 I love power and I love feeling powerful. It strokes my bigly wiggly and forces lesser beings to bow down to my awesome might lest they taste my boot between their gums. Nothing has ever given me the same rush of adrenaline than knowing that everybody has to submit to my whims for their own safety. It makes my brain do the goody-good chemicals and allows me to feel as though I have control over this truly unfortunate reality that the universe is slowly careening into an eventual heat death and there's nothing anybody can do about it as we are inconsequential specks in this cruel and uncaring universe. But none of that matters because look at this, I can pull my party members into a pit that kills them. I find that hilarious. Welcome to A Crap Guide to Final Fantasy. The greatest power of all is the power to have control over people's lives, which is why the healer is the most likely party member to have a god complex. Right behind main tanks, mentors, and anybody who's an Omni Crafter. You are the most important person in the party as you, along with the tank, are responsible for keeping the party alive by kissing their boo-boos and slapping the bitch who made the boo-boo. That's right, as a healer, you do have to deal damage as well. Maybe it's called a healer and healers are supposed to heal, right? WRONG! A healer's job is not necessarily to heal the party, but rather to keep them alive. And yes, there's a difference. There's gonna be a lot of downtime between heals, and you bet you're a flatus rumpus that you're making the fight take longer than it has to if you're just sitting there twiddling your thumbs, waiting for your next chance to cast Cure. What do you do when the party's full health? What do you do when the party's full health? Or even halfway up and standing TPS the bad guys? No, I don't pay your sub. But when the fight takes too long, it starts to rub all up on everybody's nerves. And when you hit endgame, it serves you right when the boss will wipe the party cause you couldn't beat and rage. It's sure you're for the most part keeping the party alive with a variety of healing, utility spells, some regen, some shields, but in equal amount of time you're casting those, you're also throwing in some extra DPS when time allows. Remember, DPSing is just mitigating future damage. And if you're able to kill the current wave of dungeon mobs before they deplete the tank's HP, which by the way is going to regen to full by the time you reach the next mob pull anyway, what does it matter how low their HP gets? So yes, DPS when time allows, when does time allow? Well, I know you're scared of independence and thinking by yourself, but that's going to be a balancing act you'll have to figure out. However, my rule of thumb is the minimum amount of HP a party member has to be at is one. But if that's too scawy-way-wee for you weedle-fingies, ask yourself, will the enemies next attack make your party member fall on their ass? If yes, heal so that it doesn't. If no, time to become a Glarmage motherfucker. As long as they're alive and you're clearing the content, you're doing your job right. There is one caveat to doing your job right, and that's that everybody will hate you for it. Literally, by healing you start to generate a lot of aggro from the bad guys. So if you ever decide to heal before mob pulls in dungeons, it's important to stick close to the tank like an ERP or sticks to Vieira's wearing 2B thigh highs. Especially if you throw on a regen and suddenly 800 mobs crash through the wall with a how-to-fry-fairies cookbook. You can still do it, but you should know what you're getting into. Like live streaming and hoping that anybody will watch. As for your limit break, we heard you like healing, so we put more healing in your healing so you can heal while you heal. Unfortunately, you won't be using any limit break aside from LB3, because LB1 and 2 just heal the party, and you already have plenty of band-aids and popsicles to do that on your own. LB3, however, is so potent in healing it resurrects everybody in the party back from the dead instantaneously. But they will have to do the thriller afterward, so it's best to be saved for when you at least have enough people to make a backup dancing crew. For the flavors of healer, we have three boomers and the new kid on the block who bought a Glock and has a TikTok. The White Mage is the most straightforward. You heal when a buddy is hurt and you attack when they're not. Just about everything in your arsenal is all about feeding them so much it'll make an inflation artist blush and embarrassment. You're also equipped with the best AoE skill in the entire game, and the ability to never run out of mana unless you're really, really bad. Best of all, when your buddies get hurt, you can heal them to harness their BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD, LELI! But let's say you want to play White Mage, but you like tarot readings and star signs, like a suburban woman in her mid to late 20s. Astrologian is probably for you. You draw cards that will enhance the abilities of your party members, and you fill the arena with enough space dust and constellations that you'll need five layers of sunglasses to see. Taking this job will also teach you how to build a bomb. Don't worry, it's friendly. Scholar is a weirdo who used to hang out with all the bad DPS kids, but decided to turn their life around when they met a nice girl who supports them in their new hobby. Only problem is she knows nothing about your hobby and you have to keep correcting her on fandom trivia. They're all about putting shields and defensive buffs that protect the party from taking damage in the first place. That way they can guess what? DPS even more! Also, your girlfriend can get SICK! And finally, the new kid on the block, the Sage, a scholar who decided to stop being nice and pick up a gun. That shoots lasers! Like Scholar, they also put shields and protective buffs on their party members, so they can spend more time shooting lasers! How did they do this? After seeing Alphanode change to the job, my guess is that all of this are liquefied carbuncles. Rest in peace, Carby. And now you know how to play healer, you're welcome.