 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a cold and now Claudia Is David dressed already? I better start something. No hurry mom. He's still in the shower. How come you two aren't gabbling together? Oh, he locked me out. Mm-hmm coming to his senses. I tickled him mama. He's got the patient of Joe be your husband Oh, I don't see what's so wonderful having patience sometime try marrying a man without it. I'm married now. Thank you Stop walking around like a lost puppy. Claudia. You're making me dizzy. I'm waiting for David Have you seen my glasses? Where'd you put them? If I knew what I'd be asking you You might don't get up. Mama. I'll look for them. Are they in the kitchen? I'll look for them myself It'll be less trouble really you can't ever let anybody do anything for you. Can you anybody? Yes, you know I don't trust you wait till David hears David will understand Hey, where are you going into the kitchen to look for my glasses? Do you mind? Yes? I do here they are Where were they right there under David's shirt? How did they get there? I wonder oh, I can't imagine mama Got that cuff fixed yet. Well, I thought I had but doesn't look right somehow give it here I'll fix it. Claudia. I'd rather do it myself and have David walking around with one cuff two inches shorter than the other But he's my husband still better reason. Look, you just show me how I've got to learn sometime mama besides It's all your fault my fault. Well a mother is supposed to prepare a daughter for marriage Cooking sewing you know all the femininely things nobody can tell you anything not even that femininely is not a word You understood what I said didn't you have it now watch carefully. I'm watching first Claudia you're breathing down my neck. How can I watch otherwise come over here? We'll sit on the sofa now First you edge the sleeve part then you sew it on to cut your heads together over your sleeve mama showing me how how what? Put something up and put it together silly. Yeah, what you doing that shirt anyway, I stretch if you don't mind I do mind in the future David see stretch before and after your shirt It's terrible to sew another one of the sacrifices of marriage Stretching only before and after Claudia. I can't see with you leading over me like that Well, I can't see if I don't mama David do me a favor locker in would you come over here darling? Your mother doesn't appreciate you only child. She has to My you feel nice and cool and smooth now what to put on what do you mean? What did I put on your hair same stuff water? Nice, I wouldn't buy anything else cheap to here David. No all done. Oh, thank you mother What do I owe you couldn't afford it now? Where are you going to get dinner ready? Can't you sit still just a minute sewing cooking come on mother? Take it easy a while. Don't take me any time at all. Say I'll get dinner tonight Oh, no, you won't then since you're so stubborn. I'll tell you what what I have an idea What we'll go out. We'll do nothing of a kind. I've got a perfectly good steak in the ice. Oh, we'll keep why should it? Because I like to eat out. I like to eat out too. The waste of money. I shot mama. Do you David? Where do you like to eat? You know, I like I like funny little restaurants where nobody else goes not me. Oh I suppose you like those places where the the main using handwriting in purple ink Mm-hmm and where the chairs are all on chairs carpets, too Oh, I was afraid of that. It was too good to be true. What do we both like to eat out now? We'll never be able to decide where to go. You just rest your mind at ease dotting We'll decide mama. Which kind you Really that woman she went into the kitchen again. Do we have to watch you every minute? Claudia Let's really go out tonight. What do you say? I'd love to David. She's been working awfully hard. Come on. We'll go tell her Mama Mama put down that 10 stop ordering me around like a chef party. You heard her mother put it down We are stepping out tonight. What is all this nonsense? No nonsense at all. We're celebrating What are we celebrating? Listen to her, David. She pretends she doesn't know what I repeat Your birthday, of course, of course your birthday, you know perfectly well my birthday's in january Oh nonsense, you know as well as we do it tonight. Claudia Do you think we ought to break the news to mama that she's a year older three months too soon? See that's right. I didn't think of that Mama, do you mind being older sooner? I'd rather be younger later Say I know what we'll do we'll celebrate your last birthday tonight, right? That makes you Let's see nine months younger tonight than you will be in three months. That's settled So put on your best bib and Tucker and we're off to celebrate come on. I've had enough of this birthday already Where we go? You leave that to me the best restaurant in town You too serious? Of course we are. It's your birthday, isn't it? We've got to eat out Normal person hasn't a chance around here normal. What fun is normal? Hey, come on, David You have to button me up the back What did you do before we were married? I struggled And hurry up mama. We're going to give you a wonderful birthday party David how much longer do you think we'll have to stand in line? I'll give them uh two more minutes at my house No standing in line personally. I find the backs of people's heads fascinating. Don't you David? Don't I what find the backs of heads fascinating? Say look, there are only seven people ahead of us now at my house We're first well if you'd wear tails and stiff front front shirts when you serve mrs. Brown I wouldn't mind eating at your house. You two be lucky if I ever let you have another glass of water at my house Oh your house your house? I see it sounds if you're the only person who'd ever had a house. Have you? No, but we will on Friday won't we David? We will what? How much my shoe hurts stand on the other foot your name, please Uh not and how many in the party mrs. Milton? Three? We'll take care of you in a few moments mrs. Milton right after this party No, thank you. Say look three people are leaving. No point. It's rude. David tell him we're next I will not mama. I had to marry a man with principles and no regard for his mother-in-law's health Here he comes david tell him go on. It wouldn't do us any good. These things are organized Uh, right this way mrs. Milton. We have a table for you right over there Ah, you see virtue is its own reward mrs. Brown I'm sorry. We kept you waiting so long mrs. Milton. I wish I had known it was you No, quite all right quite all right. Here we are. Thank you very much. I'll send the waiter over for many of us Thank you David who is you? I don't know It's funny mama all david said was who he was and and look at us sitting down If I wish you told me what your name was so effective I'd have married you myself. He wouldn't have had your mama. Would you david? Well, she might be helpful around the house David how do you suppose we got this table? How long those other people? Oh, I'm a very Distinguished-looking husband mrs. Norton. I think that claudia thinks that david I had no idea they had waited for that. I'll tell you a secret. What? I think he thinks I'm heartily heartily Yeah, when I gave him my name norton it probably struck a bell Heartily norton, you know that rings a bell in the best restaurants in new york. Well, I no longer impressed. I'm embarrassed So am I a little Actually though, I think it's very funny funny at my house you can eat even if you aren't anybody's brother Hush out mama. Yeah, no odious comparisons allowed on your birthday. You know that what's the good of a birthday Here are the menus mr. Norton. We'll call when we're ready to order that will be fine, sir Rippling handwriting just as I thought Here mommy your glasses. I remember to eat now ladies Now try to make up your minds. What'll it be? That's a fast David. There's so much to read here I don't know why it's so much fancier to write than to type mama. Look what's the matter claudia look at the prices I've been looking at them I decided David is absolutely crazy state 450 a piece Mama, how much is that steak at home to 37 for the three of us day. Did you hear that? No, I'm not interested 459 12 1250 just for steak for us 1350 steak all right with you mother I should say enough it's sticking my throat. I'm having the salad you are not Steak it's subtle steak is a birthday dish 1350 Mama how long does 1350 feed us a few days and very well too. We're paying for the carpets and the music You know that don't you David? Well, let's see steak and what else nothing else Steak and baked potatoes Asparagus and salad all right David you don't have to show off from me of claudia, you know We're married to you already Is this or is this not your birthday mother it is not and that settles it no more discussion What are you gonna do you'll see waiter Oh waiter you wish to order yes Three turtle soups three medium rare steaks with baked potato Asparagus and mixed green salad David. I won't hear another word on the subject. It's not about that. Then what is it? Onions don't forget the onions. Oh, yeah. Oh waiter french fried onions with each please onions But of course I'll bring the soups. Thank you Well mama, what do you think of your birthday party? You really want to know what I think? Of course I do. Don't you David? Well, I think claudia, but you're married a very superior man Who's sleeping David? Good night Good night David Do you think mama was pleased What do you think? I think she was very That's what I think You know, she never says things not for me anyway, but that's how I can tell sure Good night, darling David what now claudia just one more thing. All right. All right go on You know, I agree with mama. What about I think you're a very superior man, too So do I you do why you can see that person but of course I do I've thought so ever since the day you asked me to marry you You mean you think you're a Of course of course who cares we're married now. That's all it matters And all that ever will matter David now. This is for good darling Good night David Oh and go to sleep claudia Someday when we're very rich darling You think mom and mind having two birthdays every year All story material used in this broadcast of claudia was under the supervision of rose franken and william brown meloni That there's more coca-cola available Once more when you step up to the familiar red cooler and ask for a cold bottle of coke. You're pretty sure to get it Now you can enjoy the pause that refreshes by yourself or with a friend Yes, there is more coke now It's the same coke as always And the price is still five cents Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed With the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joe king saying au revoir and remember Whoever you are Whatever you do Wherever you may be When you think of refreshment Think of coca-cola For ice cold coca-cola makes any pause The pause that refreshes