 Ben, you ever been on a date where things go south? Oh no. She says, come up to my place after we had the spicy chicken. And I say, uh, how big's your condo? 500 square feet. Oh, 500 square feet. That means the bathroom's right next to the TV, right? Uh, welcome everyone to the Being Human podcast. Thanks for listening on all platforms. Thanks for joining on YouTube. I can't wait to read your comments. I can't wait to say hi. Now a few things, links in the description because, hey, I don't just want to see your avatar. It would be cool to send you messages. You can join our Zoom groups and we could support each other and have those mindful and meditative moments together on Zoom for a more personal experience with some people. If that interests you, just link in the description, scotsaintmarie.com. Join the newsletter so you don't have to scroll through social media. You get goodies right to your inbox. Sound good? Okay. The present moment. Oh, man. Could we talk about that forever? There's so much pressure, isn't there, to be in the moment? It's so ridiculous. If I'm not in the moment, Scott, I wasted a whole day. I was just thinking about the future. I was just thinking about the past. I wasn't here. People tell you, you got to live now. You just got to live in the moment, man. Life is just in the moment. It's just moment to moment. We've done a bit of a disservice to how difficult it can be to be in the moment. We shouldn't be in the moment all the time, by the way. Planning is useful. Future-proofing is useful. Reflecting on the past is useful and fun. Think about those childhood memories you got. Think about those good times. Good times with your friends, family, coworkers. Think about those failures, the times that you cringed yourself out, thinking about your past self. Yeah, we go back. We go forward. And hey, we can arrive in the present moment from time to time. Maybe you're thinking of how can I come back to the present a little more often? Because I catch myself thinking way too much about what could happen. And I catch myself thinking way too much how I talked to that person in grade eight and I called him a dick and I shouldn't have. Why'd I do that? Or I still think about that girl in grade 10 and I asked her out and then I farted and everyone heard the fart and I sharded and I had to run home and my pants were fully shed. We go back and we go forth and we reflect and we predict. And that's part of being human, everyone. You will not find a man or woman on this planet that can be in the moment all day, every day. And if you can, I don't think they'd be interesting. I don't. I really don't. I, you know, I was watching this interview with Deepak Chopra and he was on the view or some shitty show. And when women just get around a table and talk, okay. And he was just so calm. And they were all like, you're just so calm. Are you like that all the time? He's like, yes. All the time. I'm this calm. And I said, I would never want to go out and have a drink with you or go for a walk with you. That's too calm. What are you? I don't know. I don't find that engaging or inspiring. So if you're not a calm person and you're reading and people are telling you to be in the moment and be calm and if that's not you, then that's not you. All right. You can't teach a fish to fly. You can't teach a bird to swim. So stay in your lane. But this podcast episode is about how we can maybe. Oh my God, I was going to use the word manifest. No, no, no, no, no. How we can bring ourselves back when we're caught in that scenario building. I tell myself, I tell myself, here's tip number one. I say, come on back Scott. That's the one thing. I'm thinking of all these stories and I'm in scenes that will never happen in a million years and I say, come on back buddy. Come on back because when we're so far, what is that? Yes, we have to come back to the present moment and we're thinking about the past. Right. We can still say, okay, hold the come on forward or come on here. Come on back to the present. So I was a quick story. There's going to be a point to it and I just don't know what it is yet. But bear with me. I was in Washington DC. So there's a few weeks ago. No, it's like a month ago. Oh, I'm just so in the present. I don't even know what time it is. The time is now. I don't have a calendar. I don't plan. Who gives a shit? Planning is important everyone. Calendars are important. But I think it was like a month ago. And in Washington DC and I get there and I was about to meet some friends, but they were going to be like four hours later. I showed up in Washington right on the wharf. We got a hotel looking at the water right by the monument and all that. So I went and walked around and that Washington monument is way bigger than I thought the Lincoln Memorial. And it's like being in Rome in year zero and this comparison has been done with Washington a bunch at least that area. There's just the Romanesque pillars and marble and government buildings and it's clean and it's just a beautiful place. So I did a walk around there and then I came back to the hotel and Scott got hungy, hungy. And I looked on Google saw that there was some oysters right under the hotel. And what do you think I did? I went and got oysters. Oh my, any oyster boys out there? Any oisty boys or oisty girls? Yeah, you just slurp those babies back. Oh, and these were delicious. They had six different kinds from different regions. And so I got a dozen and so two of each. But so I saw the oysters. It was called what was it? Hank's oyster bar or something like that. And my friends were going to show up for four hours. I'm going to get food. I'm going to do it solo. I've eaten many times alone. I've gone to the movies many times alone. I've gone traveling many times alone. And loneliness is harder to feel if you know that you're in good company. So to be your best ally and best friend is very important today. And you know, since the dawn of time. So I walk in and the hostess is like just one. I'm like, what do you mean just one? You judgmental ass. No, it was really nice. I say yes, just one please. And then she puts me at a table for four. So now my mind goes now everybody's thinking I'm being stood up by four friends and I'm eating all alone. Nobody came. That's where the mine wanders and so the server comes up. What would you like, sir? I'm like, give me the oysters. I want a dozen baby and he's like and to drink. I'm fine with the water and of course a server doesn't like when you order just water because it's free and the bill isn't as high. You don't get a bigger tip. Well, I'm not into the poison these days. So I'll take the water fresh. It's the nectar of life and it was delicious. So I'm sitting at this table. Everyone in dim lighting because if it's a fancy place, you know, they dim the lighting where you can't see shit. So I'm sitting there and people are around me eating and he's going to get my order. I'm waiting for my friends and what do you think happened? It just hit me softly, snuggly, cozy feeling that you can just lean into so soft, so subtle yet overwhelmingly awesome. Is I was just locked in. I was like, wow, this is it. Do you know those moments that you get? When do you get them when you're locked in? You don't question anything. You don't ask, why am I doing this? What's this all about a question when you're locked in the moment? That's the stupid question, right? You don't ask why when you're having fun. You're just having fun and enjoying. Oh, why am I enjoying this? This is crazy. This shouldn't be happening. No, you're enjoying it. You don't ask questions. When's when do those moments pop up for you? Is it when you're playing a sport, when you're in conversation, when you're the center of attention, when you're around a bunch of people, when you're alone, when you're hiking through the woods, when you're going for a walk, when you're climbing a tree, when you're humping a tree, when do you feel locked in? And why does that happen? In that moment at Hanks Oysters in Washington, D.C., things were taken care of. Let's think about that, okay? If you're looking to be more present and feel more present, maybe this is something to ponder and think about. Things are taken care of. The body and mind can come to the present moment when we do not have to protect and we do not have to predict. So we are present. The three P's, say P with me. P, P, yes, P. The three P's. Predict, protect. You don't need those. Okay, well, the only thing left to do is to be present. Oh, maybe let's add another P, past. Nothing from the past. So we have predict. We have protect. And the past isn't surfacing. There's nothing we need to go over, reflect on, and worry about from back then if we did something wrong, if something isn't right. There's a specific plan in place in that moment at the Oyster Bar. Check it out. My social needs were met. I had friends coming, right? And they were going to be here. Nothing more to plan there. My physical needs were being met. I got Oyster's juice in the back kitchen. They're going to be pouring into my tummy pretty soon. So that was being met, water, delicious on the table. Physical needs being met. Psychological needs were met because these needs were already in place. That what did I have to worry about there? Financial needs were done even though I was paying in Canadian and our dollar sucks so I'm paying like double in the U.S. But that was taken care of. Oh, here's what's key, everyone. The reason we have to predict and protect ourselves, anxiety is protection. Anxiety means we want to know what's going to happen, but we're not sure if we'll be able to handle it. What if that happens? I won't know what to do. That's anxiety. If that happens, I don't have a thing I can do. So now in the present moment, I have to come up with a plan and figure out that scenario. And then, okay, if that happens, what am I going to do there? Okay, I got to figure that out. If that happens, if my friends don't show up, what am I going to do? It's all there in the planning and predicting. And our brains are predatory. That's what they do, right? So having tools, having the confidence to know and the foundation to have a bunch of tools to say, okay, if something goes wrong, I have a tool to repair, to maintain, to fix the situation. If you had spicy Indian food, spicy curry delights, what's going on in the bathroom the next day? Plunger, ASAP. Fabrice, ASAP. Oh, you know what's a bigger one? See, a ceiling fan. Oh, you don't have to worry about clogging the toilet. You don't got to worry about smelling up the place. And with the ceiling fan, guess what? If there's people outside the door, they don't know what's going on inside. You got a nice ambient noise happening. It's perfect. That's the three-prong approach to shitting. You got plunger, you got ceiling fan, you got spray. You're taken care of. So in that present moment, listen, this is why we talk about home base with shitting all the time. If you know while you're eating your curry and you ordered it, whatever spicy food it is, spicy chicken combo from Wendy's, you can enjoy that fully knowing that I have a plan if the colon goes south. I have an area of safety that I can turn to straight up. This is a joke, but it's not. I have a place of safety to retreat to where I know everything's going to be okay. You ever have spicy food on a trip? Oh, we all hate being sick on a trip too. Oh, the toilet's not right. I don't have my favorite bath mat where I used to just lay by the toilet because I'm puking every five minutes, right? So eating a meal somewhere else, spicy. Oh my gosh, I'm like, okay, this is spicy food. Okay, I don't have a game plan. Where's home base? Where's the closest facility? Where can this happen? You ever been on a date where things go south? Oh no. She says, come up to my place after we had the spicy chicken. And I say, how big's your condo? 500 square feet. 500 square feet. That means the bathrooms right next to the TV, right? So when we have our future plan, this doesn't mean a 20-year plan. This doesn't mean if you're in high school, where do you see yourself in 10 years? Screw, get out of here, teacher. What's this bullshit question? Nobody knows that. But are your needs being met? And do you have the tools in the present to take care of what's most likely to happen in the future? That's safety, my friends. And that's an antidote to an anxious feeling and to come back to the present where you know that no matter what happens, I have a foundation of tools. I have the plunger. I have the spray. And I have the ceiling fan. I got it all. If I feel anxious, I have the meditations. I have a friend to talk to. I got that texting thing. I got my walk. I got all of the exercises. I got Mr. Rogers reruns on YouTube. You know what I'm saying? I have my favorite herbal teas. We need tools. Sometimes the tools don't work. That's why it's tough to just have one. To depend on one thing only puts more pressure because then we're like, what if it doesn't work? We've only got one thing. No backup, no safety net, right? What if the plunger isn't there? Use your hands. So I hope this is useful to think about not adding pressure. What is pressure? Like the pressure to be in the moment. It's not about forcing yourself there. It's about having the necessary tools and then inevitably what happens without us asking permission and forcing it. We come to the present. It's not like at the oyster bar. I was like, okay, I'm waiting for my food. I'm ready. Here we go. Be in the moment, Scott. Be in the moment. Be in the moment. Everything's good. Everything's great. I got my friends are coming and the oysters are coming and I'm safe here. That didn't come to mind. The mind knows when it can relax. The body knows when it doesn't have to predict and worry. What's more useful? What seems like a better scenario to everyone watching and listening? Is it to juice an orange fully? Like I'm talking, you get the orange. You get one of the juicers and you get the pulp and you get everything in there and it's juice to the max and then you're late for work. I'm going on the subway. I'm dodging bitches and then you chug the orange juice on the subway. It's gone. It's done. It was in a paper cup. You throw it out on your way to work. But you juiced the entire orange. You got 250 mils out of that bad boy. Okay. That's one scenario. Next scenario is you take that same orange. You squeeze it. You get one drop. One drop. Oh my God. How could this possibly quench me? But you look at it. You smell it. Wow. This color comes out of the freaking ground. Oh my God. Smells sweet like Florida. Mmm. Old ladies in one piece bathing suits. Florida oranges. And you take a sip of that one drop and it sloshes in your mouth, touches your left cheek, your right cheek, your taste buds. Swallow goes down to the tummy. We think that we. I. I think that sometimes I have to squeeze out life for all it's worth, for all it's got. I need to see more. I need to do more. I need to be more. That's me. And then you're chugging all the juice quick because come on. It's there. I got to drink it. Squeeze more. I got to drink it. Squeeze more. I got to drink it. But to do so with less, but to be mindful of what's happening, what you see, what you hear, what you smell, do things slowly. It's not about the quantity. It's about the. Yeah. It's not to force yourself and pressure yourself. I got to savor the moment. I got to be in it. I got to squeeze life. I got I got it. No, it's like. It's a nice orange. Wow, look at that. Do so slowly. And when we're doing things mindfully in the moment, right? And we have those tools. Oh, what a killer combo. What a combo of delight. This isn't to say that anxiety doesn't come. Again, I don't want to talk to you people who are just calm and smiling all day. That's not fun. That's not fun. That's not what life is to me. If you're happy all the time. I don't know, man. I just that's not that's not the energy I even want to bring into my own life. I don't want to be happy all the time. I get different things done when I feel different things. The best songs have created have not come out of happiness. Absolutely not. The best work I've done hasn't come out of joy. It's come out of empathy and feeling feeling things a little bit beyond the norm, let's say. So I hope this was helpful to you. Squeeze a little bit at a time. See if you can relax with the predictions and the protection to get some more tools in your tool belt to see what needs fixing. Don't forget about the plunger, the poop spray and the ceiling fan. If you're interested, the links in the description if you'd like some of those tools. This wasn't a whole promo for the anxiety course I put together. Absolutely not. But you can get free videos if you're interested to see if you like it to see if there's tools there that would benefit you. So join up the newsletter link in the description and I hope to see you all soon. I really appreciate your ears and have the best day you can. Bye. And that wasn't an insult to, you know, Indian spicy curry and all that, you know, that goes without saying. All right, bye.