 Welcome back to every way woman. So I want to continue the dialogue on the expectations of women, especially women who are middle-aged I know Amber you and I were talking about that. And And I told you I don't know How are we even you know classifying middle-aged now if you know 30 is the new 20 is middle-aged Well, I got the wisdom I'm not middle-aged No, but I did turn 34 so I don't know is that middle-aged you're on the brink of it. You're not But I am looking into the rim I will tell you it is 45. It is the forgotten stage of a woman's life What do you mean it's forgotten because our rules change so much. Yeah, our rules have changed our mothers used to be younger They used to how old are your moms? My mom is still in her 60s. Do you know how many moms? I know we're in their 60s that have teenage kids Changed well because we got three years before The family and then they had a family later in life and now middle-aged just happened and we're in a whole Another place of our lives What culture you grew up in yeah, and what what technology you live with but Cheryl I wonder do you Have any sense of the expectations that you're you know, they sing you just got a new house. Yes I'm not middle-aged, but I think that moment when your responsibilities increase exponentially Like for example, my mom is also in her 60s Fortunately the later half of the 60s I said fortunately because my dad passed away when he was 66 so to even just surpass that I think is a good thing But then I look at her and it's like She's independent now, but I can you know, I can see the you know the aging starting to set in and you know I know that like my sister and I live nearby and we're trying to get her to move closer to us So you can look in after so we can look in on I mean she's already been a cardiac patient So we've already had to look after her in that response Fortunately, you know, she's you know, she's healed from that, but we always worry You know what no because I'm I'm fortunate that we have enough family resources that we can get her the car She needs but Anna's been looking after our Family care of my mom. She's young and I feel I don't know if it's being the whole Latina Hispanic community I don't know, but I just feel like the necessity that no matter what even if I had my own family I still got to take care of her right night. I don't know What if he's dead would have buried him, you know, how can you handle all that? You know, he doesn't have any resources that I know of that will be able to take care of him So that was that fear of like What do I do when I have to go find him? I mean, what do you do what kind of expectations you have I really don't have any expectations of him So I just kind of feel like it's kind of like me going to search for someone who I don't But it's just feel you got So it's our obligation then as children to become parents to our parents at some point It's kind of built-in that usually it's the first the oldest child Unfortunately, I'm the oldest so right now And the oldest son What if it's almost like an indirect parenting relationship like for example, what if you had to take care of your husband's parents? How does that? The relationship I just got out of you know, my ex my ex-boyfriend He was the oldest son of eight But his parents and were largely dependent upon him and I just looked at my house. He's huge I was your You know, especially, you know taking care of his mom and she has daughters but quite frankly, I felt like the burden of her care was gonna fall to me and The other prospect of that was well, I think the whole prospect of those obligations expectations is terrifying I can hardly handle my life as it is in my 20s But to be expected to care for my own family my husband and my parents and I mean and they're my husband's parents My god, it sounds like hell. I don't know how any woman could balance those expectations. I'm really done You know, I think sometimes what people forget is men go through a big life crisis and we all acknowledge it We're not alone in this so women go through one two and we ignore it Okay, we suck it up ladies. I definitely want to continue this conversation when we get back from this break Are you and everyone?