 Hi everybody. My name is Megan. Welcome back to my channel. So today I wanted to go over some life updates because a couple of you have messaged me and I just wanted to kind of catch back up and do a little chitchatting. Now this is going to probably make some people stop watching my channel, which is fine. I know that I mean at the beginning this channel has been for fun. It's been for me and it's just been about documenting fun things in my life and it had turned into documenting the teaching experiences that I had and to be honest I thought it was going to continue that way. However unfortunately a moment happened last September that I think kind of changed things for me. Now it while it was the kind of turning point it had there have been things building up to that and then the turning point continued to like grow into something else. So let me explain what I mean by that. So basically what I mean is that I had been feeling for a little while that I wasn't sure if teaching was for me. I felt like when I went into the classroom I was not only like not doing things right but when I had my own classroom I felt like sometimes I was not putting in as much work as I should and things just never kind of went the right way and people just expected you to be awesome and perfect when you're still learning and that made it really really difficult. So whatever then that the school year ended then I got a summer school position and while that went well there was still those little things that I was like I'm just not doing a great job and there were so many more things on top of that and then I get this tutor position. Now I talked to you guys all about that last year and kind of explained you know the things going on during that. I didn't film as much because you know I had small groups it just wasn't a practical thing but I still filmed during other teaching experiences. So I get that job and I'd say about two weeks or so into it I got an interview for two long term sub positions that were going for the whole year. They were both in second grade in the same school and I was like I got this like and I wasn't so cocky where I was like okay I'm not even gonna try but like I tried super hard to prepare for it and everything like that well I go to it and I'm thinking like okay this is going fine like me and the principal didn't vibe that well but I was like okay well I got some good experience and whatever. So I leave and the next day I was kind of so it was picture day and they had all the staff take a picture and I really remember this because I was like I'm gonna get that job so I'll be out of here soon anyways so I just kind of like took the picture and like whatever I was wearing that day and I was like whatever well yeah so I get the call and we were actually on our way to California I think or something like that and he was basically like you're a really strong candidate but you didn't get their job and I was heartbroken because I was like I should have gotten that like why didn't I get it why do all these people keep saying like I'm such a strong candidate and while I couldn't ask on the phone at that moment because I was like so devastated I messaged the principal after and heard nothing and this is that pivotal pivotal moment where I think things really started to change in my heart because even though I worked really hard during the school year that feeling of like defeat and rejection and just not being good enough for this field just continued to grow and grow and kept with me throughout the whole school year and so the end of the school year came and I was kind of at this point where I was like I'm not sure and there was a lot of other things that were like you know hearing teachers complain day after day after day about their job and no one was ever happy or satisfied I mean there were small moments but for the most part like all they could do was complain and be upset and it's like no one was ever happy that you know no one ever came in was like you know what I love my job and came in with that attitude every day like and I know there's lots of jobs out there that like people don't feel that way but when I started to explore other areas like I've noticed a change a change in that kind of that kind of way of thinking anyways let's keep moving on here so yeah um the school year ended and I got a letter of recommendation I kind of did all those little things that I should have been doing and I never felt the need or want to apply for a teaching job I was kind of like I need to explore something else I need to know what other things are out there before I can truly decide if teaching is for me or not so I applied to this position at this amusement park where we live called Valley Fair in their HR department I was like let's try it out let's see what happens explore something new you don't need a degree or anything for that amusement park so I was like cool let's try it it paid way way less than what I was making as a tutor but I was like you know it's a summer job like whatever so yeah I go through that job over the summer and it was actually a lot of fun and this is where I'm talking about that people and they were all young people don't get me wrong but they all like I didn't hear one of my co-workers complain about how like bad the job was like of course there were some little things here and there but like for the most part everybody really enjoyed it and we all had a pretty great summer and got to know each other and got along and I don't know we just had a good time together and yeah I worked out in the dorms as kind of like an RA or a desk assistant and then I worked in HR where I was processing people I was leading trainings I was helping people like this is their first job and I got to help them and so yeah um that's kind of we'll stop there for this part just because things are getting a little bit long but that is kind of the first part of my life update is that I don't know that teaching is for me anymore and I'm exploring a new path and this has been an interesting journey so I'll catch back up with you guys in part two of my life updates so if this makes you guys not interested in watching anymore that is just fine um thank you for joining me on my journey with the whole teaching thing um it was really fun and I loved it but if I ever go back it needs to be in a different avenue that's not in like a mainstream classroom but even right now I don't even think I want to be in teaching at this moment so I'm just exploring something else and that is okay so I'll catch you guys in part two yay see you then bye