 So when I was in my early teens, I was really into this girl that I was smitten over You know like the girl when you're a little kid like she walks on the school bus So like you hear like the Lion King that theme song playing when Yala and Simba are always like necking and Cutting up to each other. So that was like the girl for me where like, you know, Disney shits coming on So you could guess my age, but in any case the more I liked her The more I kind of started to get a little bit weird because she liked me too So there I was with this girl my Niala that I was super into like the first love and my little kid and The more she expressed interest in me the weirder I got the stranger I got the more insecure I got and then eventually she was like if this is the real you I don't think that's really what I want. So you decide after you get that dagger in your chest You've been so scarred by women. You never want to do that again. You're gonna move to China and just become a monk You know poor little Alex But that's when I first learned about this concept called upper limiting and upper limiting comes from this author called gay Hendricks So I want to share some of gay's advice on some of the ways we commonly upper limit ourselves Which is really self-sabotage when things are too good for us Hey guys, Alex high and author of the book master the day now one of the best ways to figure out where you self-sabotage is By doing journaling exercises the first link in the descriptions for a free journaling worksheet You're also going to get a weekly email on how I use journaling to totally reinvent my life So you could check it out the first link right there in the description to get started So the first way you know you're up limiting in your life is that when things get amazing You feel like something bad will happen or has to happen So there is no better domain of life that you see this in than dating where I've had that happen to myself You know I was way too into a girl Overzealous over excited and I got weird and so she should have dumped me but that was something I had to work on and I've coached many many people a lot of which have actually been women that have mentioned this same thing Where maybe before dating they're talking about being so into this guy, you know This is maybe this is the one all this stuff. They're so excited and Sometimes it's the excitement paired with insecurity that really stirs up a lot of stuff for people and Then their personality changes to the point where it kind of turns the other person off or makes them feel uncomfortable Behind this belief that whenever things get great I feel anxious which is so common is the belief that I'm not good enough And I don't deserve this person all this money this great job at this house all this abundance You're really saying hey universe. I don't deserve all this good shit to happen to me It's sad, but it's really common the second way you know your upper limiting in your life is that you feel more comfortable with Situations than with really really amazing ones. You feel more comfortable dating a guy or a girl. That's like I'm not feeling too many feelings, but she's pretty cool and all or he's a good guy. He's got a good job, you know But everything in your voice is saying yeah, they're all right That's saying that you're terrified of dating someone on your level that could Really stir up some stuff because you know, they're good. You know, they're a unicorn You know they're in demand and you're afraid that they could just leave you for somebody else So you decide I'm just gonna settle of course. This is not a conscious thought subconscious thought I'm just gonna get this person that doesn't stir up too much stuff You know, I'm gonna get the $50,000 job versus the $100,000 job I'm not even gonna apply for that one because you know, that's a lot of pressure and a lot of demands And I can't deal with that shit. That's too much. So we settle for it It's like all these articles that go around cosmopolitan magazine like you know He's a player when and like the second or third thing is always like he's attractive Right because every good-looking human has sex with a hundred people a year as if that makes any logical sense whatsoever This is upper limiting in action The third way, you know, you're upper limiting your life is that when you upgrade one part of your life a lot Like you get a career upgrade or a relationship upgrade you drop the ball in another part of your life So it could be someone who like they've been working so hard for this promotion They got a huge job double the salary loaded with money now and they get sick Like really sick like bedridden sick and they lose the job You know, I knew this one woman who was a high performer in New York City I don't know if she was an attorney or if she was in finance But she would get these jobs paying her a quarter million dollar salary, but guess what happened Every year she would get this illness and would be so burnt out She had to quit her job and was bedridden for weeks Now this was later diagnosed as Lyme disease, but what's crazy is she did that four times This is not a 20 year old. This is a 50 year old woman. She did that five times over the last 10 years I had seen it every single time and after the third time. I was like, this is weird Like this is super weird She went right back to the same scenario and then his bedridden and then went right back to the same scenario At a different job in his bedridden. It was very very odd. That's classic upper limiting That's classic. I want this or I think I want this. We get it and we're like And then the illness is one way that it allows us to deal with uncomfortable feelings Because then we can rest the four things that you manifest illness to prevent you from dealing with uncomfortable emotions So this is actually a real thing and is very very fascinating Especially people that tend to want care from other people It's very very common among like maybe more neurotic people or more hypochondriac people that they want that Attention and the care that they may not get when they're healthy You know some children learn that mommy and daddy don't love me or pay attention until I'm sick and Mom can you scratch my back? You know, but then the problem is they're 40 years old and they're still doing the same thing I've seen it so many times. It's really really funny You also see it in relationships where some people use the same childhood tactic of you know Mommy only loves me when I'm a wounded bird and then they're a grown-ass man And when the girlfriend is not paying enough attention or the man's insecure. He'll like Mope and he'll be weird even among people and friends He'll just be like quiet and awkward and like snippy and then he'll go back to his room early Hoping she'll come and be like, oh honey. What's wrong little birdie? Do you need your widow back scratch? But it's not cool anymore when you're 40 years old guys That is another manifestation of that. It's kind of babying It's an attraction of either it could be I need rest which is solo And it's because we're not giving ourself rest or it could be a relationship or an emotional dynamic The fifth way you might be upper limiting your life is that you blame Complain are negative or in general act like a victim and you blame the whole world for your life issues And you know what this really says underneath at all when we say I can't get a good job because of the president because the economy Because of my industry or all these women or men I date are always treating me so bad What we're really saying is I feel so uncomfortable with my life being awesome Think about how awkward that is and it's strange, but that's subconsciously what's going on I feel more uncomfortable with success in abundance and a happiness and loving my life Then I do with meh or at the worst level just garbage life Because it's like it's like the devil you know versus the devil you don't what's gonna happen if I'm successful What's gonna happen if I meet that girl? That's just like the best I've ever met What's gonna happen when I get a salary that's double what I have We're terrified sometimes of success more than failure and that's a human thing. It's understandable But it's something worth spotting Now with all these upper limiting beliefs the main thing is to just understand they are limitations We place subconsciously because we feel uncomfortable with how good life is getting and if instead we have the intention that you know What what if life could continually get better every single year in all domains of life? infinitely That shouldn't be a scary thought that should be an awesome thought But if that brings up fear that says where you are right now So just have that intention What if life could keep getting better and better every single year with no downturns no crashes no Compensations no self-sabotage because it often can It doesn't mean there's not undulations and up and downs But it can continually get better every single year if you have that intention just spot self-sabotage before it begins Now of course check out that link below fill up that journaling worksheet to help spot self-sabotage in your own life and upgrade your life rapidly you can also get a Email every few days from me on how to use journaling to completely change your life So check that out the first link in the description and then come check out my related videos right there and right there