 Item number SCP-810-J Object Class, Euclid Special Containment Procedures SCP-810-J is to be fed and walked twice daily by a female Foundation staff member. SCP-810-J is to be under constant surveillance. All banks within a 5 km radius of Site-27 are to be monitored in the case of a containment breach. Description SCP-810-J is a male German Shepherd capable of American English speech. Any male identifying person will perceive all statements made by SCP-810-J as true, and will not perceive SCP-810-J's behavior as unusual in any way. SCP-810-J will not engage in conversation on any subject, other than whether or not the other participant is willing to lend SCP-810-J $5,000. SCP-810-J will regurgitate a small porcelain figurine of a stylized toadstool, designated SCP-810-J-1, and offer it as collateral for the exchange, if the approached individual appears uninterested. If the individual questions SCP-810-J's ability to repay the debt, SCP-810-J will claim that its father, Mick Jagger, will be perfectly willing to co-sign. Though males may believe these statements do the SCP-810-J's anomalous properties, SCP-810-J does not seem to increase an affected individual's willingness to lend money. Affected individuals will, however, attempt to convince others to help SCP-810-J, often being the primary subject of conversation for up to 3 hours under exposure. Interviewed SCP-810-J Interviewer Dr. Patricia Wack Begin log Hello SCP-810-J, how are you today? I'm just fine, I kept her as a small matter I think you could help me with. If this is about $5,000, that's all I need from you, look, my dad, Mick, you know Mick right? Give me shelter, paint it black, call him up right now, he'll tell you, I need the money bad, throw me a bone here. SCP-810-J we've contacted Mr. Jagger, and he claims to have no relation to you, as was expected. Old dad, drugs really got to him, look, here, I'll make you a deal. SCP-810-J regurgitate to SCP-810-J1 No, not again, we just cleaned in here. See this? You get to keep this, till I get you the dough back. This is going nowhere, someone, get a clean up crew in here. End log Closing statement, the value of SCP-810-J1 appears minimal, and it seems to serve no function other than a bargaining chip for SCP-810-J. More research is clearly required as to why SCP-810-J values it so highly, or what it believes its purpose to be. Come on, I thought you would have figured it out by now, it's a knick-knack patty whack give the dog a loan, his old man's a rolling stone. Right there at there, John Keller, cut damn this one.