 Good day my lovely listeners. You are listening to the 40 Autie podcast tune in every week to explore inspiring stories and Insightful information that dive headfirst into the world of autism and mental health With all those tantalizing tongue twisters out of the way. Let's get into the show Hello everybody welcome back to another episode of the 40 Autie podcast It has been a little bit of a while I hope that the festive period the festive times haven't been too hard on you all I know it can be a bit stressful, especially with all of the social events and stuff going on But we're back again for another episode and today. We're talking to Emily from 21 and sensory. How are you doing Emily? Hi, I'm good. Thanks. Have you Had a pretty good holiday season. Yeah, it's been really nice. Actually. It's been good to have a break from work I had like two weeks off. So just been starting to get back into work this week Which has been a little bit difficult, you know for getting how to log into the engine routine. Yeah Yeah, but no it was good. Thanks cool So do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself what you do? Maybe at work and what you do on like Instagram and your podcasts and stuff. Yeah, sure. So yeah My name is Emily. I'm 25, but I started my blog on Instagram when I was 21 So that's why I'm kind of known as 21 and sensory on sort of social media So I have sensory processing disorder, which is also sort of known and referred to as SPD. I Am autistic as well and I was recently diagnosed. So in November 2019, which just gone So a little bit more about me in my background I also have anxiety and sort of episodes of depression and when I was at university I found out that I have severe dyslexia So I was assessed in my first year at uni and told I was dyslexic when I was 19 So in terms of all my sensory sort of stuff An occupational therapist. So an OT Diagnosed me with my sensory processing disorder when I was in primary school. So I'm in the UK So I think that I was around sort of age eight I've tried a lot of sort of different therapies such as like CBT so cognitive behavioral therapy and also therapy sessions within the NHS So within CAMS, which is the child and adolescents mental health service But I've also tried some self like funded private therapy sessions as well But overall, I've always found that occupational therapy has been the best sort of therapy for me So I was on an NHS waiting list for an autism assessment for 14 months So I was initially with wow. Yeah, I know I was initially referred in September 2018 And I literally just had my autism assessment on November 8th 2019 so yeah, I found out I was autistic age 25 Thank you, thank you very much In terms of my personal life, I have a first-class BA on graphic design degree So I'm currently now a graphic designer full-time and I work solo in-house at a cool company Well, I kind of think so anyway And I really love my job as it gives my day sort of structure and routine Yeah, so I've just got my little blog and my Instagram, which I've just been running since I was 21 Just sharing my kind of journey with sensory difficulties and obviously now Since November, I've been sharing kind of my journey as an autistic person too. So yeah, that's a little bit about me very cool and Obviously like being so you're diagnosed at 25. Yes, I'm 25 now. So yeah November 2019. Yeah And that's very that's very like and It hasn't been a long time since you've since you've known that you're autistic that how does that mean it's pretty recent. Yeah, it's it's I Don't know. It's been almost like a kind of weight off my shoulders to know because I think Me and my parents have always known that you know because of my sensory difficulties I'm a little bit different, which you know, isn't a bad thing, but I've always sort of struggled with things And I saw a Psychologist the year before who said that actually they thought I might be autistic as I was displaying some sort of autistic traits So that's when I thought I was kind of 24 when I first thought oh actually I might be autistic. So That's kind of what kicked off the process for me. So yeah, I guess I'm kind of late in diagnosis But obviously I kind of knew from a young age that I was quite a sort of sensory being so and so do my parents So it's always kind of been on my radar. I think Yeah, I get that and it's I Definitely because I was diagnosed around The edge of 10 so diagnosed at 10 years old With aspergers and I'm guessing that you have aspergers as well, right or my I mean my Official diagnosis is just sort of autism because actually what I didn't realize was At my assessment my assessor said that they don't actually Diagnose aspergers anymore. They don't need to turn. So I was like, oh, okay So I've just kind of been told kind of autistic and then given a level of my kind of Like needs level if that makes sense. So it sounds like the diagnostic kind of process has changed quite a bit Yeah, it's I think it's something to do with the so there's like this Diagnostic manual that a lot of yeah psychologists and stuff use it's like in the DSM 5 they just added to Get rid of all of that and I don't I don't know I feel like it's I don't I don't understand quite what they're trying to do with that because It makes it makes sense to have these separate separate sort of categories It's the difference between people You know like a few years ago difference between people who have sort of classic autism a Very very very vast in comparison to people with aspergers and people with things like PDD NOS which is sort of very small amounts of traits of autism, okay, and Yeah, it just kind of boggles my mind Yeah, it's weird that you know You've been told you have aspergers, but now it's not even diagnosed as well You know, it's not even mentioned as that anymore It is weird how they've kind of changed that sort of thing and can like drop and add things as they like is a bit weird Yeah, definitely, but it does make it easier to say I'm autistic, you don't have to like come up with a different word for But yeah, cool, and you work at a So you work as in a graphic design. I'm kind of a solo Designer in house. I work with a lot of engineers, which Is is good. They're quite logical and kind of analytical thinking and quite straightforward thinking which is actually really good in terms of me being autistic and stuff they're quite kind of I Don't know the way that they explain things is very kind of matter-of-fact, which is really helpful for me Straightforward yeah, exactly Hidden meaning or yeah, exactly all up front, which is what I want. Yeah, I get that I must be it must be good that you've you know, you found something that You are very passionate about and yeah, you're in a workplace that you don't feel out of place No, I think the only thing I struggle with at my workplace is that it's an open plan office So that's that's my kind of in the terms of a pros and cons list That's the cons but otherwise it's all kind of pros So it's very hard to as a kind of sensory person find the like ideal workplace, but I'm kind of Trying to sort of manage if that makes sense Yeah, yeah, definitely and do they let you wear like noise cancelling headphones or anything too Yeah, they're good about that and they're quite I think like a lot of people kind of tend to go into their own zones And put their headphones on stuff like that because otherwise you just can't concentrate I don't really understand the logic of an open plan office personally, but it's not great for concentration Or if you're writing something, but yeah noise cancelling headphones are very handy And you get some maybe listen like desk dividers and yeah, there's I'm kind of in one corner, which works quite well That's nice. Yeah, so they don't my I haven't actually told my work that I'm autistic I'm trying to decide whether or not to because I've been there for two and a half years and I don't know. I don't know if it would change their opinion on me. Obviously, you know It's confidential and it, you know It shouldn't change their opinions on me, but I do wonder what my manager would think so I'm currently You know because I'm quite I've only just been sort of diagnosed in November. I'm kind of tossing up What whether or not to say anything? So yeah, definitely. Yeah, I'm not sure yet, but I've kind of got you know I got my report through just before Christmas. So I could always kind of Go to work with that and just say look these are this is what I struggle with Yeah, so currently trying to decide that Yeah, and it can't it can be a little bit of a difficult thing to do because you don't Because I think for a large majority of the people in the UK they would be fine with it and But then you also have the other side where if you've already got the job and you've been working This amount of time and you're finding it. All right Is there anything really that you could That you'd like to change. Yeah, that's what I'm not sure and I'm not really sure in terms of accommodations what they could kind of You know add unless they gave me my own office, which would be great, but I don't see that happening Um, yeah, so it's you know I mean, I think if I change jobs, I would definitely probably kind of say Um from the beginning sort of thing But because I kind of just had sensory issues is that when I started that's a lot more difficult to explain than being autistic I'm finding having The diagnosis of being autistic is is a much quicker way of summing up my issues Um, so yeah, if I start somewhere different, I think I would be upfront about things Yeah Cool So Why have you chosen to be an influencer? Like is there anything in particular that That drove you to Making your instagram account and doing your podcast and doing your blog because it's a lot of commitment. It is. Yeah, um It's difficult because I'm not sure I ever like actively chose to be an influencer Or even if I'm back an influencer now, but I just sort of fell into it like through my blog Um, so when I was 21, I decided that I was going to start a A blog about all my kind of sensory issues and just kind of daily living with sensory stuff um, and I thought Because whenever I used to sort of google stuff about kind of sensory issues It used to always come up with like children and toddlers and it was all very kind of American based Which is fine. I obviously don't have a problem with that but You know these sensory children and toddlers they grow up to be sensory teens and adults and I just felt there was like a bit of a gap in the market in terms of support for You know those sensory beings that you know grow up and continue to you know try and cope in this world So that's why I sort of decided that I'd start my blog and just maybe fill in the gap of You know, I'm a sensory person and I've grown up And here's how I'm living sort of thing. So Then I sort of went on for my blog to start on instagram and kind of went on from there I guess, but yeah, I just want um I just kind of decided to start it because I wanted it to be recognized that You you don't grow out of this sort of thing. It's not yeah You know It is something that you deal with and you cope with for the rest of your life And you know, you might get better at kind of coping with things But um, not if you can't read about it online and things so I think awareness is getting better But yeah, you know, certainly when I was 21 there wasn't a lot out there Yeah, no, I think it would be it must be nice for people to you know, see your channel and um Just just going going on the fact that you've you know, you've gone You've gone through a large majority of of your life with these issues or differences and you've got a job and you settle down and I think do you think that there are many people out there who find your stuff helpful and comforting to know about I think so. I mean, I was when I first started um My blog I used to get you know little comments here and there but now like on my instagram I get a few messages a day from people who just stumble across my stuff and say, you know I can really relate to this and it's lovely to hear because When I was 21, I didn't I didn't know anyone Who struggled with sensory stuff and just to hear from people saying oh, I'm like that or Yeah, I find brushing my teeth hard or something simple like that. It's like yes, someone else gets it So it's nice. It's mild to your face Yeah, it just brings like, I don't know sensor community and that it's not just you struggling Which is really nice in terms of you know finding a community Hmm What do you hope to help to do with all of all of this stuff? I guess Just continue to raise awareness of things and I think now that I know I'm autistic. I'm I've sort of starting to I don't know to share my kind of journey. I've just written a big kind of blog post about kind of start to finish of my kind of process of being diagnosed and I feel like a lot of people these days are getting diagnosed quite late in life sort of 20 30s Even like 40s, you know, you're old people who are, you know, just realising. Oh, actually, I might, you know, be autistic so I think just raising more awareness of You know sensory things and that It's it's okay sort of thing. Um, and I think also I get messages from from parents who kind of I wasn't even kind of aiming to sort of help children and toddlers That sounds bad, but obviously they have a lot of kind of stuff on the internet already, but I guess they've got a large Market I get a lot of messages from parents saying, oh, you know, my toddler can't speak yet But what you're just what you're kind of sharing Kind of shows me what they might grow up into or what they might be feeling or, you know What they can't get into words, which to me was like really amazing I was like, oh, I wasn't even kind of looking to hit that sort of demographic But actually, you know, you don't think about it, but you know children, you know They don't have the best sort of, you know verbal kind of language do they so Yeah, and also being being on the spectrum as well. Like it's it it's a significant sort of dampener on Communicating socially how are you feeling and Yeah, I understand that and I think having having a parents having someone like yourself to Listen to and hear about what it could be like for their children. It must be really great for them as well Yeah, and that's something I never even considered that, you know, it might be helpful for them to see Oh, actually, you know, they might grow into this or this is what they're, you know, coping with at the moment But they can't get into words. So yeah, it's it's nice to know Yeah, it definitely brings a smile to my face like It's it's lovely it's lovely because obviously a lot of this stuff is for them for the most when you when you start off and when you when you're in that phase of growing your your medias and your Your channel and your podcasts and stuff. There's a little bit of a It's you put a lot of your time into it. Yeah, and there's not There's not there's not much monetary return But a lot of a lot of the things a lot of the The benefits of it come from Knowing that you are actually making a making a difference and yeah improving things for people Exactly I think that's great. That's really cool So, yeah, you you have sensory processing disorder. That was the first thing that you were diagnosed with. Yeah What kind of sensory difficulties Do you have or did you have that they sort of picked up on and How would you explain them to people who you don't you don't have any sort of differences in their sensory profiles? Um, so I guess kind of from the beginning It's kind of the whole sensory processing disorder thing It kind of exists when like sensory signals aren't like detected or they don't get organized into sort of appropriate like responses in your head So professionals sort of explain that like spd is a bit of a like a neurological traffic jam sort of in your head So like certain parts of the brain Kind of from receiving the information need needed to interpret the sensory information correctly So that sort of means that a person with sensory processing difficulties find it difficult to process Any information received through their sensors? So for me things like sort of Any of my sort of five main sensors so things in terms of noise. I find quite difficult or sort of unexpected touch and That sort of thing It can be quite overwhelming And like sometimes can kind of cause me to have a bit of a sort of sensory meltdown So it's kind of hard to explain to someone who is neurotypical but you know your senses Are just heightened all the time. They don't you can't switch them off sort of thing They're just always on and they're always running sort of really high and everything is kind of overwhelming to some extent and obviously you get sort of good days and bad days And different things affect it um, but I would say there's kind of You know the the the main sort of senses such as like Kind of touch could be really difficult in terms of a kind of light or kind of unexpected and it's It's stuff that people don't really consider in everyday life So like for example if someone like pats me on the shoulder at work or something to get my attention Like that is really overwhelming for me. But still a rush of adrenaline. Yeah, exactly. Like you say, oh, I didn't expect that But to someone who's neurotypical they they're literally just trying to get my attention and you are like And I'm like that's not okay. You've set me over the edge, but they're just like, you know Emily I need to ask you a question so It seems it's like a really basic thing, but it's so overwhelming and it's really hard to get that across so, yeah, um, it is hard to explain and You know some days I might deal with that better than others depending on like my mood and stuff like that. So I'm asleep. You've had Exactly. So as you drink or anything. Yeah, exactly. So it's kind of the same as everyone, you know people You know If they haven't had their caffeine or enough sleep and stuff like that, then you know mood can Be, you know affected but the same with kind of coping with sensory things, you know If you're not feeling a hundred percent then, you know, it's gonna Things are gonna get to you and overwhelm you quicker than they might on a good day sort of thing So, yeah, it is a weird one to explain and um, I think one of one of the most difficult things of Trying to explain is, you know, there's a lot of things out there for autistic specifically autistic children that are inherently quite stimulating century-wise so like there's There's videos of You know, we even have like therapy at the school that I work at where they'll You know give the children like pressure massages or um, have this little box where there's loads of lights and mirrors and noises and sounds and I think sometimes sometimes it's hard to Oh, there's a bit of sensory feedback there I can hear myself a little bit Right. Well, we'll we'll run with it. Um, what I was just saying. Yeah sensory seeking Uh So I I think that there is quite a big difference between having Sensory difficulties, so The difficulties of going out in everyday life like walking down the street having all the People around talking passing by some maybe sometimes bumping into you a little bit. Yeah The lights the noises of the buses Having to concentrate on a lot of different things There there is a big difference between that and for example, listening to some really loud music or Watching something on a video that's quite, you know, sort of flashy and all that kind of stuff um I think sometimes it's hard for people to get their head around why we like Touching things like touching soft things and looking at yeah nice lights and stuff even though we Get overwhelmed by our senses as well Do you do you ever find that You you have sort of a sensory seeking sort of Um aspect to it I think yeah, like you say you can have like sort of sensory seeking but you're also sort of sensory defensive at the same time and Yeah, sometimes I'll be like seeking stuff like you know, like fidget toys or you know, some sort of kind of I don't know sort of stimulating thing like a kind of like optical light or something like that or like Even just like for christmas. I got some sort of like bubble timers And they're quite kind of mesmerizing to sort of watch. So I think I do I do have that kind of seeking aspect, but I'm mainly quite a sensory defensive person But then I know some autistic people who are majorly sensory seeking And you know, not that sort of sensory defensive. So again, it's kind of I don't know There's a spectrum of autism, but also kind of a you know, not everyone is as seeking as each other if that makes sense Yeah yeah, I get that and I think depending on the person that That sensory profile can be completely different So I'm I'm quite like sensory defensive like yourself. I find busy places difficult But I only find them difficult when there's a lot of different sensory things going on at the same time And I can't control it That's that's the thing that I find the most difficult Okay, but if if I if I'm going into if I'm listening to some Let's just say like heavy metal or something. I like I like a bit of heavy metal. Um That's a lot of noise And they usually have my headphones quite quite high and stuff and It it does sometimes baffle me that I I gravitate towards things like that but I think It's it's because it's just one noise just one input If it's like a consistent noise. Yeah, I get what you mean. Yeah. Yeah, like a white noise or Anything anything like that. I I really enjoy um My my my sensory profile is pretty much um heighten the senses so hypersensitivity in pretty much everything uh apart from my uh My movement my spatial awareness So it just means that I get I overwhelm very easily But I'm also extremely clumsy and I always injure myself on passing objects No, I know what you mean. They're like shoulder shoulder bar to lamp post It's when you find like bruises on yourself. You're like, how have I done that? Like Yeah, just found like a massive gash on your arm. He's like, what? What have I done to do this? Yeah, no, I get what you mean. Cool So, yeah sensory profiles can be very very difficult and it's it's hard to find a real way of explaining it to people um I have searched a little bit and there's something that I came across recently called the autism reality experience and I hope hopefully hopefully um I'll be able to get them on the podcast at some point but they they do these sort of training courses where they teach people about what is like to be autistic and they have these rooms that they set up that are basically designed to make people very sensely sensory overloaded so I think if I was to go into it it would just instantly reflect some kind of like courtes' old beast in a system that would make me make me very stressed out but for neurotypicals it sort of simulates what it what it is like they get them to do very simple tasks while they're being bombarded with everything from all different directions and stuff and I found that very cool yeah just to kind of be put in someone else's shoes actually is an interesting concept yeah definitely I did this but I've searched high and low for something like that and I happened to come across it by chance um oh I have to have a look at it so hopefully yeah yeah definitely and I'm hoping that I can go down at some point to sort of shoot a video with them and try my best to go into that room maybe I wonder what that'd be like you know yeah and I know there's like things on you videos on youtube that try and mimic it and stuff and I find them absolutely intolerable intolerable yeah horrible yeah but um there are there are all great ways of trying to explain it it's just very hard to verbalize yeah what it's like yeah definitely so yeah you have a different sensory profile how does it affect how you live your life like how does it affect your work and your social life and all of that I think since kind of sort of uni sort of days sort of from kind of 1920 onwards I've sort of learnt to say no to a lot more things and I think I'm still learning that because like obviously in the most sort of polite way possible because I feel like I get burnt out and overwhelmed so easily just from sort of one social event you know if it's more than one or two people you know at a time um or a group socializing it just drains me so much and the next day I tend to have um something that I sort of refer to as like a sensory hangover um yeah obviously not anything to do with alcohol but I'm just using the term hangover but just like describing me kind of being really physically tired kind of mentally drained and just sort of spaced out after having such like a kind of like intense sort of sensory like social event you know because it can be really noisy it can be crowded it can be kind of overwhelming and I've sort of very taxing yeah exactly and I've sort of become a pro at like locating toilets as soon as I get to these sources yeah because you're like I just want to escape for five and kind of get myself back a bit and then go back out but it's sort of these things that you learn when you get older like oh I'm just going to pop to Lou because that's you know it sounds normal doesn't it to your friends to your mates like I'm just going to pop to Lou but actually I'm not going to the Lou I just want to go sit in the quiet for five minutes so yeah I think I think I'm kind of slowly learning that it you know it's okay to say no to things and to kind of you know it's difficult because you want to be included in everything you don't want to miss out but again there's only so much you can do without you know overwhelming yourself and I think you know a lot of it is kind of masking like you know when you're out and about you've got to kind of put on this mask or this act of you know you're enjoying yourself but actually it's you know it's a lot of effort to keep up a kind of act of you know I'm okay I'm managing when actually you get home and you're a bit kind of just pooped from it like a run of marathon yeah exactly so yeah it sounds like you get what I mean yeah I do completely yeah oh like so I used to do taekwondo okay so I used to go to competitions I used to fight and stuff and if you if you don't you haven't been to one before taekwondo halls the places where they have it the sports halls are some of the worst places for sensory overloads in the world's bright floodlights lots of people everywhere lots of people talking lots of beeps and okay it must be quite echoey and kind of noisy yeah very disorientated and it's for a long time to do these competitions go on for like eight to ten hours so it's and did you find that that sensory stuff affected your performance in terms of the sport oh yeah definitely definitely yeah there's there's a lot of situations where it is difficult it was difficult for me it still is to some extent but I sort of I know I know like the ratio with going out and doing things that could possibly be busy in a busy place to sitting on my own and chilling I think of the more that I've got older the more that I've got a feel for the how much I can do really in the week um obviously like some of my friends they like to go out and do stuff and they like to go to places sometimes that a little bit too busy for me and I just prefer to to stay in so we sort of switch it up and have a bit of a compromise and we go to places restaurants or places that aren't too um noise heavy okay that's good which is nice it's nice that that my friends can do that um but I think sorry go on I was just gonna say just being able to hear your friends in like yeah as well yeah it's such a nice thing like I don't understand why you'd go out and have to shout at your friends because it's so noisy so I get what you mean just going somewhere that's quieter so you can actually hear and like actually have a conversation yeah and I don't know whether you've got this you get this as well but um my voice is very very quiet it's almost like just one or two levels under how people you how loud people's voices usually are okay so sometimes it can be hard for people to understand what I'm saying right and I think I think of think at some having a having a little bit of a thought experiment about it um maybe maybe it's because my ears are quite hypersensitive and if I if I reach the volume that all my friends tend to reach it like it affects me my own voice like overloads me if I'm too loud that's interesting have you ever found anything like that or I think so I get what you mean like you don't you sort of you sort of pitch your own level to suit you sort of thing yeah I think yeah I'm quite sort of naturally softly spoken and I could find other people's volume quite kind of overwhelming you know saying a meeting at work or something I think you know oh actually they're much louder than I am is that you know just is that just me thinking that or I get what you mean yeah and sometimes it can be a bit difficult especially for my friends um some of the friends in the south as well because I have a tiny bit of an accent tiny bit of a northern accent I don't think it's that much because for some reason Harrogate tends to be a bit more southernly spoken in comparison to like surrounding areas but the accent in combined with the the low volume can be a bit difficult for some of my friends but it's also I think also there's as well as trying to balance the sensory stuff there is an aspect of I think as you said you you suffer with depression as well yeah and I have I have similar things I have anxiety and depression and I feel like I'm in a constant not battle but I'm in a constant shifting of um priorities so if I sort of try and manage my anxiety stay in a bit more try not to be surrounded by as many sensory things many social things and because I do that my depression gets worse because I'm more isolated and I'm on my own and I'm not around my friends and vice versa so it's have you ever found that you have to sort of try and find it find a golden golden ratio with that stuff definitely and it's a lot of kind of I don't know keeping up appearances across it all because like you say if you kind of tend to one thing like your anxiety like your mental health might get a bit worse and you might find you're getting kind of more episodes of depression and stuff and yeah like you say like kind of even just sensory wise you know you might need some time out and some time at home but then you feel like you'll get you're kind of kind of isolated so it's I don't know it's a weird cycle of kind of of you know you kind of want to be with people but you don't and you don't really know how to help yourself sometimes yeah definitely and it's it's it's also just dependent on the cycles of your mood as well right yeah some some weeks you'll be less anxious some weeks you'll be incredibly anxious some weeks it'll be all right yeah and you have to so I think sometimes I have to push myself a little bit into it yeah and usually when I go out from you know maybe just spending a little bit more time at home and chilling a bit more going out into a busy place I think for like maybe like an hour an hour and a half that that period of time is very difficult very like overwhelming I sort of I sort of compare it to being in being in like do you know like one of those dog dog pounds that the yeah yeah yeah and what walking between these two like long cages the ones that you see in movies yeah and dogs just like barking at you and getting your attention and making different noises yeah that's that's kind of what I feel like after going out into especially especially like a city or something like god forbid that's um cardio with cities lived in one for four years but cardio with cities no I get you much prefer to sort of try and take the the non-main road routes yeah towns over cities definitely yeah definitely okay um do you think so this is a bit of a different one do you think there are any benefits to having a different sensory profile because obviously you have a lot of you do a lot of art and you you got a first class in I did in graphics design which well done thank you that must have been very you know like very you know hard work and stuff so it's amazing that you you got such a great result from that but yeah um sensory like does it affect your work I think it does I think I have this ability to sort of hyper focus on things and kind of I don't know get into this kind of work focus mode where I can just kind of do things and not realize time passing workflow yeah just I think I have that sort of focus if I'm passionate about something so it's something like graphic design and I chose a uni course that was just coursework because I loved coursework at kind of A levels and GCSEs but I was always really bad at exams because it was kind of on the day spur of the moment remember stuff whereas coursework you could take the time and the kind of effort and I was always much better at kind of doing that sort of thing and I think my sort of sensory sort of profile kind of helps in that because I can just I can focus on things whereas you know my friends will be doing all-nighters like the week before the deadline but I'll already sort of be done and kind of have done even more then I you know gone over you know what I needed to do and done you know more because I take the kind of time and I like to prioritize things earlier so I feel like I'm quite an organized person in terms of my work and usually kind of I don't know at uni you know there's that kind of kind of I don't know concept that you know most people doing things last minute but I'm not that sort of person so I think in that way that yeah it's kind of helped me. That's good. I was very organized my first year but like the years after that I was absolutely terrible for organizing myself so well done for that. Most of my work was exam based and I absolutely hated it. I hated it so much it was it's terrible because I think also with exams you've got that aspect of not knowing exactly what they want you to put down so I can I can read papers and I can look at mark schemes but as soon as a new question comes up I think of a million different possible ways of which they want me to answer a question and it's just processing what they actually want you to to you know yeah they're not specific enough are they and the questions I always used to have to highlight the bits I'm like what are they actually asking me just just uh rant off into some philosophical debates about one and then go back to the question and realize oh actually that's not what it was asking and I'll be like I'll have so yeah know what you mean. Do you find that that you have more of an attention to the detail do you find that you get inspired by by things and can pick out little different ways of doing things and I think so anything yeah I think just in terms of design as well I'm quite a kind of I can pick up on things um the only thing that sets me back is because I'm dyslexic I won't see spelling mistakes and things but otherwise in terms of design and images and kind of layout and stuff like that I can pick up on stuff quite well it's just my kind of dyslexia that sets me back especially like at work if I'm designing something for like a banner stand or something I'll I'll try and get someone else to proofread it because I just don't see the spelling mistakes and I'll use spell checker and stuff but you know that doesn't get everything sometimes so yeah there's there's things that you know are my strengths and you know your definite weaknesses but I just try and put things in place like you know saying to someone else look can you just have a look at this for me so yeah because I know that um the one thing that sort of boggles me about autism in general is that you can have I'm not I'm trying not to use the word spectrum but one end of the spectrum you can have these hyper analytical completely logic driven people who do like stats and maths and signs at such a massive level that's unbelievable and then you can also have people at the right opposite end of the spectrum again who um who are just amazingly creative and it's it's it sort of boggles me a little bit on that front and I'm not sure whether it's to do with differences and senses or or whether it's just I don't know it's weird it's difficult yeah because it's always been in the diagnostic manuals and stuff that we have sort of a restrictive imagination and yet we produce things like especially you like producing things that are amazing like thanks I think yeah we're all kind of wired so differently and I know that's not exactly the most kind of like I don't know um like a doctor wouldn't say that but I think we are kind of all our brains are just that slightly differently kind of set up um so even if we are kind of dealing with sort of a neurological traffic jam as they say you know actually we are we have real strengths in other places so yeah um so yeah we talked a little bit about the benefits and a little bit about your sensory profile as it affects you um what changes have you made in your life to alleviate these sensory related stresses I know we've touched a little bit about social events and stuff but is there any specific like little things that you do just uh set yourself at ease that's a really good question I think I think I do just try and take sort of more breaks kind of daily and things like that and I don't know even if I'm just saying I'm at work or something and the office is just getting a bit too noisy I know that I can take myself off out of the office into our little sort of cafe area or even to the toilets and I know that I'll feel better for doing that I'll feel better for taking a break having like five minutes out and then I can kind of come back into the office and kind of get back to work again so I've kind of I think also since my diagnosis of autism um I've learned to be kind of less sort of harsh on myself because you know everyone else is you know working throughout the day and you know not getting up from the desks but I just I can't do that I think in order for me to work better and you know do as much work as you know other people perhaps that I've got to take those regular breaks or that time out from the noise and stuff like that so I think I'm just kind of learning to adapt to of all where I'm working or the environment and stuff and likewise you know going out or meeting different people and stuff like that it I've just got to go at my own pace and I think I'm learning more about my own pace um whereas before I was quite I was quite hard on myself I was like you know why why can't I do what everyone else is doing but yeah yeah because you see people around doing things that to you just look like really stressful and yeah socializing you know maybe they're a bit of a socialite and they go partying all the time and they're always around people all the time in the houses they're never on their own and then you also have people who just go through the daily just just go through the day just start living out sort of a normative lifestyle like not really deviating from you know go to work in the morning have some breakfast go to lunch yeah talk to some people come back home talk to your girlfriend boyfriend spouse family and then go to sleep after watching some tv I feel like I feel like sometimes I feel like if I can't do that I am also quite hard on myself in that way because I feel like there is it's not it's not necessary in an expectation from other people it's just I want to be able to do what other people do yeah and you compare yourself as well yeah oh it's so easy to compare yourself and we shouldn't that you think oh if they're doing it you just I don't know it's annoying I go out so you you've found that taking breaks and stuff can be very helpful and then I've talked a little bit about the fidget toys and the headphones and stuff those are all great ways of helping with sensory difficulties in adults of course yeah there's there's different things that you can try one of the things that I've come across recently is this company called fidget bomb oh I think I saw your video yeah I'm hoping I'm hoping to have to have them on the podcast think tomorrow actually I don't know okay but it will be uploaded like a little bit later yeah they they make these I can't really describe it it's the best way that I could describe it without showing someone would be a bed sock okay so it's sort of like a a thing that you put around your mattress and you zip it up at the side and then you get in it and it's just this it's this sort of pressurized stretchy fabric okay so it's kind of like a tight sleeping bag around you but kind of over your mattress yeah and it's it's easy to get out and you can it's it's very different to like these weighted blankets that you have where you feel sort of it's a bit muggy and warm and stuff and yeah I sleep with one every night but in the summer I can't yeah so something like that might work better yeah I find sleeping really hard and I have to at least toss and turn like a lot and I think that that's a big part of sensory stuff for me as well like trying to wind down I have to stretch I have to I cut so I can't sleep in one position and then fall asleep I can't like lay in one position conk out it's it's not never like that it's always I've got to change position about 20 times stretch a few times yeah I do envy those people that can just fall asleep like just fall asleep like that yeah me too but yeah like I tried weighted blankets and stuff but this it's it's really cool and it helps me a lot it's just like the whole pressure thing you know like pressure being quite a big way of alleviating tension for autistic people definitely that I found that that has helped quite a bit selecting it two nights so far both nights really nice I can sort of lift my legs up if I want as well just sort of bend them that's a bit more pressure on my legs and stuff which is nice it sounds less restrictive as well then yeah like a weighted blanket where you are you're sort of caught in one position and you have to lift it up every time you turn so that does sound quite good yeah it's it's really nice and I think with with any sort of sensory differences normal things can be more difficult and I think sleep is one of those things as well so we talked a little bit about what changes you can make things that you can do the benefits all that is there anything that other people can do is there anything that larger society or companies can do to coax autistic people in yeah I think I think we're going in the right way in terms of I don't know if you've heard about the like the sunflower like lanyard schemes a little bit um I don't it's I don't know how I feel about it but I feel like it is a step in the right direction in terms of you know I'm not sure if we should be kind of you know I can see that you know wearing the lanyard might kind of highlight to someone that you might need some help but I don't know in terms of you know having someone come up to you and talk to you if that would be helpful or just you know you know helping someone to be redirected around a store but I think the more aware sort of neurotypical people are the better you know things will become you know things like loud repetitive noises unexpected touch new foods strong tunnels like that list is just goes on and on and I don't think people realise that these things make us quite uncomfortable and overwhelmed and I feel like companies are maybe just starting to jump on to that sort of thing I don't think they've got it quite right yet but you know I've seen a lot of talk about like these lanyards and stuff online and you know what is you know how helpful can someone be in a supermarket but I think you know just that there's more awareness is a good thing and I don't know I don't know how you feel about it I think that it's it's nice that they're trying to do something but I feel like that lanyard thing is is geared more towards like going back to pre-DSM 5 more classic autistic people you know people are a bit more low functioning in terms of people who are more high functioning I don't think there is much that that companies and stuff can do with that I think the main source of comfort is having people around you that understand that areas are difficult like it can be very endearing like very nice to hear when someone will turn to you like in a busy restaurant or in a busy part of town one of one of your friends turn to you and say are you all right it's a bit busy and noisy in here it's like just little things like that just make it just make it not easy and you don't feel like you're on a complete different wavelength to everybody yeah just just nice tea really human niceness towards each other and compromise and I think and like you say just I find like if someone asks me if I'm okay I'll be like yeah I'm fine but if someone wants to say you know are you a bit overwhelmed at the moment should we go outside or you know the way people kind of say things you know rather than just saying oh you're okay if they're more specific say are you a bit overwhelmed or do you need to take five then I'll be more likely to kind of divulge some information so yeah just being nice to people like you say yeah yeah and if you are you know if anybody out there is listening and you do have friends or partners who are autistic sometimes yeah just letting them know that that you're thinking about them and not just going to places or social events completely ignorant of any sort of experience that we may autistic people may be having yeah just showing showing that common common niceness and asking questions about what what can be done better or differently just accommodate a little bit more that stuff can go a long way definitely even if it's just going out doing something a bit busy going to a restaurant I'm sure many people um on the spectrum can cope with it if they know that they're going somewhere that's busy for you know a couple of hours an hour or so depending on the person um and then maybe doing something a bit more chilled out and less busy less less noisy and stuff I think all of that stuff can be really helpful like especially in terms of building a relationship with them as well because if you understand someone someone's different experience then you know you've got its bottom yeah no I agree so this is this is always a little bit of a difficult question because you'll have to think back at what we've talked about okay but what three things that we've mentioned though you've mentioned that um you think are most important to take away from this podcast just for anybody who's listening I think maybe both of us kind of saying that you know we come in all sort of different packages in terms of sensory seeking and sensory defensive you know no no two autistic people are the same or you know people with asperges like you're never going to have someone you're never going to find the same sort of autistic person so just understanding that we are all different and we kind of have our own different strengths and weaknesses I think that's one kind of main thing that I would take away um I'm trying to think as well another thing um I think maybe just kind of that one of the things I said was that you know children and toddlers who are autistic or sensory they're gonna grow up to be autistic and sensory and you know just helping them to go through because childhood is difficult and you know adulthood is you know not plain sailing um so you know just being able to support your child you know through that and you know like my parents have been super supportive and understanding that's great to hear yeah and they know they know my strengths they know my weaknesses they know what I need help with in terms of living and stuff like that so that is great you know and I know not everyone has that and I know support services are a bit stretched in you know places like the UK so I know it can be difficult but if you can find a support network somehow I think that's really important in being able to cope as you know someone who is neurodivergent in the world um yes that's another thing I think I'd take away um last point last point oh good question um I don't know I think in terms of sort of like sensory aids it's it's definitely like worth looking around to see what works for you like you're saying about the fidget bum thing and me saying about weighted blankets and stuff it's it's worth trialling these things like the company I got my way to blanket from they gave me a trial with it so you know companies are understanding that you know we you want to test something out as a sensory or like autistic or a spur you know you want to you want to try something before you buy it and I know a lot of kind of sensory items are quite expensive and you know a lot of kind of people are making their own way to blankets and stuff like that so there's different options and things but yeah I think things like that are really helping us cope in the world better you know helping us to get better sleep which is really important because like you say it's difficult to switch off at night you know your thoughts are like racing and yeah you'd kind of fidget a lot and stuff like that so I think that's another thing I'd take away um yeah I hope those were two um no those are brilliant yeah brilliant and uh obviously yeah noise-councing headphones yeah all those sort of sensory aids are so good yeah I'm not sure I'd be able to function without them to be honest me either I sometimes even put them on in my own home yeah I've got them on now I'm listening to you with them with noise coming in now it's like this like being on a beach it's nice isn't it it's when you take it off and you're back in the real world you're like oh all this background noise yeah you just don't realize yeah no it's not quiet it's never quiet never quite yeah cool um so this is the sort of last question something that I ask everybody who comes onto the podcast well not everybody but specific people what does autism mean to you so I think it means that I'm different but not less so I have different strengths to sort of neurotypical people um and even though I do find things difficult to deal with in this like really sensory world um I'm learning every day to cope better with things and I also think autism to me is like a sense of community because we are I don't like to use the word spectrum or like scale but we are all on this kind of big kind of line and we're also different but the fact that we can come together and support groups kind of in real life and online as well um which I think is really kind of taking off is like a really huge thing to me so yeah I hope that's a good enough description of what it means yeah the autism community yeah brilliant cool um so yeah I think that's the the end of the questions uh do you want to give anybody everybody some links to follow up on anything social media or um yeah so um my twitter and instagram are the same they're both at 21 and sensory and um my blog is 21sensory.wordpress.com so that's where you'll find me online I'm kind of more um if you want to keep up with me more day to day instagram's probably the place to find me hmm and you have a sort of a link tree um link as well where you have your podcast on there and stuff so all of your stuff is very streamlined I've gotta say I need to take some some tips from you you'll have to show me how to do that that link tree thing yeah it's worth doing definitely cool um so yeah today we've talked a little bit about sensory things um I hope that everybody out there has got something from this episode Emily has you know Emily you've been great um and you've you've given a lot of your own personal experiences and it's awesome to hear that you're in a in a good job and you're finding new things and and that you're a part of the the autism community now so very thankful for that hooray if there's anybody out there who has any ideas for the podcast anybody that you think could be good to come on maybe it's yourself maybe have some some stories that you can offer um anything like that get in contact with the email at aspergysgrove no not that's your social media it's all good social media is at aspergysgrove facebook twitter instagram um yeah get in contact with the email aspergysgrove at gmail.com youtube channel aspergysgrove of course and if you want to get in contact with me about anything let me know on those those links I'll put them in in the description along with Emily's links but yeah um Emily thank you so much for coming on to the podcast have you enjoyed it yeah I really enjoyed it thank you so much for having me it's been nice to just have a um a kind of nice chat cool um yeah uh thank you very much for watching everybody and I will see you in the next episode of the 40 Auti podcast see you later peeps you can say goodbye as well by the way bye everyone I always forget to mention that I'm like shall I be quiet goodbye