 Jesse and I had an unrelated falling out at the beginning of 2004t, 2000, 2014t? Okay, all right, in regards to the Jesse smiles and Gabby Hannah situation, today we're gonna talk about the very important topic of learning how to let go. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and sometimes what I do is I take different topics going on in the YouTube community and rather than just looking at the gigantic mess that's going on, I try to take this mess and turn it into a message because there's always something that we can learn from it. So if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. And in case you missed it, my last video about Spill hitting one million subscribers for all of you out there who entered my Shane Dawson Palate giveaway, I announced the winner in that video. So that'll be linked down in the description down in the pinned comment, go check that out. And for everybody out there, make sure you're following me over on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul because I am doing one more Shane Dawson conspiracy palette giveaway, all right? So make sure you're following me on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul so you stay up to date for when that giveaway happens. All right, cool, let's jump into this thing. All right, so yesterday I made a video about Jessie Smiles talking about, you know, her falling out with Gabby Hammond, how hurt and betrayed and everything like that, how she felt about the situation. So if you want, go watch that video, okay? But if you're new here, my videos are not just about talking about these situations, they're about us learning from them. I mentioned this in the video I did about Spill. Like the only reason I am alive today is because I learned from the successes and the mistakes of others, all right? Seven years ago I was dying from a drug addiction. So I had to start learning from other people. So when I watched this stuff, I try to see what we can learn from it, all right? So to kind of like come back and, you know, give some context to this topic. When I watched Jessie Smiles video, like I had no idea who she was, her friendship with Gabby Hannah, anything like that. But as I watched it, I was like, huh, when did this happen? Like were you guys friends like last year or whatever? Because I've never heard of Jessie Smiles. I'm just not in that corner of YouTube. You know, I just found out about Gabby Hannah like last year, you know what I mean? So I was like, when did all this happen, right? And Gabby Hannah just released a statement where she replies to Jessie Smiles video and she also replies to Deanna. All right, if you wanna go check it out, it's over on Gabby's Twitter. I'm not gonna read the entire thing. All right, but this answered my question of when this all went down, all right? 2014, okay? So let's have a conversation real quick. And this is one of the most valuable lessons that I've ever learned, okay? And it's how to let stuff go, okay? Because here's the thing, holding on to anger and resentment. I was taught this a long time ago. It's like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. Do you know how much time? How much time we spend sulking and thinking about all these old situations? In fact, this is something that I learned from one of the 12 step programs I was in. So hold on, let me grab my book and read this to you. All right, for those of you who know what book I'm reading from, it's page 66, all right? This was part of my fourth step, which is all about resentments. But when I got to the second half of my fourth step, what my sponsor had me do was take these sentences and turn them into questions, all right? And this one slapped me in the face like a bag of bricks. It says, it is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile? All right, so I had to turn that into a question in my step work and I had to ask myself like how many hours have I squandered resenting someone and that time could have been worthwhile? Like those of you who don't know me, like one of the reasons one of my first mental health books was Rewire Your Anger was because I had so many anger management issues, right? I could hold on to a grudge like you wouldn't believe. I can get this kung fu grip on something that happened years ago. So in your fourth step, you write down all of your resentments, right? From as far back as you can remember, you write down the resentments that you still have, okay? I was writing down stuff and I did this when I was 27 years old when I first got sober. I'm writing about people from middle school, all right? I'm writing about kids in middle school that I still had resentments towards, okay? Like that is bananas. So anyways, when I read that part of the book and I asked myself how many hours have I squandered? I was like, oh my God, right? Because it says that could have been spent on something worthwhile. How much time have I spent being angry at people, places and situations and that time could have been better spent with my son, with my girlfriend, with my friends, with my family, at my job, right? What about all those nights? Like you might be able to relate to this. How many nights have you laid awake being angry at somebody else, right? Like when I started to quantify how much time I spent being angry at people, I probably took years off my life. And when you think about it, laying in bed, being resentful at somebody else, like that other person is wherever the hell they are just sleeping like a baby, right? So like when I saw that, I was like, what am I doing? Like a question I always ask myself when I'm holding on to something, when I'm holding on to an emotion or a thought or whatever it is, I'm like, is this useful to me, right? Is this helping me? Is this hurting me? We all have this person that we want to become, right? Is this thing is holding on to this, bringing me closer to that person I want to become or bringing me further away, right? Now, also in this beautiful book, it talks about how we do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, right? I'm not saying to pull like a men in black mind eraser on yourself. Like we remember those things but we don't hold grudges on those things because everything is a learning experience. I talked about this in my Jacqueline Hill video from the other day. There are no losses, there are only learning experiences, okay? So I want you to think about this because this is something we talked about in the last video about Jesse Smiles and Gabby Hannah, all right? Like we're talking about five years ago holding onto this thing and then coming out and doing this, right? You guys, you see it all the time on YouTube and it hurts my soul. It hurts my soul that so many of us just sit back and watch this stuff go down and don't learn a damn thing about it, right? Like remember Tati Westbrook? Anybody hear about her and that little thing that happened with James Charles? Like she was holding on to these resentments like from her birthday and from throughout the year and she let them all pile up and then she made this epic by sister video that just created the hugest YouTube drama of all time, right? And it's all because of holding on to that anger and again, is it helping you or is it hurting you? Like I am letting stuff go on a regular basis. This is reason number 948 why you need to practice mindfulness, all right? I was taught a long time ago mindfulness for those of you who aren't down with it yet, it's about letting things go repeatedly over and over and over and over and over and over again, right? One of my old meditation teachers, he talked about how it was like holding a hot coal in your hand, right? And as we start practicing mindfulness, we start getting better at letting that coal go. We don't hold on to it and just keep burning ourselves. So when we start sitting in this moment to moment awareness and letting stuff go, we're dropping it instantly. You know what I mean? Rather than holding on to this stuff. Like I have had a rough year and like I talked about in my last video, we all have our own perceptions of different situations. We're all the hero of our own story, right? My crazy mind wants to hold resentments against everybody who hurt me, right? Or who I perceived as hurting me, but it's not doing me any damn good. So I gotta let it go and move on, all right? So the argument may be like, Chris is therapeutic to vocalize this and process this. And all of that, get a therapist, all right? Like airing this stuff out publicly, it doesn't make anything better. I have had so many missteps. And when I watch this, all this stuff go down. I try to look at it and like I'm embarrassed of some of the actions I took this year, some of the things that I made public that I shouldn't have because in my mind, I was like, you know what? This is gonna be epic. I'm gonna feel vindicated. It's gonna be amazing. It didn't do anything, but make me look like a complete jackass. You know what I mean? And sometimes we gotta do that. Sometimes we gotta be like, all right, all right. Yeah, I know you think it's a bad idea for me to do this, but I gotta do it myself. Like sometimes we just gotta, we gotta touch that hot snow for it so we can't just believe them. You see what I mean? So like for you, right? I'm guessing, I'm just gonna guess real quick that you're not a huge YouTuber with a million or so subscribers, but how is this affecting your normal life? Think about your Facebook page, right? Are you on there just like talking like every once in a while just blowing up and outing some family member or friend on Facebook and getting all this stuff out there? Like the stuff you're watching on YouTube is happening in your life on a daily basis. Are you learning from it? Or are you just mindlessly watching it? You know what I mean? So take from this, like who came at the winner in this? Who came out the winner in this thing, right? Like Jesse probably felt better when she did it, but I guarantee she's gonna regret it, right? Same thing with Tati Westbrook. Tati sat down and made that video. She felt so good, so good making that video. Can you go find the video? You can't, because she deleted it, all right? So think about this. The last thing I'll say is something that I'm trying to do more of, and I'll talk about this in another video or mental health blog in the future, but I was just reading a book, actually it's called The Food Therapist because I'm trying to slim down a little bit, but it talked about when making decisions, ask yourself how it's gonna impact your future self, because we are so caught up in instant gratification and making decisions right now. I'm trying to slow down and be like, okay, will Chris in a year from now be happy that I made this decision? You know what I mean? Because when we start thinking in those terms, we stop doing these things that are so based on emotions and impulsive. So I recommend that you give that a try too, but anyways, before I let you go, again, watch the last video, I announced the winner of the Shane Dawson Palette, but also make sure you check out my pinned tweet and my recent Instagram posts. I'm starting this massive mental health support community project thing and I need some volunteers. I'm already getting some emails about it, so make sure you go check that out and if you wanna help out with this project, do something good, help a lot of people, hit me up, baby girl. All right, but anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up if you're new. Make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and a huge, huge thank you to everybody who supports the channel over on Patreon as well as everybody who supports the channel by buying my mental health books or merch, all that good stuff. I appreciate you. All right, thanks again for watching. Learn to let some stuff go and I'll see you next time.