 From Hollywood, the Hollywood Radio Theater. Jane and Thelma Ritter in the model and the marriage broker. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Irving Grumming. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Did any of you ever try to play Cupid? Did you ever attempt to marry off your best friend, or even a casual acquaintance? It isn't always easy, as we shall see in tonight's play, the model and the marriage broker. Starring in their original roles, Jane Crane and Thelma Ritter will bring you to the amusing situations that arise in this 20th century fox's screen here. Now the curtain rises on the model and the marriage broker, starring Jane Crane as Kitty Bennet and Thelma Ritter as Mae Swayze. You can find Mae Swayze on the second floor of a third-rate office building in New York City. It's an unusual business she's in, the sort that strikes most people as pretty funny. Mae Swayze is a marriage broker. If you're lonely, shy, tired of being single, see Mae Swayze. She guarantees success. Yeah, that's right. All ages, all creeds, registration fee 10 bucks. For me, I'm Al Doberman. I work for a newspaper, but I see Mae just about every day. Sometimes to shoot a little pinocchio or pass a time a day, or pick up an advertisement to put in a paper. It's so sad to keep Mae in business, like right now, for instance. And, oh, well, my name is Mrs. Jenneress. Yes, and this is my sister, Laura Hazel. We saw your ad in the paper, Mrs. Swayze. Well, that's fine. Besides, you were recommended by Mrs. Kratzer. You remember Mrs. Kratzer? Do I remember Mrs. Kratzer? How do you think she got to be Mrs. Kratzer? Thank you, Steve. I'll be with you in a couple of minutes. I got a gentleman in the other room. I want to leave. I don't want to talk to her. Oh, relax, will you, Hazel? Well, she asked about your age. You're 33. And if she wants to know how much money you have, pick up one of those magazines and ask for a key to the washroom. I still want to leave. You are the husband, don't you? Don't sit down like Mrs. Swayze told you to. Where are we? I was telling you about Miss Sink, you see. You like Miss Sink so much. Yeah, well, all I know is she called me up and she said anybody, anybody, but not that big dumb sleeve. So what happened? She said they had to go to jail. She wants the registration fee back. Oh, she said it's on everything like you said. You took Miss Sink to dinner? You're sure? Where? Nettix. They got sausages too. And afterwards we had a good time. Oh, you went to the movies, huh? We went walking. Walking, in that week? 14th Street to 3rd Avenue, then 34th Street. They like to count the blocks. And then back? On the way back, they count the blocks in Swedish. Oh, I give up. For you, Mr. Jonathan, I could never find a bride. Any man that's as dumb as you... Hey, wait a minute, sir. I got a dame here in the file. Delia's something. She was nuts for war. I should have filed her under the ancient hyacinth. Wait a minute, here it is. Delia Seaton. Oh, Mr. Jonathan, this gal was made to order for you. Oh, five foot six, fond of nature. Long hyacinth trips, bird watching. I can hear the wedding bells already. She likes to count blocks too. Don't you be at my house as usual. Sunday afternoon for coffee, and maybe a better way, you sneakers. Could they see her picture now? Oh, sure, why not? Well, maybe a better way. She's had her teeth fixed in a sense. We'll see you Sunday, Mr. Joanna, and I've got a couple of clients waiting in the other room. You're sure to say thank you very much. About Hazel, Mrs. Waysie? Of course, we just love Hazel, and it's a real pleasure having her living with us. Yeah, sure it is. But she's kind of shy with the opposite sex. She blushes, she looks away, and she just won't encourage them. How old are you, honey? Thirty-three. How old will she be next September? Well, what do you mean? Thirty-four. Well, ladies, if I'm going to be your agent, nobody's going to see what I write down on the papers. So what do I put down? Oh, I never heard of anything so awful in my life. Let's go, Hazel. I don't know why we ever... Oh, all right, tell her. Forty-one. Well, what's the wrong with forty-one? A king gave up his throne for a woman that was no angel. Oh, well, not that I can get you a king, but it's probably a fine man that would be very proud to have you for a wife. How much money has she got? Your pardon me, please. Oh, my girl's got the key. The second door down the hall. Give her the key, Alice. How much, Mrs. Jindras? Four thousand dollars for father's insurance. These are photographs? Well, those will take him last Christmas. Mm-hmm. Wish you could make it five thousand. Okay, five thousand. Did Mrs. Cratton tell you anything about the registration fee? Yeah, and then when I get a prospect lined up, we can figure out my commission then. Oh, say, I know you have a lot of clients, Mrs. Sweaty. But for Pete's sake, get her out from under our feet, will you? I thought Hazel was such a pleasure to have around the house. Well, I'm thinking about her, too. She's so lonely, even though you'd think she'd be used to it by now. Oh, don't kid yourself. You can use it just being poor, even if you're blind, I guess, but you'll never get used to being lonely. I tell you what. You take this paper home with you, see, and get Hazel to fill out all the questions. Just tell her to pour her heart out. And then what? We're all gussied up for a Sunday date, and see that she comes to my house next Sunday afternoon. From then on, she's my worry. Fards me again, a dolberman from the newspaper. A little later, May left the office to call on another clienter, Mr. Wickstead, the optician. May had an idea that may be Wickstead and Hazel. Well, anyway, when May got there, Wickstead was busy with a customer. Anybody who wears eyeglasses, as well as you do, Miss Bennett, well, it seems a shame you don't wear them all the time. Well, that's a nice thing to wish on me. It's the highest compliment a man in my profession can pay a lady. Well, how much do I owe you, Mr. Wickstead? Oh, not a thing, not a thing. It was my pleasure. Any time that friend gives you any trouble, why, you just stop them and see me. Well, thanks. Thanks, I will. Well, Mrs. Waysie? I've been having another one of them headaches, Mr. Wickstead. Must be my glasses, huh? Look, you need glasses like a hawk needs glasses. Who do you think you're fooling? You've got another listing, huh? Well, who is she this time? All I can tell you is this is just a girl for you. Nice, still, quiet, modest, young, only 33 last September. Yeah, yeah. Of course, she's a little on the shy side, but oh, she's chucked full of personality. And Mr. Wickstead, five grand in the bank. Mrs. Waysie, I'm sorry I ever signed up with you. I changed my mind. I don't want to get married. No, a man wants to get married. I'm doing all right as I am. Oh, sure, you still got a few kicks left, maybe even a couple of big innings. Then after that, you'll sit up in the park and watch the girls crossing those windy corners. All of a sudden, someday you'll stop caring even about that. When that time comes, I hope I'm dead. Meanwhile, just be grateful I dug this gallop for you. Don't worry. She's not dead, not this one. Hazel's a real live wire. Low voltage, maybe, but steady. Well, hey, will you look at that? What's that? Look at what? Up there on the sidewalk. Mr. Hornbeck kissing on a Kushner. And Mama Kushner looking on. Another couple that you brought together? Who says I did? I know you. They must be clients. You keep your mouth shut. That boy doesn't know a thing about it. You did my house Sunday afternoon, Mr. Wickstead, didn't you? Get your hair cut first. Well, right then, a funny thing happened. When May walked out of Wickstead's shop, she picked up a handbag. Only wasn't the right one. Now, you remember that, Miss Bennett? Well, she had taken May's bag, and here's May walking out with Miss Bennett's. Well, that's something to keep in mind for later on. Now, right now, May is on her way to see that young fellow who was kissing on a Kushner, Matt, Matt Hornbeck. Now, he's a technician at X-ray laboratory. Well, Mrs. Swayze, well, well, how are you? Hi, you, Mr. Hornbeck. Yeah, got it again. We showed it so bad, I couldn't even lift a flea off a poop. Oh, well, we'll fix that up. Now, Miss Eddie, you can squeeze Mrs. Swayze in, can't you? Well, I'll certainly try. Yeah. Well, aren't you going to say anything? Me? Like what? Well, don't tell me you haven't heard. Why, I'm a Kushner. I'm a Kushner? You were getting married Friday morning, over in a class. Oh, I had no idea. You mean the Kushners haven't sent you an invitation? No, not me. Well, I met Ina at your house. They're friends of yours, aren't they? He might not have seen. Two months ago on a Sunday afternoon. Oh, that was the day I called you over when you burned my shoulder with the treatment. Imagination. I wasn't even ready. Oh, and sweet little Ina Kushner. I bet you left with Ina. I sure did. She came. She had me over to their house the very next night. Here, look, take this invitation. 11 a.m. Friday. Hotel Lorraine. Hmm. Well, you're sure traveling first class, Mr. Hornbeck. Oh, they got big plans for me. Mr. Kushner wants to set me up in my own land. You don't say. Madison Avenue, right in the middle of the Hypercondriac Belt. Well, you better get an examination room. I'll see you in a few minutes. Hey, I'll tell the Kushners you're coming over. No, no, don't bother. I'll be calling them myself. I'll help you, Mrs. Swayze. Just put your thing. You know, kid, I think I'll skip it today. I feel better already. Well, I thought you... Matter of fact, I'm cured. Hi, Doverman. You've been waiting long? Eh, just thought I stopped by your office about your ad. Eh, you want us to run it straight through June? Yeah, sure. So? House business? Yeah. Same old shortage, huh? All I need to retire is a regiment of single men with a good sense of humor. Hmm. Hey, you want to sign the order for me? Yeah, I've got a pen here in my bag. You know what's the funny thing? Hey, this ain't my bag. I've got the wrong bag. Whose bag you got? I don't know. Well, open it up and see. Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess the better. Eh, it's just a lot of junk in there. Uh, a letter. Well, where's the envelope? There isn't any envelope. Hey, listen to this, Doverman. Kidding, my darling, I know I am a heel. Well, go on and read it. What? Read some of the names now? Give me it. I'll read it. I'll read it. I wish I had told you about Larise right at the beginning, but I was afraid to because I was too much in love with you. Uh-oh. I know it isn't your style to go around with a married man, but we need each other. Oh, brother. We can work it out, darling. I must see you. Please, I must. Yeah. Well, whoever she is, there's a dame who's in plenty of trouble. Somebody out here to see him, Mrs. Swayce. Custom around? Uh-uh, too pretty. Something about she's got your handbag and she thinks you've got her. Oh, well, send her in. No, no, wait a minute. I've got to put this stuff back where it belongs. All right, Doberman, out. Yeah, how about a little pinocchio lunchtime tomorrow? Yeah, sure. Bring some sandwiches. Send the lady in, Alice. Lighten them, Miss. Thank you. Are you Mrs. Swayce? Yes, I am, honey. May Swayce. Well, I don't know how it happened, but I think I've got your handbag. Oh, and I bet this one belongs to you. Oh, yes. Yes, it does. I can't imagine how it happened. Wicked. The eyeglass man. Wicked? I saw you there this morning. I put my purse down on the counter. Oh, of course. So did I. Well, those things happen, I guess. Thanks for coming by. I found you a business card in yours. You didn't look in mine? Well, no, no, I didn't. You see, I didn't even know I got the wrong present until just now. Well, I hope you'll excuse me, but I'm due back at the store. Oh, sales bill? No, I'm a model. Rustics, the French shop. No, fool. You know, I've never been in a store where they have models. Well, you should drop by sometime. We've got some very good buys in your size. Yeah, when I look cute floating around in one of them Paris numbers. And why not? I'm a business woman. Oh, yes, I wanted to ask. What does this mean here on your card? Contacts and contracts. Well, I'm kind of personal representative to a lot of people, you know? I kind of manage. That says, flip my little advice. Oh, I see. Well, goodbye and thanks. Wait a minute. Well, I have got the right purse this time, I hope. Yeah, you've got the right purse, but I think you've got the wrong man. I beg your pardon. Ah, listen, kid, let him go. I know all about those characters that go around telling a girl, you know what I am. I'm a heel, you know what they are, heels. So you did open my purse. You read my letter. It was just looking for your address. Okay, so it was none of my business. And if I saw you walking in front of a truck, that wouldn't have been on any of my business either, but... Ah, look, kid, let him go. You don't think I'm capable of making my own decisions? I know what I'm talking about. I'm a lot older than you are. Honey, when people want to alibi their bad manners, I notice they always bring up their age. Well, excuse me, I'll still be late for work. That was how the model met the marriage broker. But May didn't spend much time worrying about Kitty Bennett. May had other things out of mind, like Mrs. Kushner, whose daughter was going to marry Matt Hornbeck. But two days May tried to find Mrs. Kushner. She finally caught up with her at the Hotel Lorraine, right in the middle of the wedding rehearsal. Really, Mrs. Swayze, this is a fine time. Don't you know there's a wedding rehearsal going on? Looks real good, too, Mrs. Kushner. Congratulations. Now, just what are you doing here? I tried every other way to get in touch with you. All of a sudden, I get the old brush off. I've been very good. Well, this may take long. We made a deal, Mrs. Kushner. 500 bucks. Get out of here. Oh, just listen to that music. I love that tune. I said get out. Just as soon as you pony up. Well, if you think I walk around with $500 and not... Of course, Miss. Don't be silly. I got a check right here. All you got to do is sign it. You've got no legal claim whatsoever. I asked my brother. He's a lawyer. And he told you to chisel me out of my commission? Oh, would you please get out of here before you make a scene? I'm just warming up. Wait until tomorrow. You know there's a spot in the thing when the man says, Anybody here know any reason why this woman shouldn't be united with this fella? Well, stop it. We will continue with Act II of the Hollywood Radio Theater. Make a friend and you make an ally. There's a thought for you to keep in mind as many another American has. Sam Higginbottom knew the value of that thought. Hearing of a missionary's work in India, Higginbottom decided he wanted to do something to help the poverty-stricken uneducated natives too. His idea was to stay there a few months then return to America to finish his theological studies. But after a year in India, he decided to stay on indefinitely to help the people till their soil and improve their crops. For five years, Higginbottom and his wife, with their limited experience in farming and agriculture, worked hard to modernize the farming equipment and methods in India. Then Sam returned to America to study scientific farming. He interested many people in his Indian project. And by the time he received his Bachelor of Science in Agriculture, he'd raised $30,000 donated by fellow Americans in every walk of life to continue his work in India. When he returned there, Brahmins, princes, the untouchables, all shared equally in Higginbottom's knowledge. In 1928, his Princeton classmates paid his fare back to the States to present him with a Doctor of Philanthropy degree. And in 1940, he was named Doctor of Human Letters. Among Sam Higginbottom's keepsakes is a letter written by a personal friend in India. Your work is more than simple help. It is good nation-building. The letter was signed Mahatma Gandhi. How well Sam Higginbottom had proved that by helping others, you help your country. Now our producer, Mr. Irving Cummings. Act II of the model and the marriage broke a starring Jean Crane as Kitty, and Thelma Ritter as May with Stephen Dunn as Matt. Well, it took May about two hours to catch up with Matt Hornbeck, the ex bridegroom. She found him in a bowling alley. Mrs. Waze, well, what are you doing here? Where do you get off doing a thing like that? Standing up, Ina Cushion, at that sweet young girl. Look, I'm sorry. I really am, but I couldn't go through with it. A few days ago, you were all smiles just drooling about this beautiful one. I never said that about Ina. Ah, who's talking about Ina? I'm talking about that X-ray lab on Madison Avenue. That big, new, shiny office. Yeah, well, I thought it over. I'd rather marry a woman. You should have thought of that before you proposed. Look, Mrs. Waze, I know at the minute I hit the hotel. First there was Ina yapping about what kind of a bouquet she wanted for tomorrow. Then Mama, Mama, with those fangs sticking out. Yeah, well, Mrs. Cushion is a fine, handsome, sweet little woman. And I, for one, am proud to know her. What are you grinning about? Oh, nothing. But the only time I ever mentioned your name to her, she... Well, come on, give. She what? Well, she called you a hen ahead. Head from that old bag. Well, that's gratitude for you. First she hands me that spook of hers to marry off, and then she walks out on my feet. Fees? It was supposed to be cash and carry, only you wouldn't carry it. Well, I don't get it. What's so tough to get? You didn't think there was something really wrong with my soup bone that day I sent for you? You didn't think Ina Cushion had just happened to drop in? Well, yeah, until now. That's my business. I'm a marriage broker. Holy smoke, don't you even warn people? Yeah, usually. Once in a while I got to play a little sneaky. Well, how do you like that? You know, tough... I'm glad. I'm out five hundred bucks, and I'm glad. It's nice to see them Cushion. That wedding cake? All the food she ordered? All the special hips will be eating chicken out of our cake for six weeks. You know how to brain you. No hard feelings, huh? One of these days you'll meet some good-looking bad... Oh, I sure hope so. Lots of them. Well, no, and it's just for fun. That's the spirit, kid. Stay loose. Well, I gotta run along. Hey, listen, why don't you stop by my house sometime? We can schmooze, play cards. Oh, what the... All right, how about next Sunday afternoon? You gotta be it. Okay, I'm always home Sunday afternoon. I'll be seeing you, Mr. Luthor. Well, May's place was really jumpin' that Sunday afternoon. Mr. Johansson, Hazel Gengres, Dilley's seat in the Mr. Wickstead, the optician, and for Hornbeck, May had a whole trio. The three ravishing peri sisters. Yeah, May was all prepared. Only when the doorbell rang it wasn't Matt Hornbeck. It was Kitty Veneth, the model. Hello, Mrs. Crazy. Can I see you for a moment? You sure you mean me? Well, come on home. Oh, but you've got people here. I just... About 50-50. Well, I better come back some other time. They'll keep. Come on in the kitchen. Hey, I thought you were sore at me. Well, I came to apologize. Here's my chin. You can have one free punch. That's not what you came to tell me. Well, not entirely. I have some rather good news. Oh, you got rid of that bird, huh? Good for you. No, and it just shows how wrong you can be, Mrs. Crazy. She's asked me to marry him. Oh? Well, wouldn't that kind of crowd up the old homestead? Oh, but they're going to get a divorce. Oh, well, that's more like it. How'd you work it? Well, it didn't work anything. They haven't been getting on for years. She's quarrelsome. Moody. You certainly got the dope on her in a hurry. A few days ago you didn't even know there was a her. Well, I still don't know too much. That's why he's taking me to dinner tonight. He has a lot of things to tell me. Oh, tonight, huh? Yes, I told him to pick me up here. Well, but the good thing is you didn't move in on the wife. She broke it up herself. That's right. Yeah, this way you haven't got another woman's unhappiness on your conscience. I guess it must be awful for a woman at first. No. First, she's glad to get rid of him. It ain't until afterwards that she realizes he took more than his shirts and socks out the door. He took a pride with him. Pride? What a movie, though. Oh, a person can't go unworrying about other people's problems. Only just don't get yourself in a spot. So when you have your first fight, he can say, you're the dame that broke up my happy home. That's what most of them do. Say, what time is the seller going to pick you up? Oh, somewhere around six, I think. Well, there's time yet. Why aren't you going to meet the folks? Well, thanks. I'd love to. They're all kind of friends of the family. Well... Yeah, well, you just jack up your face, honey, and you'll be set when your fella comes. This way, kid. It may seem to forget all about Matt Hornbeck. That's just as well, because he never showed up. At 5.30, she got rid of everybody else, and then somewhere around 6 o'clock. If you'll excuse me, Mrs. Wavy, I think I'll wait for my friend outside. He should be driving up any minute now. Uh, you're not going to like this, honey, but you know when the doorbell rang a few minutes ago? Well? It was him, Kitty, and I sent him away. This is sweet. I told him you left ten minutes ago. Oh, excuse me for asking, but why? Because you're not tough enough to do it for yourself. That's not true. Listen, you didn't come over here to say I'm sorry to an old bag like me. You wanted a backbone. That's why you came. Well, suppose I am a little afraid of myself. Is that a crime? No, it's not not, honey. You get a man this way. You've got a ten percent chance of happiness. Sending him away is no solution. When I get home, you'll be waiting there. Well, then don't go home. Stay here tonight. I've got a $90 couch. Only don't try talking things over with him on a rainy Sunday night in a little restaurant where somebody's playing something corny on the violin. Okay. You'll stay here? If it's not too much trouble. Trouble, she says. Now come on, we'll find some grub. Can I help you? Here you can help. I've got cold cuts, knockers, Jewish writers. This way, kid. We'll eat in the kitchen. So Kitty spent the night, and Kitty with all her big problems went to sleep a lot faster than May did. May was thinking. She just couldn't stand to see a guy like Matt Hornbeck on the loose again. And somehow she had to get Matt and Kitty together. Leave it to May. By morning, just after breakfast, she had it all figured out. The gulfiest thing that ever happened to me. I've been through this place with a fine-tuned collar. What are you looking for? Did you lose something? Yes, my earring. I remember it felt kind of loose when I started to make that omelet for you. Now, let's see. I was standing right here, beating the air. Maybe it fell in the sea. Oh, that's the first place I looked, honey. There's only... Oh, no. Oh, they ought to give me the chair. Why? Oh, baby, how do you feel? Perfect. I... I guess. Oh, look. Does it hurt in your stomach when I press like this? No. Well, that'll make it... Oh, look, honey, we've got to get you to a doctor. Oh, but you don't think I swallow it? I'm afraid to say it. You've got to get x-rayed, honey. There isn't a minute to lose. That's ridiculous. I couldn't have swallowed an earring. Now, don't even move. I'll get you things. We'll take a cab. Oh, brother, what a chlamel. Earrings in your omelet. I just don't understand it, Miss Bennett. All these x-rays are not a trace of an earring. Well, I told you 20 minutes ago that I didn't swallow it. And what doctor did you say sent you here? No doctor, Mr. Hornbeck. My friend out there didn't want to wait a single second. Oh, by the way, she's also a friend of yours. Who is? Why, Mrs. Swayze. Oh, Mrs. Swayze. Well, well, well, that explains a lot of things. Oh, good morning, Mrs. Swayze. How are you? Did you find the earring? Come on in here. Look, Miss Bennett, I don't know where that earring is, but beyond the shadow of a doubt it is not in you. There. Feel better now, Mrs. Swayze? Not a bit. Let's go see a real doctor. Oh, come on. Oh, I think she should call in right away. You want to use the phone in my office, Mrs. Swayze? I certainly do. You can get dressed now, Miss Bennett. Right in here, Mrs. Swayze. I got a whole file of doctors. But how are you going to know which one of them is unmarried? Meaning what? Meaning I didn't get to go to your Sunday afternoon copy clutch, so the copy clutch comes to me. Listen, that kid doesn't even know what business I'm in. Oh, sure, sure. If you're not the most conceited punk I've ever known, who do you think you are, Hornbeck? Not even a regular doctor. 80 bucks a week at the outside. 75. And the prettiest, sweetest girl between here and Times Square is out to catch you. Well, listen, crumbum. Miss Kitty Bennett happens to be a model in Russick's department store in the French Salon. See, and every Tuesday and Friday they have a fashion show, and while she's floating around in their negligee, who do you think is watching her? Just every unmarried millionaire in New York, but she's after bigger gain. Yes, sure. She wants an X-ray, man, that can't even find a little silk of an earring she swaps. All right, all right. Don't bluff you. I'm all ready, Mrs. Swayze. Okay, okay, let's get out of here. Oh, but I've got to pay. Hey, pay who for what? You didn't find my earring, did he? Mrs. Swayze is right, Miss Bennett. You don't owe me a thing. Look, I'll make a deal. I'll take you to lunch and we'll call it Square. Miss Bennett is having lunch alone. She wouldn't think of keeping you from your important work. 75 bucks a week. Come on. Uh, Doberman talking. Uh, no, Matt Hornbeck didn't have lunch with Kitty Bennett. But that night he sure had dinner with her, and four or five hours later when he took her home. You know, I'm glad they closed that place than they did. Another five minutes and we'd have been arrested. Look, where are you dead? Well, I like it neighborly. You know, nice and close so you don't lose your partner. No, you're losing one right now, because this is where I live. Oh. Yeah, down the steps, basement apartment. Cheery, isn't it? I call it weathering depth. Yeah, very nice. Oh, good night. I had a lovely time. Oh, good night. Uh, call you tomorrow? Uh-huh. Good night. Night. Um, why don't we go inside? Because it's late now. I've got to get up early and I, it's really a... Now, why did you do that? Kissing? Oh, impulse, I suppose. You're mad. A little. Look, this is the 10th of May. Would you be mad if I kissed you on the 10th of June? Oh, maybe not. I don't know. Then why waste a month? Like, we're not going to live forever? Why don't we go inside and play a couple of records? Now, stop it. No, just get going. But I'm thirsty. Haven't you got a coke in there? If you want a coke to the drugstore, just tell me. A coke closed. Come on, what do you say? Well, I don't even know if I have one. Oh, come on in. Hey, wait. Who's sat by the door? Looks like a box of flowers. Oh, put them on the table. Were you mad? I'll see what's in the icebox. Hey, it looks like roses. Dozen roses. Oh, good. I love roses. Oh, there isn't any card. What'd you do? Order them for yourself? Oh, sure. For 2 AM delivery. Well, how come there's no card? Here's your coke. It's not very cold. Hey, there's no card anywhere. Well, I wonder who could have sent it. Well, you must know. If you didn't, there'd be a card. Oh, I don't. That's cool for nobody to send a girl flowers, unless she's absolutely sure she'll know where they're from. Oh, drink your coke. I'm not thirsty anymore. A dozen roses and no card. Okay, I'll go. I'm on my way. Good night. Max. Yeah? The best time to reach me at the door is between 12 and 1.30. Don't put the call through otherwise. Yeah, sure. Good night. She'll come in May's office when she gets her visit from Hornbeck. Right in the middle of our pinocchio game. You play pinocchio, Mr. Hornbeck? Pull up a chair. No, I don't, but if you're too busy, I'll come back. Ah, who's busy? Yeah, who's busy? Mr. Doverman, Mr. Hornbeck. Hi. Well, it's okay, Mr. Hornbeck. I'll go in the other room. Well, Mr. Hornbeck. Would you be interested to know who I've been out with? Just fascinated. That friend of yours, Kitty Bennett. Oh, no. Oh, no. That gal's out of bounds for you. Look, I want some information. Who's the guy? What guy? Come on, now. Some guy keeps sending her flowers. Big boxes of flowers. Oh, well, what do you know? It's beginning to work. What's beginning to work? Oh, you wouldn't know him, but... Oh, he's perfect for her good-looking fella. Beautiful home. Security. Long story, all the right clubs just die and to marry the right girl. You told me that Kitty Bennett was a friend of yours, nothing more. Well, she is, but naturally I had a client in mind. Well, you got your nerve. Where to pick her own guy? Where's the commission and that? I got to make a buck, too. Well, at least give her a break. Tell her what business you're in. You're so hepped up on her, why don't you tell her? Well, we just don't sit around talking about you, Mrs. Swain. You want to marry a Mr. Hornbeck? Who said anything about that? Not you, brother. Oh, I'm ready to get married. You said so yourself. 75 bucks a week. Well, I know a couple of people who manage on that 3 million, right here in this town alone. Well, I can't get tangled up now. I got a future to worry about. Can't you see I'm in no position to get married? Of course, Fevers. Anybody with four pints of blood that can stand on their two feet long enough to say I do is in a position to get married. Listen, listen, I like her. I'm not saying we won't get around to it someday. Well, I'll make her noted that someday and if she's available, I'll give you a blast. Thanks, thanks a lot for helping me out. Come on in, Doberman. She ain't he a wonderful guy? Yeah, so what's he mad about? I was asking him his intentions. They cut the cards. You know that cute kid? Oh, her? In the bag. Well, almost. I thought he was all burned up about some other guy sending the flowers. That other guy was yours truly. Dozen roses, 750 plus tax. Are you nuts? Which one of them pays the commission? No commission. Oh, I don't get it, May. Hey, y'all up to your neck and bet you can't even afford airmail and you're throwing money away? All right, so it's lazy folly. Look, Doberman, I spend so much time with tired people trying to fix them up, trying to fan the embers. Give me a prairie fire for a chain. Yeah, yeah. Go on, play, play. We'll continue shortly with Act 3 of the Model and the Marriage Broker. For station identification. For curtain rises on Act 3 of the Model and the Marriage Broker starring Jean Crane as Kitty. Tell me that her is May with Stephen Dunn as Matt. Well, about a week or so goes by, see? And then one day just before closing, May has a visitor. Yeah, it's Kitty Bennett. Only Kitty's got a funny look on her face. She's mad and she's hurt. Well, come on in, kid. Am I glad you're here. You know, it's time you and me got our heads together. I know all about you and Matt Hornebacke. Oh, I'm sure you do, Mrs. Wazeley. He's quite a handful, huh? Of course, the only catch is he don't want to get married. How'd you like the roses I've been sending him? Oh, so that's where they've been coming from. Well, it all adds up, doesn't it? Now, for a whole week I don't want you to see him. Let him call you, let him wait for you. You're just busy, see? Anything else, Mrs. Wazeley? Huh? What do you mean, honey? Why didn't you tell me you ran up a place like this? Oh, I don't know. You think I should have? Before messing around with my life. Yes, I think so. Oh, well, it ain't as bad as that. You talk like I saw it off somebody's crutches. Oh, it's the most awful thing I've ever heard of. This whole business or whatever it is. I don't know why you're making such a stunk. Nothing wrong with it. Getting people together from money? For a commission? I wasn't going to take a dime from you, too. This wasn't what's going to be on my house. Well, thank you, Mrs. Wazeley, but I don't want to grab a man who doesn't want to get married. I'm not that hard up. And I won't have you tricking Matt Hornebacke into anything. It ain't tricks, Kitty. He loves you. My special arrangement of May Swayze. Success guaranteed. I wonder if you'd do me a favor. Just take my name off your books. Ah, look, kid, I... I know I botched things up, but I could see you were heading for trouble. I'd have done the same thing for my own daughter. Yeah? Well, go get yourself another daughter. That afternoon, just as she was closing up, somebody opens May's door. Somebody she hasn't seen for a long, long time. I don't know. It's me. It's Amy. Yeah, I can see it is. Well, Amy, you haven't gotten any younger the past 20 years, either. I know. It's awful news of me to come to see you, of all people. You, uh, you frank had passed on, didn't you, May? I read about it in the papers. Look, Amy, I'm leaving town for a while. I got no time to talk to you. But it can't be so painful to you now, May. It's only when you live back. I don't get my husband stolen from me every day in the week. What do you want, Amy? Make it fast. Well, I'm just out of touch with everybody. I don't know who to turn to. What good does it do me? A nice house and the money and everything? You don't know what it's like to be so alone. You taught me all about that, Amy, 20 years ago. But you're a strong woman, May. You know everybody, everybody's your friend. Oh, tell me what to do, help me. I'm not asking you to do it for nothing. Treat me like, uh, well, like any other customer. Wait a minute. You're coming to me for a husband. I wish you wouldn't put it that way. If I could just meet some people. Well, well, Amy Boyle on the prowl again. You didn't used to have to worry about getting fellas? The fellas, our age, are all dead or they're married. Oh, you hate me. I know you hate me. No, not anymore, Amy. Matter of fact, I got reason to sort of like you. I feel as though you're giving Frank back to me again after all. Can you give me something for him? Oh, look, go to one of the other places. There's plenty of marriage brokers in the phone book. Oh, but me, I couldn't. I just couldn't go to one of those places where I die of shame. Yeah, I heard that before. Sorry, Amy, but you're out of luck. Oh, it's nothing, person. It's just all of a sudden I decided to get away from the joints for a while. Maybe even for good. Too many people want to die of shame when they have to deal with somebody like me. Stop by again, Amy. In another 20 years. Yeah, you may have really went away. She sent me a letter from a place called Sharon Springs. There was a key in the letter. Would I stop by the office once in a while and see about a male? Well, I'm in there picking up the bills when Kitty Bennett walks in. You're Mr. Doberman, aren't you? That's right, Miss Bennett. Mrs. Swayze isn't here? No, she's out of town. She might not be back for quite a while. Oh, is anything wrong? Yeah, plenty. And you ought to know you gave her quite a jolt, Miss Bennett. Oh, now, just a minute. I have nothing against Mrs. Swayze, even though she... Well, I just despise this business she's in. Oh, now, hold it. You're talking like a chowder head. And what do you think she did? You think she sat down one day and said, Well, I think I'll make myself some dough off these poor lonely suckers? No. No, when Mrs. Swayze's marriage went on the rocks, that was the loneliest day on Earth. Only somebody as lonely as she was could know how many more there are of the same kind. You want to know what you were to her? The daughter she never had. The kid she missed out on. That's how come you could kick the pins out from under her so easy. So congratulations, Miss Bennett, and a good, good morning to you. Think about Kitty Bennett all day. Later, I call her up at Russix to tell her I'm sorry I'm so rough on her and they tell me she's gone. Miss Bennett is left on a vacation. I guess Matt Hornbeck found out the same thing, only he don't give up so easy. A few days later. All right, now, you can just go away. How about time you came up for her? Do you know how many times I've been hearing in this doorbell? He woke me up. Good. I figured if I got here early enough, I'd catch you off guard. Now, what goes on? First, I hear you're on a vacation. I am. Somebody says you've gone to some resort, Sharon Springs or something. Well, I was. Hey, will you please leave? I'm expecting someone. At eight o'clock in the morning? Look, Matt, maybe we can talk some other time, right now. I don't know what's wrong. What are you doing? Out of town, on business. Well, you're back now. Why don't you call me? Oh, don't think I haven't wanted to, but where would it get if you're not wanting to get married? Not that I blame you. Oh, so that's Swayze's been shooting off her face again, huh? It has nothing to do with her. I understand how you feel. You have a career. Yes, your career. Snapping pictures of other people's stomachs. You don't want to be a hired man all your life. You want to beat someone on your own. And you don't want to be mailed down. You can't afford to be. Look, lots of people in this town manage about three million of them. Yeah, maybe that's why some of them are so unhappy. Oh, you'd like to wait around for something better, huh? I'm trying to be sensible for you. I'll get you to talk like a professor. Don't we love each other? Oh, that's why I didn't want to talk to you, Matt. Suppose I answered yes to that right now. Oh, Matt, you've been tricked. Tricked, huh? Every way. We haven't even seen each other. That's a trick. And we're together again. That's a trick. If I were to rush right into your arms this minute, you'd kiss me and say, I want to marry you. That would be a trick, too. Oh, now look, Fitz, it's about time you stopped over-lating those kisses. You know, every time you pucker up, it isn't a secret weapon. I just happen to like you. That's all I want to marry you. Yeah, so maybe I won't be my own boss for a while. A long while. Let's not be happy. I'll be around the boss. Oh, kid, I love you so much. I could... Well, fine. You got company. Oh, dear, and this is important, too. Just don't forget what you were talking about. This is crazy. Hey, Caby, don't put your flag up yet. I could get thrown right out of here. Did you get my telegram? Half an hour ago. First thing I wanted to do was come around and apologize. Apologize? Do you want me to slug you? No, don't be silly, kid. You were right. Romance is something that's got to happen to you. Unexpected, like falling down a manhole. Setting it up for people that stick me for tourists. Oh, Mr. Handic. Yeah, it's me. And before you start lining up any prospects, she's already taken. Oh? Well, sometimes those put up job plans, but... Maybe I think it's better if it happens to you. All of a sudden, you know, bang! Well, just that's all I wanted to say. Good luck, kids. I gotta get going. Wait a second. I want to look at you, Mrs. Swayze. Something seems kind of different. I don't think this dress is too young for me. I think it's lovely. It's exactly right for me. Hey, are you going to talk about clothes all day? Oh, Matt, you do it at the office. Didn't you have tonight? I'm not due yet. Well, I gotta go anyway. I gotta get a manicure. Manicure? New dress? What's happening, Mrs. Swayze? Oh, nothing. Nothing. I just thought I'd spruce up a little bit. Uh-huh. Something's cooking on the back burner. Hey, Matt, how about running into the kitchen and getting us some coffee, huh? The best cup of coffee you two gals ever had. Well? Okay, so I might as well tell you this. Some guy I met at Sharon's Springs, Mr. Chancellor, he's gone clear up his locker about me. Oh, that's wonderful! Swayze! How do you like what I heard you? Don't you think it takes years at all? Well, a couple of months, anyway. Years! How old do you think he thinks I am? Oh, what does it matter? Forty. How much did you admit? Thirty-nine. But he doesn't want to marry me whatever he wants. He doesn't care about anything. All he wants to do is just flap away on the wings of love. Well? When's it going to be? You don't think I'm taking it seriously? I'm wearing a lot of these. He's a nice man. He's all right. I guess he's the big man who's up in New Brunswick. Wherever that is, he's got a suit of clothes. Oh, he's a house on a peninsula. He even owns the peninsula. Well, then, set the date. I don't know. He grew on the square side, but we had a lot of fun at Sharon Springs. Oh, are you there, too? Oh, the coffee. I thought you were... A lot of work, doesn't it, honey? What do you mean, Mr. Hornbeck? Was I there, too? Oh, that's where Kitty was. This way, Matt, you're getting out of here and going to work. Any more cracks like that about Sharon Springs and I'll shoot you before I have a chance to marry you. That's all I wanted to hear. Thanks, baby. I'll see you tonight. What were you doing at Sharon Springs? Oh, I just happened to be there. This is me, honey. Oh, Lady Slazy. Oh, all right. I did bring him up there. Mr. Bebelman approves? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He needs to change, then. But you're off it, yes. He's doing your ad and... Well, it seems that you're shitting me just because you went around to help him find someone. Yeah, he needs to change. You're up there? Why not? There's a little marriage broker at all of us and there should be. You're younger. Nothing dressed up to look like land. Oh, and in case you're interested, Hayes and James and Mr. Wicks did. They're getting married next week. Now, that was a chance for us. It's only for the book, all right? My big dream. Shopping a line for a wife and allowing the joint like mine. Now, you're looking to me. He happens to be a very fine boy all in for my own. Be a head shrinker. Oh, he's just a man for you. And you're just what he's been looking for. You'll never be letting me again. Lonely. I'm glad you reminded me. Out there on that peninsula. Nobody to talk to, but a bunch of seagulls. How lonely can you get? Well, you please stop yapping and listen to me. I've got news for you. That guy, Chance, labors the life out of me. You know what he said to me when I tried to teach him how to play pinocchio? I said he couldn't get the hang of it. So your teacher? Oh, nobody ever learned to play pinocchio after 50. What if you're lonely? Listen, honey, nobody's scratching around to keep other people from getting lonely ever gets lonely. Now, put that under your pillow. Oh, but he's such a nice man. You can't let him down. I'll take care of him. Seriously, he needs a wife. Yeah, he mentioned it. And I've got just the girl he's looking. Excuse me, honey, I've got to use the phone. Emmy Boyle and Mr. Chance, labors. What a combo. But 30 minutes later, Mel is back in her office sitting behind a desk. And next to her all out of breath and excited was her old pal, Emmy. Yeah, Emmy, I've been thinking quite a lot about you lately and I've finally located just the right man. I'll do the talking. Say, have you got a dress that doesn't look like you're going to a fancy funeral? Oh, stop, stop. Well, put one of them on and go easy on the rouge. No duck on the fingernails. You're going to a matinee at the 43rd Street Theater. There'll be a ticket for you at the window under the name of Chancellor. And the man you'll be sitting next to is Mr. Chancellor. I'll be back to the best. Who knows? Anyway, you'll do this. Get great, big, blue eyes. Tell him I was unavoidably detainee. Me? What did I do next? Well, if I remember correctly, Emmy, I think I can leave that up to you. Hey, darlin'. Hi, hi. Oh, you're busy. I'll see you later. No, not at all. So get going, Emmy. Oh, my, you're an angel. How can I ever thank you? Well, I'm not doing this for old langzans. How much did Frank leave you? Well, never mind about that now. But if this goes according to schedule, brace yourself, Emmy. Brace yourself for quite a bite. Yes, ma'am. Ma'am, what did I? He's a very nice fellow. I almost took him myself. Now, go ahead. Give him the business. I feel like a little pinocchio, ma'am. I got the cards. Start shufflin', darlin'. You were smart, ma'am. That Chancellor guy wasn't right for you. Who knows who's right for whom? Oh, you see, ma'am, what you need is somebody more suave. Like, take me, for instance. With a little polish, I bet you and I could hit it up. All right, all right, come on, play. In a minute, our stars will return. Make a friend, and you make an ally. There's a thought for you to keep in mind, as many another American has. Perhaps one of our greatest ambassadors was the humorist, Artemis Ward, who did a great deal to cement the friendship between America and England. In 1866, Artemis Ward arrived in London for a series of lecture tours, although he wasn't in the best of health. After his first lecture, an English newspaper wrote, there is certainly this foundation for a cordial understanding between the two countries calling themselves Anglo-Saxon, that the Englishman, puzzled by Yankee politics, thoroughly relishes Yankee jokes. When two persons laugh together, they cannot hate each other much so long as the laughter continues. As Artemis Ward continued his tour, in his own humorous way, he criticized both England and America, and the cordial understanding grew between the two countries. Although his health grew worse, Artemis Ward refused to abandon his tour, and he didn't stop until he collapsed in the middle of a lecture. Within a few days, he was dead, at the age of 33. In announcing his death, the London Observer said, Artemis Ward never used his great powers of humor for that biting purpose which is implied in the word sarcasm. He's been a man not only of humor, but of good humor. There is no man among us who does not feel that he is the better for having known him. Since his landing in this country, he was taken by the hand and the feeling of brotherhood between our two countries. So it was that Artemis Ward proved to all America that by helping others, you help your country. Now here's Mr. Cummings with our stars. And we offer our congratulations to the model and the marriage broker, Jim Crane and Thelma Ritter. Why, you're in the class by yourself. That's a compliment, Thelma. Just think, in my last picture, I was starred with ten other stars. Ten stars? I'd call that a full house. Well, it's O'Henry's full house serving, five stories by O'Henry, filmed by five directors with eleven top stars from 20th Century Fox. So it really is a full house. Seems to me you've got quite a full house at home too, haven't you? Yes, Thelma. Three boys and a brand new baby girl. That's why we call her a model girl, a beautiful actress, wife and mother. Well, I'm a wife and mother and I want to be a glamor girl too. Well, I'm sure Daryl Epstein would give you a chance if you just ask him. Yes, Thelma. Why didn't you ask for a part in his new Technicolor production, the Snows of Kilimanjaro? I was dying to, but I couldn't pronounce it. Well, for glamor, don't miss seeing it. It stars Gregory Peck, Susan Hayward, Ava Gardner, Hilda Gardniff. Neff said, I think I'll stick to character action. And that's good news for all of us. And Thelma, be sure to listen next week. We're going to present an actor who's done some of the final characterizations and pictures. I refer, of course, to James Mason. And as his co-star, we'll have his charming and talented wife Pamela Calino. They will bring you the exciting real-life story of a notorious spy. It's a 20th century fox intriguing drama of five fingers. Well, that will be a wonderful show, Irving. Good night. Good night. We'll both run away. This is Irving Cummings saying good night to you from Hollywood. Last night, where Stephen Dunn as Matt, Jack Cushion as Doberman, Martha Wentworth as Mrs. Gengris, Hans Conrad as Johansson, Werner Fulton as Mrs. Cushioner, Charles Cantor as Wichsted, Ruth Perth as Emmy, Gail Barney as Hazel, Barbara Fuller as Ina, and Tudor Marsden as Alice. Our play was adapted by S.H. Barnett and our music was directed by Rudy Schrager. This is your announcer, Ken Carpenter, reminding you to join us again to hear five fingers starring James Mason and Pamela Calino. Irving Cummings, our orchestra, is under the direction of Rudy Schrager. This is Ken Carpenter inviting you to join us next week at this same time for another presentation of the Hollywood Radio Theatre. The theater is a presentation of the United States Armed Forces Radio Service.