 I know what it was. I started thinking about my dad and my brother. And they're black men. They're amazing. Like, I'm so proud of my brother. He's a whole father now and a husband. And I just see how he is. I just see the way that he is with my niece. Oh my God. Listen, it's the message right here. Like, boy, tell me how you really feel. Cause I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Let me get your opinion on this. There is a movement right now called, and it kind of, it goes back to my last question. It's called the divest movement. It's a group of, or movement of black women who have given up on the prospect of finding or keeping a good black man. Part of the reason that they've given up is because on one hand, they feel like the majority of black men are destitute, uneducated, dusty, ain't shit. On the other hand, they feel like the ones who are maybe worth a damn prioritize either white women or prioritize light-skinned women or quote-unquote exotic-looking women. With that being said, most of the divesters tend to be darker-skinned black women. I don't think that's a coincidence. I think colorism plays a part in their experiences that have led to their newfound perspective on this thing. So hearing that, when you hear black women, I don't know if you've heard it in your personal life who said they're done with black men. What are your thoughts on that? What is your experience with that, if you have any? I unfortunately do not have people that I know that have said that. But I guess, since I have an experience that it'd be me on the outside looking in, so I can't really speak to it, but to be honest, it's just really, really sad. It's really making me sad right now, thinking about it. Because I, oh my God, I'm getting emotional. I don't know why. It's okay. Take your time. Is the camera still going? It is, but it's not live. Nobody can see this. Oh my God. And talk about what do you think made you emotional just now? Why? Yeah, that's why I'm like, why am I getting emotional right now? It's the same place. It's just me. Ain't nobody special, I promise. You want a tissue? I got you. I got you. Thank you. Um, jeez. I got you crying, I'm so ready. How did you do that? Well, you know, I'm pretty good. What the hell, you know, and I'm a black man. Am I the, I'm not the only person that's cried, right? No. Okay. You're not the only person that's cried. That makes you feel better. It does. That's just so weird and random that I just started crying. I got emotional about it, that question. So that is something to look into. Why did that make me, okay. So you, I forgot what you, what triggered that? I forgot what triggered it. I asked about the divestment movement and black women feeling scorn or hurt by black men. Yeah. Oh, and then have I interacted with somebody that has said, you know, I'm done with black men? Sure, yeah. So no, I have not had that experience. And then I was just, I know what it was. I started thinking about my dad and my brother and their black men, they're amazing. Like, I'm so proud of my brother. He's a whole father now and a husband. And I just see, see how he is. I just see the way that he is with my niece. Oh my God. Take your time. It's like. I wasn't expecting to cry. It's like. In my freaking makeup. It's okay, I promise. Geez. It is okay. It is okay. I'm so proud of him. So I think the reason why I'm crying is because seeing them and then hearing that women have said, like black women has said, like I'm done with black men. It's kind of, it's obviously it saddens me because I look at my father and my brother and I'm like, there's not all black men are trash. And so it's like you've given up when you can very well meet that one black man cause they're still out there. Not all black men, no. So it's like, I think it's the hopelessness in that statement when you said, I'm just, I'm done with black men. It's like, you just, you've given up hopeless when I know for a fact, just looking at the two examples that I have in my life. There are still good black men out there. Why that made me so emotional, like I said. It just caught me off guard, I guess. Yeah. But so yeah, that makes me sad to hear those. I haven't heard personally and women that I've interacted with in my life that have said, you know, I'm done with black men. No, I have not heard that personally, but knowing that that's a conversation. It's a pretty big one too, that's what's crazy. Like I had a, we did a live stream and I had a four hour conversation with the divester. And we kind of covered all of her, not her personal experience, but all of their, I guess, political talking points, right? And the thing that stood out to me wasn't necessarily my conversation with her. It was the, one of the guys who came up afterwards, you know, because I have people come up on the stream and ask questions or make comments. And he grew up with her, not grew up with her, I'm sorry, he grew up in the same neighborhood that she came from. And he was like, I understand why she thinks that because everything that she thinks of black men is informed by that neighborhood. Is like the criminal, it's all there. So she was probably traumatized early on in her life and is set a precedent for her expectations of black men. And it's almost like, it's sad because it's, her son will be a black man, whether she gets with her dream white man or not. Yeah. And it even like reinforces the inferiority that we feel as a people, you know? So I always like to get women's perspective on that because it's a pretty big, they're moving, they are moving. Yeah. So let me ask you this and we'll close out. Part of the reason this is important to me is because I believe that women are the gatekeepers of the future. Like women literally decide who gets replicated and who doesn't, right? And as a community right now, are women are selecting the lowest common denominator to replicate? They're not selecting the great fathers and great men. They're selecting the rappers and this and that. And that's why for me, you know, it sucks to see that when black women tend to think of a black man, they don't think of your dad or your brother or men like that. They think of the toxic, the futures, the pookies, the ray rays. So what is it that you think men are missing in their understanding of women? Like if you can give men a peek behind the curtain, what do you think we, if we understood this of our women, the good guys would have a better, easier time, easier, better chances, whatever the case may be, the bad guys would be able to turn over a new leaf. Tell me your nuggets that you feel like men can really use to better dialogue with y'all. First of all, we're not emotionally wired the same way. There's this book called something about women are like spaghetti, men are like waffles. So men think they compartmentalize. They can only focus on one thing at a time. Women, we can be focused on a lot of stuff, have a lot of stuff going on. And like I said, our emotional makeup is not the same. Plus, men naturally need to feel respected. Women naturally need to feel loved. So if there's an imbalance, it's called the crazy cycle. So you're just gonna be going around in this freaking crazy cycle, nobody's gonna be like, so I know personally, if I don't feel loved, I'm not going to feel the need to respect you. And vice versa, if a man feels like he's not being respected, he's not going to have the enthusiasm to love you. That's one of the biggest things that I've learned. So in like love languages, what is it that makes you feel, that fills your tank? And the other person being able to cater to that because naturally, I mean, there's a book called The Five Love Languages is what I'm referring to. So naturally, the way that we perceive love and what fills our tank, we're gonna naturally want to do the same thing for the other person, but they're not gonna receive it as a form of love because that's not their love language. So it's like learning each other's love language. So like, what makes you feel respected as a man? And being able to do that. And then vice versa, what makes you feel loved as a woman? That's the natural needs that I've learned between a man and a woman. The man wants to be respected and wants to feel respected and the woman wants to feel loved. I hope I answered your question. You did, you did. Okay, so ask me a question. Anything. I've been a man for a while, so hopefully I can offer some insight. Okay, so based on what I just said, is do you find any validity in that? Any truth in that? Does it resonate with you? It does. It does, especially the five love languages part because I learned that cheat code a while ago, right? Because I found myself doing stuff for people that I would have really valued, but they didn't interpret it as valuable in the way that I would have. Until I realized that, oh, I'm speaking French and they only speak Spanish, right? However, the only place that I would kind of put an asterisk is if a woman feels loved, she will respect you. I think unfortunately what's happening right now, especially in our community, is that because of trauma, because of experiences and childhood, whatever the case may be, some people are actually uncomfortable being loved. And they might not even recognize it, but like peace feels like, feels scary, because chaos is their norm, right? Or the guy who actually loves me, the guy who actually likes me, he, it's easier for me to take him for granted because he's here. Whereas I'm used to earning a guy and I wanna prove to this bad boy and whatever the case may be. So like men in the barbershops are saying, no, that's not true. Loving a woman doesn't mean she's gonna respect you or even want you, right? Because we're seeing that the guys who are actually loving properly getting plagued, they're the ones getting cheated on and left on red and all the things. So I think unfortunately what I've learned in my short time is that this thing is not a science, it's an art form, right? And thankfully I know how to ask the right questions to ascertain where the trauma is if there's trauma, there is trauma, but where it is and if it's something worth navigating or not, but yeah, guys, guys, guys are, guys are having a tough time with women these days. Apparently vice versa. And that's why I'm trying to do this. I'm trying to give or help men get an insight into the female psyche and hopefully vice versa as well with some of my responses, but yeah. Did you get any kind of insight, a different take from me or anything? I hope I helped. Yes and no, yes and no, it's both, right? Because in as much as your life experience is different than any other woman I've interviewed, there are some consistencies. There were some things, some takes that were surprising, but yeah. But it's, like I said, I want this to be a library so like you can see the consistencies and like 50 black women all think this about this thing, but then they deviate here, here, here and here. But yeah, there's it. Hopefully that was painless. It was, but you definitely tugged on my heart strings there and got me. I'm a documentary filmmaker, that's what I do. Geez, it just came out of nowhere though.