 The makers of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Si Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Mash with Alan Reed as the swallow. You know friends, Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum is a typically American product that appeals to people of all ages and nationalities in all parts of our country. And the Wrigley people feel that Life with Luigi is a typically American radio program. A friendly, enjoyable show that sort of symbolizes the American spirit of tolerance and goodwill. So the makers of Wrigley Spearman Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi each week and have you join them in this pleasant half-hours entertainment. And now let's read Luigi's letters. He writes about his adventures in America to his mama basco in Italy. Dear my money, American people, they what you call join us. They like to belong to things. Gills, unions, societies, associations, and they even got a club for animals. That's called the orcs. Also they got one that's called the mooses. I'm supposed to have a meeting in the zoo. And to show you how these clubs, they make a nicer feeling between all kinds of animals. I'm worried that where Lions in the Lands are clubs, where they have a get-together. Anyway, ever since I'm a come to America, I'm hoping I'm going to join in something. So I too could feel like I'm a belong. He's a wonderful thing to belong. But the only one who's going to give me that feeling is my countryman Pasquale. He wants his daughter Rosa should have belonged to me. But I'm going to want that to mama me. I'm going to want to join the elephants. The reason I'm writing you so much about joining your things is because last week, another antique dealer is coming to my store. Hello, Mr. Baskov. Hello, Mr. Ellis. Mr. Baskov, I want to thank you for that Lincoln item. Is there nothing to thank me about? Yes, there is. My customer came in and that statue did the trick. That's funny. I'm going to have a Lincoln statue in my shop for the most of two years and never do tricks for me. I mean, I made the sale. Here's your $30. That's what you paid for it, isn't it? Yes. Thank you. Thank you. And now... What's the matter? Well, I'm just wondering about your cut. My cut to mama me. You see, blood is someplace. No, no, your commission. After all, if it hadn't been for your generosity, I would have lost out. As a fact, my customer would probably have come in here and you would have made the sale. I've done it well, Mr. Ellis. I'm a no-seller. What? I wasn't going to sell a Lincoln. I wasn't going to keep them. But when you found me, well, you're not an antique dealer. I'm going to like to think we're all the same kind of people. I'm going to do that for you. You did the same thing for the Jones Curio shop, didn't you? That's very nice of you, Mr. Vasco. And what you just said doesn't mean a murder to me than a money. You know, I'm going to propose you for membership in our antique dealers association. Mr. Ellis, what you just said doesn't mean even a murder than what you said before. Yes, our association should have more men like you. I'll propose your name today. Oh, thank you. You're wonderful, a man. No wonder the United States is the name of an island after you. Island after me? Sure, that's the place I'm a first to come to in America, Ellis Island. So, Mamma Mia, guess what's happening? You said the Luigi's are going to belong to something. Just a little while ago I'm going to receive a membership blank. And Mamma Mia, you don't know what this means. For a little immigrant like Luigi Vasco to join a high-class antique dealers association is like for a girl to join the way I'm a CA. Anyway, I'm so excited. And a membership blank is a place for further business references to sign. So now I'm going to get a signature. And the first one I'm going to naturally is my countryman, Pasquale. Luigi, my friend. Hello, Luigi, hello, hello. Hello, Pasquale. Hey, Pasquale, you cannot do me big a favor. Not as big a one as you can do for me. All right, now let's forget what I said in the start all over again. No, Pasquale, please. Maybe you're helping me out, huh? That's right. Are you in trouble? No, Pasquale. All I'm going to do is you should sign the disappear. Oh, no, I'm not signing a thing. It's only, it's only, it's only, it's only. That's all you ever say. Maybe they wrote that a new song after you. It's only, it's only. Call me to dance the horror. No, Pasquale, please. Oh, no, I'm not signing a thing. Luigi, every time I sign a paper for you, either I get in the trouble, I lose the money, or a man comes and takes away my furniture. Okay, well, Pasquale, if only you were to listen. Luigi, it took me 15 years to learn how to sign in my name. It's the time you stop taking advantage of my talent. Pasquale, this paper is for the antique dealers of America, and they want a photo signature before I'm a kind of joint. Oh, is it not enough? I should have signed it once, and now you want it? I should have signed it four times. What's this antique deal association? Oh, it's a big thing for me, Pasquale. First of all, it means that my business is good enough that I'm accepted by these businessmen. You see, they put a label on my window, and it says this store is approved by antique dealers of America. That's funny. I'm a belongant organization, too. But they never put a sign on my window to say this is spaghetti. It's approved by the restaurant association. Oh, Pasquale, association don't have to approve you spaghetti. It's approved enough by your customers. Luigi is sending out a flower to somebody. Ah, give me your blank outside. Oh, thank you, Pasquale. It's very important I'm having the right to character reference. And from you, it's going to be very good because of you, real character. Yes. And I just to think, Pasquale, me, me, part of this big group, they're going to have a meeting, even a big affair. But I'm going to meet the people and get them to know new people, have new friends. That's smiling. Friends, you've got an hour's no good. Oh, no, isn't that that that? It's just that when you meet the new people, they say your interest is a broaden. Luigi, I don't like you should have made a new people. I like you should have been interested with my daughter Rosa. Pasquale, she's too broad. If that's the case, Luigi, then you don't want to my signature. Here, take a back. All right, Pasquale. If you feel like that, then I'm going to my next school class and a day sign a paper. No. And I'm sorry for what I said before. You mean about my Rosa? No, about you spaghetti. It's a proof, all right, not by your customers, but by big association. The Heartburn Association. All right, Pas, attention, please. I'll call the roll. Mr. Basquale. Here. Mr. Howard. Here. Mr. Olsen. Here. Mr. Schultz. Here. Mr. Schultz, what was the idea of calling my name? Well, Mr. Schultz, every night you call ours, so I just thought tonight I'd give you a chance to see how the other half lives. All right, before we smile, let's get to our work for today. Well, class, today we're studying the Declaration of Independence. Mr. Howard, what are you writing there? Oh, I'm signing a paper for Luigi. Signing a paper? What paper? The Declaration of Independence. What else? Mr. Schultz. And I'm explaining, isn't that the Horowitz's effort? You see, I've got to... Mr. Basquale, but please do it after class. Now, Mr. Horowitz, suppose you answer the first question. With pleasure. You may tell us the date of the Declaration of Independence. 1776. Good. And by coincidence, it came out a holiday. July 4th. Of course, it was on July 4th, Mr. Horowitz, and that's why we celebrate the 4th as a holiday. I thought it was because the banks was closed. In 1933, the banks were closed for two months, and they were sent to holiday. Tim will get horrible information that Olsen carries around in his head. Oh, is that so? All right, all right, all right. Let's not become disorganized. What's gotten into this class tonight? Now, the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4th, 1776, and for that reason, it has ever since been celebrated on a holiday. I mean, it became a holiday. Schultz, think. If the Declaration of Independence was finished on Labor Day, everybody would be out of town and Jefferson would have to sign it 50 times. That's enough, Mr. Schultz. That's enough. And Mr. Olsen, what are you doing there? Oh, I am signing Lovici's character reference paper. Goodness. Mr. Baccar, I asked you to hold that until after class. I must sound like Mr. Spaulding or was it my fault? No. No, let us be fair and just. Then I'll do something wrong by a Yemeni and the first one to admit it. Well, all right, all right, all right. So give me any punishment to be meted out in your judgment. Then let me be the one to bear the full grudge. All right, Mr. Olsen. Because when I am wrong, Olsen, Olsen, it's time to get you out of jail. Stop fighting your way back in. Please get yourself back to order. I've never seen you this way. All right. All right. All right. All right. Now let's get back to our work. Mr. Baccar, you may answer the next question. Yes, Mr. Spaulding. You may name some of the signers. Some of the what? The signers? Yes. Some of the signers. Well, it's so fun. I'm going to get the Hollywood Senators. Oh, no, no, no. There was Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams, Button Gwyneth. They never signed to my character reference. This is just ridiculous. Such confusion. Mr. Schultz, you may answer. Mr. Schultz, what are you doing now? Well, I was chosen. Mr. Spaulding, don't get mad, but I'm finding Luigi's character ever and again. Mr. Schultz, all of you, I've never seen the class this way before. Mr. Baccar, you may hand me that paper and I'm going to tear it up. No, no, no, Mr. Spaulding. Give me that paper. All right. Here. Mr. Spaulding, please. This paper represents a very important thing in my life. A chance to join any tick dealers of America. I'm an idiot for character references and I'm more than a gutter tree. With just one more, I'm going to make the biggest step up since I'm in America. I'm never too belonging to something to be part of something. Mr. Spaulding, what are you going to do? Well, what can I do? I'm going to sign it, too. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a way to make pleasant hours even more enjoyable. No matter what your favorite pastime is, you can add to the fun by chewing delicious wriggly spearmint gum. It's a treat to sink your teeth with a smooth piece of wriggly spearmint. A lively, full-bodied, real spearmint flavor tastes mighty good and freshens your taste. And the smooth, easy chewing gives you enjoyment and satisfaction. So make every day more enjoyable by chewing healthful, refreshing, wriggly spearmint gum. It's a treat that you can enjoy almost any time, anywhere, and it adds to the fun of whatever you're doing. Now, let's turn to page two of Luigi Vasco's letter to his mother and everyone. How so, mommy? Everything has come out to fine. Antique dealings is like my four references, and the senator me let us say, they're going to come and look over my antiques at seven o'clock tonight. You see, my stuff is got to be real antiques, which means it was made before 1830. If it was made after 1830, it's not called antiques. It's called a secondhand. You remember me? I'm so excited about this committee coming. All the day, I'm going around to my store and I'm a polish up of my antiques, so they all are going to look nice and old. Anyway, while I was working, who was to come in but you know who? Well, well, you already joined the association yet to my little banana nodes? Not yet, not yet. But soon, and I did it without you. My schoolmates, they signed up for me. That's a really scraping from the bottom of the barrel. I like to look at that application of blank when they get so puttin' their X's on it, it must look like a game of tiki-taki-toe. Yeah, but I reckon it's better than you, Pascuali. And what's the more, the signatures was accepted. It was? Yeah, seven o'clock tonight, the committee is coming to examine my store. They're going to examine your store? I suppose the committee walks in and says, store, I got an examine. You open up your mouth and say, ah. You laugh at the other side and say, happy Pascuali, what's the matter? Well, it's just because you joined in the ASPCA. Is it not the ASPCA? Sure it is, American Society for Prevention of Cruelty and Antiquity. Listen, Luigi, when that committee sees the pilot junk you've got to hear, they're going to recommend that you join just one organization, the Salvation Army. At least they find a good use for their stuff. Pascuali, you're just mad. That's the way you talk like that. Maybe I'm not as big like a marshmallow field. My little store is full of a genuine analytics and that's all the committees are coming to find out to see if my store is honest. What are they going to do? Take down a statue of George Washington and give them the lie detector test? No. As long as I've got at least 70% of real analytics and I don't lie about a fake one then I'm going to say that to be honest the business man. Oh, in other words, if they catch you with a fake antique in the store you out there. That's right. But that's not going to happen. No, Luigi. That's never going to happen. Well, goodbye. Oh boy, I've got to fix it now. Luigi, good. What about God that's old? Besides the Rosa. Oh, yes. Hi, Pascuali. How's business? Terrible. And you ain't eating the hair till you pay up for what you owe. Well, what do I owe you? Well, it's in a 75 cents. Oh, come on, Pascuali. Have a heart. I'm hungry. I'll figure out a way to pay you back, honest. Nothing to do with it. Now, you get out. Wait a minute. You know Luigi? No, never even seen the guy. Good. I've got a great idea. Come on down the cellar with me. I've got an old clock because it's been laying around for years. Now, the idea is for you to come in. Hello, Luigi. You sure? God, your store cleaned up nice for these committee fellas. What time are they coming? A few hours. Seven o'clock. Mr. Ellis helped me straighten out everything to look good. Sure. These antiques sure look good. You sure they're all real, Luigi? Don't worry, Pascuali. Since I'm a convert to America, my big love is to study antiques. I think I'm going to recognize a real antique a mile away. Mmm. Pascuali, what do you mean? Mmm. Just show what I said. Mmm. You know, Luigi, you never trust anybody. You trouble-aids. When I'm going a mmm, you think I'm really saying a mmm instead of a mmm. I'd like to see the owner of this place. Oh, hello. I'm the owner. Oh, it's a nice o'clock you've got here. Oh, I'm glad you like it, because I want to sell it. It was given to me by my grandmother. Ah. Very fine a grandfather o'clock. I mean by my grandfather. You see, he gave it to my father, and my father gave it to me. I don't have any son, so I'm stuck. Luigi, looks like it's a real old. Yep, Pascuali. One that the word was a very popular in the 18th century. From the coldness of a word it looks like you kept it in a cellar, huh? Oh, yes, yes. It was kept in a cellar, all right. Well, mister, I got a bad news for you. You got a nice and a thick, but I'm not got enough money to buy it. Oh, well, I'm sorry. Just a minute, mister. Don't go yet. Luigi, you got to have this piece of junk. This standing. You got to have it even if I got to buy it for you. You? Pascuali, why you do this for me? Because I love you, Lily Cabbage Puss. At 6 o'clock, I'll make a big impression on the committee and I want to help you join. How much you wanted for this genuine antique clock, mister? Well, I don't know. A hundred bucks, OK? OK, leave the clock here. I take you in my store. I'll give you the cash. Goodbye, Luigi. Goodbye, Pascuali. And thank you very much. It's a nothing, Luigi. And believe me, when I say it's a nothing, it's a nothing. Come on, mister. Thank you, pardon the lady. Oh, that's quite all right. I'm looking for something that... Hey, Joe, you was very good. Yeah, yeah. I thought I handled it pretty well myself. Hey, you really got him fooled, didn't you? Yeah. It shows how much he knows the greener on a boob. Hey, Joe. Huh? You don't owe me nothing for the food you ate here and here's a ten dollars for your trouble, OK? Oh, very good. Any time you want some more clock delivered, you're just hard. Yeah, wait till I come in and get a look at that clock. Is it going to be true? Finish out. No meetings and no parties and no people and no party. The only one he'll have a left to look at is my rooster. Oh, I'm a mean. Hey, Pascuali, look through that window. And Dame just came out of Luigi's store with your clock. What? Give me back that clock. What? Who are you, anyway? That clock belongs in that store. What are you talking about? I just bought it. What? Oh, that double cross. I just paid $125 for this clock. Oh, look, lady, I've got to have this clock back. I'll give you $150 for it. No questions asked. But why? Well, lady, I've got a sentimental attachment for this clock. I'm going to give it to my father. He's going to give it to his father. If it's to go out of the family, it's going to break my great-grandfather's heart. Well, I don't know it. It's $150 a cash. That's $25 a profit for you. Well, I... Thank you, lady. Goodbye. Goodbye. Pascuali, what are you doing over that clock? I'm just sold it. Fine prescient of a friend that you are. You take this a clock for me and then you sell it. You're an Indian taker. I bought it. You should have made a good impression on the committee. They're going to be here in a half hour. Well, thank you, Pascuali. But after all, that's my business. And when lady is wanted, I'm not going to turn it down. Well, fine away. She's a water. She's sold it back to me for $150. Now put that clock in the wind and don't let it out. I want to, Pascuali. But tell me, why you do all this? Why you bought me this big of a clock? Why? Why? Why? Because I hate a wristwatch. That's why. Come on, ma'am. The committee should be here any minute. I'm getting nervous. Don't be nervous. I want to look on that clock. And when you tell them what all the history it's got, you become a member like this. That sounds like a veteran of me out. It does. It does, baby. Hmm. And there's that hmm again. Pascuali, you're weighing me. What have you got to worry about? You made the money for me. You still got the clock. Yeah, but it's a look of fun without a sign. Genuine antique clock, a big bargain. Not for sale. That's just so you don't get a grade here. Hey, hey, here comes your committee. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm getting nervous. Pascuali, how am I looking? Is my tie cleaner? My face is on our eyes whenever. Hello, may I wake up in? Oh, hello. Sure, sure. Come on inside, please. I'm Louis Javasco. You come from antique dealers' association, huh? Correct. I'm Leo White. This is Jack Hunter. And this is Bert Franklin. We're on the elections committee. How do you do? How do you do, too? This is my friend, Mr. Pascuali. How do you do, gentlemen? I'm pleased to make you acquaintances. By the way, what time is it? I have seven. Mr. Watches, they're so independable. You're right. I always carry a pocket watch. It's seven-two. Mr. Pascuali, if you don't mind, we'd just like to sort of walk around and examine your stock. Do you mind? Oh, I'm in no mind. Well, don't look in the window too much. You'll likely fall through. Thank you. We'll just look. Maybe you gentlemen like to eat something while you're looking. I'm going to get a nice fruit, a coffee, milk, a tea, something. That's right now. Thank you. Thank you. Hmm. They kind of stuck up, if you ask me. Pascuali, they're judges, and they just don't want to examine the antiques so without they should have been bothered. Funny thing, you know, my store, the customers, they touch everything. Sometimes they even abide into it, then they return it. Shh, shh, shh, shh. They're coming in here. It's pretty quick, huh? They even need for a look at the clock. Mr. Pascuali, it isn't really necessary for us to make more than a perfunctory survey. You see, it's a nice, huh? Yes, it is. But frankly, it's not particularly outstanding. It's authentic, but your stock is rather limited. Limited? On this basis only, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to you, right, Luigi? You want to be a social climate? These are gentlemen that push you down. Please, please, Pascuali. The biggest thing you learn in a life, Luigi, is to stay where you belong. Whales are staying in the ocean. A fish stay in the sea. Little clouds are staying in lakes. Sardines are staying in the can. Luigi, go out and get back in the can and lose at the opener. As I was saying, Mr. Pascuali, on this basis only, I'm afraid we couldn't make a decision. However, there is one item which shows you to be a man of such rare perception and good taste that we will accept you into our association. What? Good, good at tasting? What item are you talking about? This clock, right here in the window. What are you talking about? Are you all a bunch of knuckleheads? That clock that comes out of my cellar. This is Luigi's got the worst taste that you ever saw. Well, bad taste you're not, Mr. Vasco. As far as we're concerned, you're in the association. Good day, Mr. Vasco. Good day, Mr. Vasco. Oh, my, my, that's so wonderful. Goodbye, goodbye, gentlemen. I could have shooted myself. My own clock that I pay for five of fortune's applause that got him into the association. Oh, thank you, Pascuali. Thank you so much. Well, all right. Now I'm going to do you a little favor. At least what you can do is you do me a little favor. You mean to marry Russia? Uh-huh. Nothing to do with Pascuali. Even if I would have liked to, wouldn't it be nice? But why? Because, like you said, I'm going to get the worst taste in the world. That's the thing. I'm going to be waiting for it all day. Ladies and gentlemen, everything has come out to wonderful. I'm now belong. Yes, I belong to a big organization and the big dealers of America. And a poor Pascuali. He's got no luck at all. After he's seen what's happening with his clock, he's going to make the association of fellas go down in the cell and look around again. I'm going to know what they found. But I couldn't have been going there because yesterday bought a house that closed it down in the restaurant until it cleans up Luigi Moscow real immigrant. Folks, the makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi. And they'd like to remind you to stop at your merchant's display of chewing gum next time you're at the store. Get a few packages of Wrigley's Spearman Gum for yourself and for others you'd like to treat to something good. People really appreciate your thoughtfulness when you offer them a stick or two or a package of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum. They know as you do that Wrigley's Spearman is a quality product and that there's lots of refreshing, long lasting flavor and enjoyment in every stick. So treat yourself, treat your family, treat your friends to helpful, delicious Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum. It costs very little and it tastes mighty good. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Basko writes another letter to his mama Basko Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Mr. Howard. Mack Benhoff writes the script with Lou Dermott. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Redis Pascuali, Hans Konrita Schultz, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Schiff as Miss Faulding, Joe Forte as Horowitz, and Ken Peters as Olsen. The music is under the direction of Lod Gruskin. Bob Stephenson speaking.