 presents Lesbeth Scott and Walter Brennan. From Hollywood the Mutual Network and Cooperation with Family Theater presents Mail Order Misses starring Walter Brennan. To introduce the drama here is your hostess, Lesbeth Scott. Thank you Tony LaFranco. Family Theater's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives. If we're to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families and peace for the world, Family Theater urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. And now to our drama Mail Order Misses starring Walter Brennan as Henry. Here bring the coffee cups in here Jeff. Yes dear. Just set them on the sideboard there. That brother of yours is teens a lot. I bet all this cherry ain't gonna get much attention. You and Henry can drink as much cold beer as you want. The coffees for me and Wilma. Marie? Yes Wilma? Are you sure they're in the pantry? Up on the second shelf under the oil paper. Oh yes I see them. Wilma sure looks pretty tonight. Doesn't she though? Will you hand me that potato salad Jeff? Well here. Yeah I must say you two girls got the trap pretty well baited. I don't know what you're talking about. You know good and well what I'm talking about Henry your poor unsuspecting brother who thinks he's coming back to Colton don't he'll live out his days in peace and quiet. Now Henry is a very unhappy man. He's been living alone now for better than five years. Yeah and if there's anything that brings blood to the eye of an unattached female it's a contented widow. Oh lower your voice. Do you want Wilma to hear you? She won't hear nothing she don't already know. Well you seem to forget Jefferson Gale that Henry was caught in Wilma before you and I were married better in 20 years ago. Well if she's much to a chance to get him there and I say he ought to be declared off limits. And I'm saying if I know Henry he doesn't want to be left alone. He's lonesome. Why do you think he sold his plumb and business in Hartford and decided to come back here? Well probably to try to get rid of some Eastern female who had designs on him. Oh little does he know. Wilma is not a designing female. If you must know she doesn't like the idea of seeing Henry his first night home one single bit. Mm-hmm I guess that's why she spent the whole afternoon down at the beauty poly having herself messed up real bad so Henry won't like the looks of her. Oh the beauty parlor was my idea and if I say so myself it did her proud. Well I better get down to the station. Where's my hat? On the haul tree. Oh say Henry and I may be a little late. No stop-offs Jeff you promised. Yeah but I feel a little flat tire coming on us. Jeff you promised. You know by golly it does feel good to be home Jeff. Enjoy it while you can Henry. Enjoy it while you can. Enjoy it while I can. What do you mean? Oh nothing. Not a thing in the world. Is anything wrong at the house? Is Marie sick or something? Oh no Marie's fit as a fiddle. In fact sometimes I think she's got too much energy. Well then what's the matter? We're friendly brothers-in-law you can tell me. Well maybe it ain't my business Henry but well did you have any special reason for coming back here to Coltonville to live? Yes Jeff I don't mind admitting it but I want to get married again. You what? Jeff look out look out! Henry don't play jokes on me like that while I'm driving. I'd like to stop my heart beating. I'm not joking. What's the matter with you? I just can't seem to believe it. You can't believe I want to get married again? What's so strange about it? But Henry you've been married once don't you remember what it's like? I certainly do. Fifteen of the happiest years of my life. I didn't even appreciate how happy I was at the time. I've gone five years without that kind of companionship and I'm not going any longer. Well suit yourself Henry. Got anyone in mind? I have. You remember a girl I used to go around with by the name of Wilma Phillips? Oh no this is too much. What's the matter now? Wilma Phillips is sitting in our parlor. There's very minute just waiting for you to poke your unsuspecting nose through the door. Are you serious? Yes I tell you Marie's fixing to marry you. Marry you off to Wilma. She figures you got away from her once 20 years ago but this I didn't get away. It was Wilma that kept holding back all the time and if Wilma's finally agreeable after all these years then so am I. That's them all right Wilma. I just saw the car swing into the driveway. Oh Marie now that Henry's here I'm where you stop fussing Wilma. I want to go home. Oh Marie I'm scared. Oh what if he doesn't like me. Here they are. Now you look pretty and stop blinking at everything Wilma. There is something to see. How are you sis? Oh I'm fine just fine. Say Henry you're not near as involved as you look in your pictures. Well this is my second childhood you know maybe it's starting to grow back in again. Henry you remember Wilma. You bet I do. How are you Wilma. I'm just fine Henry and you. Oh I'm fine just fine. That's what I call getting off to a good start. Now who's ready for a cold bottle of beer. Oh can't you ever get your mind out of the refrigerator. It's a long hot drive out here from downtown. Something cool would taste good Jeff. How about you Wilma. Not just yet Henry thank you. Well that's too anyhow wife. No come on out in the kitchen with me I just remembered a good story. Oh I've heard your story. Well you ain't heard this one come on. Oh if you weren't the most unsubtle heavy handist man I ever saw. Simmer down simmer down. I'll make a nice peanut butter sandwich. You know I guess Jeff must think that well I wanted to talk to you alone. Yes. Well he's right Wilma I do. Oh yes and I might as well get right to it. I've been living alone the better part of five years now. I know Henry we were terribly sorry when we heard about your wife. You never did meet Evelyn did you. No. Well we drove here through here better part of August is about 12 years ago one summer on the trip. I remember how Marie told me I was working over in Cedar Falls then. Marie was just crazy about her Evelyn. She was a lot like you Wilma. A lot like you. I think she'd approve. Approved. Yeah you and me getting married. Married. My gracious Henry you but you have been here five minutes. Well what's five minutes got to do with it. I started asking you to marry me better than 20 years ago. I'd like to think about it. Think about it. Wilma I'm getting older every minute. What's there to think about. Well we haven't known each other for years. Well that's no fault of mine if you'd married me the first time I asked you. Well we'd be pretty well acquainted by now. That's a very unfair thing to say Henry. You think you're being fair putting me off the better part of two years. Well apparently you recovered quickly enough. You hadn't been east for six months before you found someone else. Yes now I wouldn't have been married in half that time if it hadn't been that Evelyn was such a staller. She was a lot like you. Oh Henry Jeff just told me I knew you had a reason for coming back here. I just knew it. Wilma what did I tell you. Welcome back into the club brother. I guess a man just can't be smart and happy all at the same time. Yeah well maybe you'd better stash away those congratulations for a while Jeff. Oh what's the matter. Well it turns out I've been a well just a little too impulsive. Wilma what's he talking about. He's talking about me. I just don't like being being stampeded into things. Stampeded she says. Twenty years. It's not twenty years it's five minutes. You haven't been in this house long enough to smoke a cigar and you want us to pick up where we left off just as if nothing had happened. I'm not asking you to pick up anything. I made you a bona fide a proposal of marriage. Yeah very romantic too. This may be your idea of a proposal Henry but it's not mine. Well how do you like that. I said it wrong. That's right. Said it. You didn't ask me you just said it. You said you thought your first wife would approve of our getting married. Let's leave every out of this. I didn't bring her into it. You did too bring her into it. Just started by saying you were sorry to hear she passed on. Well I was and I am and what's more I'm getting sorry every minute. Now look here folks. That's all I wanted to hear. The offers withdrawn. Now look Wilma don't run off like that. Let it go let it go if she don't want to get married there's plenty who do. Yes and I'm no doubt you'll find someone who's just your type. You better will and if you don't think so just watch me. Your breakfast Jeff it's getting late. I was just noticing. There's nothing in the world stairs back at you like two fried eggs on a blue plate. Oh you better cut them up before you're hypnotized. I'll do it. By the way ain't Henry down yet. Yes down and out. He wanted to get over to the post office early. Say what is that brother of yours up to. He got more mail in the last week than Santa Claus could handle. He hasn't told me and I haven't asked him. Wilma's cold any better. She hasn't got a cold. She's broken hearted and all I got to say is that. Good morning Jeff Marie. Morning. Beautiful morning. Morning Henry. How about some eggs. Yeah thanks Jeff I will. Good grief Henry. Did you get all those letters down at the post office just now. Yeah. You please pass the pepper Jeff. Oh yes here you are. Were they all for you. Those letters all for you. Yeah. Most of it forwarded from Hartford. Henry. No. Oh. All right all right you're burning with curiosity so I'll tell you. These letters are all responses to an advertisement I ran in the Chicago paper last Sunday. An advertisement. For what. For a wife. A wife. You advertise in the newspapers for a wife. Well I'll be done. I'll be done. It's nothing to laugh about. What's wrong with advertising for a wife in the papers. People do it for everything else to sell houses buy use cars get in touch with lost relatives. But you don't buy and sell wives. No but you got to get in touch with them. And then add in the newspaper shows you mean business. Look at some of these letters here Marie. Don't tell me advertising doesn't get results. Oh it's the most scandalous thing I ever heard. Listen to this one. Dear Mr. X. I didn't give my name I am five feet five and weigh one hundred and thirty two pounds. My age is 41 and my friends say I am an excellent cook. My lambs too and hot biscuits are the talk of the town. Enclosed is a recent snapshot of me. Say take a look at that. Yeah let me look. She looks like a pretty well kept forty one to me. Let me see that. Fifty if she's a day. That's not the best one. Not by a long shot. Look at this picture I got yesterday. All the way from Boston. Jump. Gee. That's a blonde. And just thirty five. Primal life. Primal life. Why you two old goats. That girl's much too young. She ought to be ashamed of herself. Mary I better tell you right now that I've telegraphed her an invitation to come out here and visit me. That blonde Miss Adele Fitzgibbons. I won't have her in this house. Well I didn't expect you to. I've reserved her room for tomorrow night down at Morris and if Miss Fitzgibbons and I find ourselves mutually agreeable. Well we'll take the plunge otherwise I'll keep right on looking. I can't believe it. Yes. Yes I can. It's just like Henry conducting a courtship through the classified ad section. I came over as fast as I could Wilma. Now the question is what are you going to do about this. Do. If he's going to marry this blonde woman from Boston. We can't marry her before she gets here and she ain't doing till tomorrow night. Now that gives us twenty four hours. It's hopeless. Oh nothing's hopeless if you keep your wits working. It's too late. Too late. I've lost him. Now you listen to me Wilma Phillips. Do you or do you not want to marry my brother Henry. I'd love to. Well are you willing to fight for him. Fight. Fight. Yes that's all I want to know. Now you reach into that desk drawer and get out a pen and some paper. Well what do you want me to write. A letter in response to this newspaper advertisement of Henry's. It's getting on day 30 if we're going to be on time for that train we'll have to shake a leg. Be right down just putting on my neck tie. What are you looking so chipper about dear. Nothing. Nothing. I was just thinking Henry's going to have his hands full at that train station if they both show up at once. Both. Oh you mean that mystery woman he got the letter from this morning. She won't be on that train. You waiting to see. He wired her in Chicago to come down didn't he. Yeah but from the way her letters read I don't think she'll stack up as good against Adele. Oh now it's Adele. She's going to be one of the family isn't she. Now don't be too sure. Don't be too sure. Well unless the Chicago entry is a real dish I don't give her much chance. You don't hey. You may be in for a surprise. Surprise. Listen Terry if I'd known 20 years ago you could get results like this through the mail order. I can hardly hear what you're saying over the sound of that neck tie. Oh you think it's too loud. It ain't anything of the kind Henry them hand painted ones are supposed to be lively. Well I wired that Chicago woman I'd be wearing this kind of a tie at the station. So she recognized me case she's on the train tonight. What she going to be wearing a Japanese lantern. No I told her a carnation. You know it didn't occur to me until after I sent the telegram that she and Adele might be on the same train. Yeah there's only one that comes through here at a Coltonville on Saturday. If you wasn't in such a big rush to marry yourself off you wouldn't be in this fix. Well it's too late to do anything about it now but cross my fingers. Gosh look at the time. Say that train's due in five minutes. Come on folks let's go. Looks like everybody still turns out to see the 840 community. Yeah it's a high point on Saturday evening. Folks got to do it for entertainment during the depression just never broke the Here comes the train. Well Henry won't be long now. Henry have you got any idea who this woman who wrote you from Chicago might be. Well she didn't say too much in the letter. Except that she's originally came from downstate here in the lack of chance to move back. Oh and you're keeping open mind about her aren't you. Well I'm trying to but I must admit a certain partiality to Now you remember Henry beauty is only skin deep. She comes Henry. We better get down the other end of the planet. Wait for me wait for me. There's a whole slew of people getting off the other end of the car. Henry look isn't that woman coming down the stairs there wearing a carnation. Well I'll be dark. Sure enough looks that way. Say she looks familiar. She ought to. Why why it's Wilma Wilma. I saw your ad in the paper Henry. Oh my gosh. I tried to find a white carnation but all the ones they had were yellow. I shucked you didn't have to have to go to all that trouble. If you still want me to marry you Henry I'd be proud and honored. Well there's nothing in the world I want more. Oh what did I tell you girl what did I tell you. Oh Henry I've been so foolish and proud. Henry look there she is. Oh my gosh Adele. Jeff you get that woman right back on the train. Go ahead Jeff I'll climb aboard and explain things to her in a minute. All right I'll try to stall her. Who's Adele. Oh she's just some woman who wrote me a letter. She doesn't mean a thing to me. But Henry. I tell you she doesn't mean that to me. Oh the poor dear she's one of the women who answered your ad isn't she. Well yeah I invited her to come down here. Of course I understand. Go to her Henry. I can imagine how she must feel. Okay I'll be back in a couple of minutes. And get that husband of mine off the train before it starts up again. I will. Hurry back. Excuse me please I just want to climb aboard for a minute too. Jeff. Oh Jeff calm down calm down Henry. Did you explain to her what happened. Sure sure. How'd she take it. Just dandy. She said two hundred dollars is more than she can make in a whole week acting in television. Well as far as that goes I guess she's just as glad she didn't have to get off the train and go through all that make believe we had rigged up huh. I gotta hand it to you Henry. I never thought Marie would go for that hocus pocus about the classified ad in a million years. Well I knew I had to do something to build a fire under Wilma. So you know she's the witness woman I ever did see. Say we gotta get off this thing. Remember now Jeff. Keep a straight face no laughing. Don't don't fret yourself son. I enjoy a good laugh as much as the next fellow but I'm not going to let any part of this joke get back to Marie. Yes dear. Yes dear. Oh Henry. Is it all right. Did she understand. Yes she's understood perfectly will mind and she wished us all the luck in the world. Oh I'm so happy to hear that. Yeah this is a nice clean job all around. Now all you've got to do is name the day Wilma. Yes. Well I was thinking. Say Wilma how about driving over to Murphy's first thing tomorrow morning we can pick up the license at the city hall. First thing tomorrow. Why sure Marie can be the maid of honor and Jeff. Henry we just got engaged. Oh now don't tell me that you. Wilma you're not going to start stalling again. Well I'm not stalling at all we just got engaged. I don't have a ring we haven't even announced it in the paper. The papers. Yes the papers don't you think I want my friends to know I'm getting married. I tell you a man can't win a man simply cannot win. But Wilma's perfectly right Henry you'll have to pick out a nice place in town here to live. I know some of the girls will want to give me a show. Yes and then there's all the invitations to send out. All right all right I give up. Now you boys go bring the car around we'll go back to our place and have some refreshments while we're making all the plans. Come on Wilma. Come on Henry you know something Jeff. Yep. Those two women weren't fooled for a minute. Well maybe for a minute but not much longer. You know there's something downright spooky about the way they always managed to get the upper hand. Welcome back to the club brother. You know it's funny. Well all of a sudden I feel like I never even been away. This is Elizabeth Scott again. You know there's an old saying we've all heard John Don said it a long time ago no man is an island and to himself or to put it another way no one can live in a vacuum. We depend on one another much as we strive for independence and even pride ourselves in it. It only takes a little sorrow a little pain a little poverty a little fear to make us realize how much we need the help of others. And if we depend on our neighbor for support how much more should we look to our maker on whom all of us depend. We need God's help every minute of the day. And if we're wise we'll acknowledge that need by praying to him daily with our families. We won't wait for sickness or sorrow but we'll make family prayer a normal natural part of our daily lives because we know and believe that the family that prays together stays together. More things are brought by prayer than this world dreams of. Hollywood Family Theater has brought you Mail Order Misses starring Walter Brennan. Elizabeth Scott was your hostess. Others in our cast were Irene Tedro, Gail Bonney and Leo Cleary. The script was written by John T. Kelly with music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman and was directed for Family Theater by Joseph F. Mansfield. This is Tony Lafranco expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to be with us next week when Family Theater will present the Heart Also Sees starring Gene Crane and Maureen O'Sullivan. Join us, won't you? Passed throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. This is the Mutual Broadcasting System.