 Hi, I'm Matthew Coast, head dating coach and founder at commitmentconnection.com. So yesterday we talked about the number one rule for attracting and keeping a man. And so today I wanna tell you about the biggest obstacle, the number one obstacle that you're gonna face when it comes to finding the love life that you've always wanted to have. And so there's a lot of things right now that are against you in our society. So one of the big things that's going on right now is we have this hookup culture thing that's going on where everybody's just like hooking up with each other and you just swipe right, you hook up. And I think that's a trend and I think it's gonna go away but it's really, really difficult for a lot of people because of how easy it is for somebody to just get a hookup whenever they want to. And I think a lot of women are really devaluing themselves as human beings by making it just this free for all sex-capade thing that they've got going on. You know, obviously you're welcome to do whatever it is that you wanna do. But I don't think that just hooking up with a guy and just having this giant free for all hookup thing is good for women in our society long-term. And I'll talk more about that tomorrow. But here's the thing. So the hookup culture is not your biggest obstacle between you and finding and attracting the right guy and keeping them in a great committed relationship. That's not your biggest obstacle at all. And it's not even commitment phobic men and it's not all the horrible dating advice and dating advice scams that are out there, which there's a lot. There are a lot of scams out there of people just giving horrible, horrible dating advice. That's not the problem at all. The biggest obstacle that you're gonna face is actually how you approach relationships. Now, let me explain. After working with just thousands and thousands of women, I've determined that there are really two types of women out there. The first type of woman is someone who I call the settler. And women that are settlers, are women that believe that a relationship is either just perfect or it's just not meant to be. And that they feel like finding the right guy actually happens through chance or luck. I call this woman the settler because these types of women typically end up settling for a man and a relationship that they don't actually want because they have this kind of thing of pretending when they're around their friends and their family because they're so scared of having some type of conflict in the relationship that they avoid conflict at all costs and they end up getting themselves into a really bad situation. Many times it ends up blowing up in their faces. And so there's a second type of woman and this woman is someone that I call the creator. And these creator women believe that it takes skill and effort in order to find the right guy and make things work with him. And they believe that this skill can be developed over time. And so here's the thing. If you're the first type of woman, the settler, the woman that believes that it's either just perfect or it's not meant to be, I have some really bad news for you. In fact, here's what you should probably do. If you're really one of those women, you should probably just go and unsubscribe from this email list right now, just leave our community because there's not really much that I can do to help you. And on the other hand, if you're a creator type of woman, if you're the second type of woman, if you're the type of woman that thinks that or believes that it takes skill and effort and work in order to attract and keep the relationship that you want, then you're exactly in the right spot. So for most men, and I'm gonna talk more about this later, but for most men, staying in a committed relationship isn't just about choosing a woman and then going along with it. It's about continuing to experience certain emotions that make him feel like he's in the right relationship, that he's with the right woman and going deeper into that relationship in a way that allows him to open up and connect with you in a deeper and more fulfilling and satisfying way. Now there are some women out there who just naturally get this stuff and maybe you've seen them, maybe you know some of them. And it's like they just intuitively know how to connect with a man in the right way that makes him wanna pursue her and lead her into a committed relationship. And I really believe this is how things should go. But as you know, not all women just understand or just know how to connect with a man in this way. It only works if you trigger the right emotions in a man and he continues to experience those emotions in a relationship. And the reason that most women don't really know this is because there's so much conflicting information out there, so schools, parents, the media, they all send us these different signals and these difference and some people are fortunate. They grow up in a family where they have functioning parents where they have functioning relationships where they're kind of taught almost through like osmosis how to connect with members of the opposite sex. But there's so much confusion out there right now that it's like, it's not very surprising if you don't know what's going on or you're having troubles connecting with a guy or you're having problems keeping a guy interested in you. It's perfectly natural and normal in the way that our society works right now because of how things are shifting and how things are changing. So for a lot of women, instead of creating a happy, loving, lasting relationship, they end up feeling really frustrated, alone and angry at themselves, angry at men. And the reality, but here's the reality. The reality is that any woman can really learn the skills to connect with a man in the right way and quickly improve her dating life and create a relationship with one special man that makes him want to be with her forever. And how do I know this? Because I've literally helped thousands of women do exactly this. I've helped women transform their love lives and go from thinking that men in relationships are kind of this painful, like adversarial type relationship to making it so that they experience more love, more companionship, commitment and joy than they've ever felt in a relationship before in their lives. But in order for you to really transform your love life like that, you need to learn how and why men are attracted to women. What are they looking for? What makes them want you? What makes them want to pursue you? What makes them want to commit to you? And we're gonna talk about that in the continuing videos that I'm gonna be sending you here on this channel. So thanks again for watching today. Make sure, again, if you haven't subscribed, hit the subscribe button. Think it's on the bottom right hand side of this video to get more videos. I make videos all the time, so check out those videos and thanks for watching and I'll speak with you again soon.