 what's going on y'all welcome to the single guy channel my name is Lloyd I am not the single guy so what we're going to talk about today is how to get that one girl I would say probably half the messages more than half of the messages that I get in my inbox on a daily basis are from guys that have this story about this one particular girl that they're really interested in they maybe had some back and forth between her or whatever it is and they're trying to win this girl over okay they're trying to get this girl to want to date them to be in a relationship with them to have some sort of romantic connection okay or romantic relationship with this person nine times out of ten my advice for this person is to stop putting the girl on a pedestal and to try and find other girls that are going to be a better fit for them because if they're having a lot of problems now the problems usually won't end now every single time I tell them this none of them listen to my advice and they still continue to pursue that one girl so I'm actually going to answer this question a little bit differently now and tell you guys when I was actually able to get that one girl meaning there was a girl that I really liked in my college and I was really interested in her I wanted to date her I was super interested probably too interested in her and I'll tell you about that and I'll tell you the correct way of being able to do this okay so I'll just start with my story now when I was in college I was really interested in this one girl we were friends and we used to hang out a lot I couldn't tell if she was interested in me but I you know I was thinking about her a lot I was really interested in her okay it's definitely a lot of unhealthy feelings going on there but nevertheless I thought I was spin I thought I was in love so we would hang out a lot and I felt like this person was like the exact type of girl that I wanted to date you know her personality her looks you know the activities like her ambition like all of this stuff I thought was perfect I thought she as some people say checks all over the boxes and what I would do was I would kind of plan my day around like trying to be able to spend time with her or sorry playing my week you know I have classes and I had everything that I was doing so I would do that and eventually I felt like I was too much of being a friend with her so I decided that I was going to tell her what my feelings were so I wrote down on a piece of paper a practice sit in front of the mirror I told her that I really liked her that I thought she was really smart I thought she's really cool I thought she's really pretty and I wanted to take her out on the date and I said those exact words and to my surprise she actually agreed to go out on a date with me and so I went on this date it was like one of the happiest moments of my of my college up until that point it was like freshman year I think and I had a great time then she came away from that date and we texted for a little bit but then she actually messaged me telling me that she didn't think it was a good idea for us to go on a second date and then she ghosted me completely you know all that friendship all that time that we had spent together didn't talk to me at all okay so I was really hurt by this and then I found out through some other people that I think she got back together with her ex-boyfriend or something like that so I was really hurt by this so I decided that I was gonna cut all contacts from her didn't talk to her if she was in a class I would drop it if she was talking to a group of friends that I knew I would just walk away okay if she was at a party I would leave that was my policy was to kind of get her out of my life so I could move on and I thought that that was actually the right thing to do and I did other things I dated other girls and then two years go by two years go by and I run into her at a Halloween party and I see her around and I see her there it had been two years so I actually had time to move on I didn't have these all these these pent up feelings towards her and the conversation flowed well like we started flirting with each other we started having a great time and then the most miraculous thing happened we actually started dating it was a very intense relationship and it was one of the most amazing things ever okay so how was I able to get this girl how was I able to start dating this girl and make her actually want me well the truth is you can't make somebody want you okay that's the moral of this story and the more you try and make somebody want you the more manipulative and crazy and creepy you're getting so first of all stop trying to do that it's like the movie groundhog day have you guys ever seen the movie groundhog day some might people in my channel might be a little too young for that movie but groundhog days are great movies with bill Murray he's repeating the same day he wakes up and he repeats the same day you know every single day so what he decides to do is he's he really likes the news reporter that he's reporting with so he decides every single day he's going to try and win her over and he's going to try and sleep with her basically so every single day he wakes up and he learns her interests he learns the correct way to talk to her he learns you know the stuff that she finds attractive he learns all like the perfect date to take her on he knows every single little thing he says all the right words and then he of every single date he gets closer and closer to the time where he brings her home and then eventually he brings her home and finally when he gets to the final part where they're about to have sex he just stops him and she goes oh I just it just doesn't feel right like I can't do it and he can never get past that point so you know what he does he gives up trying he stops trying to do that and then he starts bettering himself he starts bettering the people around him he starts helping people out he starts there's a guy who's falling out of a tree he catches him there's a lady old lady crossing the street he helps her cross the street there's a guy who's having trouble with his business he helps him out with his business because he knows what's going to happen that day okay he spends all throughout the day helping people out learning new skills and by the end of the day he's one of the most popular people in the town you know he's playing the piano he's got some cool glasses on and everybody's having a good time and because he's given so much value towards other people and then the news reporter who he had spent all the the entire previous movie trying to win over she sees him doing this and you know what happens they end up sleeping together that night and he stops repeating the day why was he able to do this it's because he stopped going after the girl he started bettering himself he started bettering the people around him that's the kind of guy that women want to get with women do not want a guy that's so focused on them whose only objective is to win them over how lame is that they want to be with a higher value guy of the guy who gives value towards other people and stops focusing on them so although i didn't do like everything correct in my college time that's really what i did was i stopped talking to her and i started focusing on myself and i started focusing on kind of like the people around me a little bit more okay but you know there was i was still being pretty selfish at that point in time and you know that i didn't do it perfectly but i did some of the stuff that worked and so that's why i think we started dating in the end but here's the secret about that story you guys when it comes to that one girl that you want to win over my story does not have a happy ending there because although we did end up dating and we did get into a very intense relationship we did end up breaking up and we it was a really tough breakup for me one of the toughest that's never happened like we were only together for a couple months the problems that was the reason why we didn't get with each other in the first place those problems didn't go away just because we started dating okay and in the end i i don't even know if it was worth it for us to date in the end so although you have fixated and put this one girl on a pedestal there are problems that you're not seeing right now because you're so into this person and once you once you take a step back and look at it for what it is hopefully you'll be able to see that but if you do want that one girl that's the way to do it and uh stop focusing on her start bettering yourself start bettering the people around you and hopefully you'll see that a lot of other women that are better suited for you are actually going to be the girl that you go for okay so that's my advice to you that's the long answer to this question that i get probably like two or three times a day um so hopefully this helps you guys and guys if you got something out of this hit the subscribe button i have so many viewers on my channel that don't subscribe so hit the subscribe button hit the notification is about to get notified when i come out with a new video thanks a lot y'all good luck out there