming the other. John Donnelly did it again. Brilliant. Brilliant. It was crazy. What year was this? 1993. And what time did you leave Honkers? Well, I was there for about a year. Then I came home. Went back again a couple of times for a few months at a time. I had things going on back home. So, yeah, back off and on. Two years, nearly all in all, I was in Hong Kong. But that first year, changed my life. Let me realise I couldn't be who I want to be. And I found a calling, if you like, in life, to cheer people up in the craziest, silliest way. Great one. 1993. Do you remember the big crush or was that just after? That was just before you were there, I think? Probably. But I don't think anyone... It was in Langkwai Fong when there was 21 people crushed to death one night. I think it meant a crush. No one was to be before me then, man. Yeah, that was my first trip to Hong Kong. And I was in Mad Dogs in Langkwai Fong. Oh, wow. And outside in the street or one street over, there was all these dead people and ambulances. And I was just wondering about... Was it New Year's Eve? Yeah, New Year's Eve, yeah. Yeah, I've been told about it. Yeah, I wasn't there then, no, not at all. Yeah. But I actually moved there in 1995, so we might have been there at the same time. Possibly, yeah. In 1997, to do the handover. Yeah, I came back in 1996, so... What bar was it you worked in? The bars? Well, the first one was in Wanshai, Joe Bananas. Check. Yeah, it's over. And in Langkwai Fong, Yeltsin. Yeltsin, yeah. Yeltsin, yeah, that's where the owner told me to go on a day to do it tomorrow. I was waking at the time, at the 7s. My God, yeah. I was the doorman on Joe Bananas until they sacked me. I think they liked sacking people in that place, so... Yeah, one of my friends was the doorman on Joe Bananas. Would I know him? Jimmy Griffin from Magol in Liverpool. Small stocky boy, stocky guy. Yeah, I think the name seems to have been floating around in our sort of circle. Yeah, I hate them. Yeah, one. And here's the thing, Mark, right? Okay. I had a run-in with the Hong Kong police in a stadium. I was actually waiting to go for a doorman interview. It was for Rick's Cafe, right? Rick's, right, okay. And I got there early, so I went to wait... Do you remember the football stadium in Wanchai? The little... Yeah, the small one, yeah. Yeah, so I went and sat in the stands, and I was just watching the lads play football. I don't know who it was. Two coppers patrolled in Hong Kong Chinese, and they just looked at me and went, and it's just that thing, if you've been in Hong Kong and you know that difference of mentality, that kind of, oh, here's a guy on his own. He must be doing something wrong, that kind of... What was your persona like? You obviously just shifted into the game. I was just waiting to go for a job interview, so... You know, but the point is, they took me in the toilets. Basically, they wanted to strip-search me, and I... But because I had, let's just say, I had stuff to hide on me, so I knew they weren't going to find it. So I just went along with it, and I'm like... Because 12 years in a Chinese prison is not what you... And that's what expats were getting at the time for as little as one ecstasy pill, right? And so I had a little bit more than that, and so I just went along with it. I'm like, yeah, sure, because I knew that then they're going to go, okay, go now, right? But to take it back to your situation, it's quite... I know it was under British rule at the time, but it's still quite a risky place to be doing something that is so un-Chinese. Totally naked. But the first, twice it did, there would be sevens on the Sunday. I mean, Yeltsin's that night treated like a bloody hero more of yet. And an English reporter came in, and I knew him from back home. He said, Mark, he said, fucking hell, that was fantastic. There's a game on Tuesday, two days later, South China playing Instant Dict, Instant District, I think there's a Monkhawk Stadium or whatever it was. He said, do that, I'm on the boards, Chris. I went, yeah, go on, man. So me and Jimmy did the doorman from Joe Bananas, we went. Blagged the fella on the door that we knew one of the players supposed to have left tickets for us, and he let us in. And Chris had gone in, expected it to be the same as the sevens. It was 25,000 Chinese, all shit based, there was not a single ounce of atmosphere in the whole stadium. I said to Jimmy, I don't like this, man. He said, well, don't do it. I said, no, man, I'm here now. I said, I'm going to do it. So let's see. So as the teams are coming off, first half, I've ran down the stairs. There's a Chinese guy at the bottom trying to stop me. I just dodged him. Got in the middle of the penalty spots, and he let me back, ripped all my clothes off, stood up, bollock naked, and started to run. It was like tumbleweed going across the pitch, mate. There wasn't a single sound. And as I'm running, I'm thinking, shit, this isn't going down too well, man. So I've got a length of the pitch, threw myself on the goal, hit the base and go, stood up, surrounded by photographers, so I'm doing silly poses. And it was all Chinese, police, no English police. And they just stood there thinking, what the fuck's going on? So I went and saw this. So I took off to do another length of the pitch, and that's when they called out. All of them came at me from every part. This was when the Chinese started to rise, because I'm taking a piss out of there, the people who were subduing them. And one of them tried to rub me, and I dodged towards the side, he's gone flying in the grass. The Chinese started to become animated now, the crowd. So I've got the other length of the pitch, threw myself in the goal. I've got like seven or eight Chinese police around me, and one shouted in my face, you crazy, you crazy, you have big penis. I said, no man, I said, just have a look at the size of that, no. So they made a cordon around me, and I put my hand on the shoulder of the guy in front, and he marched off with me in the middle. And the crowd, the look on the crowd, from before I went on to that moment, it was like a cartoon, the whole situation. But one of them as he marched off, so accidentally, took me off, and I'm in the charging room in the stadium now. So I'm sitting there, and every time I get nicked, or get grabbed afterwards, always passive, never antagonised, okay, because I've done me thing by then, do you know what I mean? So, okay, no problem, no problem. And he came screaming in my face in Chinese, then walked away and left for each other. Oh, shit, what's going on here, man? So he put me in a van, took me to the police station, and he went to put me in a cell, no, no, no, no, no cell, in here. He just sucked me in the room, and he said, why you do this? Why? I said, because this one to make the great Chinese people laugh. He looked at me and said, oh, oh, oh, very good, we enjoy, very good. So the next thing, he was chatting away like mates. And the next thing he said, right, where you at? It's a long story short, I thought I was working in Yeltsin's. He said, okay, after this, me, my friend, we couldn't find you. I said, why? Now we have to drink. So they were buzzing, do you know what I mean? Eventually I had to go to court. Got arrested. Sorry, got charged. And it was an English judge. He said, I'm sick of these streets. We had two on Sunday. Now I've got you today. It was me both times on the Sunday, man. Yeah, but he bowed me over and said, if you come here again in front of me in the next 12 months, you're going to prison. And I did the sevens again the following year, with two days left on me. We bound over. And when I jumped on the score, the tri-games, the old blacks again, then converted it. I've run back to me seats in the black watch with security. One of the girls told me, he said, you want to get Nick, mate? I said, yeah. Mate, I've got two days left on this bound over. He said, I don't give a shit. You're getting it. He's called the police over the Chinese police. I said, can I put my clothes on? He went, yes. So as he turned the back, I just bombed it, made the leg dish, straight through the crowd, out the stadium, and gone. So I was lucky to go away, wasn't I? Had you grabbed your clothes before you legged it? I was putting them on. So I had my shorts on. So I had my trainees on. I just grabbed my T-shirt and just bombed it. See, the way my mind works is, I'll be worried after I've done my street and I come back like my clothes weren't there. I've got my meds in there. What happens then? Well, you just have to get on with it. Don't do this part of the adventure. Yeah, but I mean, how do you get home? Or are you always arrested? I went to do his, I'll try and do this show because each story's got a good bit to it, you know what I mean? But I've done a film thing with these Canadians. You were filming some guy called Jimmy Jump in Spain. He copies me, but he jumps on his clothes and he ruins games. He goes on during the match or do whatever the tournament is. He's copying me, but a different game, but he's ruining it. So they said we're filming him on Sunday at the Galacticos game in the Bernabao Real Madrid versus Barcelona. So they left me on the Friday. They said, well, don't tell them about the timing and everything. So we went and saw this. So I jumped on a plane. All they had on was my ripoff clothes, a shirt, my passport, my ATM card, and my bag. My little man bag. He turns up, gets a ticket for the game. Nobody knows him there. Watching the game. He jumps on just before kickoff. So now I know, I've told him, he lied to me. So hard time comes before kickoff. I'm doing the thing. I've got past security. I jumped on, ripped my clothes off on the pitch. And I'm legging it. And I don't lend to the pitch. So I got jumped. Police station. So I'm sitting there naked. I said, Senor, my clothes, no clothes. I said, Senor, blanket. It's cold. No blanket. I'm sitting on a wooden bench. By the main doors were all the police coming to the police station. Three, four hours from sat there. Senor, blanket, no blanket. So about two o'clock in the morning, he went, you go. I didn't spoke to any police or nothing. He just said, you go. I'm bollocks naked. I thought it's a wind up, man. So I've walked out the police station. Started walking up the streets, expecting one of them to call me back. Nothing. So I've walked back in the police station. Senor, my clothes, your clothes, they go. What's happened? When I jumped on the pitch, ripped my clothes off. Securities picked them up, threw them in the crowd. My phone, my passport, my money, my ATM card, everything I had gone. So now I'm in the middle of Madrid. Two o'clock in the morning, bollocks naked. What do you do? Fuck it, go for a run, man. Cold. So I just run into the streets of Madrid. I've no clue where I'm going or anything. And I need to mention this guy. He said, you know what? In Spain, you show every bit of it. On TV game, the football matches would have jumped on every step until you can't see me no more. In the UK, obviously nothing. He said, oh, is that for you? I said, the football is that for you? I said, yes. Wow. Fantastic. So he's stopped his taxi. He said, where you go? I said, I've got no idea. I'm just running. So I was like, hang on. The guy gave me a ticket. It was in the Holiday Inn by the Bernabaugh. I stopped the taxi, gave him his last 20 euro. Told the taxi driver what was going on and he was laughing his head off. Drove me to the Holiday Inn. Goes in. The guy gave me his day and everyone in the bar was on the telly. I walked in bollocks naked. The manager comes out. I had to wait outside while the guy got a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Had a baby. Got me head down in the hotel. Went to the airport the next day and reported my passport stolen at the game, which it was. He gave me a piece of paper to get on the plane with. I was doing work the next day and all I had to sit around and say, what did you do the weekend? I went and said, I'm not much. Just the same old, same old. What is it? When anything like this happens at a sporting event, you get some people just like they're just laughing and completely benign. But then you get these have-a-go heroes that think they think they've got the right to physically assault you. Were they the ones with the power thing going on in the head? Isn't it? The security is over about. Yeah. Well, I've been beaten a few times, but twice the most severe beatings I've had with all my life. I've been laughed at, man United's ground. Their security is notorious for treating even their own fans violently. So the first time I've jumped on my new game, and I was fitter then. One guy chased me, left him for dust. Alex Ferguson was laughing his tits off. Peter Schmeichel was in goal. He was buzzing his head off. So I'm leaving this fella for dust. I stood in the middle of the pitch. Went, get your mates on. Waste thing I said, mate. There's five or six of them come on then, cornered me. I've got tattoos. I've got Thailand. I've got Hong Kong. He said, where's he from? He said, look, he's foreign. He's got tattoos. I thought, that's good. If they know I'm a scouter, they'll have a reason to have a go at me. So it took me off down these mazes of tunnels and old traffic beating the shit out of me, mate. Bang on my head again. Running me head into a wall. Kidney punches, uppercuts and all the rest of it. And threw me on the floor. I'm standing. I'm waiting for the kicks now. He said, put this on. Give me a high vis. Took me to the police little charging. They got inside old traffic. And I've walked in. As soon as I crossed that threshold, that sanctuary. So now they're all outside. Now I'm two feet away from them. Some of the copies of name and address. To Mark Roberts, Liverpool. He then said, fucking scouter. I just turned around and looked in the lens. Yeah. The police won't walk me out. A few months later, there's a rugby World Cup final on old traffic. I thought, I've got to do it. So I've gone on my own again. Jumped on. Left him for dust. Rugby tattoo. Rugby tattoo. I thought, I've got to do it. So I've gone on my own again. Jumped on. Left him for dust. Rugby tattoo. I'm trying to rugby tattoo me. Dodging them and everything. Now they know who I am. Got old me. Thinking, funny do you scouts? Give me a beating. And the police just turned the backs. The beat me, taking me to this room, as they took me to the room. They threw me in across a table. So I stood up. And I thought, wow, there's a room. Just full of security. And the head of security walked in. Came over. Bang. Give me a dig. Didn't go down. Still a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit and the head of security walked in, came over, bang, give me a dig, didn't go down. Still a bit of few stars on that. So I can't really tell you because I'm in a room full of security. As he's gone to hit me again, police walked in, took me off to the charge room and this guy walking behind me. I said, listen, it's nothing to do with Man United and Scouts there. I said, I didn't feel two weeks ago against Chelsea and scored the goal. So I'm doing it everywhere. He said, you come back here again. It's personal. So the cop had said to me, I told the police when I got to the end, I don't feel you've been, what happened that I don't feel? I just said, just let me go. I was on bail, I got charged. So they let you go. We're going to let you go. Just threw me out. But the fella said, we have to go up the gate. I warned you, don't come back here again. I thought, I'll start it. Mate, I've done you twice. Don't need to do it again. Did you ever end up serving any jail time? Not really. It's mostly a few hours in the cells or overnight. When I did the Super Bowl, I was in the cage a day and a night. I suppose that was one of the more worrying times because it was just 30 lunatics and I'm walked in as somebody referee. The Super Bowl. Yeah, Texas in Texas. Yeah. Oh, my God. Well, I've done every look till now up to this point. How was that? How was that? Because that's a very different audience again, isn't it? Big time. Quite conservative, if we can say. Well, yeah. And especially in Texas, where it's a really Bible Belt state, isn't it, you know? But I mean, that was, I tried the year before in San Diego, wasn't prepared, got a promise to take it. When it turned up, it went to 10 times the price. So that went by the by. And so in the meantime, I thought, wow, yeah. The Super Bowl is in Texas. So what I did, it was like military planning, mate. I had someone to go to the stadium in Houston, take the pictures of security during a normal game so I can judge it. And the stadium was half empty. Security was intense. Oh, wow. I thought, OK, well, I can see what that's going to be. So Super Bowl is going to be 10 times as bad. I thought, how am I going to get to my seat to the middle of the game, middle of the field? I thought, fuck it, I'll go on as a ref. So we wrote to the NFL. So I'm trying to be an American referee in the UK, but can't get uniforms anywhere. He sent me two uniforms, the NFL did. So I took one to a seamstress, a lady with all the dress repairs and everything. Who knows exactly what I'd do? I've got to take the whole thing apart, sew the top to the bottom and put it all back together again with the Velcro. Right, so she's done it all. The next day, I go and pick it up. So I've got it home and I've got it on camera. I've put the uniform on. I've got to let's see how this is going to go, man. Chris, immediately the whole lock came off in a second. Oh, come on, let's have it. But then it's OK, I've got that sorted. We had ticket sorted on the front row, 50 yard line. When you do the kickoff, I thought, OK, so now the intensity is coming to me, because this is on. And now the worry, what's going to happen to me when I jump on the field? Because these guys are so big, I thought, OK, one of them might want to try and clothesline me. You know, knock me down, it might slap me neck. OK, one of them might want to try and give me a dig. Fair enough, I can take a dig. But my worst fear was all of them jumping on me at the same time as you had a big pile on. Had I suffocated, I wouldn't have. I don't think I got through that. And now I started worrying to bits. And there's just no way to rely on me to, I'm not being, what's the word, small about it? It was not long after 9-11. So I thought, there's going to be snipers on the roof, just in case anything going on. It's gospel truth, Chris. I thought, well, I'm going to make it. So they know I'm going to be on arm. To try and take a milk, they might try and shoot me in the leg. I thought, OK, all right, I'll take that. To do the Super Bowl, the biggest events in the world. So I'll not be literally, you know, don't get me wrong. I thought, yeah, this is how far I was prepared to go. But it was the big jump on top of me that I was really scared about. So I've worried about it constantly because it's a whole year of planning. And the more I worried about it, the more I was pulling away. And at the end I had to say, don't worry about it anymore. You go or you don't. No, I'm going. So that morning when I'm leaving home, I'm going to be kids, big, massive hoax, man, because I didn't know what the repercussions are going to be. One of you. So once I'm on the plane, that's it. No more worry to the back of my head. Gone the game, took a friend and said to him, if it's going to be that intense when we're in, and I can't get a clear line to run on, you go further down the wall, drop your phone, go to climb the wall to divert security to you. So I've got a clear path to run on. You went, I want to be positive. I want to get arrested with you. I said, no, I don't, you're getting nicked, man. So then we come, we go in, we're sitting there, front row, security, police, security, it was ringed. There was one guy right in my path, stood. We were, I was sat there for four hours before my time to go on was. He didn't move on, so he didn't go for a piss, nothing rigid. I said to make me make to listen. If he doesn't move coming that time, you take your phone, he said, okay. So I'm, I'm joining in with everyone. You've got to look just like any next punter. But all the time I'm just clocking everything that made me heart beat like, man, my stomach's chained to bits. And there was a little, little, little elements of panic starting to set in a little bit, but I had to stand back and half time come from at the back, I'm like, whew. Trying to calm down myself. In the meantime, I didn't know, Janet Jackson just got a tit out on stage just in Timberlake, that was the same game. Right, I didn't know, but I'm going, whew, whew, whew. Okay, whew. So the show's gone off, I've walked down to him and he's trying to look, well, I've looked calm, just like normal, sat down. The guys, the teams have come on the balls on the 50 yard line, the guy's still there, said to me, go and drop your phone now. Chris, in the whole four hours, man, I had a light shining on my head. She said to me, go and drop your phone. This guy walked, that spoke to another security guard further down the line. The only time I needed to go, he went. He said, make sure I'm on my own, close it off. I'm a referee, man. Drop the wall and all the people around the fence, around the field, excuse me, man, excuse me, man, the only doctor way. Right in the middle of the field, just before the guys, about to go and kick the ball. Whoa! They went, what's so great, man? I went, pshh, fuck all, man. He started dancing, he's dancing on the ball, man. I thought, wow, yeah, go on. Another place they're going, what's the fucking referee doing, man? I thought the referee's gone round the bend. So I'm looking at all the police, the crowd know what's going on, the crowd are going nuts, the police going, what's going on? Total confusion. The referee's lost his mind and he's dancing naked around the ball. I'm on there for the whole minute. All these mad moves are going on. Next thing, they're all onto it. Every policeman's come at me to chase. Apart from the little performance, the chase is what everyone wants to see. Come on, then, so I'm running. As I'm running, the crowd, the noise was just going, ridiculous, mate. These players come running in from the side, shoulder charge me to the ground. I've got maybe 15, 20 people on top of me, face pushed in the grass, I'm getting handcuffed behind me back. As long as I can go, man. I've just done the fucking Super Bowl, man. One of all these people on top of me, handcuffed me, I did it, man, do you know what I mean? It took me off the police, loved it, man. What punishment did you get for that? I pleaded not guilty. I got the best lawyer in Texas. He raised Los Haynes, he was like the number one lawyer in Texas. He said, no, there's no one told you, you couldn't go on the field. There's no signs, there's no notifications, no speakers. Goes to trial and there's prosecution trying to give me six months in prison. In Texas, I thought I was shitting myself. And all the TV cameras there, one of you. And our argument was, you know, nobody told me I couldn't go on. So I took the Fifth Amendment, I'm not taking the stand, man, you prove my guilt. And they all go out to deliberate. I said to the TV guy, one of the cameraman, what you reckon he went, if no one looks at you when you come back, it's guilty. So if they've all come back in, not one look. If you've been found guilty, Mr. Roberts, say you come back tomorrow for a sentence. Well, I chose sentence by jury rather than the judge, but you can do over there. Come back in, same thing again. Come out, cameraman said, if nobody looks at you, go to jail, man. They come in and I thought, come on, just give me a little sly look. Well, hand it to $1,000 fine. $1,000, man. I had to pay them a million. Of course, raise your hand immediately. Yeah, yeah, $1,000 to do the Super Bowl. Is it, is there some sort of club then? Do you chat with other streakers or keep in touch? No, well, I've done many loads of chat shows over the while over the years, I've met quite a few. And every single one, people in the street, they do it once, just for that crazy moment in time. And every one of them has said, you'll never forget that moment. It's one of the best moments in their life because it's literally ultimate freedom for a minute. You know, you freeze a bit and the next thing you know, you lose your freedom completely when you get arrested and get locked up. But for that moment, everyone, I've never met anyone who regretted what they did. Have you ever met Erica Rowe? Yes, I have. On the Vanessa Fells Chat Show. My gosh, she made a name for herself, didn't she? Can we say, for our younger friends watching, Erica Rowe was about 25 years ago now, if not 30, and let's just say she was big and bouncy. Very, and still was, still is. Yes, I think she's probably been the biggest name, isn't she, in Streaking? It's certainly in the UK. Well, she got so many deals, because nobody'd seen anything like it, do you know what I mean? I was just saying, she was a big girl and the whole demeanor when she went on, she was laughing her head off, she had a cigarette hanging on the corner of her mouth. She was joyous and she did well out a bit, do you know what I mean? But yeah, good, you know, good on her. There was a guy called, there was a guy called Chris O'Brien. His photograph was very, very famous. It was before Erica. I think it was a Twickenham again. It was a picture of him. He had a long hair and a beard and he looked like Jesus. He's got his arms out as a policeman with his helmet covering his mickey. It's a very famous photograph, but he always said he regrets it to this day because it affected his work, affected his relationship, but it was just a moment of madness, as he said. But I mean, it's iconic, that photograph of him now, man. Yeah. Tell me about this advert, then, that I saw the other day. That was you in it, wasn't it? Yeah, the Danish one. Yeah, narrating the advert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was for a Danish TV channel advertising their coverage of Wimbledon this year. And they chose me to advertise their TV channel because I've done Wimbledon twice, dude. Oh, you've actually done Wimbledon? Yeah, I did the Men's Final. Yeah, I did the Summersault over the net. Yeah, man. This is where my memory is possibly failing me, or I just simply didn't watch it. But I don't remember a big holler-balloo about it. Was it... 2002, I think, late in Hewitt and Madalmian or something like that, they weren't too very well-known, popular figures at the time. But there was footage out there, and it's not bad. It's a good performance, if I don't mind saying so myself. See, I don't just run on and wave. I like to do something that makes people laugh. And then once it doesn't be performance, and then the chase, so there's different elements to think to what I do, do you know what I mean? And yeah, that was a pretty good one. Did you run on as they called for New Balls, please? Well, no, I did that in Roland Garros, the final, I did New Balls, yeah. I went back to choose the moments when to go on because there was a rain break. And as they're coming back on, it was the only time, it was an opportunity for me to get past security, so I just went then, do you know what I mean? Gosh, I'll try and put some of that advert in our podcast. Can't use too much of it, because it's obviously not our material, but... Well, the streaking footage, any streaks that you see on it, they're mine. Ah, okay. You can use any of them, the actual streaking, so what on the other hand, all the others are actors, pretending to just about to go on, but when you see the actual streaks, every one of them is me. Wow. So you can use any of them if you want, Mum. And have you ever been paid for this? Do you get paid for the interviews that you do? No, not really, you're paying me 12 grand, aren't you? No. Well, it was actually going to be 30, but if you're a cheap seat, mate, let's go for, call it eight, shall we? No, I mean, after the Rimbledon, it made news in the States, and I got an email from this company, well, it was from a middleman. He said, listen, we've seen what you've done. If you run on, you pick any events in the world that you want to do. Go on with our name on your chest, we'll pay for your flights, pay for this, that, pay for everything, and get your good ores. And these are the ones who got me the front row tickets for the Super Bowl. So it wasn't for them. I mean, I don't want to appear to be set it out because I'm not, but they gave me an opportunity to go to places that I wouldn't normally be able to go to. The ticket's ridiculous, 15 grand for two tickets for the Super Bowl, and the expenses and everything else, the best lawyer in Texas. So I'm thankful for them, but the story behind them is, when I failed in San Diego the year before Texas, they got in touch and said, listen, we've got tickets for the biggest thing in America, man. Because if you hit the stage, you have to hit the top because you might get another chance to do anything else at all. They said, what is it? He said, we've got tickets for the Oscars. So what do you mean? He said, we've got two tickets, you can go straight to Oscars, man. I said, no. I said, that's not the biggest thing in the States. He said, it's almost, the Oscars are the Super Bowl. He says, you can't do the Super Bowl, man. I said, why not? He said, it's never been done, can't be done. He says, that's right, you get me tickets and I'll show you, it can be done. And I did it in style and he was just, let's just say you were quite happy. Their traffic went up 400% after the Super Bowl. So, yeah, good job. What does the future hold, mate? What's next on the agenda? Well, I was in Hungary a few months ago this year with the, you know, the pandemic and I thought, I want to do something while it's intense. It was the Super Cup, the winners of the Champions League final and the Europa League final. So I've gone on my own to have two negative tests to get in. They can only stay 72 hours. So I've gone the game, dressed as a referee. No, another referee's uniform, Velcro. I'm in a stage, okay? Security's over there. The first five rows are covered into our polling so nobody can sit there. And there's a 10-foot, maybe 12-foot drop over the barrier. So it's okay. So my time's just before kickoff second half. I thought, well, if I get over these seats, okay, no problem. He's not going to come near me by then. Just before the kickoff second half, I've gone over the tall pool and got my foot jammed in one of the seats. So I'm struggling to pull it out. He's seen me. So by the time I've got to the barrier, climbing over, he's grabbed my arm. So the next thing I'm struggling to pull the arm off him, by the time I've done it, got to the floor. Security on the floor, I've seen what's happening, grabbed hold of me, took me off. But I'm dressed, put me in three jails. The third one was like a bootcamp. I thought, what the hell's going on here, man? It was intense. But I thought, I've done that wrong. Because I've done is drop a wall. I wasn't naked, I'm still dressed. But in this bootcamp, right now, he strips at you. I thought, shit, okay. So I had an interpreter, she said, he wants to know if you have any underwear on before you get undressed as a Jess, but my underwear is joke. So the location told him the women had to leave the room. So just me, the bull, and his mate, top off. So I took my top off and written across my chest. I've got, lock this down. Cause it's all locked down. So I looked me back, I've got peace and love. Right now, the shorts, I've took my shorts off. I thought, here we go. I had an elephant told me, nob, with a mask on. He went, what is that? I said, is it an elephant? Ah, no COVID. Cause I had a mask across the elephant's trunk. Yeah, but then he did all that and then he made me do the frisk against the wall. But he's put me wrists. That went into my hands against the wall. He wrists that way. So if I, it'll be funny, he just pushes me back and my wrists are gonna snap over of you. So no, if he's doing a proper, not nice strip search, mate. Locks me up in a cell, so I'm in a cell for a while. And after that, I don't know, a day or so, you go thought over. So I was going down to get me stuff. The inhibitor said, no, no, no, no. Now you go on trial. Well, I've been in three gels. In here for a while. Trial goes to the courtroom. What can happen? I said, no, no, maybe jail. I thought, wow, she said, you go against Hungarian law. You'll go against our government. I've only dropped a friggin wall, man. So anyway, long story short, eventually found me 80 quid, two years probation in Hungary. So I thought, you leave Hungary immediately, but I thought you'd miss me flight home. So I got a flight to Spain, stayed here for a few days and then went home. I got a letter saying, if you'd have done what you're going to do, of what it basically said, minimum one year, one month, eight, 15 days in jail. If it had got me kicked off, I'd have done the two years, man. Do me one favor. Whatever you want. Please don't ever streak in Thailand. No, I've done a full moon party in Copenhagen. Yeah, so have I, funny enough. And in the morning, right, this is what a lot of tourists don't realize. If you've got your wits about you at that part and you look around, it's so many undercover police there. 100%. Yeah. And they're looking for gullible naive Westerners that have taken gear with them and they can pat them down and they can either take them to the cash point, make them draw all their money out. And if they can't do that, then they put bang you up, awaiting charges. And that's not the place you want to be charged with that kind of offence. But the thing is their sense of face is so strong. I reckon if you was to streak there, they would just take that as the ultimate insult against their country. And they would just, I think you'd probably end up doing a lot of time for it as well. Well, as I say, I did the full moon party as the sun's coming up around the length of the beach with the, you know, everyone gets painted in the luminous paint. All into the beach, Bonnack and I did with this luminous paint on. And thankfully, as you said, nobody got onto me. Yes. Gosh. Yeah. There's some countries you just don't even dare make like Muslim countries and stuff like that because it's just, and I don't want to offend anybody because what I do is what making people laugh. So if I look to think everything through before they even go anyway, when I come up with a plan and has to be as pure as possible, all about form, all about uplifting. And if it's not, I don't even go there, mate. Yeah. Got you. Mark, listen, you've been absolutely wonderful. As you have, sir. Yeah. Stay on the line so I can just thank you. Stay on the line. Stay on the, stay on the Zoom so I can thank you properly. But for the purposes of the podcast, if I just, just please be careful. Yeah, 100%. So friends at home. Sorry, say again. I've got a good lawyer. Yes. Friends at home, I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have. If you can like and subscribe. That'd be wonderful. Please do, everybody. This man is a diamond. There you go.