 another live video here for you today still on the lake district heading to a waterfall the narcissist never wanted you to figure this out and this is a really big video you definitely want to save this video to your liked videos so you can check it out again later you want to watch this one a few times they never wanted you to figure this out think back throughout your relationship all of the things they said to you it all started when they mimicked your interests your passions whether this was a hobby or something you were studying maybe you liked painting playing the guitar wherever it was they took that and they pulled that into their own realm and they acted like they were about that and there it was they had you running on this hamster wheel trying to please them trying to get you to in their admiration for whatever it was that you were doing long before you had even met them and then here they are they come in they pull her all apart they act like you've got to do this they put you on this hamster wheel we are running endlessly trying to earn their validation this person who you don't even know because they never really let you know them but here is the real kick of the backside because they were never about that anyway all along they had you thinking that they were into that and not only that but they were they were above you they knew more than you did about a certain subject or they were more passionate about something when in reality they knew nothing and in fact everything they had came from you and they took that and then acted as though they were ahead of you it's crazy it really is and I'll even take that one step further because remember all of those times where they put you down and they made you feel like you were bad or wrong the crazy thing is they already know that they're corrupt they know that there's all sorts of things wrong with them and here they are picking you apart telling you that you're not good at this or you need to be better at that or so you don't look at them and how flawed they are because that's the whole point of this disorder it's a coping and defense mechanism when they're picking you apart so they can defend themselves against how they really see themselves because if you've watched enough of my videos and you've really looked into this you'll know they hate themselves they don't like anything about themselves and they feel like they're not good in anything and they're the ones you see them just as they were when they first met you and when they meet anyone they're the ones who are always seeking validation and then they put you on that trap and they have you trying to please them when they ain't doing nothing for you it's crazy but there's really nothing that you can tell them you can't just sit there and argue with them we're trying to say yeah okay I'm not doing this but you're not doing that or you need to be better you can't do that with a narcissist it's not gonna work because that's just gonna make them more mad and then they're really gonna come down and you look a ton of bricks but yeah this is it the narcissist didn't want you to figure that out all along they played you like a fool they had you thinking that they were so great and not only that they were better than you but it was all a lie it wasn't real it was a facade and deep down they knew that they knew they weren't about nothing it was all just about making you think that they were and they put so much fear and shame into you all the time they want to trigger you reflecting on your faults or they just make stuff up they want to keep you looking at your flaws they don't want you to put that on them because they are more flawed than anyone else so the last thing they want it's for you to cut to start coming to them and start questioning what they've been doing because then you could just tear that ass apart that's why they got to get that mirror and put it in front of you where you think that there's something that you need to do better when the reality is I'll tell you right now you're fine the only thing that's wrong is that you're around them if there's one thing wrong wrong with us it's that we stay stuck around these types of people that's the only thing that's wrong and then when you get away from them you just need to heal but other than that you're fine you can move on you can change it's not a problem but for them no they can't do that they can give you the illusion that they're doing that just like they gave you the illusion in the beginning that they were okay and they were on your level but then when they started to reflect and realize that you were greater than them in some aspect that's when they started to pull you down because it made them feel inadequate in comparison yeah they didn't we need to figure that out and there's nothing you can tell them no matter what you do they're always gonna flip it around and you but I'll tell you this right now and you can watch all the videos you can read all of the studies on this some people have been in this for years 10 20 50 years they've been stuck with a narcissist and I can promise you nothing ever changed no matter how much they try to fix everything no matter how much they looked at themselves and try to improve everything you could be the most perfect person in the world but the narcissist will still find something wrong with you because there's something wrong with them it's not you and there's just nothing you can do to fix that because it's not your problem to fix and that's why you find no matter how much you improve yourself they're still the same you will never get to the point when they come to you and say yeah you're fine you don't need to do anymore I'm happy with you I'm satisfied that's never gonna happen because that this satisfaction is within them it was there long before you met them I can promise you that that's why everyone says go no contact that's your only option in these situations because staying with them is not gonna change anything they're always gonna be the same but yeah it's crazy it really is you spend all of this time in this alternate reality thinking that something's not right with you when they know all too well you're fine they know that and they knew that from the beginning when they first met you the only problem is when your strengths begin to reveal their faults and weaknesses that's the only problem but all along they keep you looking at yourself they keep you thinking that you need to prove yourself you need to earn their loyalty their cooperation you need to earn that and they keep you thinking that something's wrong with you I mean that's just the game like to sum it up it's all about making you think that something is wrong with you and when you leave and you start to move on with your life you heal that's when you really have that epiphany where you're like damn all along I thought there was something wrong with me there's nothing wrong after all it wasn't me but of course the narcissist is not gonna let you go that easily even after you leave they will still try to control the narrative they will have forced their flying monkeys and starts me a campaign against you because they know you figured it out they know that you know that there's nothing wrong with you which means there must be something wrong with them and they don't want you going around telling everyone that and even if you don't tell anyone that you're still going off and becoming successful in your life without them which is enough to reveal to everyone that you were not the problem it reveals to everyone that it was the narcissist all along and that's why they have to control the narrative they have to start the smear campaign because it's either that or their false self is at risk their image their reputation which is always going to be more important to them than you as I've said before in some of my videos at the end of the relationship the narcissist really has two choices they can choose between you their source of supply or their false self and no narcissist is gonna choose their supply because that's the whole point of the disorder it's that they're in survival mode they're doing everything they can to survive emotionally I mean if a narcissist choose their supply over their false self well then they wouldn't be a narcissist anymore and that's why it sounds negative but really you just have to give up hope stop expecting things to change just look at their actions look at how they're leading you along they're keeping you on this hamster wheel but you're doing all of this work but you're getting nothing to return you're not getting the results just look at how long this has been going on for whether it's been one year five years ten years however long it's been do you really want to wait that much longer to see if things are going to change I mean you know you can look at the other side of the coin as well okay let's say maybe there were one or two incidents even ten incidents you know a few occasions maybe I went on for a few weeks a few months whatever okay maybe things could change then but when it goes on for years and you don't see any progress whatsoever no progress at all the person they are today is the same person they were five ten years ago that person is never going to change if they're still doing the same actions they were doing five or ten years before you've just got to give up hope then you should know that you are dealing with a narcissist because if you weren't there would be some change especially when you're bringing this stuff to them when you're putting this stuff in front of them they should look at it okay maybe you won't see some change overnight but after a few months a year you've got to see some change by then once they've started to know about this stuff and understand it they should know what they need to do thanks for the nation team of wema but yeah I mean everyone goes through phases we've all had a time in our life we've done things we're not proud of but you get out of that you move on from it you move on to bigger and better things that's normal everyone goes through that especially when we're younger but these people it doesn't matter how old they get 30 40 50 years old they're still doing the same thing it never stops and that's how you know nothing's ever going to change they're always going to be that way that's just the disorder because the very things that they do need to change are the very things that they tune out the most they won't let that into their heads because in their minds that's manipulation that's you getting one over on then they just see that as though they're just giving you the advantage so by default all they can do is just be fake manipulative and deceptive until the day they die but I would like to finish that on a positive note so I just like to say don't worry about these narcissists don't worry about the validation you don't need it and anyway you'll never get it because they haven't got anything to give but not only that stop thinking that there's something wrong with you there isn't anything that's wrong with you I can guarantee it came from them the source of it was not from you so you're okay all you need to do is move on and heal from it you can change you can be better greater than you were before you met them so don't worry about that and you're in safe hands all of the people in here the youtubers the psychologists they're all good people and we can all learn a lot from them and we can all be better people we can all learn to protect ourselves from these types of individuals so yeah keep watching the videos I recommend speaking one-on-one to a therapist as well and I'm also available for coaching so go to my website if you're interested in that it's www.narcsurviver.uk and yeah I'd just like to thank you all for joining me on this live video today out by the waterfall just remember you can grow you can change don't let these people bring you down life's too short for that again thank you all and have a good day