 Hi, welcome to Seymour's World commentary on Think Tech Hawaii. You can find all my commentaries and Seymour's World episodes on the Think Tech Hawaii website. I welcome your comments by email, text, or phone, or you can reach me at Seymour.Kazimersky at gmail.com or by phone number at 808-551-3222. Today our topic is lack of communication. I'm not a psychologist but just like you there are times when I have to take a step back and realize that I'm too self-absorbed and I'm not communicating with my wife, my family, and my friends. In my case, my cancer diagnosis was not only a lightning bolt of terror but also a trauma I had to face as well as a wake up call for me. I tried to hide my fears, I tried to become busier than ever, and tried to isolate my inner fright and distress from everybody. But through the grace of God, Sue and I and my family started communicating again and now we can move forward together rather than going through the motions. Do you find the way you communicate with your significant other causes more problems than it solves? If so, your relationship may be suffering from a lack of healthy communication. Healthy communication patterns include both specific skills and a connection with your partner. This includes staying positive, limiting your anger, and engaging in active listening. An adequate communication style is important for the longevity and quality of your relationship and you and your spouse should resolve to communicate effectively. Conflict exists in all relationships. And when communication is difficult or impossible, conflict often goes unresolved. Negative communication patterns such as inconsistencies with your tone or your body language and different communication styles can even lead to more conflict escalation in some cases. By adopting an effective communication pattern with your partner, you will be more equipped to settle disagreements and resolve conflict without negative consequences to your relationship. This includes the famous word using I, focusing on the problem instead of the person, listening and providing feedback and avoiding interrupting or blaming. A lack of communication can lead to consistent negativity in interactions. In effective communication, attempts tend to distress those involved which can result in reciprocated negative exchanges. This can make it very difficult to move towards a more effective communication style. It is also important to remember that communication patterns also involve nonverbal exchanges such as eye contact, tone of voice, and other cues. Communication problems and the conflict that often results have been known to contribute to reduced relationship satisfaction and eventual breakup. Love being able to communicate effectively can make you feel incompatible with your partner or frustrated with the relationship in general. These result in affairs, looking for love in others, and of course potential divorce. This suggests that adopting good patterns of communication can help you and your spouse or your partner to maintain a successful relationship. It's not likely that you have a magic crystal ball that will tell you what's going on in your romantic partner's head. Without communication, it's almost impossible to get on the same page and keep your relationship afloat. A lack of communication can quickly cause misunderstandings, resentments, and feelings that you are emotionally far away or distant from each other. One of the major effects of poor communications is fighting or bickering with your partner. Having communication fall into the background of your relationship may put distance between the two of you. Make your partner feel like her or his feelings aren't valid or make you feel like he or she doesn't care. This can lead to tension or mixed signals and result in potentially bad arguments. When communication breaks down and the two of you are no longer understanding each other, you may go a step beyond arguing and walk away. Where one of you stops caring loses the ability to feel invested in the relationship or the misunderstandings build and build until they take over your relationship, flight is a normal response to these situations. Another issue is the lack of closeness that poor communication can create. When the two of you stop sharing, it's possible that you'll also stop caring enough to stick around, assuming that you don't need to verbally communicate with your partner or that you know what he or she is thinking is a recipe for a disaster in a relationship. When you assume that you know what your partner is thinking or what he or she wants, you aren't communicating. This results in misunderstandings and relationship conflict. For example, you assume that your boyfriend or girlfriend knows that you're upset because he didn't remember to call. He assumes that your silence about the issue means that everything is fine. The two of you are on the wrong page, landing your relationship in a disjointed place. The resulting lack of communication may cause further conflict or resentment. So my friends, don't forget to communicate. First listen and then talk. I hope this helps you as it has helped me. My name is Seymour Kazimurski. You're watching a commentary of Seymour's World. You can find all my commentaries and Seymour's World episodes on the Think Tech Hawaii website. I welcome your comments by email, text or phone and you can reach me at Seymour.Kazimurski at gmail.com or 808-551-3222. I wish you all Aloha.