 Why don't we turn to John chapter five? And you know, I had, I've been doing a Tuesday morning study with the men and we've been going through second kings. And sometimes what I like to do, have you guys ever had some refried beans? Sometimes it has a little bit of bacon grease in it and you mix it up and add some queso and it's good. And so sometimes what I like to do is I'll take a study from Tuesday morning and I'll bring it here to Wednesday evening. And where's Bobby? Bobby doesn't like me calling it refried manna. And it's like refried beans. I mean, they're good, right? But you know, I had something planned and but the Lord stirred something up in me that we've all read. We've all have gone through these passages, passage that I want to share, but something stood out to me. And I wanted to share it with you and I just want to share some points with you here this evening and how this can relate to our own lives and how we can use this as practical application for our everyday lives. Now, if I were to ask you guys this question, and I know pretty much most of you would answer this, how many of you right now are going through something very difficult? And the rest of us are lying, right? Yes, we're either going through something difficult, we're coming out of something difficult or we're about to go into something difficult. And again, this passage here highlights and shows us that Jesus is king, he is our healer and he's all we need. So I entitled this message, do you want to be made well? Father, we ask that your blessing would be upon this study and that your name would be glorified in Jesus' name, amen. Starting with John chapter five, starting with verse one, and it says, after this there was a feast of the Jews and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now they're in Jerusalem by the sheep gate, a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water. Then whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water was made well, of whatever disease he had. Now a certain man had an infirmity, there was a certain man was there who had an infirmity 38 years. And when Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been in that condition a long time, he said to him, do you want to be made well? This is probably one of my favorite passages in all of the Bible because I can relate to this man who's had an infirmity in many ways. One of the way I'm able to relate to this man is is that this guy is described as having an infirmity. And later on we're gonna take a little bit closer on what this infirmity is, but in many ways I'm able to relate to this man who has an infirmity from just a lot of things I've experienced in life. A lot of difficulties, a lot of brokenness, a lot of times where spiritually I was paralyzed, lame, or blind. And many ways I'm able to relate to this guy who hasn't encountered with Jesus Christ, who then meets him where he's at. And so in a lot of ways myself, I'm able to relate to this. But in a greater way, this shows us how much Jesus knows us, how much he loves you, and how much he's aware of what's going on in your life right now. Well, how do you mean, John, that he knows everything about me? What's amazing about this entire passage is that Jesus knows all about you. He knows exactly what you're going through right now. He knows your circumstances. He knows your worries. He knows your concerns. He knows your needs and your wants, your desires, but most of all, he knows you. And oftentimes we can walk through this, this valley called life and thinking, Jesus, where are you? Don't you know what I'm going through? Don't you know that I'm going through this tough time of brokenness? Don't you know that I'm spiritually in this dry place in my heart? Don't you see where I'm going through? And it's in those times Jesus says, yes, I know what you're going through. So the context of John chapter five is that in John chapter four, Jesus has an encounter with a Samaritan woman. And Jesus tells her, go call your husband. And she says, I don't have any. I don't have a husband. And Jesus says, you're right. You have five and the one you're with now isn't your husband. And he goes and he shares and he reveals himself to her as the Messiah. And right away after he deals with her and gently deals with her, she goes back to Samaria and she tells with all the people that are around her the great things that Jesus has said to her. Jesus here is the one that offers her living water. And then from Samaria, from Samaria Jesus then goes back north to Galilee and he goes and heals the son of a nobleman. Jesus just speaks a word and this boy is healed. Now in chapter five, the writer tells us, John tells us that there was a feast in Jerusalem and Jesus is going up to the feast. Now what's interesting about this is that usually the feasts are usually described to which feast that was gonna go to. But what's important here that I find interesting that the writer's pointing out for us is not so much the feast that's important. It's why Jesus is going to Jerusalem. He's going to Jerusalem for a feast. We don't know exactly which feast he was gonna observe as he went to Jerusalem and it's not really important that we know, but his main purpose for going was not to maintain a religious tradition at a feast, but to heal a man and use the miracle as a basis for his message to the people. This miracle illustrated what is said in John chapter five, verse 24. Most assuredly I say to you, he who hears my word and believes in him who sent me has everlasting life and shall not come into judgment but has passed from death into life. So Jesus is going now to Jerusalem to have an encounter with a man. And what I love about this is that each and every one of us at one time has had an encounter with Jesus Christ. There may be some here this evening that who have never even given their hearts to Jesus or have never encountered the love of Jesus Christ. And I'm here to tell you tonight that Jesus is here waiting for you. And it tells us in verse two that while in Jerusalem, they now they're in Jerusalem by the sheep gate, a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porches. So this place Bethesda, if anybody's ever been to Israel, there's a church called St. Anne's Church. It's a cool place where you can go into and you can sing and it echoes and it's really beautiful. It even, I even sound good when I sing in there. And it's an amazing small church that has this dome type ceiling and you sing and it echoes. But right before you go into St. Anne's Church, you're met with the pool of Bethesda. And this pool is mentioned that it has five porches or five porticoes that is referenced as Bethesda. Now the word Bethesda has many meanings. Some say it's the house of mercy and others call it the house of grace, but some say it's the place of two outpourings. If you ever had the chance to go to Bethesda, we're going to Jerusalem, we're going to Israel at this upcoming March, it would be a great opportunity to come visit Bethesda. But it's a beautiful place and you see that it's huge. And there are these porches that now they're ruins, but there are these porches and the Bible's telling us here in verse three that on these porches, lay a great multitude, a great multitude of sick people. They're blind, they're lame, they're paralyzed and they're waiting for this water in this pool to move. What's interesting again about this is that these five porches are filled with sick, a multitude of the sick that are described by three, the blind, the lame and the paralyzed. You know, when we think about our lives without Christ, our hearts will fit one of these sick areas. When we try to live a life that is without leading in guidance of the Holy Spirit or without leading of Jesus Christ, we can be sure that we are one of these sick spiritually. We are either lame or we're blind and or we're paralyzed. And what a pathetic crowd this is, setting all of these around this beautiful pool, all these great multitude of sick people, not just a few, but hundreds of people that have gathered around those porches in Bethesda. As mentioned, the three types of sick identified are the blind, the lame and the paralyzed. Some of these were born blind, some are newly blind, but the sightless, they huddled close to the edge of the pool hoping that someone would lead them into the pool when the water stirred. The lame and the paralyzed, these are the lame who couldn't walk or make it to the pool on their own and their only hope to reach the water was to crawl over others that were weaker than themselves. But what a pitiful picture of a crowd of broken humanity. Doesn't take much to imagine to see those weird withered, wasted bodies, the smell, the stench, the filth and the sense that the life of these old and young men among the sick were a picture of a suffering humanity. Humanity, this had to be a horrible and distressing sight except for one thing, Jesus was there. And they're all waiting here, the verse three tells us that they're sitting around this great multitude, they're laying around and they're waiting for the water to move. Now we'll get into this a little bit more, but what are they waiting for? Were they waiting for hope? Were they waiting for a healing? Were they waiting for a new life? No, they were waiting for this water to be stirred up. It's interesting how humanity in a state of brokenness will often look for gimmicks for healing. It's amazing even as Christians, how many things that we will turn to other than Christ for our healing or to be made well or to rebate whole or to receive forgiveness and healing, we turn to a lot of different places. And the common belief at this time was that when these waters stirred up, that if you were to get into this water that you would be made whole. You would be made back to renewal. The brokenness of humanity takes Jesus out of the equation and they look for human ways to fill their need. This is what a picture, this picture is of. And so they're waiting for this moving water according to the end of verse three. It at times there was a ripple that would stir the water. There was a subterranean spring that was found beneath the pool of Bethesda. And someone happened to be in that water when it stirred up, it bubbled and it stirred and they came back and they were healed. And so this word spread across all of Israel, people were coming from all over the place because they heard that this person was healed because of the spring. Someone who was diseased that would go into the pool when the water moved came back and they claimed to be healed. Verse four tells us what the common belief was at that time, for an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water. Then whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water was made well of whatever disease he had a claim that he had had. So what's the claim? The claim is that the individual who had been healed at one time, maybe he wasn't even sick. But this person, whoever it was unnamed, claims that they were healed going into this pool while it was stirred up and claimed that he was healed. So this spread across the region and now hundreds of people that are sick are laying around. What's interesting is that the Israelites and the Hebrews at that time were preoccupied with angelology. They were fascinated and were studying angels, the doctrine of angels and they were fascinated and caught up and preoccupied with angelology. So it's quite natural that a legend was born here. But as a result, hundreds of people came from the countryside to the pool of Bethesda to be healed. And today the spiritual condition of humanity is no different. So many people are sick spiritually and are looking for a quick fix. They are turning to the ways of the world. They're looking for new ideas and new philosophies and hey, it worked for him. It's gotta work for me and now there's this craze that's caught up about healings, about spiritual sicknesses that we may be going through and the world is competing against the church and what's interesting about this is that Christians are falling for this. So many people are turning to the ways of the world when all we really need is Jesus. See the common and popular belief during this time was that an angel would come down and he would at a certain time and he would stir the water up and whoever got into the pool at that time was gonna be healed. We see the same thing today. People are searching for spiritual healing that only Jesus can bring. And the belief in that day tells us in verse four that whoever went into the water first after the stirring was made well. Now the word made well is interesting. In other words, made whole. But the word well in the original language is where we get the word hyges or hygiene. And we know that hygiene is a condition or practices that are conducive to maintaining health and preventing diseases, especially through cleanliness. That's Webster's definition. Hygiene, we have different types of hygiene, right? We have hygiene that makes our appearance look good. There's a hygiene that we would use for our dental needs. In some senses there's a medical hygiene that we would use for the overwhelm wellness for our health. And this word hyges in the Greek encapsulates all of the wholeness that were made as a body that's functioning at an optimum. But yet when we take a look at this in the spiritual aspect, so many things that people look for when we're spiritually broken. So many are using methods and techniques and rituals to try to bring healing to the spiritually sick and it doesn't work. When I was preparing to study, I read about a story in India where a shadow was casted on a wall that looked like one of their many gods. And one claim, now it took us just one person to claim this, one claim that he was able to get into the shadow and the shadow healed him of leprosy. Now, no one can ever claim this man was a leper beforehand. So there was really no validation to his claim, but what was amazing about this is that hundreds of thousands of people flocked to this, trying to muscle their way in as soon as that shadow was casted, they're trying to get into the shadow so they can be healed, hundreds of thousands of people. See friends, when we're in a place in our hearts where we're spiritually sick, we become desperate. We become desperate even to looking at ways of the world to help fix and heal and to bring hygiene into our souls. And this man has been sitting there for 38 years waiting for somebody to put him in. People are so desperate today in looking into manmade ways. There's cultural beliefs, there's myths to bring about healing, but only Jesus can provide this. You know, there's myths. You guys ever heard of La Llorona? That will make you well, it'll scare you straight. But it's interesting because there was a one place, and I don't know how true this is. Maybe you guys have heard of this story, but when the Virgin of Guadalupe was on a tortilla and people flocked to it, and I was amazed by how many people were using manmade methods to try to fix a spiritual ailment that only Jesus can fix. See, we use different modern techniques today. And we're so quick and so apt to turn to these instead of turning to the Lord in prayer. We're so quick to fall for these manmade myths and rituals and these traditions that oftentimes what we're doing is we're pushing Jesus to the side and saying, Lord, I don't need you just yet. Let me try this first. And it's amazing how hundreds of thousands of Christians will flock looking for that manmade method to bring healing. First Timothy chapter four, verse seven says, but reject profane and old wise fables and exercise yourself to godliness. And now in verse five, we're introduced to a man. In verse five, it tells us that there was a certain man who was there who had an infirmity for 38 years. Right off the bat, he's described as being sick for 38 years. The word infirmity here means that he was diseased as sickness was so debilitated that he had no use of his arms or his legs. He would be crippled, lame, paralyzed. It's interesting that John points out this parallel because it was 38 years that the nation of Israel had wandered in the wilderness. And spiritually speaking, Israel was a nation of weak people waiting hopelessly for something to happen. In many ways, I can relate to this story. I had an infirmity for many years. For about 14 to 15 years, I was addicted to drugs. I used the needle for about seven. And I tried so many manmade programs. I try to bring, I try to use anything I can to try to bring healing to something that only Jesus was able to heal. I tried so many methods. I tried so many ways. I even tried the egg, right? In the back, no, I didn't, you guys. So many things. I was a man with an infirmity for, I wouldn't say 38 years, but for many years. And I'd often turn to manmade methods and traditions and rituals and would beg, Lord, please deliver me from this. I am addicted. I am broken. I need your help. Please help me. But you know, none of those worked. It was so bad to the point that my life was in so much despair and I'm gonna be 100% transparent with you guys. That it led my life. It led me to a suicide attempt. Obviously it didn't work. But it was manmade methods. It was traditions. It was ways that I was looking for that left me into despair. And I think about these people that were laying around this great pool, these great multitude of people were laying around this pool that were hopeless, that were looking for tradition, that were looking to get the water stirred up so they can go in and they can be healed. And yet it left them hopeless. And this is what manmade traditions would do when we're dealing with the spiritual issue. But you know what? As all of us know, all of us we've had an encounter with Jesus Christ. Watch this, verse six. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, he said to him, do you want to be made well? You know, this is so amazing to me because the first thing it tells us when Jesus, what Jesus does it says that Jesus saw him. He sees us. He sees exactly what you're going through this evening. He knows the pain that you're in. He knows the difficulties that you're in. He knows about the things in your heart that have caused paralysis in your life spiritually. He knows you, but he sees you. When we're going through a difficult time we often crowd, Jesus, where are you? Don't you see what I'm going through? Jesus sees you and he knows you in such an intimate way. He knows everything about you. Even when you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death, he sees you, but you may not see him. You may not feel him. You may not be aware that he's there, but he sees you and he knows you. What's amazing about this is that it says that when Jesus saw him lying there, it says here in verse six and he knew that he already had been in that condition a long time. Jesus knows exactly what you're going through. I love what it says in Psalm 139 verses one through three. Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You understand my thought of far off. You comprehend my path and my lying down. You're acquainted with all my ways. Not some of our ways, not three quarters of our ways, not half of our ways. He's acquainted with all of your ways. Jesus sees you and he knows the condition that you're in right now. Isn't that amazing? But sometimes we feel or sometimes we think or sometimes we believe. What's amazing about this is that Jesus has complete knowledge of you and of your current situation. And I think sometimes that we have this idea about our Lord is that he's some distant, far off God who doesn't want anything to do with us. Sometimes we have this idea that Jesus is in the cosmos, too busy counting the stars and that has no room for us or he's too busy answering all these prayers and he has no room for us or has no time to know the condition that I'm in. But if out of all the hundred people that were lame, the multitude of people that were lame, lame, sick and blind and paralyzed at this pool, Jesus singles out one person. Why? Because he loves him. See, Jesus loves you. He's not some far off God that's in the cosmos counting stars and naming galaxies. He is fully aware of your current situation and he sees you. He sees your hurt. He sees your pain. He sees your bitterness, your envy, your strife, your brokenness. He sees everything and he knows you. Isn't that amazing about our Jesus? Is that he knows you? And we can feel this way that God is distant but I love what it says in Jeremiah chapter one verse five. It says, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I sanctified you. Jesus knows everything that you're going through. Not only does he know it but he sees it and he knows all aspects about it. We can feel this way, especially when going through difficult times or when we're dealing with an addiction or an illness, even when we're going through being spiritually diseased. We can say, Lord, where are you at? And Jesus says, I'm right here. I love what it says in Psalm 3418. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and save such as has a contrite spirit. But this question that Jesus asks this man in verse six, do you want to be made well? This is quite a question. This man has been crippled 38 years and when I first read this, you guys are like, man, Jesus has some nerve. He's asking this dude, do you want to be made well? This guy's like, I've been in this condition 38 years. It can sound like a ridiculous question. It's like when you see somebody in a cast and a broken arm is like, hey, dude, you're unbroken? Nah, man, I just like wearing a cast, right? Or you see somebody working under a car in their hoods up and you're asking them, hey, bro, is your car broke down? No, I just love hugging my carburetor. You know, sometimes we ask those ridiculous questions. And here, this can sound like a ridiculous question, but it's not because Jesus isn't asking him about his physical condition, yes, but he's asking about his spiritual condition. And what's amazing about this is that I have learned over the years that there are just some questions you don't ask. You know, years ago, years ago, Jared and I were part of the convalescent ministry and I think I've seen Monica here somewhere. Where's Monica? I think I've seen her here somewhere. There she is. And they would lead worship. And one time, one of the leaders said, hey, you and Jared, why don't you go and sing and play guitar? And I'm like, okay, wait, we want these people to be made well. If I'm gonna go in there and sing, I mean, that's gonna be difficult, right? So we went and Jared would play the guitar and I would lip-sync. And it was cool because people were enjoying the worship. But what if I would have went in there and walked up to the side of the bed and says, do you want to be made well? I mean, what would bear the response? Yeah, duh. But I don't think I would even ask the paralytic either. If I had, I could imagine the response that he would have given me. He would say, I've been confined to this despicable mat for years. And when there are water ripples, I claw and I crawl over others. But I've never been able to get to the water. Someone always shoves me back and I've been laying here because I want to be healed. And you ask me if I want to be healed? Can sound like a cruel, ridiculous question, but not when it comes from our Jesus. I believe that this is the question Jesus asks all of us. I believe it summarizes a great problem in our lives. Do you want to be made well? There are a few things that can hamper the gracious work of Jesus in our lives more than a response to this question. We hear the promises of God in our hearts are filled and overwhelmed and warm because we respond to them, or at least we think that we respond to them. And then we hear the God's promise is over and over again. And again, we want to be warmed and overwhelmed by these promises and these cycle continues through our life, but nothing ever happens. Why? Because although we think and say we want to be healed in our heart of hearts, we really don't. This is why the miracle is so relevant and important to us today for the paralytic Jesus's question was an extremely significant question. And this is a great question that all of us must face this evening. If you're not a believer, maybe for those who are online or not a believer, I'm responsible to pass on to you Jesus's question, do you want to be made well? Do you really want to be healed? Do you really want to be truly forgiven and made new? Because if you want to, Jesus can heal you spiritually right now. But if you remain unconverted, let it go through one ear and not the other. And even though you have a knowledge of Jesus Christ in your life, it is because you choose to be a certain man or woman with an infirmity for 38 years. You really don't want to be healed. You haven't said yes to the tender, aggressive question that comes from Jesus. And for those of us who are already Christians, this is also a question that we must keep asking ourselves. Do we really know our own hearts? As we get to know ourselves, we find out more and more that our hearts need healing. But the question is, do we really want to be made well? I'm speaking of bitterness, unresolved conflict, envy, backbiting, gossiping, and all those things that lies hidden within us. Sometimes when we experience these things, we were aware of them, but didn't deal with them. We have a tendency to cauterize them and lay them over or sweeping them under the rug, but the realities are that they're within us and they will affect our lives. So the question remains, do you want to be made well? Do we really want those things in our lives unresolved? Because I believe, my friends, and with all my heart, that if we do, and we take the time to ask God to do His work within us, He will reveal those things that must be washed away, the refuse, the filth, the sin, the envy, the bitterness, all that to be washed away. But are we willing to ask ourselves, do you want to be made well? Hebrews 10, 10 says our sins are washed away and we are made clean because Christ gave us, gave His own body as a gift. He did this for one time. And we see in verse seven, this man's response to Jesus's question, Jesus's question, warrants either a yes or a no, but this man's response here sounds like an excuse. Look what it says in verse seven. The sick man answered says, sir, I have no man. He doesn't answer Jesus's question. He rather, he gives an excuse. This sick man is reliant on man for his healing. He's reliant on the common thought and myths of that day. He's reliant on the common belief and not putting his trust in the Lord. He desired to be healed, but he realized that he couldn't do it himself. 38 years of helplessness and not being able to get to the edge of that pool that he's so longed for that had convinced him that he was paralyzed and that he would need man's help. And this again is the gist of how some Christians look for healing outside of Christ. We can have a tendency to blame man. Well, I have nobody to bring me in. I have no one to do this, I have no one to do that. It's my dad's fault, it's my mom's fault. And we have that tendency to look for man-made ways when Jesus is asking us, do you wanna be made well? 38 years of helplessness and this paralytic wanted to be healed and he knew he could not cure himself. Verse eight tells us Jesus gives him a command. Tells him to rise up and take up your bed and walk. I mean, you think about this. First of all, you think of the incredible faith even though that this man was giving Jesus an excuse, this man's faith is incredible because Jesus gives him the command to rise. The requirement for him was faith and when he realized that he could not heal himself, he looked in obedience to Jesus, trusting in him. The man stood up because it tells us in verse nine that the man was made well. He stands up, suddenly he has found strength in his legs and he's able to straighten them out and now he has the power to walk. It wasn't the pool, it wasn't the man, it was Jesus. And he tells him, take up your bed. What I love about this is that this bed or this mat was this man's reminder on a daily basis of his infirmity. Every day for 38 years, every week for 38 years, every month for 38 years, this man relied on this mat to lay on and the very thing that reminded him of his infirmity, Jesus tells him to pick it up, pick it up. We're no longer that person that has an infirmity laying on that mat. Jesus is telling us to rise up. He's given us the strength for us to put our trust and faith in him, but sometimes they say, you know what, Jesus, yeah, I've been sick for 38 years, but I find it kind of comfortable here. Oh, Jesus, I don't know if I can. Oh, you know, Jesus, maybe you can come back Monday. And a lot of times we have that attitude when Jesus says, you wanna be made well? We will give excuses. And then Jesus says, rise up and walk. Take up your mat and walk. Ah, I don't know, Jesus, I don't know. This mat was a constant reminder of this man's illness. It was his place for 38 years. Jesus says, pick it up, you no longer need it. Your identity is no longer in this mat. Your identity is now in me, Jesus says. We too, if we look to Christ in faith, we can find power in our lives to do the things that we would never do otherwise. We see a progression here that Jesus commands all of us. First, he asks us, do you wanna be made well? Friends, what are in your hearts this evening that have may have caused some spiritual paralysis or spiritual blindness or spiritual lame, you're spiritually crippled. Maybe you're going through something that is so excruciating, full of pain that you have no strength. Maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's finances, maybe it's family, and you're at a place right now where Jesus is saying, do you wanna be made well? Well, you know, Lord, I've been waiting for somebody to put me in the water when the water stirs and no man can do that for me. Yeah, you're right. No man can ever do anything for you, Jesus says. I can, do we wanna be healed? See, when Jesus asked this man, do you wanna be made well? He wasn't talking about physical, yes, he was talking about spiritually. And if we do, do we realize that we can't do it ourselves and do we realize that it can't be man-made methods? Are we willing to move to him and cast ourselves upon him? See, when this type of faith brings joy and this man experienced this, whether he danced physically or not, maybe he danced spiritually, maybe he was leaping for joy in the Lord at the healing of its paralysis, how would you respond? You know that song I can only imagine? Right? Standing before Jesus, what would you do? I think I'd roll around. How would you respond if Jesus has healed you after 38 years? Well, he has. And how are you responding now? Are you living a life that brings glory to him? I think sometimes we have this Jesus jailhouse mentality that Lord promised me to do a work for me and when I get out of jail, I promise I'll serve you. Yeah, that worked out for me many times. Are we living a life that reflects our thankfulness for what Jesus has done in your life? All it takes is the willingness to be healed, but do you really want to be healed? We have to realize that we can't do this ourselves, that we have to reach out to Jesus in faith. You know, you guys, and I'm gonna close with this. I remember that day clearly, April 7th, 2006, 2007. My life had been devastated by addiction. Nobody wanted me around. I was a thief, a liar, family didn't want me around and when you get to the place where you use a needle, it's pretty hopeless. Somebody once told me once you start using the needle, either you will die or you'll have no hope. So I was that man sitting by the pool waiting. What was I waiting for? I don't know because at that point in my life, there was nothing man can do. And I remember I had been kicked out of the house and I had asked my parents if I can come home and if I can just gather some of my stuff and I'm gonna leave. Well, when I went home, instead of gathering my stuff, I started writing letters of goodbye to my sister and to my parents. And I was writing them saying, I'm sorry, this wasn't your fault. These were my poor choices. Please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you guys like this. Renee, my sister, I love you. You're the best sister I've ever had. Mom and dad, I love you. You're the best parents anybody can have. And I remember writing my letters and folding them up and putting them on my bed and I'm not gonna get in the details of how I try to do this, but at that moment, try to take my life. But before I did that, I remember looking on my bed on our nightstand and there was a Bible there that my parents gave me as a kid. And I remember getting it and right before I tried to commit suicide, I opened up the Bible and it was Jeremiah 2911. For I know the plans that I have towards you says, oh Lord, thoughts of evil, I'm sorry, for I know the thoughts that I have towards you says, oh Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope. And I said, a future and a hope? Look at my life. You call this a future and a hope, even though it was my own decisions and I took that Bible and I threw it against the wall and it fell and it opened up. But I remember looking at it before I looked at that verse and it said, my parents call me John John. John John, may this word never depart your heart. And so I threw that Bible against the wall, I fell and I proceeded to try this, didn't work. And the first thing it did after it didn't work was I got up and I'm thinking, what is going on here? I thought it happened because it happened so fast that I got up and I punched myself in the face thinking that maybe I died and didn't know it. But I was alive, you guys. And I looked at that Bible and it was like this on the ground. And I picked it up and it was at Jeremiah 21. It was Jesus friends that healed me. It wasn't man-made methods. It wasn't the latest fad in psychology. It wasn't the latest fad in marriage and family therapy. It was Jesus. He respond, this man, it tells us here in verse nine that he responds to Jesus. Immediately this man was made well. He took up his bed and walked and it was the Sabbath. Jesus is waiting for you. Do you want to be made well? Second Corinthians 5.17 says, therefore, if anyone's in Christ, he's a new creation. All things have passed away. Behold, all things become new. Amen. We're going to do something a little different tonight. We're going to have an extended time of worship. And we're going to have leaders in these protocols. We're going to see all kinds of sick multitude of the sick lay in their numpties. Through those doors there. We're going to have leaders there for anybody who wants prayer. Maybe Jesus is asking you that question tonight. Do you want to be made well? And you've been fighting it with excuse. You've been fighting it with reasons and you've been fighting it with so many different things. And Jesus is saying, I see you and I know you. I'm here for you. And maybe you're here this evening and you're going through that battle. Maybe it's a spiritual, maybe it's physical. We're going to have leaders there while we worship. And we can go, you can go and pray with them. You can go and as Jesus is asking you, do you want to be made well? So let's stand.