 None of that we're hosts a normal filet, and you are watching scrambled today. We have a very important episode Chris garrison is joining us now Many of you may have seen Chris in the past, but there's something you did not know about him Chris It's not an ordinary man Chris is a Boy Scout So good your life Boy scouts Are you a real Boy Scout? Yeah, I think I think I am you know, I try every day To embody what a Boy Scout is You know, I try to make my body the body of a Boy Scout How come? Because I feel like I have an obligation to make my body the body that my body can be so I hear you saying that you're a Boy Scout because of Maybe insecurities with your body Is that why you're wearing those pants? Okay So you're not affiliated with Girl Scouts. No, I believe that women are the lesser sex, you know Like they're they're not people Coming coming from a Boy Scout Coming from Well, no, there are some people who disagree with me within the Boy Scouts But I believe that I am the right one and they are wrong That's to be expected Do you experience a lot of Gay men in your troop heaps of them literal heaps you walk in a candor should a pile of them Do you agree with the way? Boy Scouts fought to keep gay men from your troop Absolutely, I believe that it's a sin Tantamount to murder and it's just as evil as mixing fibers in your outfits Leviticus This belief has always been a part of your life. Oh, I've rigidly held up to it Do you think when you walk down the streets of Davis do you think people judge you differently for your affiliation do they think wow That man is a Boy Scout. I think it's more that I judge them For not being affiliated Like I'm judging you right now for not being affiliated you city slicker So you think because I am a city person that I shouldn't join Boy Scouts. I Think that if you want to change and become something that's better than subhuman then you should join Yeah, you know Chris. I just that's not I don't think that's gonna work So You say you're a Boy Scout But you're not just a Boy Scout. You're also an Eagle Scout How do you become a Eagle you have to kill a bald eagle and eat it you have to it's what the Native Americans believe that by killing and eating your Opponent your adversary you take in some of their life force. So It's a very ancient belief. So the badges have nothing to do with No, we're not been rank. No absolutely nothing Do you think you're being groomed to join the military? I? Think I'm being groomed to be my Scoutmasters Cabin boy if you will you know Do people ever mistake you for an eagle What kind of question is that? It's a question answer the question Chris. No, I'm a human What sort of privileges have you gained with? life as a Boy Scout I've gained the privilege of um being able to wear lots of khaki mm-hmm Sashes neckerchiefs just a whole whole range of Options in style and fashion that are not available to the larger population Do you wear these styles at school church? Temple in the shower Just the shower just sure that's understandable Yeah, so what's next for you as a Boy Scout? Well, my ultimate goal is to succeed from society and live in the woods on a diet of mushrooms and laxative berries But that's gonna take some work as I have to build my gastrointestinal system at the point where the laxative berries will not only They won't be as effective, you know, can we expect to see you in the forest with your sash on? Only my sash. I'm gonna have it lengthened so it functions as sort of loincloth to cover my uh you know The things that Boy Scouts and Boy Scouts alone have Do you think that you will ever be removed from Boy Scouts for maybe that kind of behavior? Because that does not seem a part of the Boy Scout lifestyle. You're gonna see one of the boys with a lot of sale You know what Chris? Maybe I am Think about that. Maybe you aren't So you're gonna live in the forest Yeah, or the desert or the mountains or the bottom of a lake of technology reached that point Is that what Boy Scouts are expected to do? You're being trained to live at the bottom of the lake. Yeah, it's uh See what most people don't know about the Boy Scouts is that it's not really it's said to be for grooming character and men But really they're trying to turn us into an advanced race of frog men Who can live underwater reproduce asexually? That's the end game of the Boy Scouts America our children our sons that we're sending into Boy Scouts The fear of them turning into gay men. That's not what we totally unfounded frog men Are you comfortable with this? You don't feel like this is being forced onto you I did at one point, but then they remove the cortex in my brain that allows free thought so Do people treat you as an elite member of society when you wear your sash They often mistake me for a mis-universe contestant but I'm quick to dissuade them Do you think that you are living kind of a Peter Pan fantasy lifestyle? You know you say that you're going to continue wearing your sash for life But I hear that you are sent on I Don't think I'm living a Peter Pan lifestyle. I said our final lamp with the genie in it Okay, that has nothing to do with Peter Pan Peter Pan is so much more was he the guy with the glass slipper? Yeah, that that's not real. There are no fairy goblers going and turning people into pumpkins in The Boy Scouts. This is real life Did you submit your tax forms? This year I didn't pay my taxes Didn't sign them for the draft. I believe in an America That is not as a spouse by Ron Paul, you know that the idea that the individual Should fight and destroy the state, you know For capitalism why is a fair for capitalism for capitalism the state inhibits capitalism, you know In what ways have you contributed to global warming? well after a long night Cooking beans by the fire I can safely say that I've Personally raised to the methane content or atmosphere by two to three percent Are you selling Girl Scout cookies this year? So popcorn dude. Okay, Chris. Um, I Don't think you're gonna make it in the forest. So is that a challenge? I don't think you're gonna make out of this room alive. You keep talking like that. You know what Chris? I have so many badges and Honors that go beyond your sash. Do you have actually have three Boy Scout sashes? Do you have carbon-tree marabajas only issue in the year of 2012? With gold foil lightning. I have eight of you have personal fitness. You have Indian lore You tell me That's a bear arm All right, Chris Thank you for joining us and scrambled. Thanks for having me. It was a pleasure. This might not continue in the future I think your time here with us is short Your time on earth is short. So thanks for watching scrambled. We hope you enjoyed that episode and Tune in next time for a great show