 witnessing a holy moment here because my wife Jane has joined me on the platform tonight to answer your red-hot questions and so this is this is awesome because she has so much wisdom and so much experience that we have together obviously and being married for almost 28 years so we're gonna do the best that we can to kind of share out of our experience from that in response to your questions as well as parenting and so Jane all of our kids we have three kids and they are all grown and out of the house well Tiffany is kind of a boomerang she goes to college and then comes back and goes to college and comes back but they're all grown and I just want to give all the credit that Jane is the reason why our kids are well-balanced and healthy and alive today because of her so awesome mom so tonight for red-hot we're gonna be answering questions from both Portage so Portage you guys don't don't sit back ask your questions those are online and here at Richland campus as well we're gonna be taking your questions on the subject of family and on parenting so anything that kind of wraps up around marriage family parenting is is game tonight and so if you haven't asked a question you can go to radiant.church slash red-hot and we're gonna take questions tonight and at both of our services tomorrow and looking forward to it so and I told me that if the questions are all like last week I was only gonna do tonight so so be nice she got me back up here tomorrow yeah that's nice yeah she agreed to do this before last week and then when she heard all the questions she's like I'm not doing it I said I already announced it so you have to do it so so tonight is for sure we'll see what tomorrow holds but we're gonna go ahead and jump right in and take some of the questions so here we go this is from John Z have no idea who that is is it true that in high school you and Jane once had a science class together and on the first day you said to her sat by her and whispered it looks like we have chemistry together no next question okay thanks for playing John this is Kay from online if you are married and you are further along spiritually than your husband how do you let him be the quote head of the house or spiritual leader that's a great question I think what is important is to understand it's not so much about letting him be the spiritual head of the house it's it's something that whether he wants that or not it's part of how God has designed marriage and a responsibility that is on the husband as the father as the husband that he is the head and when you if you were to study headship in the New Testament because a lot of times in our culture when we use words like head we think it's like domination but that's not at all what it means word head actually means responsibility carries the responsibility which means he's not just the one who gets to make the calls he's the one that's going to be accountable and so you're not letting him be the head because there's only one head he is the head which means he's the one who is responsible for that but there is some things that I think in marriage are really important that wives and husbands really understand about each other and in Peter it talks about so much that it talks about different roles in first Peter chapter 3 it says likewise wives be subject to your own husband so that even if some do not obey the word in other words they're not a disciple of Jesus they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respect in pure conduct so I think what's important understand is your attitude as a wife so he may be a Christian and just not as far along spiritually mature as you are or maybe not as overtly demonstrative in his faith or in his personality he's still the the one responsible over the household your responsibility is how you respond to him and I would say that the number one thing that you can do to bring peace in the household and how you quote allow him to be the spiritual leader is speak words of encouragement words of honor to him instead of telling him all the things that he's not instead of telling him all the things that you wish he would do differently or I wish you would you know stay the Bible with me I wish you would read the Bible I wish you'd go to church more often with me very few times in the history of humanity is a man going to respond yeah I'm a terrible person and you're right let me do exactly what you want me to do but a man is designed to respond to words of encouragement and I feel like so many times that women who feel like maybe they're more spiritually ahead of their husbands don't ever give their husbands time to lead or time to show even where they are spiritually because like what Lee was saying some of them are more quiet or insecure in and or afraid that like they're gonna be you know their wives maybe will come down hard on them and so just well they feel embarrassed right exactly there's a lot of guys who are like well I don't know the Bible as well as you you know you go to Bible studies or you do this I haven't done that there's a little bit of an intimidation factor but if you encourage them it's like if he comes to church with you it's like a speaker word or write them a little note thank you for going to church with me or you know what the sexiest thing that you do is hold my hand in worship that I mean you tell a guy that he'll be at church every Sunday holding your hand you know what when I when I see you reading the Bible or when you when you pray with us go ahead and I think sometimes our expectations can be so highly we have to pray every night we have to read through the Bible we have to and I mean I'll obviously all that is awesome but there also is that thing of he has his personal relationship with the Lord I have my personal relationship with the Lord we don't pray together every night you know I mean we try we probably do a couple nights a week a lot of the times in the morning for our kids but nothing you know super deep and so I think sometimes I know but I do I've met with women who are like you know I just wish my husband would want to pray with me and then it's just like yeah it that's sometimes just isn't reality I don't know that's true you're right praise God you're right and but and you can also speak to the things that he is they don't have to be spiritual it's like I love how you provide for our family when you show honor to your husband he's gonna grow he's gonna flourish but if you make him feel guilty he's gonna shrink and he's going to avoid let me just tell you something about guys in general we avoid environments that we're not confident in ourselves in and so I'm not confident at fixing things so if you had a barn raising don't call me because I'm not showing up I'm not gonna come over there if you have a theology discussion I'll probably show up that's things that I'm confident in so speak words of confidence because there's there's power in the words of a wife I really believe that and if you'll do that it's amazing how you can actually strengthen and build your husband up okay let's take another question this is from Susanna in Richland which comes first if you are a spouse and a parent parenting or your marriage ha I love this question it's a great question here's what you need to understand a family the root of a family is one man and one woman in covenant that create a family that is a family out of that family children are born but children do not stay the goal of parenting is to train children up to reproduce and I'm not just talking about having physical children I'm talking about reproducing the faith in a relationship with God that you have that is the nucleus of a family and so our job in raising our kids we loved our kids but you know what they're only little for so long and then they're teenagers and then they're adults and if you put all of your focus on the kids and you don't make your marriage first your marriage is going to be until death do you part but your children it's going to be until you graduate do you depart your children the goal is not for them to be 40 years old and still living in a basement same but I love mom I don't want to leave mom I'm mom's favorite and so I want to live here for the rest of my life it's that's inordinate and so you want to know what comes first the marriage has to come first so we would actually tell our kids it's like I love you but you know what I'm I love your mom first and I love her more in that way that we're committed to one another you're not going to drive a wedge between us I'm committed to your mom we're gonna have date day we're gonna have date time together and there's gonna be times where we have discussions that you're not invited into it's because we have a relationship because your family obviously is only strong as your marriages but I remember Lee always when he would touch the kids down and we'd pray for them would be like I love God first I love your mom and then I love you kids yeah and I just think that's so healthy because that's really the truth yeah yeah and then when I would ask my kids who who do I love before you and they would say you love mom I would say that's right and that's gross and it's like you'll get it when you get older and so absolutely and here's the problem when we have parent-centered homes we rave self-centered kids and we don't want to raise self-centered kids because self-centered kids do not grow up to be good husbands and good wives because marriage is not about self-centeredness it's about self-sacrifice so the greatest gift that you can give to your kids is demonstrating self sacrifice in your marriage relationship making that first God first God's the center and everything flows out of that and your marriage has got to be the priority so you've got to prioritize date dating you've got a you know guys put deodorant on and take your wives out for dinner ladies get rid of the sweats and put some outfit on and some war paint and go and have a great date day all right there you go I'll get all kinds of emails for that one but it's okay here we go Hannah from Richland the Bible says to be fruitful and multiply I am married woman and I love children but I don't feel the call on my life to have children am I disobeying what God has called us to do well I think there may that's a that's a complex question and if I were having a one-on-one conversation with you I would want to know more about that because I could give you a simple answer and it probably is not going to really answer the issue that's going on I would ask the question why don't you want to have children and there may be legitimate reasons why you don't want to have children there are people that would like to have children can't have children does that mean that they're being disobedient to God or that occurs is on their life well absolutely not there are people that don't want to have children and sometimes those are for good reasons and sometimes they're for not so great reasons one of the so if I'm just talking in generalities one of the purposes of marriage if you read Genesis and you read Malachi is so that God would have a righteous seed in the earth children and fruitfulness is supposed to be part of marriage now if there are some people don't want to have kids because they have genetic things and they don't want to pass that on other people have experienced pain in their childhood and they're afraid of the kind of parent they'll be or they're afraid of they're having the same type of experiences with their kids most of the time when somebody says I don't want to have children I want to be married but I don't want to have children now I'm saying this in generalities it's because there is pain in their past a lot of times it's because there is pain in their past or they've got some professional thing that is going on it may be a season that they're in right now and they say well I don't want to have children now maybe a little bit later sometimes it has to do with present pain that they might be married to somebody that they're not confident that if we have children I'm not sure that they're gonna be around there are all kinds of issues around that here's what I would say I would say that before you say that you don't want to have children ask God the question do you want me to have children see part of the greatness of our relationship with God is we can say okay God what's your plans for me and I'm not saying that in a super spiritual way but it's so easy for us to tell God what we want sometimes we just need to stop and say God what do you want for my life and I don't think that there's easy answers to this particular type of question so before I just put a dot on it I would say that I think that maybe that is something you ask God maybe that's something you sit down with some people that you trust and process the why of it maybe you have a really good reason for why that you don't want that and you know what that's up to you and that's up to God nobody can make judgments about that but I think at the end of the day though we need to be careful that we're not just living in the moment and living for ourselves because I've seen so many people that then get down the road and say you know what I wish I had had kids I wish I had done that Jane and I we had three and at 28 she's like you're going to get fixed because we're too good at this and and so I went I I went to see the doc guys doctor through is all right and so I went and saw doctor through because we were through and and then years later though it was like I wish we had had one more I wish we had had one more so you know be be careful what you think you want and always take it before the Lord get wisdom from others and really pray through that anything you want to say on that nope you're smart okay here we go this is Kay from Richland Jane what advice do you have for those of us in the trenches of motherhood with the littles how did you grow your relationship with the Lord when your children little and everything was so busy and chaotic that's a great question that is a great question Lynn I took a walk this morning we're talking about that so literally your children grow up so fast and I know people tell you that and I remember people telling me that I rolled my eyes and be like I don't believe you you know I mean but now I'm like oh my gosh actually it's 26 and Jared's 20 almost 25 and Tiffany's almost 22 next week and I'm like how and I have a grandbaby I'm like how did this happen it does it goes so fast so just to say that that it does go so fast so enjoy every moment because I know it's hard I mean I was a stay-at-home mom Lee was busy we were starting the church there are days I would be like we had the little beep phones and I beep them and he'd be at a lunch but I wouldn't know it and I didn't really know how to work the phone and he'd be like I'm at a lunch and I'd beep I'm like when are you coming home oh my gosh the kids are driving me crazy and he'd be like okay I like I call you back but I'm so just I would get this beep I'm in the middle of a meeting and it would go beep beep what are you doing I'm like I'm gonna meet it beep beep I'm in a meeting and then the background I hear she's like beep beep get home and then just to throw Jared under the bus because he's not here but he literally was so hard it was so and I remember at two to him Lee coming home from work and I'm like I don't think we can do ministry I think we're disqualified he's so naughty like I just don't think that we're called to do this we can't he's like oh my gosh Shane we can we're we're supposed to do this like he's too we can we can get through this so so just remember that and then I literally made myself get up in the morning and just have like a half an hour with the Lord like I'd have the coffee set and I would get up at I think it was like 530 and I was tired but I literally most days and I'm like shoot why aren't I doing that but I would get up and just have that time with the Lord and I would journal and and so there is ways to do it like when the kids nap get up early step a little bit later which I didn't want to do and it and I think in our minds that we think that has to be something that's so great and so profound and it is hours long and God is just open the heavens and spoke to us and it doesn't you know what I mean it's just that consistency of being in the word of worship I mean I'd always have like Jason opting going on in the background or whatever and just that consistency and then you just grow in it and I mean I really feel like most days I got up and I did that and it was nice for me because it was time by myself right and yeah I didn't do that so I would wake up and she was already on the couch had already prayed is reading her Bible and had coffee and I would get up and she had that moment so that when the kids got up she was ready to go and I always admired that because you know I didn't want to get up that early I was like I'll get up at 630 or whatever and she had already been up but she like you said it wasn't always like two three hours but she had always been up for maybe a half an hour even if I just got the proverb of the day and I was happy and so I just want to say to your mom's just like don't put so much pressure on yourself and then through the day I literally always had worship music going on in the house and our house all the time we had a computer in the kitchen and it had iTunes on there when that first came out and I don't I don't think we turn that computer off for like eight years and it just had worship on loop is never I'd actually would just all a planet shakers Hillsong back in the day I mean we had those songs on loop and our kids knew all the words whether they liked it or not because it was all that was playing so yeah so don't put pressure on yourself and honestly just know that it goes so fast and every mom that has grown kids can agree with me on that one I'm sure yeah so just enjoy him enjoy him enjoy the mess enjoy the busyness enjoy it so it makes some good friends I have great friends I am bats I mean we used to call me the magic school bus because we would get together all the time so just find a couple of friends and get together it makes it so much more easy and fun and so yeah that's right great answer okay next question Kim from Portage hey Portage with such easy access to media cell phones internet and the way our culture has become over centralized how do I protect my children from being exposed to pornography that's a great question and it is one of the great battles of our day with raising kids so our kids when they were coming up cell phones were just kind of on the rise texting was kind of the thing and you didn't have smartphones until they were a little bit older as teenagers that kind of came on the scene and I don't remember how old our kids were it was like 13 I think before we got them a cell phone they were flip phones I mean they were like little flip phones remember the Motorola razors which by the way I still like those phones they're still sweet you know little flip things and so they could text but we didn't we didn't necessarily have the internet access on those phones a great book I would encourage parents to get is is number one is called faith for exiles and it's by David Kineman it's talking about raising kids in a digital Babylon and and I think there's another one pixelated parenting and it's got advice for how to raise your kids in this type of environment because it is a challenge just recently saw some statistics that said that an 11 year old boy in this generation will see a hundred and fifty thousand views of pornography before he's 11 years old that's on average the largest market of viewership for pornography online is adolescent boys it's just insane when I was growing up the the pornography that we were exposed to was if you had a crazy uncle and he had a magazine or maybe your dad or somebody had it in the house and you know somebody snuck it out of their house and you left it in the woods or something like that or maybe you watched a movie on cable or something like that today it's in our hands and so I think parents you have to be you have to be proactive and you have to be in agreement if you're if your husband wife you're married if you're a single parent it's just you you have to be proactive and preemptive and how you are going to approach internet access go ahead and you can't be scared of your kids no don't be scared you know I mean like they're gonna be like I'm the only one that doesn't get the phone at night and blah blah blah it's just like well you know in our house this is what we do and I would and I know I mentioned saying no because we didn't we weren't there but I would think that we would have had a basket or something yeah yeah they have a basket in the kitchen and so when you come home your phone goes in the basket everybody's and so and that's where it stays if you need to charge it there's chargers right there and if you need to check it throughout the evening before you go to bed you can go and you know you can check it and you can respond to text you know right there but they don't allow their kids to have them on 24-7 they don't allow them to take them to the room one thing that we did was we never allowed our kids to have computers in the room they didn't have laptops and we had one computer for the family that was in our kitchen open access that way if our kids were doing homework well they had to do it right there where we could see it it had internet access we could see the history I would say today if your kids have iPads and computers that you need to have their passwords you need to have accessibility to it I would put software on there like Covenant Eyes or triple X or something on there in which you are one of the accountability partners so if they're gonna try and go around it they're gonna have to work really really hard at it and know that you're gonna check up that and here's what your kids are gonna say you're invading my privacy and here's my answer this house is my privacy so if you want your own privacy it's called move out get your own rent pay your own bills eat your own few your own food and you can do that when you're 18 years old but until that time you live in my house this is not a democracy this is a malevolent dictatorship I am a beneficent dictator and yes I am lording it over you I am violating all of your civil rights but I'm paying all the bills and so I would probably not give my kids smartphones until they're old enough and proven enough here's the thing you wouldn't give your 14-year-old kid a set of keys to us to a race car and the reason why you wouldn't is number one they haven't proven that they know how to handle a car they've not been trained in it and that amount of horsepower they could kill themselves why are we putting race cars in their hands when they're 13 years old when they're not trained they haven't proven themselves and they have access to things that they can't handle and so I would be very cautious in doing that and parents you got to get thick skin because your kid wait if you're looking for your kids to like you then you're gonna live your life stressed out and full of anxiety and your kids are gonna run right over you you just have to have a long game vision it's like my kids are gonna like me someday someday someday we can be friends and someday you'll understand all of my decisions when your frontal lobe is fully developed and you and boys you don't have you have enough testosterone flowing through your teenage body to knock out a horse and so you're not making rational decisions your frontal lobe is not fully developed so I'm gonna make them for you I'll make those decisions for you and I think as parents we got to get over that and I think that as parents and even Christian parents or whatever that we need to be more like on the know of what is going on because there's so many apps that they like disguise you know like I saw something that like a calculator that they can download really isn't a calculator it's some I mean it's just crazy and I think that sometimes we're like oh but I mean to really dig in and figure out what is on their phone what they're looking at and all that and just not be like trust them or yeah I think it is what what it was even five years ago I feel like it's changed so much and just be proactive in that and really investigate I feel like it's our job his parents to do that even as tearing as it may be and it might be easier to be like I don't want to but it can open up so many doors that children are our greatest investment and so we need to be educated in the things that we're investing into and so we need to be we need to be students of culture the apps that she's talking about we read some articles on that where there's actually apps that have been developed that look like calculator the calculator app on your smartphone that you can download so that if they if your parents scroll through your phone they see a calculator they'll leave it alone but if you click it it's actually a like a WhatsApp chat thing or it's a online chat room where it it's basically a sexting environment and so parents the only way that you're gonna know that stuff is if you're studying what's going on you're utilizing focus on the family family research committee your reading books if children and families are really our number one investment then think about how much you study before you invest your money into retirement and 401ks or in mutual funds you need to study that much to be a parent and to be a husband or a wife okay thanks for the collapse that was awesome okay this is Sarah online is it okay to read trashy novels or watch movies to enhance your marital sex life answer that one I'm not answering well Jane and I have read all the 50 shades of gray together no we have not the fact that you describe them as trashy and that you're talking about enhancing your marital sex life with things that you describe as trashy let me just say that that that speaks to a underlying deficit that's already there and no you don't need to compromise your moral values in order to enhance your sexual life within your marriage the key is maybe resolve some issues that are underlying in your marriage because when there's intimacy you don't have to if the only way we can have a healthy sex life and a satisfying sex life is if we receive an infusion of the world's twisted and perverted view of sexuality then what we're saying to God is what you created isn't enough and the reality is our own brokenness is actually the deficit and Jesus offers healing for that and I whoever is Sarah online thank you for asking that and thank you for your vulnerability but I would just say look that's a deep rabbit hole you continue to go down the world's way and you and then it's gonna take something else and that's gonna take something else and that's gonna take something else and you will never find satisfaction satisfaction is found in true intimacy where you can be vulnerable you are committed to one another and you kind of learn from one another and I thought maybe you were gonna jump in here and not yeah okay keep waiting on you go ahead jump jump jump and so I would say no you don't need that in fact I think it's actually detrimental because let me let me say this for a man men are visually stimulated okay so that's where pornography comes in for the most part men are attracted to pornography because they see something and it turns them on for it for most women this is a generality but the way that women are wired it's more emotional and so reading a harlequin romance or 50 shades of gray or whatever does something to a woman's emotions that is similar to what visual pornography does to a man and so sometimes a trashy novel is just as detrimental for a woman as pornography is to a man and so it's emotional pornography so a lot of times where it's like well he's dirty he's watching porn as we're reading these trashy novels off the bookshelves about you know I can't believe it's not butter or whoever that guy is you know Fabio with the long-flowing hair sweeps over the feet it's like it's creating a fantasy that's not reality and then your husband comes home and instead of a six pack he's got a six gallon and he doesn't have long flowing you know blonde hair because he's been at the gym he comes home in a nasty car hard jacket and you're just like you're not what I read about it's like no he needs to become your fantasy not Flopio okay so there we go anyways next question not ready to jump in okay so Shawn is it okay to get divorced if your spouse identifies as LGBT after marriage wow that's a big question so what I would need to know is this so when they say when they're identifying as LGBT so if you're unfamiliar with what that means lesbian gay bisexual transgender and that's a wide range okay of descriptions and four letters but if you're saying to me that after marriage the person you're married to in their transparency and vulnerability with you honestly say that they struggle in temptation in those arenas then that's that's an issue that you you guys can work on and you can get some help and there can be healing and you can still have a very healthy and successful marriage because there's transparency and there's honesty and and obviously there's an attraction that took place but if you're saying that after marriage they're saying I made a mistake in marrying you because I'm something else and I want to pursue that if that person if that individual is unwilling to repent and I'm assuming that there's two believers here if there's not then that's that's a different situation if you're a believer and your spouse is an unbeliever and they identify as LGBT and say I don't want to be married to you and they abandon that marriage yes you can get remarried you can get divorced and it may not be your desire but if they abandon the marriage Paul says in 1st Corinthians you're free but if we're talking about two believers then we ought to have more faith and the ability of God to transform and change us and heal that which he has put together he said let no man divide Matthew chapter 19 Genesis chapter 2 what God has brought together let no man bring or divide asunder he's able to transform and he's able to heal if there's transparency and there's honesty now if what you're saying is that after we got married my partner began to act out on their LGBT desires and then they've informed me without repentance of the partner who's participating in that you absolutely have grounds for divorce because that's sexual immorality and that would be true if it wasn't lesbian gay or bisexual transgenderism that would be equally true if you had a partner that was having sex outside of their marriage and their relationship with you with a heterosexual individual it still falls into the category of sexual immorality and when that is unrepentant when not repented of and you've done all that you can to bring restoration you absolutely have biblical grounds to divorce them and then be free in the Lord to move on and I'm not sure of what's going on for Sean but Sean I just want you to know we praying for you we pray for healing if this is a real-life situation we pray that God will bring healing bring clarity will bring truth to that situation so that that marriage can make it anything you want to add to that okay next question Rick online why was polygamy and multiple concubines allowed in the Old Testament and yet God says marriage is between one man and one woman why and when did this design seem to change that's an awesome question it's interesting to me by the way I don't know if anybody saw this but the state of Utah just decriminalized polygamy last week so it is no longer a criminal offense in the state of Utah which has a huge Mormon majority and the Mormon church if you say the history of the Church of Latter-day Saints that was founded by Joseph Smith and then followed up by bring them young they taught polygamy and actually many of them even to this day continue to practice that different sex in in Utah and so they've just decriminalized it so here's the answer the Bible records some things that are descriptive and some things that are prescriptive in other words when the Bible tells you to love your neighbor that is prescriptive God's telling you what to do some things that you read in the Bible that people did are just being described God's not putting a seal of approval on it and so nowhere in the Bible will you see that God commands or condones polygamy or multiple concubines in fact almost every time that you see in the Bible whether it's Abraham whether it's David whether it's Solomon these guys who did it because it was very pot it was very common in those cultures at that particular time they were actually adapting to culture they were not staying within the confines of covenant with God and almost every single time that they did it there was controversy there were problems and there was sin that emerged out of it you will never see blessing that comes out of those things and so when you see that it's it's descriptive what is God prescribed Genesis chapter 2 before the fall it says that a man and a man shall leave his father his mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh and let no man divide what God has brought together that Matthew chapter 9 19 Jesus said from the very beginning he created them male and female and brought them together one man one woman in the bonds of marriage in the sight of God that was God's prescription for marriage then what we see is a lot of people who make a lot of mistakes and jack things up along the way and all the all the stuff that we see right now going on in the Middle East it's because of adultery and polygamy the battles between Arab Muslims and Jewish people and even Christians in the Middle East is all the result of Ishmael and Ishmael and his descendants that go all the way back to Abraham who when his wife said oh I can't have children because she didn't have the patience to wait for God to fulfill his word brought her servant in to Abraham and Abraham didn't have enough ethics or integrity to say no I'm not going to do that so he did it and then an Ishmael was born out of that and the descendants of Ishmael are the Arabs and there's been contention ever since in the Middle East so if you want that to be your legacy go ahead move to Utah and and have a polygamous marriage if you want to that's what you have to look forward to but if we do it God's way we receive God's blessing and unfortunately concubines that means they're unmarried sex slaves basically or sex partners I want you to think about this Solomon had hundreds of them he had hundreds of wives which I don't know for the life of me how he made it through the Bible says he was one of the wisest men who ever lived that was dumb can you imagine his marriage counseling bill I mean and then he had concubines by the hundreds as well if you look at the life the lineage of how sin compounds from generation to generation in the same way that blessing compounds think about this Psalm 51 David describes himself as I was conceived in sin many scholars believe that David was the kid out in the back 40 because he was actually a child from an adulterous relationship that his father Jesse had so Jesse has an adulterous relationship has gives birth to David David had Mary's multiple women and commits adultery with a Bathsheba he gives birth to Solomon he also gives birth to Absalom and he also gives birth to Tamar and so there's incest that comes as a result of that and then Solomon has multiple wives and hundreds of concubines and what does he do he builds temples next to God's temple for the worship of false gods and he ends up writing Ecclesiastes and at the end of his life he says vanity vanity everything is vanity in other words it's all emptiness and then Solomon's son becomes the king and Israel and Judah are divided so it goes from Jesse one to multiple generations and even nations that are divided three generations later that's what concubines and polygamy creates now if we do it God's way then we can expect his blessing not not just a one generation he says but to those who honor his word in Deuteronomy 27 he says to those who honors word his blessing goes down to a thousand generations how many want a thousand generation blessing on your family then stay married do it God's way there you go okay we did it Jane anything you want to say before we pray say bye to everybody let's all stand up together would you stand with me Lord we love you and we're so grateful for your faithfulness to us we're so grateful that you've given us the privilege of building families and entering into the covenant of marriage which is the only institution on the face of the earth that you said mirrors your relationship with the church it's Christ and his bride Lord what a privilege what a joy and tonight we just pray for marriages we pray for families we pray for those who want to be married we pray for those who are in marriages that are struggling Lord and we pray for those who are building legacies in their marriage pray for kids and households and families Lord we pray have your way Lord bring healing where there needs to be healing I pray let there be strength where things are weak Lord I pray for those who are on this journey of building families and it's all brand new to them Lord that they would build a household of faith on your word in your house loving Jesus with all their heart loving one another and enjoying the gift of life together Lord we pray for change in those who are experiencing brokenness right now those who are praying for spouses that do not serve the Lord we pray that there would be breakthrough those who are praying for kids or prodigals Lord we just stand with them and we say Lord we've trained them up in the way that they should go and we declare that when they are old they shall not depart from the faith but they shall be planted in the house of the Lord they shall flourish and they shall be fruitful all the days of their lives God we're just so grateful that you've called us into your family and that you've given us your word as a grid and a foundation and a blueprint to build our lives on I want to invite our prayer partners to and our prayer ministry teams at both campuses to move into place down at the front if they would while our heads are bought and our eyes are closed all over the room I before we close and dismiss I know that whenever we ask questions or we answer questions like what we've had answered tonight sometimes it's it's very close to what we're going through or sometimes just a question has a way of awakening pain fear or a situation that we need God to break through and you know sometimes we think about red hot is these questions are going to be hot but really the whole goal of red hot is that our faith in Jesus and our pursuit of God would actually be hot it would be we would be on fire in our trust of God and tonight if you feel like maybe your faith has grown lukewarm at best and you want that flame to be fanned again and become red hot and tonight we're just going to invite you in a moment to come and receive prayer and just say to come to one of the prayer partners and just say I want I want my faith to come alive again you might be here and just in the middle of a battle in the middle of a situation in your family your marriage or a dating relationship or whatever it is and you're just like I need God to break through I need a miracle we're going to invite you to come in just a moment and receive prayer you might be somebody you're sitting back and coming to coming to a realization that there's things on the inside of you that you need to repent you need to change you need to invite Jesus to become Lord of that area of your life I want to challenge you tonight don't pack it up and take it with you surrender it to Jesus let let that let that faucet get opened in your life of God's blessing once again let the flow of his divine favor have flow in your life again Lord tonight as we dismiss we thank you for your goodness your grace and your mercy send us from this place full of joy full of peace knowing that we belong to you and meet us down front Lord as prayer happens Holy Spirit come and do what only you can do break off chains open eyes heal hearts restore hope bring forgiveness save to the uttermost we pray in Jesus name amen and amen