 Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast I'm your host Rob dial if you have not yet done So hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another podcast episode And if you're out there and you love this podcast And you want some more extra tips and tricks to improve your mindset go ahead and go to Monday email calm Once again Monday email calm That's where I send tips and tricks on how to improve your mindset even more than we teach just in this podcast So if you want some extra help go to Monday email calm That's absolutely free and sign up there today. We're gonna be talking about well We're gonna be going really deep today today's episode is actually gonna be titled Why the hell will we never taught this and this is something that I think is gonna be very eye-opening for most people out There we're gonna be talking about how to become a better calmer more centered less triggered less anxious Better version of yourself more than anything else I don't want to say that I don't like using the phrase better because better means Inherently that you're worse at this point, but you know what I mean by better a more improved a more enlightened a more calm and centered version of yourself and I'm gonna give you five different tips that are really gonna help with this and The way I actually decided to make this podcast episode was I talked about a little while ago in an episode Just really quickly about self soothing and how I think that most people as adults actually have problems with self soothing we're never really taught how to self soothe and an example of what I mean by self soothing or Soothing in general is when you are a baby and you're crying and you are going through emotions Your mother will pick you up and soothe you and also give you a pacifier and those things will soothe you but as we become adults as we become actually children and You know, we start to have anger issues or we yell We're then told that we're not supposed to be that way and you get to a certain point where they're crying or the Having emotion wherever it is can go from let me soothe you to shut up for some people And what happens is we don't actually learn how to self-soothe as adults as children and then as adults now We're 30 40 50 years old and we have no idea how to self-soothe ourselves and what exactly I mean by self soothing is The act of being able to get yourself back to homeostasis to bring yourself back to a calm and Centered state no matter what is happening around you, but also no matter what is happening inside of you You know after being triggered in some sort of way It is a reset of going back to homeostasis and the nervous system Because when I say triggered triggered can mean many things to many people depending on who you are for some people listening It might be anger somebody says something to you or does something to you Or you see something a certain way and you become angry and it could be rage For some people that triggering can be somebody says the exact same thing to you as the other person But instead of being angry or getting rage it might be sadness it might be Something happens to you or you have a whole lot of things that you have to do over the next week or today And you get very anxious and stressed it could be depressed And so really what those are those are heightened emotions They're considered quote-unquote lower emotions or like wrong emotions, and I want to say first off When I'm talking about triggered. I'm talking about emotions There is nothing wrong with any emotion emotions or emotions and should be felt and should be expressed but We're not talking about bad emotions or this emotions better than this one all emotions just are happy joy peace calm centered rage Anxiousness all of those things just are they're not bad. They're just part of the human experience that you are Existing in and that's it but Really what I mean by that is we don't want to live in any emotion We don't want to live in rage and anger and stress and depressed and anxious You don't want to live there you can feel them you can express them you can do and needs to be done But you've got to have some form of a strategy to be able to self soothe to be able to get yourself back to That feeling that feeling where it's just calm peaceful Joy nothing has to happen nothing has to Nothing could make you feel out of Homiostasis just calm centered back to normal as I said, it's a reset back to the nervous system So, you know in the example that I gave not long ago We were talking about how I was talking about how a lot of people have a stressful day at work And after that stressful day at work the way that they self-soothe is coming back You know that the boss said something their co-workers didn't show up for a presentation And they had to do everything whatever was somehow they were triggered in some way and then they come home And they think man today was a hard day. I need a glass of wine now no judgment. I don't think that that's necessarily bad But that's a form of using External substances in order to change an internal state But you wake up tomorrow and you are the exact same person there was no improvement and the glass of wine actually becomes more of a numbing of Your emotions so instead of expressing them working through them and then self soothing It is a numbing of those emotions which eventually builds up and builds up and builds up and Usually for a lot of people it comes to an explosion or a breakdown or rage or something like that because it's just like I Get triggered and then I know and I get triggered and I know I'm and I get triggered I get numb that means those emotions are never actually flowing through my body and out of my body and Then never getting back to actual place of homeostasis. I'm using The cigarette or the glass of wine or the drugs or whatever it is externally to numb the feeling that I have of triggered whatever that triggered might be and so You know although glass of wine is amazing. It's the easy way and there's no growth from it You're not going to wake up and be better. So what would be better than that is being able to actually Understand what self soothing is and being able to come home after a long day That might have been stressful to work instead of reach for a glass of wine to not feel it anymore To actually be able to self-soothe and bring yourself back through your own practices To calm and centered that is a way of self-improvement in a way to become better in the process and It's not sexy It's definitely not the easy way to be able to have wine or alcohol or any of those things drugs All of those are the easiest way So what I'm going to talk about these self soothing and the five tips I'm going to give you are not the easier way They take a little bit longer. They're not as sexy as drinking a glass of wine and watching Netflix But it will come to be you will come to be a person that is more developed and better through the process Because then something can happen and instead of having to come home and self-soothe You can self-soothe them in the moment and while shit can be hitting the fan outside of you You can be calm centered peaceful everything being okay And so that's what we're gonna go through is how you can get there And I'm gonna give you a few tips that that I like that work for me and that I've used with many of my clients in the past I'm also gonna be a few that are just outside of that as well But there's many ways to self-soothe what I really want to do is actually open up the conversation in your own mind When you need self-soothing so you can become aware of it and then also what might work for you so that you can grow as well and Really it's kind of like an adult pacifier Babies crying you give them a pacifier it suits them. What is your adult pacifier is what we're trying to figure out through this process Cool, so let's go ahead and go through a few self-soothing techniques that I think will help you out The first one is probably obvious to a lot of people and you probably thought I might be talking about this is meditation But I'm gonna take it one step further Then just meditation because I don't know about you but when shit's hitting the fan and I try to meditate Sometimes it works a lot of times though My brain is just processing and thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and so I'll sit down for a 20-minute meditation And my brain's thinking the entire time a lot of what I'm going to teach you today is To go from the head to the body Like we're trying to get back into your physical body because when you're thinking thinking thinking Usually thinking to the future usually making fake futures that don't exist You're usually worrying yourself and stressing yourself out more. I want to bring you back into your body Into the present moment so meditation can help but if I'm being honest with you It's a little bit hard when shit's in the fan. What I prefer is breathing exercises with the meditation I prefer conscious breathing with that meditation that I'm doing Because Therefore we're trying to bring ourselves out of the mind which meditation usually brings us into the mind and Bring us into the body So there's a couple different techniques that I'll teach you and you can try all of these if you want The first one which we've tried on the podcast before if you've been listening for a while is just six deep conscious breaths That's into the nose and then out through the mouth when you breathe out It's like breathing out through a straw. So it's a long exhale The long exhale is actually the most important part because a long exhale actually slows your heart rate down So what would it sound like? I'll just do one of them, but you would do six you go into the nose Breathe out through the mouth You do six of those and six of those if you close your eyes and just really concentrate on the breathing Actually, you'll feel a massive shift in six breaths. So that's an option if you don't have a whole lot of time That's usually one if I'm don't have a whole lot of time and I want to bring myself back to calm and centered That's usually what I'll go for One that I think can be even better sometimes is Wim Hof Wim Hof breathing is just a You know, it's coined by Wim Hof a man now, but it's really an ancient form of breathing Which is a deep breath in and let it fall out both of them through your mouth and you do 30 breaths So if you were to do I'll do five of them. It would be You do 30 of those and then you hold your breath at the end as long as you possibly can and then you breathe all the Way out and then you do another round. So that's one round You would want to do three of them and what these are doing is it's Bringing you back into your body more than anything else if you want to go even further and just another thing to try out This is what I like to do if there's Really stuff going crazy and I feel like you need a full reset on the nervous system is I'll do three rounds of Wim Hof So 30 breaths in and out breathe all the way in hold as long as you possibly can Breathe all the way out and then you go do another round to do three rounds of that and then the last round I breathe all the way in this is something that that Wim Hof talks about as a Massive reset to your nervous system on the very last round breathe I'll breathe all the way in and then hold as long as I possibly can and do as many push-ups as I possibly Can without breathing again, and then once I get to a point Obviously don't knock yourself out and don't go to extremes go to a point where you're like, okay Now I need to breathe again. What's interesting is that you're over for me personally when I do this Over oxygenated which means I have a lot of oxygen inside of my body And I'll be able to do more push-ups without breathing than I can if I breathe normally and so what this does is when you're in this state for me personally when I'm in this state of Stress stress stress things going on and then I do this reset When I'm not breathing and I'm doing as many push-ups as possible My brain is in body are so on point with each other and so I'm not thinking about the future I'm not thinking about the thing is trust me out. I'm literally thinking about this present second Now I get done with that exercise and I'm like man That feels like a full nervous system system reset So that's the first thing that I really like is breathing exercises My second one, which is another one of my favorites is music So what I like to do is put on my headphones and listen to certain songs There's two songs that I listen to the most one of them is a song that I found years ago that was considered I don't know how scientists figure that out the most calming song ever created It's a song called weightless by a band or a person I don't know what it is called Marconi Union and there's actually a 10-hour version of it available on YouTube So that the song itself is like three minutes long But someone made a 10-hour version of it on YouTube if you really want to calm down So I'll put that song on you know usually that's what I put on if I'm in the car or there's another song that for me Personally, I don't know why just calms me down like crazy and it's the out of Africa theme song and it's from the the movie out of Africa and I remember when I was running my very first business and it got really stressful There were times when I needed to go into my office shut the door and I would tell everyone who you know my system managers and My receptionist everything like hey give me 10 minutes And I would close my eyes and I would put that on and I would just do deep breathing and that song just kind of fully Chilled me out. So for me, I know those are my two songs Those are like in my back pocket if I really need them for you I would say figure out what music works for you what music calms you down so that you could try to bring yourself out of that Rage anger sadness anxious and state bring yourself back into the present moment into your body So that's number two number three is movement Usually once again, if you're in your head, you want to get back into your body. So you can do your pick of movement I'm gonna give you a feeder for an options It could be upbeat it could be slow depending what you need depending on who you are depending on your personality It could be jumping jacks to be pushed up to be a whole workout or it could be yoga And it could be stretching or it could be just standing up and just shaking everything out like there's a thing that I'll do sometimes and I'll just shake everything out as much as I can and I'm trying to get back into the body trying to bring myself back to us so sometimes just jumping and then trying to shake all my arms my limbs my shoulders everything and I reference this in the other episode when I was talking about self-soothing really quickly is that every animal has some form of a way to get adrenaline out of their body and For some animals, it's a form of shaking after they get chased by an animal for my dog One of the things that he does all the time is he yawns He has we call him stress yawns where he has his yawns and they're like these really little labor yawns that he does Then we could tell that he's stressed out and he's trying to move that that adrenaline through his body is what he's doing and Sometimes when he's nervous, so I'll so shake You know like we took him on a plane not too long ago and normally he's fine on a plane But for some reason this plane was really loud and he was just shaking the entire time So the poor guy was shaking and I was just way of moving the adrenaline moving the emotion through his body and so for you Movement could be able to be something that could help you as well get back into your body get out of your head That's making all the stress and because it's never actually the circumstances stressing you out or making you sad or making you anxious It's what you're thinking about that thing. So it's all in the head. You want to bring it back into the body Another one which is number four which really helps with getting back into the body is something called tapping So there's this thing called tapping where you can tap certain parts of your body And I don't want to talk about it because I'm not an expert on it There's certain parts of your body that you can tap that are supposed to calm your nervous system down If you look up tapping and how to do it you can definitely do I know one of them is on the crown of your head Another one's like middle forehead another one happens to be right next to your nose Another one's in the bottom of your chin another one is in the center of your chest for those you guys that aren't watching the video on YouTube you can't really see me, but this is I'm actually tapping those and I prefer Over that tapping I actually prefer another version of tapping that I do Which is actually standing up moving my body around doing the shaking just a little bit kind of getting the energy moving and then actually Physically up is isn't too loud on the microphone actually physically tapping with an open hand Different parts of my muscles in my entire body. So literally like I'll go all the way down my arm I'll go to my chest. I'll go down my other arm And I'll actually physically tap with a little bit of pressure like doesn't hurt But it's it's definitely hard then I'll do all my legs. I'll do my back I'll do my butt all of that and I'm actually physically moving and waking up my body And I don't know what it is not an expert on this But I'm telling you it really freaking works when you tap and just do some hard taps You know in the chest and everything you get under your stomach it tends to just get you out of your head get you back into your body and That version of just a little bit more calm so that's number five or number four number five is The thing called a physiological sigh a physiological sigh is something that we do all of the time like we I think on average We do it about every 10 to 15 minutes unconsciously But a physiological sigh is to do two quick breaths in and then one quick like not very long but long a breath out So I became very aware of this with with Lauren my fiance and years ago She used to just do this and I was like man She does this a lot and it's just it sounds like this It's called a physiological sigh if you do one two three of those Two quick ones in and through the nose and now through the mouth What it does is it's actually a form your body will do this naturally of a way for your body to release co2 From your body if there happens to be any extra or unneeded co2 inside of your body and so now that you know this you can consciously use the And what it's doing is it's fully expanding your lungs and then there's these little packets Inside of your lungs that until you're like fully full and you get another one they didn't really open and It actually is allowing your lungs to fully open in those packets to open which will allow in more oxygen less co2 and your body can Kind of calm down as well really what it comes down to and this is my point of what I want to bring awareness to for everyone Listening to this is that there is options to be able to start to learn to become better at self soothing Your reaction to something is your choice. It's not something that just randomly happens. These are a few different things You could also use smells. I know a lot of smells calm people down. I know baths calm people down I know journaling calm people down what I really want to do with you is I want to be able to help you Understand what you're feeling why you're feeling it and how to be able to move with it move past it These are all emotions and it's emotion is just something that needs to be expressed. So I'm not talking about I'm feeling something and I'm trying to repress it. I'm talking about a feeling something I need to release it as quickly as possible and get myself back to a state of calm peace equanimity equanimity and be able to We need to release it and there's all these different ways to release it What I really want you to start to think about is times when you need to release this energy and then give you a couple Strategies do it as well because that is going to help you become a better human So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love this episode, please share it on your Instagram stories and tag me at Rob dial jr Or it'll be DI a lj are also if you love this podcast our podcast Instagram is blowing up We've had some Instagram videos. We put up some reels just completely go viral and explode We grew 40,000 people in the past couple weeks And so if you want to follow us on that the podcast Instagram is the mindset mentor podcast once again the mindset mentor podcast And with that I'm gonna leave it the same way leave you every single episode make it your mission make someone else's day better I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day