 J.G.L.L. Home! The Jello Program brought to you by Jello and Jello Putties, starring Jack Benny with Mary Lyrice and Phil Harris, Dettastay and yours truly, Dodd Wilson. The orchestra opened the program with a gay ranchero. Ladies and gentlemen, is to get several packages at a time and use them as you want them. And with the new Jello, you can do this without any fear that your supply of Jello will lose flavor and freshness as it stands on the pantry shelf. You can now buy a dozen packages of Jello at one time and know that they will all stay at the peak of their goodness until you want them. Because today, Jello's flavor is locked in, locked into the Jello particles by an exclusive Jello process. The tiny Jello particles deliver their full strength flavor to you intact. Now prove it for yourself. Open a package of Jello. Notice that there's no telltale aroma, no sign of escaping fragrance and flavor. But the instant you dissolve the Jello, you unlock its captive flavor and out it pours in all its original richness. Tomorrow when you order Jello, order several packages. Get all of Jello's six delicious flavors and always have a full assortment on hand from which to choose. You can keep Jello as long as you please. If flavor doesn't go away, we put it in and it's there to stay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my very great honor to bring you a man who lost Sunday on this program, gave you what was undoubtedly the finest performance of his acting career. That's right, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. So without further ado, I give you the only actor in America who can make Jekyll and Hyde sound like Brenda and Cobbina, Jack Benny. Again, this is Jack Benny talking and Don, that may be your idea of a funny introduction. But to ridicule my performance of last Sunday, which everyone hails as a dramatic nugget, that really burns me up. Now take it easy, Jack. I thought you played the part well enough, but I happened to see the picture and I didn't think you were as good as Spencer Tracy. Oh, you didn't? No. Well, Don, let me ask you something. Who signs your check every week? Spencer Tracy or the Benny Goose that lays the golden egg on it? Take that as my thought for today. But Jack, you don't seem to understand. Oh, no. When Spencer Tracy played the part, there was a decided difference between both characters. But when you did it, I couldn't tell your Jekyll from your Hyde. Well, you can't tell your stomach from an igloo. So what do you know about it? A fine pal you turned out to be. Not Jack. And don't call me Jack. From now on, you will please address me as Mr. Benny and I'll call you Mr. Wilson. Is that clear? Oh, I think you're being very childish about the whole matter. Absolutely childish. Don't try to bring my age down. Flattery won't help. Remember that, Mr. Wilson. Mr. Wilson, who's Mr. Wilson? That hulk over yonder. Listen, Mary, you witnessed my performance last week. What did you think of it? Well, personally, I thought you were very good as Georgie Jekyll. I wasn't Jekyll. I was Jekyll. Dr. Jekyll. Well, in that case, Pooie. Pooie? What do you mean Pooie? I don't get it. All right. Take the word lovely and fool around with us. Let's see. Lovely, lively, low, low. Mr. Benny to you. And let me remind you and Mr. Wilson of something that you both may have forgotten. When I switched from Dr. Jekyll to that horrible Mr. Hyde and that gruesome look came over my face, women in the audience screamed. One of them even fainted. Well, it won't happen today, they coughed that mouth. Well, then I guess I can take these bicycle clips off my pants. my pants as long as you and Don are in such a critical mood I'd like to point out that Christmas is only 18 days away why else did you come in mad at everybody all right keep it up keep it up you know I already bought your Christmas present young lady but I may exchange it for something cheaper something cheaper yes they don't dig a bargain basement that deep well you worked in more than I did I can go along with a ouch you do that once more miss Livingston there'll be a oh hello Dennis oh mr. Benny jeez was that a performance you gave last week was that a performance well thanks Dennis I'm glad you liked it not only me my whole family thought you were wonderful that's nice I'm glad someone appreciated me listen Jack the trouble with you is the minute you do something halfway good it goes right to your hand mr. Benny was wonderful quiet why to hear you talk Jack anyone would think you were the biggest ham in Hollywood oh I'd like to see a bigger one by golly well thanks Dennis you tried anyway you thought I was good marvelous well look kid I'm making up my Christmas list today so before singing your song how about throwing out a few hints what would you like Uncle Jack to get you well I thought of a few things but they're pretty expensive just name them you're one person in this cast that deserves the best wait like if my pencil here now what do you want Dennis well I'd like to have a nice gray suit with a pinstripe okay one gray suit with pinstripe anything else well I'd love to have a grand piano to practice my songs on okay one grand piano are you sure you got lead in that pencil mr. Benny yes yes now what else do you want Dennis well I've always wanted one of those toy birds on a stick and when you swing it around your head the bird goes one bird on stick now what else do you want oh stop will you you're just trying to make Don and me jealous Dennis isn't going to get all that stuff well he's getting something he wants gee I wonder what it is I'll give you a hint kid surprise for heaven's sake now go ahead with your song Dennis okay hold on a minute come in mr. Benny yes I want to congratulate you on your performances mr. Hyde last week I was so frightened my hair stood on end a what hair right there stand up Herman well I suppose if you only got one hair you might as well have a name for it sing Dennis ladies and gentlemen a special announcement the entire regular personnel of the sheriff's and police office has been placed on a two-platoon basis with 12-hour shift all auxiliary personnel has been directed to stand by for emergency service instructions the regular county defense program is functioning in an orderly manner and citizens are urged to remain calm and avoid all unnecessary confusion because of hysteria citizen volunteers are asked to go quietly to their nearest police or fire stations and offer their services if they wish to help there is no immediate cause for alarm and coolness will accomplish more than anything else immediately of everything I love and all the things you are sung by Dennis Dave very good Dennis but what's the idea of singing two songs today well mr. Benny I've got two girls and I thought I'd dedicate a number to each of them two girls that's modern youth for you you know Dennis when I was your age I was satisfied with only one girl Gussie bagel quiz Gussie was a dream is that the girl you sued because she cut you with a buck teeth I never sued her I just told her to get a brace out anyway I was talking to Dennis whatever happened to your girl mr. Benny Gussie all I went into vaudeville and she went away to veterinary college we sort of drifted apart she's one of the biggest horse doctors in northern Illinois now they're doing very well too do you keep in touch with her mr. Benny do you ever write to her all once in a while when he has a cold or something yeah I had a touch of the flu a couple of weeks ago and she sent me some pills that were as big as baseball and some lineman to rub on my withers one thing about Gussie though I never get a bill from her that's well hmm look who's here hi it Jackson have a pal don't Jackson or pal me mr. Harris let me ask you something did you or did you not go into the brown derby after last Sunday show and tell people that my acting was putrid last Sunday maybe I did I say that lots of well you did you told everybody at your table that I was very bad as Jekyll and high how do you know because I've got a waiter there that spies for me naturally you couldn't tip a waiter just for waiting on you Mary that's a little arrangement between Andre and me yeah I should have known that waiter was a spy his mustache fell in my suit you're wearing a false mustache I told him not to overdo it anyway Phil you did run down my performance yeah but I changed my mind about that you know I met one of the greatest dramatic actors in this town last night and he said you were great Orson thought you were terrific who Orson well no Orson buggy if I don't get Glenn Miller in my stocking Christmas morning I'll never write another letter to Santa and isn't that me mr. Harris you better have a good excuse for coming in late today well I'm sorry Jackson but I was out shopping say Mary you know what I'm getting Alice for Christmas this year now what a roadster a roadster say you know for the oven that's a roadster buys his wife a roadster for Christmas and calls it a roadster all right I'll put wheels on it that's a sharpie a Jackson is it copy a jackson toppy toppy toppy don't call me Jackson I'm mr. Benny to you and everybody else on this program except Dennis you mean I can call you Jack yes until I make up with the others what burns me up I worked my head off on that play last week and did a swell job you sure did Jack and this little episode just shows me who my friends are that's telling them Jack after all I had to follow a pretty good actor in that part Spencer Tracy why I would never have even tried it if we both hadn't won the Academy Awards wait a minute when did you ever win the Academy Awards and another thing I said when did you ever win the Academy Awards and another question when did you win the Academy Awards I wish I had brother would I have you in a spot I guess that takes care of you you said it Jackie look Dennis just Jack not Jackie what a game I got a good mind to go home all for goodness sake Jack will you stop acting like a baby you ought to know the whole thing was a rib oh sure as a matter of fact I liked your performance in Jack a little hide so much that I wrote a sequel to it well ain't you the fat little Noel Coward who cares what you wrote and Jack Jack now get this as a favor to me I want you to play the leading part in this drama I'll tell him when he comes in you can keep your own sequel but you've got to help me out Jack there's no one else in the cast with sufficient dramatic ability to handle it look I'm not going to dramatic a well well all right Don I'll do it I thought you were mad at him never mind you'd go over now as it falls in a Dixie cup if someone told you was dramatic what's dramatic about a Dixie cup Don you say you've written a sequel to Jackal and hide yes Jack but my play is called Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jackal oh well that sounds interesting here's the script thanks just second on I'll give you a buildup cord please and now ladies and gentlemen Mr. Don Wilson that eminent American author has written another of his famous one-act plays take it Don the scene is the residents of mr. and mrs. Homer D hide in the thriving little town of upper plate in the ever it is 7 30 p.m. curtain music 7 30 and Homer isn't home yet I wonder if Orson buggy broke down I hope it's one of his mood oh here he comes now you're a little late aren't you all right I'm late and I'll be late anytime I feel like them aren't you going to kiss me darling kiss me kiss me every night a kiss I'll kiss you with this umbrella that's good night but home where you haven't even said hello to the twins Otto and Blotto hello to daddy children hello daddy hello dad also one more people are you kids not kick your teeth out as soon as they grow in yes dinner dinner every night dinner I want any dinner but Homer dear at least have some dessert what kind of dessert I won't tell you but I'm sure you like it here have a dish very well I'll cry it but if I eat it and decide I don't like it someone will be dead murdered murdered I do hope he likes it it's not what will happen to me and also and Blotto she oh boy oh my darling that tastes so good what is the name of that tempting an economical dessert with a new locked-in process and it comes in delicious flavors congratulations you wrote a wonderful play but Jack without you it would have been impossible you were even better than the last week oh I wouldn't say that well how about a band number Phil oh take down a D hold it come in well mr. Benny you did it again were you scared look at Herman he just won't go down head he's got that's the only persimmon I ever saw with brown eyes play Phil another war bulletin Shanghai the Japanese took over the American Shanghai power and light company this morning a bulletin from New York the Japanese news agency broadcast tonight the Japanese foreign minister Shinji Nori Togo some of us ambassador Joseph C grew and handed to him Japan's reply to Secretary of State Cordell Hull's terms for peace in the Pacific this news came hours after the bombing of Honolulu we return you now to Hollywood weekend in a banner played by Blotto Harris and that goes for the whole orchestra and now ladies and gentlemen I would like to announce that next week is a special attraction gee mr. Benny I can't get over the way you played mr. Hyde just now it's real Jay Dennis I'll say that crazy laugh just then shivers right through me well the kids right Jackson how'd you ever learn to do that well Phil you just have to get into the mood and feel it you have to imagine that you're a raving maniac when was the first time you ever did that crazy laugh Jack last year at San Anita lost three races in a row never mind when they caught him he was chewing down the grandstand like a beaver but you'd be mad too so let's forget it now as I started to announce ladies and gentlemen next week is a special attraction you know mr. Benny I'd like to learn how to do that laugh so I can scare my girlfriend oh it's easy Dennis yeah we should show me how to do it mr. Benny oh I don't come on Jackson do that laugh for us again well look Dennis here's the way you do it you've got a screw up your face and get it all distorted then you're ripped open your tie and shirt well don't you have to mess up your hair a little my hair you know those three Herman that's not important anyway Dennis once you're in this mood you read a menacing line and then laugh I'll get this I'm going out for a walk now a nice long walk and when I come back someone will be dead Oh, my jaw is out of place. Back and I'll snap your jaw back in place. All right, hurry up, Don. Now brace yourself. Okay. Thanks, Don. Dennis, the next time you want me to show you something, wait until the program's over. Well, it's your own fault for showing off. I wasn't showing off. Phil, well, I got a few left over from last week. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I started to announce before the show, I've got a few left over from last week. I've got a few left over from last week. Now, ladies and gentlemen, as I started to announce before I dislocated my jaw, next week, as a special attraction, the Benny Stop Company is going to present... Oh, now what? Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. What do you want? Well, there's no use. I tried and tried, and I can't get Carmichael to go to sleep. Rochester, that polar bear has got to go to sleep. He's supposed to have been in hibernation over 10 days ago. Uh-huh. If Carmichael doesn't get to sleep by the middle of this month, he'll be a wreck in the spring. Where is he now? Sitting up in bed reading Esquire. We'll take it away from him. Oh, come now, boss. He's been up to sleep. Now, Rochester, use a little psychology on him. Give him some warm milk. Give him some warm milk, put on his pajamas, and brush his teeth. Would you mind repeating that slowly, please? I said give him some warm milk. Uh-huh. Put on his pajamas. Uh-huh. And brush his teeth. Uh-huh. What are you afraid of? That bear is as gentle as a lamb. He wouldn't bite you. He wouldn't, eh? No. Then why am I the largest single user of band aids in the U.S.S., sir? Listen, Carmichael doesn't hate you. He likes you. He likes everybody. Then what happened to the gas man? Nothing happened to the gas man. Carmichael doesn't eat people. You ought to see that letter. He wrote Santa Claus. What letter? Dear Santa, please send a fat boy to read the meter. Now, you keep Carmichael in bed, and when I come home, I'll sing rock or buy baby to him. That'll put him to sleep. Okay, so long. So long. Oh, say, boss. Now what? Are you coming home for dinner tonight? Yes. Well, now finish up the wild up. Good, good. So long. I got to get that bear to sleep before Christmas, or he'll want a present. Play, Phil. Oh, my joy. Friends, while you're looking through the December magazines in search of an idea for Aunt Martha's Christmas present, keep an eye open for this month's Jell-O page. A full page of Jell-O treats illustrated in such rich glowing colors that it makes your mouth water just to look at it. One of the desserts is called Jack Benny Special Apricot Ring, and honestly, friends, I think it's just about the grandest-looking dessert Jell-O ever made. It's an easy recipe, too. Just dissolve one package of lemon Jell-O in one and one-fourth cups of hot water. Next, add a dash of salt and three-fourths of a cup of syrup from the canned sliced apricots. Then chill until thickened and fold in two and a half cups of the sliced apricots themselves. When molded, serve with a garnishing of whipped cream apricot quarters and green maraschino cherries. And there it is. A golden, glistening mold of juicy sliced apricots and sunny lemon Jell-O. Canned apricots and lemon Jell-O are being featured by many grocers all next week. So get them both and make up this delicious treat. Jell-O makes any gelatin recipe taste extra good because its locked-in flavor gives you all the flavor always. This is the last number of the tenth program in the current Jell-O series and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Oh, Mary, you want to have dinner at my house tonight? No, thanks. I've had so much of that duck I'm a bigger crack than Gussie. Don't pay any attention to her, Gussie. Good night, folks. Hail! This is your grocers. Look at the shelf where you always see those familiar packages of Jell-O. Right beside them, or very near them, you'll spy another Jell-O product. Jell-O puddings in three grand flavors. Chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. You might try Jell-O butterscotch pudding. It's as smooth as cream and simply full of rich golden butterscotch flavor. A pudding that your whole family will want to enjoy again and again. So when you order Jell-O, order Jell-O puddings, too. They're just like grandmas, only more so. This is the National Broadcasting Company.