 After working with hundreds of thousands of women from all over the world, I've noticed a pattern of what goes wrong when women chase men, which is why I suggest that you never, ever chase a man. So what is this pattern? Here's what it is. If you chase a man, you run the risk of missing a very, very important red flag or important red flags. There are actually four major red flags that women miss when they chase men. And all of them are incredibly important. And that's what I'm gonna go over today, the four different red flags. Hi, my name is Matthew Coast and welcome to Commitment Connection. So here are the four red flags that you will end up missing if you end up chasing a man. Number one, he loses interest. So when women chase men, men tend to lean back and let the woman do all the work. Even if he's not really all that interested in her or even if he's only slightly interested in her, he'll still let her do pretty much everything. Why? Because most men will end up enjoying the benefits of getting their physical and emotional needs met without putting in any of the effort. Normally, when a man starts to lose interest, you can tell this by his actions. So instead of chasing him, you want him to be chasing you. That way, if there's something that goes wrong like he loses interest, you'll know it because he'll either go cold or pull back or he'll seem less enthusiastic or energetic when he's talking to you, texting you or connecting with you. If you're watching this right now, make sure you say hi and tell us where in the world you're watching this in the chat. I love to see women, it's cool to see women from all over the world watching these. All right, so number two is he was never that interested from the start. So like the last situation, if you're chasing him and he's really not that interested from the start, you won't know it until you're already emotionally and mentally invested in him. The problem is that when you're emotionally and invested in him like that, you'll end up getting attached to him even if he's not really all that interested in you. I know a woman who wasted over 12 years with a man like this. She thought that it was heading to marriage, but he was never really that serious or even interested in her from the very beginning. But since she was doing all the work, she was trying to make things work between the two of them. She was planning everything. She was going out of her way to go see him. She was investing in him mentally, emotionally, even from a monetary standpoint. She was buying all these things for him because she was in love with him and she wanted to impress him. And he just let her do all the work because he was getting all of his needs met, right? It's really nice for him. He's like, hey, I'm not really that interested, but she's buying me things. She's taking me out. She's planning all his stuff. She's coming over and we're hooking up together. And I don't have to do anything about it, right? And don't get overly mad at men because I know sometimes when you hear about men doing stuff like this, a lot of times there ends up being a lot of man, hey, women do this stuff as well too. So don't let this situation happen to you. Instead, if you let a man chase you, he'll reveal his true intentions through his actions. He'll reveal his true intentions through his actions and through his words. And you have to make sure that those two are in alignment with each other. Otherwise, you wanna believe whatever is the worst of the two, right? Sometimes people are like, oh, just believe his actions, right? Actions speak louder than words. Well, sometimes a guy will pretend, well, it will show you that he's really interested and act really interested, but not actually be interested. And he'll tell you that he's not interested in anything serious, but you take his actions as being him being that interested, then you'll get confused. And so what you wanna do is you wanna take the one that's the worst of the two between his actions and his words and believe that. Here's a secret that I want you to write down and remember. His investment in you of his time, energy and emotion is far more important than your investment is in him. So his investment will make him feel more attracted to you. It'll allow him to fall in love with you and it'll tell you how interested he is in you. And that's something that you absolutely do not want to miss. All right, number three is he's not really the man that you're looking for. So if you end up chasing a man, you might end up getting so caught up in trying to make things work with him that you won't even realize that he's not really even a good man for you. Again, you'll end up missing this red flag because you're so caught up in doing things that you don't notice that he was never really the right guy for you in the first place, right? He's not relationship oriented or he doesn't want kids and you do or maybe you have some kind of religious differences or whatever, maybe he's not looking to get married and you wanna get married. Your values don't really line up and whatever it is, there might be some deal breakers in there that you end up missing because you were too busy trying to make things work with someone who wasn't really ever right for you to begin with. So you don't wanna invest weeks, months or even years of your time, energy and emotion into a guy if you can't really grow together in a relationship because your values are too misaligned. This only causes pain, heartbreak and feeling like you've wasted your life. If you get what I'm talking about, say I get it in the chat. If you don't get what I'm talking about or you have questions about your situation or something that's going on with you, go ahead and ask your questions in the chat and I will get to them at the end of this, at the end of this content here. So number four is he's not moving the relationship forward. If you're doing all the work and trying to push and move the relationship forward, again, most men will just lean back and let it happen. So why is this a red flag? Because it means that you will be doing all of the work in the relationship and that's not gonna stop anytime soon. What you're doing is you're setting a precedent or what I like to call a frame, right? You're building a frame around the relationship that you are the one who will do all the work while he gets to lean back and wait for you to do all the work. And here's a fact that you need to know about men. Men value women that they put effort into. And the flip side of this is that men tend to take women for granted, men tend to take women for granted when the woman does all the work. So you deserve to be a priority to a man. You deserve a man who loves you, sees you and cherishes you. Let him put in all the effort, pursue you, chase you and show you that he's the right man for you. And don't settle for anything less than that because that is how you make sure that you ultimately end up in an amazing relationship where you're absolutely loved and cherished. And if you're here with me right now, my guess is that that's what you want. And so never ever chase a man, even if he's pulling away. If a guy does pull away and you're not sure what to do and you're a little bit confused, my suggestion is I've got a forward text message that you can send to them. It's a part of the forever woman program. You can check it out at theforeverwomanformula.com. You can get free access to that program if you go to theforeverwomanformula.com. Watch the video that's there and sign up to get free access for the program. And that forward text message is in there. And what that does is it gets a man's attention. And what we've had is a lot of women who've used that have had guys that have ended up coming back and apologizing and taking them out to dinner or for drinks or whatever and starting to chase and pursue them again. And so that's something that I definitely recommend. It's a great text message, a great program. The whole program is very, very important that you go through the program. So go and check that out. All right, so next I'm going to go through the comments and just see what kind of questions you have for me here. So honesty says, hello, my name is honesty and I need help getting my ex-boyfriend back because we are not on good terms right now. I'm not gonna lie when we did get back in contact with each other. I was chasing him a little bit and then he started becoming distant. And I admit that I shouldn't have done that. We used to be together for four years and then he broke up with me because I lied to him one time. And now he has a hard time trusting me but I regret that I lied to him that one time. So honesty, thanks for being so honesty with us. God, that was nerdy. Thanks for being so honest with us. Getting back with an ex can be a very, very difficult thing and you wanna make sure that you're playing your cards right. And one of the most important things that you can possibly do when getting back together with an ex or before you get back together with an ex is to rebuild your confidence and do something that I call taking your power back. And when you take your power back, basically what you're doing is you're rebuilding your life. You're creating a separate identity from him, right? Cause when you get into a relationship and you're dating each other and you're together with each other, what happens is you start doing all these things together. You start envisioning your life being together, right? And what that does is it creates a one shared identity. And what you have to do when you break up is what ends up happening is it feels like you've lost a piece of yourself and researchers have said that it's almost kind of like, it's very similar to what a drug addict goes through when he stops taking drugs and starts going through withdrawals. Researchers have also said that it's very similar to what happens when someone loses a significant person in their life from death, right? So somebody in their family dies. It's very similar, right? You lose a part of yourself. You lose a part of your identity. And so what you have to do is take your power back. You have to rebuild your sense of self. You have to rebuild your sense of identity. You have to start creating, empowering, emotional feelings in yourself. Cause what ends up happening is when you go through a breakup and somebody breaks up with you, you lose power in the relationship, right? And so you're the one trying to get back together and you're trying to make things happen. And if you're coming from that space of trying to make things happen and trying to get back together and trying to push things, what's gonna end up happening is that he's gonna be far less attracted to you because of that. And so what you need to do is put yourself into a really powerful position, make sure you're coming from a mental space where you believe that you deserve a great relationship. And then when you get back into a situation where you're connecting with him, then you're coming from a space where you're not totally attached to making it work because it's when you're super attached to making it work that it doesn't. It's very counterintuitive, but that's usually how it works. You're trying to make things happen, you're trying to make things happen. And so it doesn't work, which is why you're chasing him. And so what you need to do is chill out, lean back, relax, pull back, make sure that you've worked on yourself and built yourself back up. I have a whole program about how to do this. It's called Restart Your Relationship. You can go check it out at commitmentconnection.com. Let's see here, if I have it, I don't. Go to commitmentconnection.com forward slash restart dash your dash relationship. And you can go actually get my main program there for just a dollar. So you can go check that out and learn more about that and use my program because it's really, really, really powerful. As far as the whole lying thing, yeah, I mean, it's one of those things where it's gonna end up coming up at some point and you'll have to discuss it and talk about it, but really trust is built through the hard times. It's not built during the easy times, right? It's built in situations where you need to do something to earn his trust, right? That's when trust is built, is when you're put into a situation where you could betray his trust, but you don't, right? That's when trust is built. And so it will come back up, especially if he doesn't trust you as much now because of whatever kind of lie you made to him. I don't know how big of a lie or small of a lie it is, but you just wanna make sure that you get back into a situation where you're connecting with him and you're coming from a place of power that way he's not losing attracted to you, attraction for you and he's not really that interested. He is interested, he just wants to make sure that he's putting himself into a situation with you where he can trust you. And so that's the situation you want to be coming from. All right, so let's go on to, I hope that helped honesty. Let's go on to Lady. Lady says, contact decreased from daily phone calls and texts to now just receiving good morning texts to I'm doing okay, but less contact. We've rekindled a friendship after 20 years and have been dating for eight months. What should I do? He has been busy. He has a busy work schedule, a lot of family issues. Should I be patient and not call or text? Yeah, so there's a rule that I generally have, right? And so there's this thing called leaning back and there's a lot of misconceptions about leaning back. I'll probably do some more videos on this pretty soon. But when you're leaning back, what you're doing is you're giving him space to come and pursue you. And what happens a lot of times is men will get busy with things and it's almost guaranteed in most situations that at some point a guy is gonna pull back at least a little bit or a lot depending on the guy that you're dating and the situation that you're in and what's going on between the two of you. And so in your situation, he has started getting a lot of things that are coming up for him and he has to pull back because he has these other priorities going on. And so you have a decision to make right now. And if you start chasing him, what will probably end up happening is he'll start losing interest for you over time. And so what you wanna do is you just wanna lean back and give him some space. And as far as like initiating contact, you want to initiate contact like one out of four times or one out of three times. Some coaches out there will recommend that you don't ever contact a guy ever, never initiate contact with a guy. And that's just, that's wrong. I know too many women who have lost men because they didn't ever initiate contact. And so the guy thought that she was never really interested. Relationships are built because they're a two-way street. They're built together. And if he's the only one that's showing any interest and pushing things forward and initiating contact, he's gonna feel like you don't really care that you're not really that interested and that he's not gonna really be, for most men, they're not gonna really be that interested in continuing to do that. But you also don't want to go to the other extreme where you're the one chasing him, you're contacting him all the time, you're initiating contact and all that kind of stuff. And so you wanna have kind of a range, right? And it should be ideally, ideally, every situation's different, but ideally it should be in the range of one out of every three times or one out of every four times when you are the one who's initiating the contact. Of course, you can go to 50-50 as well where every other time you're the one that's initiating and that can work as well. But you don't wanna get to a point where you're setting a precedent where you're the one who's always initiating contact because if you do that, what's gonna end up happening is you'll set a frame around the relationship, you'll set a precedent where you're constantly chasing him and he starts expecting you to chase him and initiate and do all this stuff. And then you'll get into the situation that we're just talking about in this video where you're missing red flags, you're missing it when he loses interest, you're missing it when you should be pulling back because when a guy pulls back, that's a good time for you to pull back and get busy with your life and have other things going on and build an abundance of options and connection and all that kind of stuff so that you're not put into a situation where you start chasing him like exactly what we were just talking about. So, Amy says, you're so handsome and sweet, Matt. Well, thank you, I appreciate that, Amy. Nita says, I like your humor. Well, I appreciate that as well. Maddie says, the sperm chases the egg, remember that. Yep, that's a good metaphor. Leandra says, I love your job, what you do, thank you so much, you are absolutely welcome, thank you for being here. I appreciate you, I appreciate everybody who's here. So thank you so much, everybody who's here, everybody who's a part of our community, everybody who's a part of these live streams. I thank you so much for being here and I really appreciate it and so thank you, absolutely. So, Ruthie says, what does it mean when your ex-boyfriend says he needs some time to think? He is giving excuses about what he feels about me. Well, what it means is that he's confused, right? And so, if he's confused and he's not sure, what it means is that he's lost some kind of attraction for you, he's kind of lost his desire for you, he's lost his kind of drive forward, right? Maybe his love for you has dropped quite a bit. And so what you need to do is you need to connect with, when you are connecting with him, you need to connect with him in a better way, right? Connect with his emotions instead of connecting with him just logically when as far, again, don't chase him, make sure you're leaning back and giving him space to chase you and initiate with you and pursue you because that's the situation that you ultimately want to be in. So I hope that answers your question there, Ruthie. I hope that answers your question, Ruthie. Oh, Ruthie, hope that answers your question. Got me singing over here again. All right, so Rosemary says, hey, Matt, why is it when we are completely willing to walk away and pretty much over him, he comes back? And at that point, I'm still done because he didn't want to show interest when I was showing interest because of exactly what we were just talking about, Rosemary. We were talking about the different types of power dynamics, right? And so generally speaking, when you care less, a guy that's interested in you will start pursuing you and investing in you and being interested in you, right? So what happened was you were probably showing all this interest and pursuing him and giving to him and doing things and investing in him. And he was taking that for granted because it's something called the law of familiarity, right? And so what ends up happening is you start pulling back because you're like, hey, this guy's not really that interested in me and he's not trying and he's not doing all the things that he should be doing. You know, a guy should be doing in a relationship to show me that he's interested. And so you pull back and what happens is you create this vacuum. And once that vacuum is created, he has a choice. He can either walk away or he can fill in that vacuum, that gap that you've created, which is why it's so important to lean back, right? And like there are some things out there where sometimes women will talk about this thing of ignoring men, which I do not recommend that you ignore men. There are some situations where you do wanna ignore men, right? When a guy's not right for you, when a guy's mistreating you, when a guy does certain things, right? And you need to pull your attention and your interest in yourself out of that situation. That's the only time that you would ever want to ignore men. Outside of that, I suggest that you don't ignore men because that can be abusive, but it can work with some men who like that kind of a thing, right? Which is a small percentage of men who actually get off on getting ignored and all that kind of stuff. But it does work some of the time, right? Because he is investing in you. He's moving forward. There's that gap and he's going, oh, I wanna get in that gap and I don't have this power anymore, right? That's the power dynamic. When power, a lot of people freak out when I talk about power. All that power really means is that it's your ability to get what you want, right? And so if you're in a situation and you are trying to do everything and he's kind of leaning back, he's in the power position because he's able to get what he wants. He doesn't have to do anything to get it. He can just kind of shine a light and tell you which way to go and you'll go in that way in order to do things and make things work because you're chasing, you're investing, you're pursuing, you're starting to get this mentality where you're doing everything and you don't wanna lose him, right? And so when you pull back, that takes that power away from him and all of a sudden you get more on an even power scale, right? And what researchers have found, there's been a lot of research that has been done on power dynamics and relationships. And what they found is that when you're in a relationship, the amount of attraction that somebody has for you is based on how much power you have. So if you have a lot of power, which is generally speaking like people that are really out of touch, like really successful people, celebrities, people that you could never get with, they tend to have a lot of power in just about any kind of situation from a perspective, right? Your perspective is that they have a lot of power. And so they can tend to have lots of people that chase them and they're in love with them and all that kind of stuff, right? Well, in a relationship, you wanna have equal kind of equal power, but before you get into a committed relationship, you want to have a slightly more power than your partner in the situation, which is what I'm teaching you. I'm teaching you how to set yourself up so that you're not giving all your power away and putting yourself into a situation where you might get hurt, right? And instead the guy's attracted to you, he's interested in you. And if you end up losing your power, what ends up happening is when his power goes up and yours goes down, is he starts losing interest, he starts thinking that maybe this isn't something that he wants, but you pull back and your power goes back up and all of a sudden he's interested and he wants more and he really likes you. And it's just, it's not fair, it's not right, it's not how things should be, but it is, right? That's how things are. And there's a power dynamic and you always want to have the upper hand until you're in a committed relationship. If you're having problems and challenges and the guy's confused or not sure or any of that kind of stuff, you want to put yourself into a position of power. And I talk about that in detail in my devotion switch program. If you are interested in that program, go check it out. It's at commitmentconnection.com forward slash devotion and you can learn all about what makes a man want to commit to a woman and cherish her and love her and do all the things that you want him to do if he's not doing those kinds of things. All right, so I hope that, I think I went on a tangent there, but I hope that answered your question there, Rosemary. And let's see, what do we have next? Denise says, you are right on, Matt. Worst mistake I've ever made. Yep, chasing a man is not the way to go. Let's see. Gina Marie says, I missed his call yesterday and I tried calling back and he didn't respond. I even texted, is that chasing? Well, if I were you, I wouldn't do any more than that. Cause you're kind of getting on the edge of chasing. It's almost like a double texting situation where he calls you, think about it in terms of playing a game of tennis or ping pong or volleyball or whatever, whatever your favorite sport is. Let's go with tennis, right? Let's play tennis. He hits the ball over to you and you take the ball and you hit it back over to him. Well, now it's his turn to hit it back over to you, right? And so you want to be in a game where you're hitting the ball back and forth. You don't want to be in a game where you're hitting a ball over and hitting a ball over and hitting a ball over and he's not hitting balls back. And so you want to give him space to make sure that he's interested and that he's pursuing and that he's contacting you back. He might have things going on or whatever, right? And your interest is conveyed through how quickly you respond to him, whether you respond to him, how often you respond to him, how many times you respond to him before he responds to you, which isn't necessarily a bad thing until it goes to one extreme or the other, right? If you're in a situation where you're on the extreme where you're just sending him message after message after message after message and he's not responding back, he's not hitting that ball back, then you get into a weird situation where he goes, she's weirdly interested in me. She's coming, it almost, it starts to feel to him. It starts to feel like kind of gross, you know? Like there's something off here and he starts to think that you're needy and that you're clingy and that you've got weird things going on because you're overly trying to connect with him when, you know, he might be doing something. He might be out at dinner with his mom or he might be, you know, in the middle of doing some kind of work thing or, you know, maybe he's driving or taking a shower or whatever, doesn't matter. And you're over here, you know, trying to contact him over and over and over again, right? If you contact him, let him contact you back, right? It shows you that he's interested. It shows you what's going on with him. And like I said, it can be a red flag that you end up missing because you're constantly trying to make something happen. You're trying to get him to respond or you're trying to do whatever, right? And so you want to, you wanna be careful with that. You want him to hit the ball back, right? I don't think that it's necessarily a bad thing that you called and then texted. What it does show is that you're really interested in him, right? So based on that, if he's smart, if he has any kind of intuition at all, if he has any kind of social adaptivity at all, he knows that awareness, if he has any social awareness at all, he knows that you're really interested in him. That's it, right? That's the situation that you're in. And it's not bad. It's just, you don't wanna be caught up in doing it all the time, right? Or trying to make things happen all the time, or he's not responding. So you send him another one and send him another one. You don't wanna be in that situation. So just make sure that you're not doing that. All right, so let's see what else we got. Denise says, oh my God, he was never the right one. No common interests, different religion. And I was doing all the work a year and a half waste of my life. I get it. Yeah, I mean, and that sucks, Denise. It really sucks being in that situation. And that's why it's important to make sure that you're, you know, doing things that get you into the right situation and you're not missing those red flags. So Mandy says, hi Matt. I have been talking with my ex for a few months, seeing each other once a week. I know he's not seeing anyone else, but I want him to initiate the relationship talk. If he doesn't, can I do it and how? Well, so you've been talking with your ex for a few months, seeing each other once a week. It depends on whether you've gotten physical with him or not. So my suggestion is that, you know, depending on your beliefs about what you guys do, right? So let's say that, let's say that you're kind of like most people out there and you are interested in getting into a physically intimate relationship and you're not worried about marriage or anything like that. My suggestion is that at the very least, right? I don't suggest that you bring up the relationship talk at all, right? Especially if you want commitment. If you want commitment, then I wouldn't worry about the relationship talk at all, right? He should be the one that's bringing up the relationship talk if he's pursuing you and chasing you and moving things forward. That's the definition of moving things forward. He's trying to get you into the relationship that you want to have. And so what I do recommend is that at the very, very least, at the very least you make sure that you get into an exclusive situation with him if you get physically intimate and that if you've already gotten physically intimate together that you have the exclusivity talk before you guys hook up again at the very least because if you haven't, here's the thing, even if he's your ex, even if you don't think that he's seeing anybody else, if you guys are hooking up together and you haven't had this exclusivity talk, then you can just expect that he's going out there and potentially meeting other people that he will end up hooking up with somebody if he does meet somebody and you guys haven't had that conversation yet. And really what you want is to have the commitment talk before you guys hook up or at the very least before you guys move in together or anything like that, right? You want him to have a commitment talk with you which is a completely different thing than the exclusivity talk. So exclusivity means that you're not hooking up with anybody else, but it also means that you guys can still talk to other people, see other people, have conversations with other people. It means that he might still be waiting for somebody better to come along. It means that he could be doing all kinds of things where he's really just getting his physical and emotional needs met through you, but he's not really that serious about you. Whereas commitment, what commitment means is that he, that you are both all in on this, right? You are both in the relationship, you are committed to making it work. You are dedicated to making this relationship work between the two of you, which is the situation, in my opinion, if that's something that you want, the situation that you should be in, right? And some people call that marriage, some people don't call that marriage because they don't want marriage. And so if you don't want marriage, what you do want is for him to say things like, you're the only one I want. I don't want to date or see or meet other people, you know, and all that kind of stuff, right? And so you want to make sure that it's moving in that direction and the way that you can make sure of that is to, one, have a conversation with him about what he's interested in, what he's looking for, you know, the kind of relationship that he wants to have and to make sure that you don't end up getting physically intimate with each other without exclusivity. And if you have gotten physically intimate with each other without exclusivity, that you make sure that you have that exclusivity conversation before you guys hook up again and make sure that he agrees to it. He agrees to the idea or he says that he just wants to be exclusive with you. Because if he doesn't say that and he just tries to get you to be exclusive, that's a problem, right? Because there are women out there, there are men out there who will try to get the other person to be exclusive while they can just run around town and do whatever they want. And you don't wanna be in that situation. You wanna both be exclusive with each other. And so that's kind of a long thing, but so that's my suggestion. That's my suggestion. I hope that helps, Mandy. All right, so Jerry says, Jerry Rose says, I pulled away he was not emotionally available. I stopped texting and he never, and he never texts back ever. Now I know he was not fully invested. I moved on. I liked all your advice, Matthew. You're awesome and I get it. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing, right? So Jerry, thank you so much for commenting on our chat here and explaining to everybody exactly the kind of situation that you can get into if you're in the situation where you're pursuing, you're chasing, you're investing, you're doing all these things. And he was never really interested from the start, right? That's that big red flag that you could end up missing. And so it sucks that you had to go through that, but it's a lesson learned, right? You've learned a lesson. Life is happening for you. And because life is happening for you, you're learning and you're growing and you're gonna be in a better situation or you're gonna be better prepared to get into a better situation in your future. So thank you so much for commenting there. Donna says, I'm in a long distance. My boyfriend always wants money, but he never wants me sexually, what do I do? Well, first I would never give money to anybody at all, especially in a long distance situation. There's a whole bunch of other questions there about have you guys actually met each other? Do you know each other personally? You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But in either case, I wouldn't ever give a man money ever, right? Why are you giving him money? Like that's a really, it's a really important question that you should be asking yourself. You know, one, if you guys haven't met before, this is probably a scam. If you have met before, then why would you ever give a man money? You know, he should be able to take care of himself. And what you're doing when you're giving him money is you're enabling him and stopping him from growing and becoming a stronger and better man. It's important that you don't enable people, right? Right now we live in a society of kids that have been enabled their whole lives where instead of letting them fall and get themselves back up, parents have been giving them money and helping them and making sure that they never fall or never get hurt or never get into bad situations. And now we live in this entitled society where everybody thinks that they should have everything for free and not do any work or grow or become an adult, right? And so now we've got a whole bunch of guys out there that are Peter Pan guys who have never grown up, right? They're flying around with Tinkerbell and not doing anything where they, they're avoiding responsibility. They're avoiding taking ownership of their lives and creating their lives by design because they've been given everything their whole lives growing up. And so my suggestion is that you stop enabling him, stop giving him money, make sure it's not a scam. If you haven't met him in person, it's almost certainly a scam. Stop giving anybody money. Don't ever give people money ever again and just assume that you're never gonna see any of that money back ever again and go find better men to date and be in relationships with. And my suggestion is that most of them be people that you can meet in your general area. You wanna build an abundance of options of men. Stop getting caught up on one guy that just wants money from, I mean, it's just, it's a toxic situation. You're in a toxic situation right now, Donna. And you need to get out of that situation as soon as you possibly can. That's my suggestion. Linda says, I get it. I did this recently once I realized he was not for me. It was easy to let go. Yeah, I mean, that's actually a great point there, Linda, is that when you start to realize that somebody really isn't for you and you see these red flags, it's easier to let go. And that's actually one of the things that I teach. I have a program called Breakup Remedy. I just kind of recreated the program. If you're interested in getting over a guy that you can't be with or that a guy that you broke up with and really reclaiming your power as a woman, my suggestion is that you go and pick up a copy of that program. It's at commitmentconnection.com forward slash breakup. And yeah, I mean, it's really important that you realize and that you see that he's not the right guy for you. It's very, very important. All right. Carmela says, what if he's moving too fast and investing too much right from the get-go? Is that always a red flag? If nothing else is negative yet, should we wait? Well, it's one of those things where you just want to kind of pull back, right? Cause like we were talking about before, right? There's a power dynamic. And you're in the situation right now where he is investing a lot and he's moving really fast and all that kind of stuff, which if you're really, really attracted to him as well can be a good thing cause it creates kind of this passion and this fire and you're just like, ah, and you just want to carry each other up or whatever. But it can be a problem in the long run because what will end up happening is if he's setting that frame, right? Where he's doing everything and he's just doing all that, that might be cute and nice at first but over time you'll kind of get in this situation where you feel like you deserve better, right? That he's not really in your league and he's not really as high value as you are. And what will end up happening then is that you will start losing interest and then you will be like, ah, do I really want to be with this guy? I don't really feel it for him because he doesn't do all those things that make you feel attracted and give you room and make you wonder and miss him and make you really attracted to him. And so it can be a red flag in the sense that what will end up happening is that you end up losing attraction and interest in him and then you're in a situation where you feel like you want to break up because you want something more interesting, right? Something that's more exciting, that has more variety or whatever, right? And unless he can figure out how to do that while still going really fast, which most guys don't, you know? Most guys, when they are going that fast, what's really going on with them is that their biological drive is kicked into gear. They think that you're just like this goddess, right? And so they create some kind of idealization of who you are and they aren't even really connecting with you. They're connecting with this kind of image that they have of you, which can be a problem down the road. So I just watch out for that. Just make sure that you go slow, don't go fast too fast, you know? Just let him reveal himself, let him learn more about you, make sure that you connect with him, right? Do things where you allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable so that he can see the real you and actually fall in love with the real you and connect with the real you. You know, if he's doing all those kinds of things, you can reach out to him a lot more often if that's something that you wanna do and it's not a problem at all. So that's what you want to think about. All right. So let's see here. Rosemary says, at what point does our leaning back end before we take it as he moved on? Well, if you've contacted, like it depends on the situation, right? Cause sometimes we get women in our community who will say things like, oh, this guy ghosted me or I'll have clients that contact me and they're like, yeah, this guy ghosted me. And I'm like, oh really? Well, you know, when was the last time you initiated contact with them? And they'll say, well, I haven't. And you're like, okay, so he hasn't initiated contact. You haven't initiated contact, right? So he might think that you ghosted him, right? Which is why it's important that you have that rule of one to three or one to four where you contact him every once in a while, right? And if you're in a situation where you're doing all of the chasing right now and all the pursuing, what you wanna do is just give him some space, right? Give him a week, right? Where you just give him some space and then send him a message and see what's going on with him and see if that picks up the conversation again and see if he starts initiating or saying sweet things or whatever, right? Because if you give him a week, what's gonna end up happening is if he's interested in you, if he's into you, if he wants to be with you, he'll start to miss you and he'll want to connect again and he'll be like, why aren't we talking? Why aren't you connecting? Like what's going on? And what you can do is just let him know that you've got some other things going on and that if he wants to meet up and if he wants to connect that he should reach out to you. And so it's not like, okay, you just cut off all contact and then, you know, see what happens. I mean, you can do that, right? That's a good test to see how interested he is in you if you've been doing all the work up into this point. But what you can also do is just wait a week, send him a message, you know, if you think that he's moving on anyway, then it doesn't matter if you just send him one message and just reach out to him and see how he's doing. And then just, you know, communicate what's going on with you assuming that he picks up that ball and hits it back to you, right? Then you want to have that conversation and talk about what's going on with you and let him know that you're getting busy and if that he wants to hang out that, you know, he should let you know. And basically what you're doing is you're flipping that frame and you're saying, Hey, start coming to me, start contacting me, start initiating with me if you're interested. And then you'll get to see how interested or not interested he is. And in that, during that time, what you should be doing is you should be meeting other men. You should be, you know, assuming that you guys aren't in a committed relationship, which it sounds like you're not, you should be out there meeting other men. You should be building an abundance of connection, connecting with your parents, connecting with animals, connecting with nature, building a connection with yourself, which is the most important connection. And you should be just creating your life and building a life and getting busy with your life and moving on and getting in situations where you make sure that you get into a situation where a guy is chasing you and he is pursuing you and he does want to build something great with you. Teresa says, I am in a committed relationship but he still sometimes pulls back for no reason. Yeah, and I guarantee there's a reason, right? You say he pulls back for no reason. I guarantee that there's a reason. And the reason could be a whole bunch of different things, right? It could be that he needs some space. It could be that he's lost a little bit of interest. He could be that his priorities have changed for the moment because he's got something busy at work. It could be that, you know, it could be a whole bunch of different things, right? And so you want to give them space, right? There's an ebb and flow to things. A lot of people, what they want is for everything to be stable and exactly the same way all the time forever. And it's never like that, right? Everything changes and things are constantly changing. And it's like, think about it like a heartbeat, right? Your heart, you know, does these beats, right? And it does these beats and it does these beats. Well, that's, there's going to be some kind of heartbeat to your relationship. And so you want to be in the ebb and flow of that heartbeat where if he pulls back, you give him some space. And if he's moving forward, you connect with him and you just do that, right? Whenever that happens, because like I said, it's almost guaranteed that at some point a guy's going to end up pulling away. And if you're worried about it or what's going on with it, just when he comes back, you know, make sure that you have a conversation with him about it and see what's going on with him. Make sure everything's okay. And, you know, see what he was doing or whatever, just in a very curious way, not attached, non, you know, looking for some kind of answer, not trying to make him do anything or fix him or any of that kind of stuff and just let him talk and talk about what's going on with him. All right, so that was that question. Kim says, this is the first time listening to your live. Your advice makes so much sense. I do a lot of chasing, resulting in imbalances. So thank you. Yeah, you wanna make sure that you're in the right situation, right? And it's one of those things where some people look at this and they're like, oh, you're doing something different than what you'd normally do. That means that you're playing games or something like that. And it doesn't. What it means is that you're learning psychology, right? You're learning biology. You're learning how people work and what works. And you're learning how to connect with a man in a better way. And be you and learn how to better connect with men. There's no contradiction there. And so you wanna do that. Let's see. Let's see here. Lisa says, you are amazing too bad there aren't more guys with your wisdom. Well, I appreciate your compliments, Lisa. I really do. I'm a sucker for compliments. So thank you so much. Let's see what else we have here. Joy says, I was attracted to a man when I was younger and he put me in the friend zone and now back in my life after many years, I'm attracted to him still. Could I still be in the friend zone after all this time? You could definitely still be in the friend zone after all this time. But there's definitely ways that you can get out of the friend zone, right? The friend zone isn't that bad of a place to be for a woman, right? For men, it's kind of a really bad place because if you get stuck in the friend zone as a man that can be a really, really painful longterm place for you to be in. But as a woman, it's a lot easier to get out of, right? If you want to get into a more romantic type of a situation with a man, there are very specific things that you can say to him that will trigger his romantic and sexual drive so that he starts looking at you in a romantic situation instead of a platonic situation. I actually created a program or a video called how to turn your guy friend into your boyfriend. It's a live stream and I go over, I think it was like six or eight different techniques that you can do that are really, really powerful things that you can say questions that you can ask him that will turn him on and make him feel like he wants more of a romantic connection with you. And it's a really, really, really powerful live stream. So go check that out. It's really good one. So there's a lot of women that come to us and they're in different situations where a lot of guys will pull back right now. This is a huge thing that's going on where in just about any situation, right? Just about any kind of relationship or dating situation at some point, the guy that you're seeing will end up pulling back for one reason or another or many different things. And you have to make sure that you absolutely do not chase him in that situation because you will flip the dynamics of the situation and then you will be the one that's doing everything and he'll start taking you for granted and all that kind of stuff. But if you're in a situation where a guy's gone cold on you or he ignored one of your text messages or he pulled back from you in some kind of way, I do have a four word text message that you can send to him that's designed to get his attention. And for a lot of the women that have used it, it's made guys apologize, contact them back, apologize, take them out to dinner and all kinds of other things like that. And it will give you, if you send that text message to him, it will give you a clear determination about what's going on with him. And this text message is a part of my program, The Forever Woman, which you can get free access to. Just go to theforeverwomanformula.com and watch the video that's on that page and then sign up for free access to the program and you can get that program totally for free. Go through the whole thing. I recommend that you go through it a couple of times and we've had women that have completely changed that, that we thought they were gonna be single for the rest of their lives, who completely flipped everything around and got into committed relationships. Some of them have gotten married as a result of it because that's what they want. Some women don't wanna get married and that's fine too. It's helped women turn around their marriages that were falling apart. It's helped women get over their exes that they've had challenges getting over before. It's helped women get back with their exes that wanted to get back together with their exes. And so my suggestion is that if you don't have that program yet, go to theforeverwomanformula.com and you can get a copy of my program there. Thank you so much everybody for being with me on this live stream. Thank you for trusting me and me helping you on your journey to creating and getting into the relationship that you've always wanted. I gotta get going right now. There's, I just got a text message from a friend who was saying that there's a big pile of kittens and they want me to go and lay in this giant pile of kittens. So I gotta get going. I gotta go. Thank you so much for being here and always remember, you are worth it. See you in the next video.