 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program brought to you by Jell-O and Jell-O Pudding starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with Free For All. And everywhere, folks are praising Jell-O's wonderful new locked-in flavor. They're finding the Jell-O's six delicious flavors are now more delicious than ever, thanks to Jell-O's new process of locking the flavor right into the tiny Jell-O particles. Up until now, gelatin desserts lost flavor all the time they spent in the package. Often by the time you use them, you found their flavor had faded and become flat. And sometimes the desserts you made with them just missed being as good as you had expected. But today, Jell-O has changed all that. No more fading flavor. Every last bit of Jell-O's original richness is locked into Jell-O's crystal-like particles for keeps. And time can't touch it, can't steal it any of it away. Your next package of Jell-O will prove it. Just open the package. Notice there's no heavy fruity aroma. No sign of escaping flavor. But the instant you dissolve the Jell-O, you unlock its captive flavor, and out it rushes in all its booze-grilling goodness. Order several packages of Jell-O tomorrow. The flavor never goes away. We put it in, and it's there to stay. Bring you our versatile master of ceremonies who started work this week on a new motion picture. Yes, sir. A man who has as much at home in front of a camera as he is before a microphone. Like you said, I'm versatile, safe. A man who has a profile like John Barrymore, and have you seen him lately, Jack Benny. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and chubby. You can rip me about it all you want to, but it sure feels good to be making a picture again. I tell you, Don, that's really my racket. Well, Jack, I must admit that I do enjoy you on the screen immensely. I really got a big kick out of your last picture, you know, the one you made with Fred Allen. With Allen? Wait a minute, that wasn't my last one, Don. See, I made Charlie's aunt after that. Remember when I was dressed like a lady? Oh, yes. Well, to tell you the truth, Jack, I didn't get to see that one. You didn't see Charlie's aunt? No, I meant to. But somehow I just didn't get around to it. By the way, Jack, who's the director of your current movie? Is it someone you've had before or somebody new? Hmm, didn't get around to it, eh? Now, look, Don, I hesitate bringing it up right now, but you've been on this program eight years, and you know our rule about not seeing my pictures. So what about it? Oh, yes, Jack, I forgot. Here you are. Thanks. Now, I hate to do this, Don, but if I make an exception of you, they'll all expect it, you know, rules is rules. Anyway, answering your question. Oh, here's your change, Don. Thanks. Answering your question, the director of my latest screen vehicle is none other than Lubich. Ernst Lubich. Lubich, well, that's wonderful. That's a great break for you, Jack. It is? Why, certainly. You know, there's a saying in Hollywood that Lubich can even make a lamp post act. Don. Don, any resemblance between me and a lamp post is purely coincidental. I'm slim, yes, but that's all. Anyway, Don, as I was saying, it sure feels good to be in front of a camera again. Right back where I belong. What was that? Oh, hello, Mary. Hello. What was that you said? I was telling Don, I'm very happy. Right back where I belong. Oh, selling suits, eh? I mean pictures. I'm making a movie. Oh, that's right. You haven't sold a suit since you worked in your father's store in Waukegan. Of course. That's over 20 years ago. The one you're wearing held up nice. Mary, one thing about my father's merchandise, it lasted and lasted. In fact, Dad used to have a slogan, buy this suit, and you'll get sick of it. We sold plenty of them that way. Well, I'll have to admit, Jack, that outfit you're wearing is very snappy. Certainly. How do you like the pants? Get a load of the cuffs. You look like puss in boots. My feet get cold. I roll them down. I can go along with a gag, sister. And incidentally, Mary, instead of coming in here with those wisecracks, why don't you congratulate me on the start of my new picture? You know, Carol Lombard is my leading lady. Oh, boss, come now. I'm not kidding. Carol Lombard is my love interest. Lombard and Benny, hey, that's quite a team. Have you many romantic scenes with her, Jack? Yes, lucky girl. Imagine. So look, imagine. I make love to her all day long, and then at 6 o'clock, she drives home to Gable. But say that Gable is a pretty good leading man himself. He's no slouch. Oh, Jack, you're just as attractive to women as Clark Gable any day. Well, I wouldn't say that, Mary. That's sweet of you, but Clark is a pretty handsome guy, you know. Aw, you're just being modest. You don't hear women talk about you like I do. Mary, stop. I'll admit I'm not homely, but what do the women say about me? You ask for it, brother. Never mind. You always have to start something, don't you? Always. Say, Mr. Benny, I heard you talking before, and you think Carol Lombard is pretty good looking, don't you? Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello. Uh, what was that you said? I forgot now. What a brain, Dennis. You said something about Carol Lombard being very good looking. Oh, yes. Well, I go with a girl that's better looking than any movie star you ever saw. Oh, you go with a girl that she is? Well, say. What's her name, Dennis? Phil McGray, Crescue 7071. Oh, well, you didn't have to give me your telephone number. I might as well. You'll force it out of me later. Now, hold on, young man. When did I ever threaten you to get a girl's phone number? Remember in New York when you took me to the top of the Empire State Building? Never mind. And you held me over the edge by one leg? I was just showing Al Smith how strong I was. Anyway, you're lucky you didn't go out with that girl. You've still got your watch. Well, so much for your love life, kid. Now, how about a song? OK. I'm going to sing, Carry Me Back to the Lone Prairie, and I dedicate it to the Palm Springs Bakeros. Who carries you, little squealer? Go ahead with your song, Crescue 7071. I must remember that. Hold it a minute. Answer the phone, Mary. OK. Hello? Jell-O program? Why aren't you listening to it? Mary, find out who that is. Hello? Hello, this is Barton speaking. Belly last Barton. His grandma's just a second. It's for you, Jack, it's that kid you hired for a gag man. Oh, oh, Belly, huh? Oh, hello, Belly. What's on your mind? Listen, you can pull on Phil Harris tonight. Is he there yet? No, no, what's the gag? Well, this afternoon, I told him to ask you how many hairs on a monkey's face. Uh-huh. And when he asked you, you say the next time you shave, count them. Oh, oh. Well, now, wait a minute, Belly. That's kind of an old gag, isn't it? Look, you know it, and I know it. But the younger generation never heard of it. Well, uh, well, maybe you're right, Belly. Are you sure Phil will ask me that? Yeah, and when you pull the answer, you'll never know what hit him. Yeah, you'll really burn. Thanks, kid. And listen, I'll call you up after the show, let you know how it went over. Where can I reach you? Crestview 7071. Oh, well, that's a good gag he gave me anyway. The next time you shave, count them. I must remember that. Sing, Dennis, I can hardly wait. Dennis, I must say that your voice is improving every week. No kidding, someday you'll be another Bing Crosby. All right, Don, Dennis has a voice like Bing Crosby. Thanks. I'm not talking to you. All right, Don, Bing Crosby. Oh, Jack, this one is so ridiculous. Don, go ahead. Why don't you do it yourself, you coward? I'm not the announcer. Now go ahead, Don, Bing Crosby. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time you're in the mood for attempting an economical dessert, why don't you go across Beach Street to your neighborhood grocer? Yes, yes. And Bing Home, a package of jello. There you are. Bing Home jello. I haven't talked like that since I was three years old. Oh, act your size, Willow. That happens to be a very clever idea for a commercial. Did you think of it yourself, Mr. Benny? Who else? That's right, who else? Well, I like it. I think of that kind of stuff all the time. My mind runs that way. I wonder if your father can make a straight jacket to match those pants. Mary, let me analyze it for you. In the first place, well, look who's here. I'm so glad you were able to make it tonight, Phil. Sorry I'm late, pal, but I was out in the car listening to the program. Oh, listen to the program, eh? Well, how is it? Jackson, you need me. Information, Phil, there's an old Chinese proverb that says, Benny need Harris like Apple need worm. And incidentally, that glint in my eye is Jimmy Dorsey. You know, I heard him last night. Oh, don't get excited, Jackson. There was only a rib. Hey, what's all this ballet about you making a new picture? That's right, Phil. I started working on it this week. Well, here, I ain't going to see it. Thanks. The picture isn't made yet, and already it's gross $10. But tell Alexander Corder about that. But I wouldn't jump to a conclusion, Phil. You see, Carol Lombard is in it, and Lubich is the director. Not Ernest, Lubich. No, not Ernest. The name is Ernst. Give a tooth go around. Sops on the red, you win, along with a gag. Hey, Mr. Benny. Yeah? Is that the same Mr. Lubich that directed Marlene Dietrich and Margaret Sullivan and Maurice Chevalier? Yes, sir. And Claudette Colbert and Gary Cooper and Greta Garfield? Yep. And now he's directing me. Is he slipping? No, I'm not slipping. The trouble with this gang, you're all too close to me. You don't realize I'm a good actor. Say, Jackson, how'd you ever land a big director like that? You mean Lubich? Jack held him over the Empire State Building until he signed the contract. Oh, stop it. Here you talk. You think I was the strongest guy in the world. Now let's cut out this nonsense and go on with the program. Let's have a number, Phil, before Ms. Livingston dreams up something else. All right, what do you want to hear? Music, but I'll take what I can get. No. Now go ahead. OK. Oh, by the way, Jackson, I want to ask you something. Yeah? Yeah, what is it? How many hairs on a monkey's face? Well, I'll tell you, Phil. Oh, my goodness, I forgot the answer. Mary, Mary, get me belly laugh on the phone quick. The number is Crestview 7071. You didn't forget that, you wolf. Oh, never mind. It's too late to pull a gag now. Let's see, Phil is supposed to say to me how many hairs on a monkey's face. I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. Oh, what do you want? Boss, this is the last straw. Either you get rid of Mr. Billingsley or I'm going back home to Arabia. Oh, don't get so excited. What's our border done now? Well, you know that suit of armor we got in the hall? Yes. And you know how it's holding that big spear? Yes. Well, I was watching the floor in front of it just now on the floor. Oh, Mr. Billingsley is in it, eh? What in the world is he doing in that suit of armor? This week he's King Arthur. King Arthur? Yeah, better. Well, that's just silly. If you remember the legend, King Arthur's night gathered at a round table. Our table is square. It's round now. He saw it all. It's your fault, Rochester. You know how eccentric Mr. Billingsley is. How did he ever get a whole of a saw? A friend sent it to him in a loaf of bread. That table is a genuine antique. Save the corners, Rochester. I'll take a something. Now, look, I'll be home soon. So let Mr. Billingsley wear that suit of armor. Oh, my goodness. Well, look, Rochester, I'll be home soon. So humor, Billingsley. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, say, boss. Now what? I finished making those Christmas cards for Mr. That's earned, Sloobage. Now, do them over. If you want anything done right, you got to do it yourself. All right, Phil, let's have your band number. OK. Wait a minute. Answering your question, Phil, the next time you shave, count them. I knew I'd think of it. Zowie, played by Phil Harris and his orchestra. Phil, I've got to say one thing about your arrangements. You certainly take care of the brass section. Now, wait a minute, Jackson. I got three violins in the band, and they're playing all the time. Yeah, but who can hear them? Another thing, two pianas. What do you got two piano players for? They're Siamese twins. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And now, ladies and gentlemen, see, I didn't know that. Siamese twins, eh? Didn't you see the three of us dancing at Charlie Foy's the other night? Yes, but I thought I was drunk. And now, ladies and gentlemen, yeah, couldn't understand it. I only had ginger ale. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that next Sunday, we want you all to listen in, because we're going to present our annual drama of the gridiron. Yes, sir, we're all going to play football. We're really going to kick it around. We kick it around every Sunday. Never mind. And I would also like to announce. Say, Jackson, look, do you mind if I leave now? I've got a friend waiting for me out in the hall. What? Well, he just got in town a few days ago, and I'm having dinner with him. I'm sorry, Phil, but your friend can very well wait till the program's over. That's a fine way to treat Leo DeRosha. I don't care who. Leo DeRosha? You mean the manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers? Yeah, he's sitting right out in the hall. Well, what are you waiting for? Bring him in. Bring him in. Sure, a guest star for nothing. Mary, I just want to say hello. I know him very well. Bring him in, Phil. OK. So Leo, Leo's in town, eh? Say, Mr. Benny, who's Leo DeRosha? I just told you he's manager of them bums. Don't you remember, Dennis? I bet your $5 Brooklyn would win the World Series? Oh, yes. How did that ever come out? I'll tell you later, kid. Well, fellas, here's that man. Well, come on in, Leo. Hiya, Jackson. Glad to see you. This is quite a surprise, Leo. I didn't think you'd get in town till next week. Where are you staying? I'm living over at Georgie Raff's house. Oh, Raff's, eh? Well, why didn't you come over to my place, Leo? You'd love it there. Quiet surroundings and only 10 minutes from Hollywood, and I've got a 40-foot heated swimming pool. I know. I got your folder. Oh, well, then what made you pick out Raff's place? Well, you don't understand, Jackson. I'm Georgie's guest. I'm living there for nothing. Oh! Oh, I see. Guys like Raff that are ruining the tourist business. Oh, for heaven's sake, Mary, I wanted Leo to be my guest, too. I wasn't going to charge him. Oh, Leo, this is Mary Livingston. Hello, Miss Livingston. Or may I call you Mary? I've listened to you so often on the radio, I feel I almost know you. Thanks. Gee, how can such a sweet fellow slug a numpire? Mary. It's easy, sister. And Leo? Leo, good, good. Leo, uh, Leo, this is Don Wilson, our announcer, and Dennis Day, our young tenor. Hello, fellows. I'm glad to know you, Leo. Today, I was wondering about the World Series, Mr. DeRosha. Who won? The Dodgers or the Yankees? Is that Mick looking for trouble? No, no, no. No, forget it, Leo. It's a long story. But Leo, remember when I saw you that first game at the Yankee Stadium, and I said to you, how does it look, kid? And I said, we'll moiter them? Yeah. And then you lost four games out of five. What happened? Well, you can't tell about those things. It's like your radio program. You don't have a good one every week, do you? No, but we, we don't have four bad ones out of five. Love, Jackson. You've been called bums as often as we have. Oh, I, look at, I, I didn't look at it quite that way. Come on, Leo, let's go, let's get out of here. No, wait a minute, Phil, I want to talk to him. Say, Leo, didn't I hear you, I mean, weren't you on Fred Allen's program a few weeks ago? Yeah, what a sweet guy. I got laughs on his show. Get laughs here if you'd read your lines right. Don't ad-lib with me, brother. I'm pretty fast on those answers. Go on, you don't even know how many hairs on a monkey's face. Oh, yeah? Well, the next time I shave, I'll count them. What am I saying? That was wrong. Give me that again, Leo. Come on, Leo, will you? Let's go. Georgie's waiting for us across the street at the tropics. Come on. OK. Georgie, is Raft having dinner with you two guys? Yes, you want to join us? Sure, I'll be glad to. Oh, Don, carry on with the show, will you? Whom are we going to talk to, Dennis? Mary is here. Stick out your stomach, and she's good for three jokes. Come on, Leo. Let's go, Phil. Come on. Well, Leo, I'm sure glad you came out to Hollywood. No hard feelings, even though I lost a little dough on the dodger, remind me I owe Jesse $50. But I want to tell you something, Leo. You got a great ball club there, and next time you'll be right back in the series. I know I'm going to bet on you. I'll bet on you every time you play. Visit Desert Friends, if certainly does, live up to its beautiful name. It's called Hawaiian Sunburst, and you've never seen a dessert that's more glamorous and attractive, just picture it. A shimmering mold of deep crimson raspberry jello surrounded in a sunburst effect of shining wedges of golden Hawaiian pineapple, and how easy it is to make. You just dissolve a package of jello imitation raspberry flavor in one and one-half cups of hot water, then add one-fourth teaspoon of salt, one-half cup of the juice from the can of pineapple slices. Chill in individual molds and in serving, circle each mold with the wedge-shaped pieces of canned sliced pineapple. Put a delight to the eye and a treat to the taste. So get them both and make up this lovely luscious dessert. But be sure when you buy to ask for jello, because only jello's new locked-in process gives you all the flavor always. We're a little late, so good night, folks. Did you know that the folks who make jello also make three of the most delicious puddings you ever tasted? Jello chocolate, jello vanilla, and jello butterscotch puddings. And are they swell? Take jello vanilla puddings. Why, even grandma would be proud to make a pudding as smooth and rich as this one. Its wonderful homemade flavor lends itself to luscious puddings, cream pies, tarts, cakes with cream fillings, and lots of other grand desserts. And it takes only a few pennies to buy, a few minutes to make. Tomorrow, when you order jello, ask for jello puddings, too. Jello puddings are just like grandma's, only more so. This is the red network of the national broadcasting company. K-F-I, Los Angeles.