 that narcissists kindness is not genuine. It is not sincere or authentic. It does not regard what they genuinely feel or believe. Narcissists are dishonest and hypocritical. They are prone to behaving in an untrustworthy, deceitful or insincere way. They intend to mislead or to deceive you. They will deliberately try to make you believe something that is not true, such as them being kind or considerate for their own personal gain. They intentionally give a mistaken impression. They behave in a way that suggests that they have high standards, find personal qualities or high moral principles. But this couldn't be further from the truth. It is an act and it is designed to seduce you and secure you as a source of supply. The narcissists might act as though they are kind or considerate, especially when you first meet them or if you are planning on leaving. It feeds their ego. It feeds their self-worth, self-esteem and self-importance. It makes them feel as though they are important, as though they are something significant or valuable to you, as though they are someone that you can depend on, someone that you can trust or rely on, which then gives them the ability to control you and determine your behaviour with a course of events in your life. The narcissists is very insecure. They have low self-worth and low self-esteem. They feel as though they are inadequate, as though they are worthless and insignificant. They have to provide some kind of service to portray themselves as being something of value or significance. They need to feel as though they are wanted or required. It makes them feel important. They have to make it seem as though they are worthy or deserving of your time. They have to make it seem as though they are someone that you would want to be around. They have to do all of this because underneath it all, they are very boring. They are not fun or interesting. Their personality is completely fake and it is only designed to deceive you. It was created as a way for them to obtain attention and admiration. But it's not who they really are and it's not what they're really about. The most important or essential part of their personality is missing. There is no real or essential meaning to it. There is no solid basis in reality or fact and this is why they lack the quality of being dependable or stable. This is why they are not trustworthy or reliable because their personality is just something that they have invented in order to deceive you. So it lacks any real or essential meaning. It cannot exist in reality or fact. This is why the narcissist has to create this fantasy world. They live this lie and whenever you try to present any kind of truth or reality to them they don't want to hear it. They would rather just continue living this lie portraying an image as though they are something great but never actually doing the work to be that which they are trying to portray. Because they lack the capabilities and potential to be anything great and they have never done any real core work on their character or personality. Instead they choose to develop this mindset of exaggerating their abilities and importance. But that's all it is and exaggeration. They are just representing themselves as being greater than what they actually are. None of it exists in reality or fact so they can never be dependable or stable. They can never be someone that you can trust or rely on. Everything that they do is just to get people to notice them. It's just to get attention and admiration and if they see people attending to you or admiring you they will try to compete with you for that attention and admiration. Their kindness and consideration for you quickly disappears and then they might even forget about you even being there because they are too focused on extracting the attention and admiration from the people around them. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy. All they really care about is feeding their ego. Doing everything they can to prop up their false selves to feel as though they are something desirable significant to import. They will target the people around them and display kindness and consideration to them giving them whatever they need making them feel as though they are valued or appreciated while you might be in a relationship with them and yet they rarely acknowledge you in that way. They rarely display any kindness, consideration or respect to you because it's not real. It's not genuine. And if you are with the narcissist you have probably figured that out by now. But the other people around the narcissist may not be aware of this. So if the narcissist can trick or deceive these people into validating their false self and the illusion that they are trying to portray it feeds the narcissist's ego and boosts their self-worth, self-esteem and self-importance. When the narcissist pretends to be kind or considerate it's just to get attention or admiration. They want to be seen as someone who is pleasant, friendly and easy to talk to. When you interact with the narcissist who is pretended to be kind or considerate you may feel as though you are developing a close and harmonious relationship. You may feel as though you understand each other's feelings or ideas. You may feel as though you are communicating well with each other. But it is not real or genuine. You may feel as though the narcissist likes you or is interested in you. But they don't even care about you. They are just pretending. They are given the appearance of feeling or possessing an emotional quality. They are engaged in an imaginative game or fantasy. In their minds, none of it is real and that includes their feelings. It is only designed to get them what they need in that moment. It has nothing to do with you. You are just a tool or an object that exists to serve them and regulate their emotions. Boost their self-worth, self-esteem and self-importance. They will pretend as though they like you or that they want to be around you. But it's just to get them attention and admiration. They don't really care about people. They are not even capable of connecting with another person on a deep emotional level. They see people as objects. That's as deep as it goes for them. And that's why they have such difficulty maintaining relationships. Because there's never a real or genuine emotional connection. There's no substance to it. There's no real or essential meaning. It's just a person who is trying to extract something for their own selfish needs. There's no basis for development. Which is why it is only a matter of time until it all falls apart. Because it was never built on anything real or genuine. It was never built on any real or genuine ideas or emotions. They are not about giving anything to you. It's only to get something from you. Whether it's your attention, admiration, money, material items or sex. There is something that they are getting out of it and in return they fulfill that action or serve their purpose in this transaction. Because that's all it is. It's a sale or a transaction. It's an exchange of goods or services because they are only pretending that they like you. They are only pretending that they are interested in you. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries can email me at narksforthercoaching.com. Check out the Merchant Dykes in the Narks Forever store. We purchase our own Narks Forever t-shirt tank top or mug. The link is in the video description. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.