 Tina Fey returns to her beloved and iconic classic Mean Girls. By making a 2024 hybrid Frankenstein's monster pile of crap combining the stage play with that original and I had to see it because I hate myself. Because I wanna experience torture. Because I wanna keep digging in the mud with these stupid, soulless, cash-grabby pieces of crap and here we are with a review of Mean Girls 2024. I can't wait to start. Let me first say I love Tina Fey. 30 Rock is one of my favorite sitcoms. It's a top 10 for sure. It's brilliant. Her writing is great. I love her performance and some of the SNL stuff she's done. She's great in the first Mean Girls as the teacher and now she's back again as the same teacher and so is Tim Meadows and that's about it. Why isn't Amy Poehler the mom again? Was that too much to ask? They're like best friends in real life. Who cares? I'm actually glad Amy Poehler didn't come back because this movie is garbage and I wanna say for the record I love the original Mean Girls and yeah I'm going to be pitting this against that one because why wouldn't I? Should I pretend the original? This understands that it exists. This is well aware. It makes several comments. It updates some of the jokes to be more modern but also be like yep we kind of went there before. Alright you might not hate this okay? If you're a big Broadway fan, if you like the Mean Girls play or whatever they call these things I don't know you might love this because it's a musical. There's singing, there's dancing. After all Miss there is Francine and there's lots of songs and I will say a good chunk of them are fun and catchy although they undercut them a lot by stopping the performances 25 to 35% of the way through and then having dialogue for a while and then going back to it for a second. Most of the songs in this movie feel like they were cut way down like there was a lot more to do but they decided not to do it. The movie already feels long enough already. It's two hours too long for a comedy. I like them right around an hour and a half and I know the original Mean Girls is pushing a little too long too. The characters are just trash in this okay? They are terrible in this and it's not the fault of the actors. They're doing what they can. The only one that's actually decent is the main character Katie. She looks good. She sings well. She plays the performance fine. Just kind of a fish out of water type of individual and that's good. She's good at it. She reminds me a lot a stupid amount to Amy Adams. I don't know if there's if the relatives if she kind of did some sort of a freaky Friday with Amy Adams at some point recently and took her face and her body but made it a little younger. I don't know what's going on but she really reminded me of Amy Adams in this film. Good performance from her fine. The plastics. Holy hell. Were they trying to get the worst people they could to play these characters? They're doing cosplays. Regina for instance. What this is this character just sucks in this movie. What made Rachel McAdams work so well was she was sassy. She was beautiful but she was also funny. She had a comedic evil to her like a Will Ferrell Mugatu like a Dr. Evil. That's how Regina was. She was saying bitchy things but she was doing it with gusto. She was doing it with a pageantry that just really sold me on it and made her funny all the same. This new actress doesn't have that. It comes off as just mean. Just mean for the sake of mean and then at some points when I feel like she should have been mean she kind of held back on some of it so it just was very inconsistent. The other two were so bad. One of them all she does is she kind of has her eyes really big. The Amanda Seafreed character just stands there most of the time. Doesn't even say anything. Just I'm dumb. I'm so dumb I can't even form words and then there's a scene later in the movie. Holy crap where I mean sun's out guns out. She had the full chest on display and that was the entirety of the song was basically just look at my tits. It was uncomfortable and weird. It was just it was kind of an odd scenario and if you saw the movie you'd understand what I'm talking about. If you didn't that's good on you because there's no reason to watch this movie unless of course you fall into the bucket of people that doesn't care that everything's being remade. I mean I'm a bitter jaded movie critic who's so sick of this crap now. I don't know why we have to keep going back to these wells outside of it makes money and I love Tina Fey so it just hurts me to even think this way but that's how it is. I was watching this movie and all I kept thinking was this was so much better before. The way they said these lines didn't hit the same. These actresses feel completely out of place almost intentionally miscast to be worse. What is the point of any of this? This also reminds me of those terrible episodes of sitcoms and I know some people are going to like these ones but I think say by the bell I think scrubs episodes where they do musicals in the episodes almost always are awful to me so it's very much a personal preference but when they do a musical episode of a tv show I usually hit the skip on the on the remote for that one like yeah no I don't need to see the off pitch or weird acting and singing and terrible choreography. To the point of mean girls the singing is fine like it sounds good the choreography is pretty fun. I did see glimpses of brilliance from Tina Fey in some of the dialogue there were points where I was like oh that's a straight up 30 rock joke where she where she starts to go somewhere and then she hits you with something else I like that but it's so far and few in between. My personal beef aside what can you expect if you are actually looking forward to this movie? Again there's a lot of music it's very colorful cinematography solid it looks good there are some decent camera shots where they kind of pretend they're one takes but I don't think they are they're just doing a little bit of trickery but for the most part it's pretty seamless I just I don't know what else to say like I don't know how to get people on board and I don't really think that's my job I'm just a movie fan okay I have another job this is all just for fun and it's a side income but by no means you know I'm not making millions of dollars here okay so I'm just being straight with you this is a film that's modernized so if you're triggered by you know sexuality if you're triggered by more than two genders you're gonna want to burn this thing to the ground because it will offend you in that sense this is very much like you know 2024 the whole rainbow spectrum thing I don't give a shit about any of that I'm just looking for an entertaining good movie and this really doesn't deliver for me because I'm just so upset watching it because there's another movie that's better than it's at my house like I went out I wasted a half hour driving to the theater to watch this and I wasted two hours to watch it plus trailers plus like this is a four and a half hour day gone down the toilet just so that I can bring it to you just so I can tell you my thoughts on it at first I thought you know what maybe this will be different enough they'll go a different direction with it that I can look past all the weird acting choices and some of the bad dialogue but no it really is beat for beat the same exact movie with a ton of the same lines I mean it's just all played out and the scenes that are iconic from the original are done a little bit differently and they're never done better so it's it's again it's okay it's a musical version whoopity fucking doodaw this is where I'm at now in life let me know I have I mean I'm done I have nothing else to say about this movie if you saw mean girls and you loved it if you thought oh wow what a fresh fun spin they modernized it they pulled in some of the original dialogue and some of the characters great that that's good for you I don't care I'm glad you liked it you got your money's worth I'm just here to to maybe scare people from not seeing it if they were on the fence or maybe to push people towards seeing it if that sounds interesting to them maybe it does and that's that's cool I again not not really a big deal to me whether or not you like a movie and I hope it's not a big deal if I like it or don't let me know though please subscribe if you haven't I post tons of movie content each and every week love to hear your thoughts would love to see you stick around like the video share it do all that crap I appreciate it I'm like so I'm so pissy I don't why whatever do whatever you want I don't care anymore no it's fine it's a movie I move on all right take care