 Two rules to attraction. Be attractive. Don't be unattractive. Don't be unattractive. The second thing is dearing. It's an acronym for defend, excuse, explain, and rationalize. These are fear-based responses that we do because we've let her be your judge for the longest time. You're validation seeking. Honey, I'm self-improving. We're gonna fix this marriage. It's gonna be great. You want her to tell you, that's good boy. Give you a pat on the tummy. Suck your dick a little bit. Now, Deer is what happens when somebody shits on you because you've done something bad because you've made them the judge of your life. You are your judge. You are your captain. You own the decisions. You got the consequences anyway, so you might as well do it the way you want to do it. Dearing is a fear-based response to hide that fact of you've done something bad. Besides, your woman's gonna hate taking responsibility for your life anyways. Women absolutely hate it. They want a man who's in charge. All women want a man who's in charge. So there's no reason to ask for permission anyways. Oh, yeah. So I had a friend, a good friend. We sailed together a bunch. He was dating this fucking crazy chick from Quebec, which doesn't really narrow it down, but whatever. And it was the same thing every time. We'd want to go golfing. We want to have a couple drinks at the water wheel. We'd want to do something together as friends. We didn't have very much shore time anyway, and without doubt she would shit-test him every time. She'd play wounded, so he could white-knight her. Oh, you mean to tell me you're going out with your friends to go golfing to Stee? You know I'm sick. You know we don't have much time before the n- And sure enough, he would deer every time. He'd defend. Oh, what are you talking about? It's just golf. He'd make excuses. Oh, come on. It's just a couple rounds. He'd explain it. We're just going there. It's not like we're gonna go fuck some sluts or anything. He'd rationalize it. Oh, I tell you what, I'll give you a bunch of calls there, and I'll bring back some tomato soup or whatever the fuck. And then sure enough, he wasn't going golfing. A good thing to get in the habit of is just own it. You decide what to do with your own time. So that starts up again. You mean to tell me you're going to go golfing with your friends to Stee? You're like, yep, give her a kiss on the cheek, pat in the ass on your way. If any of you guys follow me, and I'll be surprised if you do, there's one thing I hate. There's a little sidebar here. I call them don't eat paint warnings. I fucking hate them. If you're the kind of guy who's gonna go do this stuff and you haven't handled your shit at home, you're gonna get shit and you probably deserve it. If you decide to go drinking with your buddies when your kids got a fever and somebody has to pick them up from school and you're the only one there, that's not owning your shit. At this point, stop your map right now. You need to learn some basic adulting skills. The rule of thumb I use here is what would you do if that girl in your house died tomorrow? We'll fucking do that. Like I said, your life is your ship and you maintain it and you're responsible for it. There's a reason that's work hard and then play hard. So just make sure you have your shit together. All right, let's take stock.