 Hey, travel between men and women. So today we have another story coming your way And I am going to share about a unique experience that probably not so many people had around the globe and To be honest though at the same time it's called an Uchi deshi experience Japanese term deshi means student Uchi means means inside so meaning you're living in the school Versus Soto deshi is outside student person who's living outside of school and comes in so so Uchi deshi is a known experience across the martial arts world But the programs do you defer and again not everyone you know goes through that step of actually living in a martial arts school The martial art that schools that I lived in it was an Aikido school a Japanese martial art which I later ended up ended up teaching and Studied for about 15 years or so I guess in total But the other side which is significant to this story is that the school that I lived in the martial arts school was also a Spiritual school, so I was practicing Aikido was the main kind of subject, but also Aikido is a philosophical martial art if you don't know it's all about Achieving peace instead of conflict transforming conflict from a violent situation into a non-violent situation So it's a long story what I kiddo is maybe worth making a whole video about what it can say I kiddo philosophy, but that's another story Coming back to the doger that I lived in Aikido was the main base, so I would train for about I guess 15 times per week morning and evening every day Sunday wasn't off-day, but still sometimes we would train on our own and Then also I did yoga and there was meditation and my Aikido instructor. I say I kiddo instructor But kind of he was also kind of a spiritual teacher for me. If you watch some of my other stories You probably know about that there's a dark side to the story, but also there's a positive side and At the end of the story about a couple years ago or two or three years ago We fell apart. We fell out in my Aikido instructor and in a hard difficult tough way We actually haven't spoken even one word to each other after we fell out, but again, that's a whole different story But after I fell out, you know I saw a lot of dark things that he did some things that I don't approve Now that I look back And not like you know Not like some terrible terrible things but more subtle psychological social things and and kind of When you consider what's a good teacher and what's a bad teacher I Saw some bad things he did which he didn't necessarily always acknowledge and that's And again also to be fair, none of us is perfect. It's just I consider that a teacher who's running a community Leader of a community is it's important for that person to question himself more than anyone else questions I feel that was a part he was lacking in at least in my in my perspective but at the same time we're not all perfect and I have to admit also to I got a lot of good stuff from him like if without that experience of living in his Martial arts slash spiritual school for three years. I wouldn't be the man I am right now and of course, yes after I moved out of his dojo of his dojo's a Martial arts school in Japanese Comfortable word if you don't know so I opened my own dojo in my own home country Lithuania and With time I developed my own qualities my own perspectives and I guess it's kind of like a bit of a Freud and young type of story, you know, they start together and then you end up going your separate ways but yeah, so I also got a lot of good things from him and I because Despite that though because we fell out It's difficult for me. It's been difficult for me in the past couple years to say anything good about him I would sometimes say it but but there's so much negativity between us right now That it's tough for I have to acknowledge. It's tough for me to just to point out the good things I do that inside of myself, but if the conversation goes about my teacher naturally I Kind of I'm drawn to say well, there's a lot of bad things he did But what I have to admit there were some good stuff too and in this video the reason I'm saying all this is then in this video I decided to Try to do my best to focus on the good things that I received from that program the positive adventures I went through living in the Aikido Slash yoga slash meditation school But who knows this is not scripted. I'm doing this in one take so we never know what exactly I'm going to talk About but that's kind of the direction. I'm going to aim for I'm going to try to kind of Balance out the scales and and remember the positive things not only the dark things about that experience So that being said, let's get started after this sip of coffee if you have a coffee Watch this video and have a coffee or tea and drink with me so Okay, so we let's come back to Let's start by coming back to like 2006 2007 and that's a story where I was still in high school my last couple years a Quick recap if you don't know the story. I decided I will not study and I decided that instead I will do Aikido and The funny part where first contact I had with the school, which I later lived in First of all because when you think about martial arts and you think about Aikido even more so because it's very traditional martial art So there's a lot of traditions involved in it like traditional clothing and and Japanese etiquette Japanese words a lot of Japanese in there and Since it's such a Japanese martial art You kind of tend to think that if you want to if you want to learn real Aikido You need to go to Japan the source of origin or if you want to learn kung fu you need to go to China Thing is I don't want to expand too much into that direction, but in my experience in my perspective Japanese are quite rigid There's a lot of good things in them as well But but they tend to be very conservative a bit rigid in terms of following the rules And I think that sometimes inhibits them from kind of evolving whatever they're doing in terms of things which are related to tradition and Aikido is and so Eventually, I came to a conclusion that actually a lot of good stuff Aikido wise evolved outside of Japan, but initially I had that idea Okay, if I want to learn real Aikido need to go to Japan and when I decided that I will become an Aikido I want to become an Aikido instructor instead of studying. I learned that in the judeishi program exists. I I initially wanted to go to Japan to study there, but the martial arts school the Aikido school that I wrote an email to asking if I could become a judeishi at their place told me that I need a recommendation letter and At the time Lithuania didn't have any affiliations of that particular organization. So I was kind of screwed I didn't have anyone to recommend me But I didn't realize in the beginning I was like what 17 18 18 I guess yeah, so Pretty young, you know still naive and didn't know much So I didn't expect that uchi deshi programs also exist outside of Chen But I kind of stumbled on that and I saw a few in the States But I also realized a few of them are in Europe and I'm European from Europe and Not in my country, but I found one in France And I wrote an email to that dojo, but they couldn't take me in Because the instructor was traveling the world teaching centers but I also found to my surprise and I kiddo dojo with an uchi deshi program in Switzerland and That was surprising because I thought well, Switzerland that's kind of weird and I looked into the website and the instructor was American Which is again surprising, but I looked at his background and there were a lot of good things like you know he lived in Japan and he Traveled the world and went for India and so on and this meditation. I was like, okay, that's cool That that's that's my name and it's my game thing is though I was so eager to just go out there and devote myself to any a kiddo program that I didn't care that much About the details. I wasn't picky. I was just just give me the chance and I wrote an email If I could come become a judiciary and I received a positive answer like yes, you can come Funny part of the story. I wrote this whole big long email about all the questions, you know, I mean Remember the fact that I was 18 Haven't lived I traveled the world a bit here and there, but I never lived on my own so my life experience was pretty limited and This is the first time I was initially I went there for three months so I'm planning for a three months trip to a country I don't know and I Write this big email about like so what's the language there? How much money do I need per month and you know, should I bring my laptop and I made this whole long list of questions? And eventually after this big email I get a single answer back like a like a couple sentences like Let us know when you're gonna come Somebody's gonna pick you up in the station and the train station looking forward to see you that was it I was like that works for me So I convinced my parents eventually to let me go and after finished high school I finished in June and they waited a couple months and then in August I went on a bus trip to Switzerland Which is like a it was actually it went longer than it was supposed to so it went for like 32 hours Bus trip barely without any stops. I was like that was pretty heavy and I arrived into Zurich I had to go to a different city eventually, but I went to Zurich with my bus and I needed to take a train there But the bus was late so I got stuck in the train station because all the trains already left so it's midnight and Like well might as well just go and communicate with people around that was I was at the day I was very communicative now I don't like to talk to random people stranger so much but back in the day I was like, yeah, let's get to know each other and I walked to some People of my age and I would just chat with them and and funny part is I didn't know anything about Switzerland I didn't prepare for that trip much whatsoever. I just kind of went like blind. I didn't know anyone in that dojo So it was like kind of blind faith and I was talking to these kids and Of my age and they were telling me like oh so well No, I actually forgot is I think Zurich is the capital of yeah, I think it's the capital of Switzerland Zurich is the capital of Switzerland. I was like, I didn't know that it's not Geneva Is it? Geneva is just a big important city. Anyway, so and then they tell me oh They're there where you're going they talk French. I was like French. I didn't know that Turns out that area. It's a really interesting thing about Switzerland Switzerland is divided into Kind of free parts and they each part talks in a different language Crazy crazy. It's a tiny small country smaller than my own country Lithuania Which has only three million people but it has free actually for official languages free spoken The north side more or less is German speaking with their own accent Kind of the more east south side is Italian speaking and east west side is French Speaking so I was going to the French speaking part. I was like crap. Okay. Well, I don't know French But I know English and I knew that my instructor is gonna be American So I learned all these facts and I kind of started learning about where I'm heading to I spent some time with this girl talking until the morning. I guess it was kind of romantic But I I didn't invest in it. I think she did anyway Take I sit in the train Like four in the morning or something and I arrived eventually to the town Nobody's picking me up because I I you know, I didn't get on time back then You know, I don't think I have like a mobile phone which would let me connect up at any time You know, it was a different time back then so I just searched out for the place and at seven in the morning I finally find the dojo. I walk in there a couple of women and welcome me and they're like, well, you know I'm that guy and they're like, oh you actually made it and They're almost kind of thing betting whether I'm gonna come or not because it's kind of weird You know an 18 year 18 year old guy actually by the time I was going I was about to turn 19 my birthday was in a few days and so It was funny because they were betting because they were like, you know an 18 year old guy makes his mix Just like a random trip to here to live for three months. It's kind of wild But I did it and I'm sitting there drinking tea with them and they're asking me so When's the I'm asking this so when's the next training and they're like, oh, it's gonna be actually in an hour at eight o'clock in the morning on Saturday And I was like, oh really? Oh, I'm gonna train thing is though. I I Never I never trained Sorry, no that I lost my heart. I actually didn't sleep for About 40 hours because in the bus I didn't I was not able to sleep then I spent the whole night in the train than the train trip And then I went to dojo so I didn't sleep like for 40 hours I'm exhausted after a long trip barely any food. I'm like, I'm so pumped. I'm like, let's train and so I went to the training I Did the training it was actually different from what I was used to but eventually I loved it and then after the training they show me where I'm gonna sleep and I got that place and I fall asleep and I just go out cold. I think I woke up after like, I guess like 10 hours or Sleeping I woke up. I go outside. I go to the dojo and I'm looking around and no one's here and for me at the day was really a weird and unusual experience because Because Because in Lithuania we weren't so trusting each other we weren't we were more suspicious about each other And so it was so unusual for me a completely unknown person I just got there and they left me alone and I mean not like alone that I had a trouble with that But it was just surprised how much they trust me. So I kind of appreciate that as well But I think one of the ladies invited me to meditate together We meditated for a bit and then I went to sleep again like an hour later And then I slept for like again like 14 hours. So so I ended up sleeping like 20 hours or so That's my record up to today And then you know, I'm not gonna go day by day and tell you that whole strain that way but just that was that interest that beginning was It's kind of very interesting of how I got there and how ancient things started Now to kind of start cutting through the story. I Really loved it there And it was I felt like it's exactly what I was looking for I was always interested in meditation spirituality and and the instructor that I took as my teacher She was my teacher. He he was kind of giving me the right things for that. He wasn't just a dry Martial art school where you just practice and that's it. We had a lot of talks. We had a lot of discussions I learned a lot about meditation yoga. So it was really kind of the right thing and we talked a lot about Fulfilling your purpose pursuing your goals so that was very valuable and At the day and one of the methods which was interesting. It's interesting to reflect about how it worked Cuffing was that The keynote structure that I learned from He would invite all of us to live in students to have a meeting once per week with him like a personal meeting we would go out there sit and have coffee together and He would ask questions and you would have to answer and eventually he would share his wisdom Thing is though I was super ambitious and I was going there with the knowledge that I want to become an idea instructor and The first meeting we had I told him I'm here to become an idea instructor And it was actually an interesting moment and something I really appreciate from him Is because beforehand when I was still Lithuania in my country and I was in high school At a certain point I realized I want to become an idea instructor and I told people and nobody supported me Like everyone was like saying you're crazy Roka's this is nonsense and eventually like at the last few months I started finding people who did kind of believe in me, but funny thing. There was this one Business guy who I liked a lot. He was the boyfriend of my Cousin at the day and he was really enthusiastic about it was what was saying. He was like, yeah, dude You're gonna make it and I really enjoyed that support from him Especially because he seemed like a smart guy years later like about Four even more like five six years later when I I came back to Lithuania opened my dojo after the whole thing I text him. I found him online. I was like, hey, you know, I opened my dojo. Let's meet up You know, I really appreciate your support to help me kind of Make it happen He writes back to me. Actually, we never met he wasn't like really going through that place And I never really, you know pushed for the meaning but there was a funny moment where he wrote Oh, really? I never really thought you will be able to open your dojo So I'm kind of surprised and I'm like, holy crap, dude I thought you're you know, I thought you believe in me and I thought you're like, you know All in and and turns out, you know, he was kind of getting you pep talks But he wasn't really believing that I will be able to do it. So it's kind of funny But it worked out at the moment But aside from that I had very few people who supported me and most people said I'm crazy when I met when I went for a coffee meeting with my A kid instructor for the first time He I told him that I want to become a kid instructor and he was the very first person who's intended instead of trying to talk me out of it He looked at me and said well, that means you'll probably have to stay here for longer Get your black belt blah blah blah blah blah blah this and that and he took me seriously and I really appreciate that that really in partners like dude, this is a person who you know, he knows what he's taught me about and And He's he's good at his stuff. He went through the path. He knows how to make it and instead of telling me Oh, this is crazy. Don't do it. You're too young or anything He believed that it's possible right away and and gave me just a list of what I will have to do That was great. I really appreciate that moment and Funny part though, you know when you're 18 or at least when I was 18, especially being so ambitious. I I Time worked differently for me. I guess it does for young people is like everything seems like there's no time You need to rush. You need to you know pick up the pace. You're running out of time and thing is At the day like even three months going out there for three months seemed like forever I was like, oh, I'm leaving my currenty forever. I'm gonna come back in three months, you know all grown up and whatnot and I did come back changed but The thing is When my instructor said that I will need to stay for longer like about a year and get my black belt I remember at that moment. My brain was freaking out. It was like a year. I can die in a year You know, this is so long. This is so much man. I'm gonna love what I'm gonna do And and then I kind of settled in I was like, okay. Well, wait, I'm gonna do it Actually, you know what? It's it's even more funnier. He said six months. I think he said he said if I stay for six months Then you know, I get my black belt and then I got gonna go open my dojo or start teaching like you don't know three hours like crap I was like Well, that's a lot, but I was like, okay, I can do you can do your course, you know, you can flip through it I'll focus on this part of story because it's so funny and kind of interesting For a moment. So what happened next with that particular storyline? I So he stayed the first time for three months and I moved back to Lithuania because I kind of needed to regather my finances And that was the first initial commitment and also had this heart surgery really weird like like they put a wire through my leg and Operated my heart and I was watching it on TV while they were doing it. It was really cool But then I couldn't train for a while after I got that surgery and I kind of caught in a bit of a depressive mode during that period and While I came back to Lithuania after those three months I felt I learned so much that I felt like I'm ready to go out there and change the world, you know again young ambitiousness and I tried I talked to young people and I kind of went I was kind of inspiring to them But I didn't really, you know see the right things and and eventually started to see okay, man I'm not there yet and I almost kind of lost that momentum and got a bit became a bit depressed and Sluggish you could say like like I was like, okay This didn't really work out and I actually fell out with my previous like, you know instructor who who was actually upset that I went to Study with this like, you know instructor, which was really weird. I think that's a story worth telling on another video because he Yeah, he thought That you know, not necessarily I'm kind of betraying him maybe on a little bit, but he also felt like He he considered it was a weird thing. He had he considered everyone outside of him Who's studying Aikido teaching Aikido to be fraud unless he knew them and unless he told them that they're legit He's like, oh, he's a fraud. He's a fraud. He's a fraud He was very judgmental in that way and he decided that the Aikido instructor that I learned from despite him You know being top of his game studied with the best of the best lived in Japan whenever he decided He's a fraud and and and then he didn't support me which is crazy I thought he's gonna be happy that I chose to live the path of Aikido. So it's a long story But yeah, it was kind of weird. So I felt I felt with him And I kind of got lost and confused and didn't have something specific to do And while I had to I was initially supposed to come back to Switzerland quite quickly I kind of stayed over in Lithuania and and my mood was just going down and down and then she started to feel like man I should probably get back. I Should I should continue my my pursuing my purpose my goal But but what's most interesting and what was most? important at that moment is that my mother Who initially my parents they they weren't super supportive of my choice of that it's again a great story, but They were telling me this is a mistake. I should first finish university at least and only then do these crazy things But eventually they realized I'm hopeless. That's kind of how they said, okay Well, the orchestra were hopeless. We understand we're not gonna talk you out of it So we're gonna support you until you will fail That's that was their initial statement and they're super good. My parents are amazing and they were supportive But they thought this is a mistake And despite that when my mom saw that I'm kind of going down that depressed road of kind of Getting lost becoming lost and confused and not really have anything to do I think from what I remember she actually came to me and said You know, I think you should go back to Switzerland and that was so and So unexpected because beforehand she As I said they were skeptical about this But I think they saw how pumped I was living there and they saw how kind of purposeless I became without going back there and she suggested for me to go so I greatly appreciate that so it was kind of a mix I was also I was fully considering to that myself but kind of postponing it. It was on my list But I was I don't know why even I start to say why I postponed it but Also, actually do you know a little bit? It's a crazy part actually I won't go deep into this but actually one of the persons I lived with Sharing the space. She was really difficult person to live with. I think that was kind of I was afraid partly to go back. It's crazy to think back about that now. It was also an intense experience So I think part of my psyche was freaking out. I wanted to go back, but I was also afraid But my mom encouraged me and I realized you know what it's time and after like eight months passed I took a bus there again and went out there indefinitely Now, I know what what's interesting is I was expecting to finish up this story in 30 minutes, but I see there's so much good stuff there that um I will I think I will stop here I'll make a short break. I'll I'll put on a sweatshirt Sweater because I'm cold I wanted to change my clothes to be like, oh look, I don't wear all same hoodie all the time But I'm cold so I'm gonna wear the same hoodie all the time again Until it gets warm But yeah, I'll drink some coffee and I'll continue the story And the second part of this because we don't want to make this too too too long Let's make let's make this episode one and I'll continue episode two So thanks for watching so far Stay tuned And keep questioning and I'll see you soon enough and the next part of this episode