 Hey Psych2Goers, before we begin, we would like to thank you all for the love and support that you've given us. Sharing and liking our videos helps us fulfill our mission to make psychology more accessible to everyone, and we're so grateful for that. Now, let's continue. What is the relationship between you and your mother like? Perhaps you've noticed that something is just not right in your relationship, but you have no idea why. And because of that, you've questioned yourself and wondered whether it was something you were doing, or is it something she's doing? Sound familiar? Children of narcissistic parents go through their lives feeling confused and lost, and in search of the love they never received from home. They expect their mothers to nurture and support them, but when they're dealing with narcissistic mothers, they aren't given the love and support that healthy parents should provide. Narcissism is one of the buzzwords used a lot in mental health literature and social media. So how do we know our own mothers are narcissistic, or simply just being mothers? In this video, we'll be discussing 10 signs you may have a narcissistic mother. As a disclaimer, this video is purely for educational purposes and is not designed to diagnose or suggest that your mother is a narcissist because you recognize some of the signs in this video. If you feel that your mother is displaying narcissistic traits and you feel that you can't talk to her about it, we suggest confiding in somebody you trust or speaking to a person in a professional capacity, such as a GP or a mental health professional. Let's begin. Number one, she sees her children as her trophies or her pawns. Ever feel like your achievements are used by your mother to show off her status and her ability? A narcissistic mother sees her child as an extension of herself. The sad truth is, the only thing narcissistic mothers care about is how others see them through their children. So when her child makes any mistake in public, she belittles them. A narcissistic mother will be full of praise when you make her look good. Hypercritical and judgmental when you make her look bad. In the worst part, she knows where it hurts and will often not consider this before making comments at your expense. If you have siblings, she'll pit you against each other to gain more control. The golden child is the one she favors more, solely because of how good you make her look around others. If she sees you as the scapegoat, she'll put the blame on you for everything and even emotionally reject you because you make her look bad. Number two, she likes to keep control. Does she get angry when you disagree or don't do what she wants you to do? Does she try to make you feel guilty for having separate interests, hobbies, desires, and opinions? Mothers who exhibit narcissistic traits like to have complete control over all aspects of their children's lives. From friends to music to clothes and habits. Number three, she uses manipulation to get what she wants. Does trying to assert yourself result towards your mother in anger, rejection, and hostility? Manipulation is her game and she will often play it well. She will use guilt trips through emotional blackmail to make you and any siblings you may have dance to her music. She doesn't appreciate your attempts to individuate as it means you're going to be less available to serve her needs. Number four, her love is conditional rather than unconditional. As mentioned earlier, the mother who is narcissistic is interested in how you and your achievements reflect on her. However, on the flip side, she may even become jealous. As a result, she may use love as a way to reward and to punish. Narcissistic mothers know that the most powerful weapon over their children is their love, which is one of the reasons why children of narcissistic mothers will often be perfectionistic in a misguided attempt to win their mother's love. Number five, she often diverts the conversation to focus on herself. Have you ever found yourself trying to communicate an issue or a problem to your mother and feel like she's just not listening? Do you feel unvalued in your family dynamic? Narcissistic mothers will take control and change the direction of the conversation to focus on themselves. Number six, she lacks empathy. Because they're so super focused on themselves, narcissistic mothers are unable to sympathize with their children. It's likely that she'll not validate your feelings as there's very little room in her emotional consciousness for her to do so. Narcissists are self-centered and they feel the entire world should revolve around them. If they do something that upsets you, narcissists won't acknowledge their mistakes or soothe your upset because they believe they can do no wrong. Number seven, she's unpredictable. Never quite know where you stand with your mother. Narcissists often wax and wane in terms of their attention and availability. She may shower you with affection and attention when she wants something from you and ignore you when she's doing okay. This is also known as love bombing. Number eight, she carries grudges. Does your mother hold a grudge based on something that happened days, months or even years ago? With narcissistic mothers, these tend to last for a long time with no sign of it being forgiven or forgotten anytime soon. This is because narcissistic mothers are quick to develop a victim mentality. She's wired to manipulate others, which includes guilt-tripping you with your past mistakes. Get what she wants. Number nine, she's emotionally volatile. Another key tick box when it comes to looking at narcissism is being volatile in nature. Mothers with these characteristics have very low self-esteem underneath their bluster and will become teary, desperate and manipulative if they meet ongoing resistance. And number 10, she will never want to let you go. Has your mother ever said something like, you can't leave me or you need me? All parents know their kids will grow up and eventually leave the nest. However, narcissistic mothers may have a harder time letting go. Codependency in relationships is a trademark of people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. So, a narcissistic mother may hold on to her child as long as possible, even into adulthood. She will use every tactic in the book to make them feel dependent on her. Did you relate to any of these signs? Let us know in the comments below. Remember that narcissistic traits can be symptoms of a personality disorder. However, that does not mean that everybody who exhibits these signs is a narcissist. Or that they may have a personality disorder. If you feel like your mother may be a narcissist, please ensure you talk to somebody you trust, as this can be a difficult thing to deal with. Not just for you, but for your mother and those around her as well. If you found this video helpful, please like and share it with someone who might benefit from it too. Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more content. Thanks so much for watching and we'll see you soon.