 Hello, fans of Site 42. My name is Dr. Sumerian, and I'm back to read more things that Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the Foundation. Let's get started. Dr. Bright is not allowed near any carbonated beverages while in possession of Mentos branded mints. The last time that happened he somehow managed to create an earthquake in the east coast of the United States. Also, Dr. Bright is not allowed to claim responsibility for earthquakes and other natural disasters unless he is actually responsible for them. Dr. Bright is not allowed to dare new personnel or really anyone to play peek-a-boo with either SCP-569 or SCP-173. When ordering things online, send them to a peel box, not directly to Site 19. We've already had three postmen show up at the front door. How did they even find us? You know what? Dr. Bright is not allowed to give directions to Site 19 to any non-Foundation personnel. The SCP Foundation does not have a chief defenestrator position. An agent clef is not allowed to create new positions. Any proposed containment procedures that include the phrase giant robot are to be automatically rejected. Excessive force is not the same as THE force, therefore using it does not make Dr. Bright a Jedi. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Team Fortress 2. Yes, a medigun would be a useful tool for the Foundation medical staff. No, we are not going to waste any more SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not after what happened with SCP-427. But Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Minecraft either, and your Diamond Pickaxe has been confiscated. In fact, Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft any items ever. Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell future hosts that you are about to become very bright, and he can't tell anyone that possession is nine-tenths of the law. And Dr. Bright is not allowed to refer to D-Class personnel as extra lives. Dr. Bright is not allowed to send SCP-1004 over an email message. And no matter the electricity savings, no product of SCP-158 is to be used for illumination. SCP-001 is not Dr. Bright's penis. The hammer is also not his penis, and Dr. Bright is not allowed to use his genitals for construction purposes. Dr. Bright possesses the ability of consciousness transfer and the artifact SCP-963. He does not possess any of the following laser eyes, laser nostrils, laser penis, a green, red, or literally any lantern ring, an adamantium skeleton, enderill, mullionnear, a map leading to all of the Nazi cold, the ancient medallion, a copy of the Necronomicon, a King James version of the Necronomicon, cybernetic implants of any kind, the dragonzord, and I don't care how you created it, put it back. The seventh element of harmony, the touch, the power, the secret, telepathy, telekinesis, the original filming model of any fictional spacecraft, elite Hexer skills, the sixth sense, the ability to distinguish between butter and I can't believe it's not butter. If Dr. Bright's current form is cited near an armory without express permission, initiate evacuation procedures. Dr. Bright is not allowed to test SCP-826 with his self-authored comic book entitled Dr. Bright and the 79 Virgins, or Playboy Magazines, or you know what, any tests with SCP-826. They're just banned. Dr. Bright is not allowed to tell new D-Class personnel that SCP-439 has escaped into the barracks. Dr. Bright is not allowed to convince other personnel that they are actually Dr. Bright. Dr. Bright is not allowed to challenge SCP-082 to a drinking contest, even if he's positive he can win. We have never had a Jamaican vacation giveaway, Dr. Bright is not in charge of it, and SCP-342 is not the official Foundation travel voucher. Dr. Bright is not allowed to access SCP-243 except under strict supervision. I think we all remember the Great Marital Aid migration of 2011. Dr. Bright is not allowed to access the IT department hotline, or access the IT department database, or access any networking equipment belonging to the IT department. Dr. Bright is not allowed to bring samples of SCP-1361 to Foundation potlucks, barbecues, or charity food drives. SCP-963 is not a soul gym, and making contact with Dr. Bright will not turn you into a magical girl, not even if he includes a magical girl outfit. SCP-137 is never to be used on sex toys. Under no circumstances is Dr. Bright allowed to expose SCP-137 to Warhammer 40K minifigures. Again, not even in an attempt to terminate SCP-682, or anything made by Wondertainment. Dr. Bright is not allowed to have Able get into arguments with forum trolls. Dr. Bright is not allowed to go trick-or-treating, ever. Able is not Kratos. Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to produce, create, or remind staff of SCP-Robot Wars. Copies of SCP-1981 are not to be submitted to America's funniest home videos or posted on YouTube, or posted on Pornhub, or to Tosh.O. Dr. Bright is not allowed to just say no to O5 orders on the grounds that there are instances of SCP-5200-J. Dr. Bright is not allowed to refer to O5 command, MTF command-iters, the janitor, or any foundation personnel as the cool kids. Dr. Bright is not the final boss of anything. Dr. Bright is not one the internet, and is not authorized to declare that any other individual has done so. Nor is he allowed to claim or distribute instances of SCP-335 under said premise. Dr. Bright is not allowed to show Junior Stappers his cutie mark. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use SCP-137 on any Hasbro product. Dr. Bright is not allowed to take SCP-1187 for a morning ride. Dr. Bright is not allowed to submit any incident reports to the Darwin Awards, not even if you are sure you'll win. Dr. Bright is not allowed to teach SCP-1370 to play multiplayer video games. It was not an improvement, giving it the vocabulary of an average p-team Fortnite player, or introducing it to the concept of teabagging. The iPods do not need hats, bow ties, or any other form of clothing. Dr. Bright is not allowed to use expunged data in SCP reports as mad libs. RoboDude is not a piece of the broken god. Dr. Bright is not allowed to create an anatomically correct body pillow, modeled after SCP-173, or SCP-105, or SCP-999-J, or SCP-076-02, or Dr. Crow. The following are not appropriate sources for D-Class personnel. Temp agencies, Craig's List, reality show talent pools, Jerry Springer tapings, orphans, urchins, ragamuffins, those sons of bitches who scratched up my paint job at the car wash, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-partners of any gender variation whatsoever, staff members-in-laws, YouTube comment threads, forum trolls, angsty teens, bad applicants to the SCP Foundation, Occupy Wall Street, the Tea Party, the Green Party, the Green Party, or the Gathering of the Juggalos. Also, the following items are not SCPs, rainbows, double rainbows, rainbooms, sonic or otherwise, the tides, the moon, fucking magnets, rocks that skip three times before they go underwater, soy cheese, hippies, hipsters, milfs, gmilfs, ggmilfs, actually funny SNL skits, people who can solve Rubik's cubes, any Pokemon. Alright, I think that's enough for now. We're gonna go ahead and end the episode here. If you liked it, please hit the subscribe button, and check out one of the videos on my channel. You can see one of those on the screen right now, or if you'd like, you can check out another video on Site 42's channel. Either way, thank you very much for watching.