 Hey what's up you guys, welcome to my channel. If you're new here, hi, hello, my name's Lydia and I'm in mental health videos every single day. Today is a bit different, but before I get into my subject of today's video, hit the subscribe button down below to become part of our little family, our growing family. I don't know, are you my kids? I don't know, most of you are older than me. Don't let me drown Hey guys, what's going on? Today I wanted to talk about relationship red flags, something that I tweeted about last night and I thought it'd be a good subject to make a video on. I wanted to change up a bit how I made my videos. This is like an experiment video, so let me know what you think of the style of it, how it's edited, all of that because I'm working on developing my own creative style on here and I want to do things with it differently. Here are seven signs you have an abusive relationship. These are things that I thought of when I've been thinking about relationships and when I first started to know those things we're getting out of hand toxic, abusive. I thought I'd put them in a video because this is something that a few people requested that I do and that's what this video is for. First thing I have to say is it starts to get physical. Once it hits the point of getting physical, even slightly, it won't stop there. It will progress, it will get worse and before long it can become life-threatening and if it ever reaches a point of physical contact it's getting way too much easier. So I asked on Twitter if you guys heard anything you want to add to this video and you guys came through it. My God, I don't normally get that many replies. It's taken me from hating social media and wanting to quit to I fucking love it and I'm back. I posted this on Twitter and I said you guys came through, you are amazing. I love you all, thank you. In my experience they take too much and give very little back. They can't see through everything back in your face, they've belittled you, they put you in a very vulnerable role play. It's like you're stuck in a toxic roundabout, it takes so much strength to navigate yourself away from them but it's important you do for your own good. If you feel stuck then that's a sure sign to me that you are on one. Leave the toxic relationship as soon as you can before they suck all the energy from you and weaken you to the point where they don't have the strength to leave. I thought it was such an important message to put in. I read this when I was down. Like I said I think it's a very good point. It's actually what I said in the video really, like if you feel at risk leave. I think when you come to leave you have to have a plan to leave. But that's a video I might do at some point is leaving the toxic relationship, leaving and have use of relationships because it's very hard to do. Number two is they expect you to do everything. This is a big thing in one of my recent relationships where I was expected to do absolutely everything. I was expected to basically a servant if that's what it felt like. I'm not doing that. Once they start expecting you to do everything and they do nothing themselves, it's a big big sign that things that I'm gonna I don't think in a relationship it should fall down to one person to do like all the housework. I think you should split it equally. Number three is they don't apologise when they've done something to you. Like say you had a small argument and you argue and you apologise. They take nothing back. But it's another huge huge huge sign that things are out of control and gotta get out there. Another one is they make themselves the victim and what I mean by that is they have to be centre of attention no matter what's going on. They could have hit you and somehow they make themselves the victim by saying, oh you made me hit you. If they ever say that, honestly walk away. Watch out for the one with the hero complex, the ones that tell you nobody will love you like who I do, nobody may be happy like who I do. You'll never have love like this again. So my ex from last year said this to me, no one is ever going to love you the way I love you. Good. Because if what she was doing to me is love, I want no part in it. So I thought it was right another important thing to put in and throw in every emotion at you and in a space of half an hour of even being stumped. Important point. Number five is they take control of finances. Every penny you have, all the money you earn, they know everything about it and you know nothing. They need it, they won't let you have control. You have to go through them, you have to have a step and mission to use your own money. If they ever do that, literally say bye Felicia. I can't believe I just said that. And in relationships, you are allowed to have your own money. The other person doesn't have to provide for you. And the other person doesn't have to control your money. I had this happen to me in one of my early relationships. I had my first bank account. The person I was with made me transfer every bit of every bit of money I had into their account. They took control of everything and then threatened like if you believe me, you won't have any money. You can't leave me side quite your money. And it's the way of controlling the situation and basically making sure they can be a complete or dead. No matter what you say, you can't learn leave because you have no means of escape because they have your money. They know everything that's going on. They know all the plans. They make all the plans. They don't want anything to pass by last year. When it reaches that point, say something. Don't leave. Just say something. Say, hey, you could have run this by me. What are you playing at? Hello. Hi. Welcome to this little intermission thing, but you buy me. I know. Amazing. So I wanted to put in this little message here to say that if you are going through something or your relationship moment isn't going great, there is always the option of talking to the person working through things. Don't think because I'm just giving you this advice that I'm like, hey, if things start to go wrong, leave that bitch. Like, no, that's not what I'm saying at all. What I'm saying is work through things and know the science before things get too bad. And I had to add this in because I felt like this video has been me kind of like saying, if they start doing this, leave. And I don't want to be the case at all. That's not what I'm trying to say. That's not the message here. My message here is know the science, know what to look for for you and for your friends. And then the final one is something that has happened to me in every single relationship I've been in. Go out, do the wrong thing and leave you with nothing. But they make false promises of doing stuff like if one of my other relationships ladies is like, oh, you can hang out, we can chill and then use I was left with absolutely football to do. It's just a warning sign. Now I'm not saying all the user names are saying these are just things that I know to me have led to me being in a very controlling abusive relationship. I just thought I shared them with you because some people have been asking me something like relationship advice. And believe me, I'm not one to give it. I don't have the most experience with relationship and I don't have the best experience. Relationships aren't exactly something I go looking for or that I'm really interested in. I just thought I was not interested. I want to live my life, have fun in my 20s. You know, I'm 21. I'm not about this like playground shit. I'm not doing one like stand and stuff. Question. How do you approach the relationship? There are children involved and the person is not abusive, but just has a bad attitude. Tell them to fix their attitude. Get that attitude right. And I don't have kids. I'm 21. I don't have kids and I'm not in a relationship. What I would say if I did have kids and I was older and I had kids and I was in this situation, I would have a grown-up conversation. Just sit down and talk about it. And if they're not willing to change, then it's kind of, you should always prioritize your kids above relationships. And that sounds horrible. That sounds horrible. But if they're not good influence on your kids, maybe walk away temporarily. Put a hold on it. Put your kids first. That's what I would do. I don't know everyone's situation. And that's just my own opinion. I've got quite a lot of responses. Like I said, you guys came fucking through. If someone over-talks you, picks up on the floor in anything you say, tells you to make, tells you, you make them say when you try to stand up for yourself. Definitely counts as an abusive relationship. If they're super nice to you when you're struggling, seeming to be trying to get you up on your own feet again, but not supportive of your success or confident situations, not celebrating your achievements, downplaying them, not going along with your good mood. It shows they want to keep you dependent. And it's so, sort of, been there. Been through it. I had that. When I say relationship, yes, I predominantly mean like a partner, but it can also be a friendship as this person points it out. And again, important point. That's the thing of me as well with the relationships is people in that I've been with have been either abusive, manipulative or just trying to control free. And I'm not. I'm the opposite. I just leave things be. I do what I want when I want to do it. I don't do like, I'm not like one that's like, oh, we have to do this now. I don't even know if I'm making sense or not. I'm just in a good mood and I feel like feeling. I felt like making a video and that's what I'm doing. And my hair actually looks okay today. So, what am I saying? I am doing a bit better today than what I have been. This video was inspired by some tweets that I put up yesterday. And I posted relationship red flags. I posted that last night because I was thinking a lot about relationships and my past and all the hate that I've been getting recently. And it's only smiling down the path of thinking about my past. And obviously my past includes really bad relationships. And that's kind of what inspired this video. Obviously different signs are different for everyone. If you have any video requests or any ideas for future videos, questions you'd like to ask, comments are down below. If you'd like to support me and my channel, I have a Patreon where you can support me once a month and it's a huge help. On the note, patrons, let's get the ones I've got a shout out. We have Sky House Tower, Ryan True, Izzy Watkins, Ja, and Agnieszka. I can't speak Polish. So yeah, it's kind of what I've got to say. And like I said, if you do want to support me, my links are in the description down below. I do have a book called I've Broken Mind. I wrote it over a year ago. It's not the best. I'm not an author. I'm not English student. I'm a film student. So with that in mind, I'm going to end this video here. If you're new here, hit the subscribe button and I'll catch you in my next video. Peace.