 For a couple of years, I grew up without a father. My mother had to play both roles as a mother and a father. With us today is a single parent who is not only making a difference in the lives of his children, but also in our community. Stay tuned to Every Way Woman. Welcome to Every Way Woman. We love to give the everyday person a voice, and today we're focusing on fathers. We'd like to welcome Marcus Ham to the show, and I wanna know what it's like to be an active participant in your son's life while being separated from his mother. I think the concept of a co-parent is one that you don't really hear a lot about in society, but when things don't work out between the parents, I think it's always important for those parents to just still work to take care of the child. How do you do that? Well, you just have to become a daily active part of a child's life. It's mandatory, and you have to be motivated to do that. You know that this child needs structure. They need this, you know, both parents in their life. It makes such an impact on every stage of their development from birth all the way up into adulthood. How do you, what if one partner is not willing to be an active parent? How do you work over that to stay to, as you said, be in part? Because it's mandatory. How do you work to that? You know, unfortunately, you know, everyone has different circumstances. It really does take that individual to kind of step up and really look at themselves and ask the question, why? Why do I not want to be involved in this child's life? You know, is it because of the mother or the father, or is it because I'm afraid? You know, maybe it's just, I don't know what to do. No one knows what to do when they first step into a child's life. Were you afraid of that? I was afraid, but, you know, the way that certain people handle fear, you know, the flight or flight, I think it was the fight. You know, it was, okay, this is here. I can't do anything about this. You know, I can't change it. I'm not gonna try it. You embrace it. It's interesting though, because so many single moms right now are not letting fathers participate. They're saying, I've got this. I can do it all. I don't need you. And I'm so glad that you're really giving a face to the father and saying, no, you do need me. Yeah, I mean, we all have our roles in a child's life. What does your role look like? My role for my son, I think, really has a lot to do with giving him a mirror image to look at, you know? He emulates a lot of the things that I do. Like what? You know, from a kid's standpoint, you know, we love superheroes. My son, he's a big Batman fan. Oh right, okay. And he calls me Superman. Wow, that's so cute. Yeah, so. Marcus, where did you learn, where did you get this concept from? Where did you learn the importance of being a father? But thankfully, I had both parents in my life. And my father played a very strong role and continues to to this day. What did he teach you? I mean, really, what did he teach you that you've transferred over to your son now? That's helped me as a father. Especially since you're Superman. I mean, Superman, daddies. He taught me the importance of being a man in the household, you know? He, even at a younger age, he kind of warned against the potential of, you know, being in a situation where the relationship may not work out and how important it is that no matter what, you know, you need to be a father to that child. And just to make a good point, it's oftentimes single mothers say it can do it all. Talk a little bit about the notion that the only man who can teach a man to be a man is a man. What are your thoughts about that? Is the Superman. I do agree to the extent, and of course I understand that this isn't always possible in everyone's life and there's nothing to be held against any child that doesn't have a father figure in their life. But I have to say that, you know, being a father and seeing the difference in what my role is in my son's life, I know that my role is necessary to him. And I know that it's gonna make a very big difference in the outcome of his future. And I think that more fathers need to take on that position and be a daily part of it. So what would you say to those deadbeat dads? I would say, you know, it's time to man up. You know, it's time to put aside whatever your personal issues are, no matter what they are, whether they're personal from your childhood or whatever is going on between you and the person in your life, and just focus on that child. You know, I love what you said about the roles. And traditionally the role of the mother is the nurturer. What would you say is the role of the father in a child's life, the specific role? Educator, structure builder. Children, especially at an earlier age, they're wild, we all know that. We know that. They learn so much in such a short amount of time when they're children. Absolutely, they learn so much. And I mean, they're following your daily routines. And routine is a very important part of being a parent on a daily level. How has that affected you personally being a father? I mean, before you were a father, you were Marcus. Right, I was Marcus. I moved to Los Angeles from the East Coast and I came with the dreams of film and fame. Having a son, you know, it became more about him than it did about me. And my focus went towards what can I do that's going to work for both of us? What's going to guarantee that he has a future and give me the opportunity to grow as well? So were you the same man now that you were then? I can say, you know, in a lot of ways, I'm not. And I say that because... For the better? Yeah, definitely for the better, you know, because it's not just me anymore. You know, I don't make any decisions for myself. I make decisions for the both of us. You know, Marcus, what's the one thing that you want your son to always remember about you? What's the one thing that he's grown in? I just want him to remember that I was always there. You know, and I want him to know that that came with the choice that I made and that he's going to have that choice in his time as well. Wow, that's powerful that you were always there. Thank you for always being there, for being that superhero dad. And I hope that serves to an example to the fathers that are watching and the mothers let him be a father. Stay tuned with More Every Way Woman when we come back.