 One sec, I'm gonna see random Q&A tonight I'm at practice make sure I got this up and running and I'm on uh-oh I got to get a charger, let me get a charger, get a charger, get the charger real quick y'all give me a second get this here situated plug on up thank y'all for joining me I know it's uh early might be dinner time on the east coast and still at work for some people on the west coast but want to pop on because I didn't have a coaching call tonight or any calls while my son is practicing I'm at soccer practice with my son Latrice God bless you so when I don't have a coaching call I'm gonna try to go live and do the Q&A's unless there's a pressing topic that's out there that I need to speak on but other than that I'll try to do Q&A's with the bless tribe because that's what y'all join the bless tribe for to be able to do some some Q&A's which is you know similar to a coaching session uh see oh god bless you thank y'all for joining the bless tribe we building it on up to those of you in the bless tribe who joined me on the project I think we fully loaded so I'm getting everybody email and I'll be sending out an email here shortly within the next week or so so y'all be patient with me as I get that together I'm just waiting the editing Friday and then we're gonna get going next Saturday we have the book publishing boot camp so for those y'all aspiring authors make sure you grab your spot in that in the boot camp for next Saturday which is October 14th I believe and then tonight I just wanted to do a Q&A but for those of y'all so remember with the Q&A just put the hashtag Q before your question and I should be able to see it this this chat that I'm on the system I'm using I'm able to keep the chat still so if you have a question just put the hashtag Q in front of it and now for those y'all for those y'all who were in the sure but those y'all who were in the what was it the looks compatibility class we've got an interesting case out there right now of Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift so y'all look at that right there and y'all to see a couple of things if based on what we talked about in the class how should a woman dress now you know this question here or make a make the feminists mad because they'll be like what you be what why are you asking a man how you out the dress but you know I respect it because if it's a man that you're looking to attract then I respect the fact that you care enough or that you have the wisdom to ask a man if it's a man you're looking to attract and I think that's the same thing as me and what we ought to do if we want to be attractive to a woman to learn what is attractive to a woman and I and that's one of the issues where you have women saying oh I don't dress for men I dress for women that mean that you want a woman and if that if you don't want a woman then you need to dress for yourself or dress to attract be attractive to the man you want to be your husband and so me being an athlete in college we used to shave our legs if we had hairy legs we'll shave our legs and a lot of athletes shave you know their legs or whatever some athletes shave their arms like baseball players they would shave their arms or use like you know nair or whatever and when I met my wife she was like I don't want no man with who lets smoothen in mind and then if the hair growing back is prickly and you're pricking me in the bed so I started shaving my legs and I wasn't playing football in college no more so I had no reason to to try to look athletic and show all the cuts or whatever in my leg and so I did what was attractive to my woman so that's why I say I respect that question when you look into attract a man but what I will tell you is that for me traveling the world and me just being a man and knowing men men prefer a woman to be more covered up than uncovered and men prefer for a woman to leave something to the imagination and to keep private parts private and to let your clothing represent you so don't dress like a celebrity don't dress like your mama your auntie your grandma find the clothing that really speaks for your personality and who you are so that you're completely comfortable in what you got on so like a lot of the young guys they into the shirts with all the graphics on it and a lot of the graphics may have a skull or a grim reaper well me being a spiritual guy me being a Christian I don't want to wear nothing with no skull on it or no grim reaper so I just wear something just kind of you know just a classic look and it may and I'm comfortable when I try to dress like a young guy or like a NBA player I'll be in the outfit and I feel uncomfortable so it's it's a you've got to make sure that you in something that you could feel comfortable in what does it mean when a Christian man says his woman should admire him and look up to him no I don't know what that mean in the sense of like if that's just something he's saying but hopefully he don't mean that in that way it sound like he maybe is saying that if he meant it in the right way he's saying that he would want his woman to affirm him and to respect his mind but to admire him and look up to him it sounds like he kind of has self-esteem issues but I get it on that side of where you want to be affirmed and you want to be seen and he wants to be recognized so like I might do something in business and I'd be wanting my wife to be like man babe that was a genius idea because you just as humans we want to be affirmed we want to be pat on the back we want to be recognized it's kind of like a woman too if a woman if you go to work and you get a raise and you get a promotion you're going to want your man to be like wow congratulations that's so amazing like hey you really heard like you really doing your thing like so as human but the way he worded it and I'm not sure if you just saying it like that or if he said that literal thing but um you know that's a good question to the new members thank y'all for joining do men like dingy women asking because I can be a little silly dingy I'm sorry I said dingy little silly and don't want to be annoying my wife is might if that's the word dingy if that's what that mean but my wife is like that and I'm gonna be honest with you it drive me crazy but it just I'm just very like reserved and I don't really play a lot and I'm more like my wife mama like her mama she got a sense of humor but she don't play and that's how like my daddy is he got a sense of humor but he don't play around well my wife daddy if he loves you he play around and he play a lot and so my wife got that from him and so it's one of them things where if a man loves you then he could put up with it but if you got anything else off with you and he got to have that personality to be able to put up with you and you want to be with somebody that can put up with you and I'll tell you the truth well I don't know if I'd be sad if my wife stopped playing around I do not know if I'd be sad and she'd know it I tell all the time I'm like hey calm down I'm like good and like I'm 39 years old and you give me a wedgie and just kiki care I'm like this ain't funny 39 years old you give me a wedgie so it just depends on you know if you just acting weird and stuff then you want to be with somebody that got a sense of humor and that could deal with that for me I had to come to the place to realize my wife is only like that with people she love she's not like that with strangers or people that she cool with or just kind of barely know so you know got to realize it met this guy through a friend we went on one date but he doesn't call now he texts me wanting to go on date number two should I just let it go that's a personal choice but that is kind of immature for a man not to call but I think just the society we in is is it's so text heavy and then sometimes men don't know what to do with a woman because of you know the me too movement that changed a lot with just men how men used to flirt some of that flirting started being seen as harassment and some of it was but some of it wasn't so it kind of it got this this blurred line so a man might be thinking like oh you a boss woman you got a lot going on and he might have seen he might have seen a woman on line say do not call me text me and I'll tell you if I want you to call me so it's so much out there online to where if you want a man to do something you got to communicate it you can't just you can't just you know expect him to already know and understand because there's so many mixed messages out there so if you want them to call you when he texts you say hey give me a call when you free now if you give him that opening to call you and he still don't call you now now you got an issue yeah the Christian rapper on the podcast if he said he wanted a woman to admire him and look up to him it sound like he that sound like he got a little thing sound like he got a he ought to look some some is little something is little that just that don't really I just I've I just never heard a man I just can't understand a man saying he wanted a woman to admire him and look up to him it's like okay be amazing then if you're amazing she gonna she gonna admire you but if you just average and you got to ask for admiration then you might not be amazing enough that don't make no sense to me right now Monique God bless you and that's what you got to realize a lot of people got a microphone that shouldn't have now I still haven't gotten over my two-year relationship and it's been six months he was really a great guy we broke up because I wanted him to call me every day and he said I can call him too and he was right you know the there's a ratio that I teach my clients is three to one a man should initiate and a man should pursue but you got to understand that a relationship goes both ways but the problem is y'all get online and y'all start listening to these baddie boppers you start listening to the fake femininity coaches instead of the real femininity coaches and you start listening to Jezebel spirits and nobody no human wants to just deposit deposit deposit deposit deposit and never get a withdrawal so a man should pursue you and he should reach out to you and call you but you also have to have a ratio I call it a three to one ratio and this is something that I made up and it's not an exact science but basically it's saying a man we're going we should reach out we should lead with that hey how you doing but after we do that Monday Tuesday Wednesday on Thursday if you like the man you should reach out hey how are you and now it just it get it tells him oh she's into me too you can't just a relationship go both ways so you can't just always be the one getting served and getting chased and getting loved and you're not reciprocating and but two years and that's what y'all broke up over that that right does real weird that's real petty and childish now after two years and y'all should have had better communication that and you should have been more mature than to know that if it's different of really a man pursuing you to where he's the only one calling that's like the first month so that you really know but two years in that's now about your husband like you you should be able to you should be reaching out to him any and every time you thinking of him when you two years in so that just comes from you not knowing any better and not having a relationship coach a life coach in your life to teach you how you're supposed to interact with me because yeah yeah you dropped the ball bad on that one me personally it's been six months you still ain't over and he was a good guy too he he ran you off he do not to you on this one right here you might need to swallow your pride and go back and say hey you know I realized I was wrong and I want to know if we can give it another shot because yeah you were listening to the you and then I'm gonna tell you and look at you with my good eye the way I know you were listening to the wrong one because for one your mama played too much by putting them two ease on your last name to that other name you got on the E money that's a that's another name that play too much and then you got a red hair that red hair and it looked like you got blue eyes blue contacts you know a color contacts and a little eyebrows and then you got that that face of makeup on there that foundation and and you got that little gloss on there yeah you play too much yeah you play too much you want to sit over there and be serve listen you got on this you got on the city girl you got on the city girl uh starter kid you can't you can't spend no man to be chasing you when you got this city girl starter kid on ah now if you had black hair yeah all right might could get you a call every day two years in red hair you're gonna have to make a phone call so we're gonna have to make a phone call now i'm gonna tell y'all now don't y'all don't y'all ask me no questions y'all don't want to answer to it now don't ask no quick go retract your question y'all don't want to answer to it I feel like men treat you right when you treat them like a non-factor but the moment you reciprocate interest let your guard down they make a complete 180 seems like men like women who treat them horribly uh mr a gentler y'all got some names on y'all now god bless you now you pretty much right you pretty much right that's why i try to tell women like you need to let the man lead in love meaning let him show love now but when you reciprocate you can't reciprocate too much now you can't you can't do too much especially before he your husband because a lot of men know how to court a woman know how to wine and dine but most men don't know how to receive love so to be honest with you that's something that you almost need to talk about with a man something you almost got to talk about and you almost got to be like a you know one thing i've noticed is that men know how to chase a woman pursue a woman so-called love a woman but then when the love is reciprocated a man changes have you realized that have you ever been guilty of that sometimes you got to bring it to the forefront and talk about it because that is right but see the thing about it too though is sometimes a woman will reciprocate a man drizzle of love with her tsunami of love if a man drizzle you with love you got to drizzle him with love so meaning if he buy you a power nikes that costs a hundred and fifty dollars don't go buy him a power valenciagos that costs six hundred dollars and that's what women do is sometimes women so desperate to love that y'all do like these women do online well you see these women online and they they get a man a stack of cash the woman got rose petals all on the flow she got candles all on everything she he got a stack of cash he got a new Gucci belt he got Gucci shoes he got a Gucci hat and this is a boyfriend and she recorded and then put it online and think she finna get some cool points but really all she get is full points and and that man probably got that that same woman probably got one gift for that man on her birthday that man probably got her gift card the apple bees and then she go and get him all it got him Gucci down and then she'll post it online because she thinks you finna get clout and get praised and then she cries herself to sleep because when her birthday come he got a balloon and a card and told her he down on his luck right now his money ain't where he wanted to be right now and that's why he ain't able to propose to her yet either but yet she's winning bought out the whole mall for him so that's the other thing when a man do that 180 a lot of times it's because you're doing too much and and you you given too much and then also when a man do a 180 that mean that he's not the one for you not the one for him and you need to move on with your life y'all gotta forgive my wife cinema tiktok she'd be sitting below funny tiktok so i could tell by her caption i already know what what the laugh and the bee if a military veteran of 21 years with severe ptsd never take medication and become like a grown boy nurses is that marriage is that marriage they're basically they're in basically over um letries we pretty much you know could say we know the answer but with that you need to go i want you to go sit down with a psychiatrist you know or like a psychotherapist or a therapist you know in general and because what you have to realize is us as non-clinicians we are not allowed to talk about and touch on diagnosis so ptsd is a diagnosis narcissists is a diagnosis so the although we can infer and read between the lines it would be wrong of me to speak on something that i'm not trained on and give you the wrong insight and also when it comes to marriage you you always want to go through counseling therapy before you call it quiz because it's a coveted you mentioned before in a previous video a man will never marry the woman he doesn't love no sister i ain't say that now you might have heard that wrong would you say jesus love genie my a guy marrying for a come up is crazy i ain't say that probably heard me wrong i said i probably said a man will marry a man will marry a woman he doesn't love now what i said is a man will never leave a woman he loves but men get married every day to women they don't love and the reason why men get married every day to women they don't love is because i would say 80 to 90 percent of black men never fall in love unfortunately but you also got to think about it how can a person fall in love when all they've known is hate and pain and trauma and a lot of times black women from those same environments don't fall in love either they call it love but it's really codependency it's really codependency and so we don't realize that though but yes a man marry every day for a come up and i'm gonna tell you if taylor swift came and shot her shot at me i'm a really struggle i'm gonna tell y'all now and i know women don't like to hit that i know y'all want to be lied to and 99.9 percent of men gonna lie to y'all on that right there but i told my wife a long time ago i'll say baby there's two women that i might consider cheating with that's Oprah and Beyonce and you know why i said that just for the money just for the money because see i'm gonna tell y'all and see we have to pray on this and we got this we got to pray through this so what you have to realize is that it's one thing that men love more than sex that's money it's unfortunate but that is the one thing men love more than sex is money money so i'm telling you hey god bless you now beauty by crystal god bless you so me knowing that i really appreciate that blessing look at beauty by crystal lord bless her lord life lord open one of the heaven more fresh down shaking together and running over that's a step out there on faith and bless me see me knowing that i have to be aware of that you got to know see a lot of times a man or lie by it and and ignore his temptations and ignore his weaknesses and didn't come up on you so actually when i said that to my wife years ago she said don't say that she said don't say that because you never know she said you might end up being beyond say life coach one day i say well you know what i actually hope because i know i would i know i wouldn't do it so but i said i actually hope the devil think that i will do it so that i do get the coach and then instead of having to try to cheat for some money i just know i could charge them five thousand dollars an hour five thousand an hour i'm tired up just real busy but i'm gonna tell y'all right now if y'all didn't know that that's why i try to tell y'all ladies like listen judge a man by his character now and so all the Atlanta people they talk about how much property jesus owned and how much money he got and all that which that all may be very well true that all may be true but it don't but it's still connections and come ups and experiences you can have when you marry certain type of women in certain circles it's a certain look and then some men they'll do it just for the publicity why do men ask about how dating has been for me in my city it's just conversation but it's also something just to see if you desperate just to see if you desperate it might be a question he heard on a podcast what is the point of a man telling the woman he is dating about his ex's calling or other women trying to get at him that means that he's insecure means that he's insecure and he wants you to think that he is more than he is not male you didn't put three questions in here in the road now you need a coaching session now you don't he'll take advantage of the q and a you need a coaching session now you need to cut a check q and a for that now you either cut a check you need to be up there with beauty by crystal sending the donation now oh no thoughts on men who spend years on dating apps but remain single that's what i might teach a class on this saturday but my son want to go to one of these college games so i might teach it not saturday i might teach a sunday on i'm a i need to teach y'all ladies but i need to do this behind the pay wall because i'm going to be stepping on toes and offending people i need to teach y'all about the type of men on dating apps because for some reason y'all women do not believe me y'all do not believe me men know men men know men and it's only one or two types of men that's on a date now and so that right there what you just said that say it all that say it all thank you the assistant oh good evening tony thoughts on tp saying if a man only pays a water bill that's okay or lee asked it i don't know if i did a video on that and i don't know how much i could say on it because i'm trying to probably be a life coach or a therapist and want a tyler pair of movies but what tyler was talking about he he got beside himself and i'm gonna tell y'all the Freudian slip that tyler made tyler water bill is probably two thousand dollars a month so when he said water bill i think tyler forgot that a lot of water people water bill might be a hundred two hundred dollars and i'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but the other thing is is tyler also is he more feminine than masculine so he also meaning he he gone more side with the man than the woman meaning he more so want to see the man point of view than the woman and that come from him being a feminine male it's different than being a feminine woman when you are feminine male you're kind of gonna take up more for the man but and also that also let me know that tyler has never been broke and in a relationship with a woman where he was with that woman like really in the relationship with the woman i think he was pretty much single when he started sleeping in his car and then started doing the plays and doing the stage plays and doing the stage play tours i don't think tyler has ever been broke and in a relationship when a man is broke we are next to incapable to being able to be dealt with when we broke we stressed out my uncle in prison and be stressed when he broke and ain't got no light bill it's like yeah he in prison ain't got to pay a single bill and he'd be stressed when he broke so imagine a man in the real world man we punching holes in walls that man might be putting hands on her you never want to be with a man that is broke busted and disgusted because tyler was saying oh you know if he treats you right if he love you if he dissing that and all he could pay is a light bill well he doesn't realize because he's not a relationship code is that type of man does not exist that it that type jesus christ didn't even do that because he wasn't jesus ain't even getting no relationship and so a man that is going to be nice and kind and loving and all he could do is pay a light bill that's a man that's using you if a man is nice and kind a man ought to be mad if all he could do is pay a light bill he ought to be mad with himself because mike donalds is hiring wal-mart warehouse is hiring public warehouse is hiring the cdl is hiring so a man ought to be mad he ought to be ticked off if all he could pay is a light bill and you don't never want no man that only could pay no light bill tell you that nah that man finna drive you crazy there better than how you poppin peel if all he could pay is a light bill what has happened in a man's life for him to make the switch and start improving his character and walking in his purpose seem like lots of men grow old never mentally growing up tipping when a man make that switch is after he hit rock bottom after he hit rock bottom or he meet a woman that will not allow him to settle for being less than his best one or two thing hey i'm not a comedian but i do want to start i'm i'm looking for oh my goodness look at him man see this is why i be trying this is why i try to tell you man i asked my wife help me find a venue she found now venue and that's what people be talking about why you don't do this and do that which why listen man my wife focused on the household she focused on the household she focused on our kids and you know what i have to remind myself that's that's if she happy doing that that's exactly where i want her to be because i told my wife i said babe i want to start doing a talks with tony so what we're doing right here do this live in person but in the comedy clubs because they have the food and drinks already in there and so y'all write the comedy club in your city and get the rate if they don't write you back go up there and talk to the salesperson and say hey tony gaskins want to rent out one of y'all empty nights what's the rate how y'all do it y'all get the bar and the food and he get the dough tickets and then y'all email in and let me know what they say or if one of y'all is a comedian watching this and you got one of them agents out there in LA that be booking the venue for me y'all give me a call let me know because it just be way better than using the uh oh lord i told wife i'm on live she didn't send me another tiktok somebody get off this this little live so i can only hear tiktok she sent it yes yeah keep that jet blight keep that jet blight i'ma try to tell you now when y'all go to red and y'all go to blue and y'all go to purple and you're not married you putting yourself in a little hole that's this big because i'ma tell y'all i'ma tell you and i'ma be honest with you as a man colored hair we see colored hair that is really far from what your natural hair could do we see it as you from the hood it says it's it's giving section eight i hate to tell y'all that i hate to tell y'all that it's giving small town with one red light hate to tell y'all that i hate to tell y'all that man i'm gonna tell i wish i could lie to you man i want a lot to you i want a lot to you we need more people like this right here like joy you need more people like that now need more people like that right now let me see started right again i live with red how now i ain't calling you get on now you got laid right now started right again i just want to clarify he asked me to get my hair red oh it isn't red anymore thank you for that bite now i can't remember what your first question was oh he oh you he you wanted him to call you every day he said you could call him too he told you to get it your hair red that's old freak down that's old freak down because y'all gotta remember charlotte baltimore had her hair red and then so you change your hair color for the man and you damage in your roots and your ends for the man and you won't even call them come on out sister that don't go together now i wouldn't be damaging my health i wouldn't be damaging my health for a man that i won't even call now come on now come on now this is the question i want y'all to ask y'all so the question i want y'all to ask y'all so can you speak on women with mommy and daddy issues my mom can be emotionally detached from me at times my dad was when i was two years old i noticed i date emotionally detached men so that's a therapy question that's a therapy question that's deeper than life and relationship coaching because you're dealing with some some that type of thing you need a treatment plan and that's what therapists have life coach can make one but when you're dealing with things like abandonment things like avoidance and detachment that's that's therapy that's therapy and so i want y'all to understand is that i want y'all to realize in this that i'm not a know-it-all i'm not a i don't i've never called myself a guru or expert yeah i could throw my two cents out there but i don't throw my two cents where ain't qualified to throw it especially not out here on public like we was having a private conversation i could give a little more insight but out here they're waiting on me to slip up they're waiting to charge me with practicing as a therapist without a license that's what the devil won't so y'all can't ask me y'all can't ask me therapy questions now but i i get it a lot of people don't know the difference between therapy and life coach it because a lot of people write in hey tony can i sign up for counseling i have to tell them i don't do counseling i'm a coach uh twalla god bless you now god bless you hey tony is pre-automatic can he change any human could change now but is that worth it because the next one might be the last one the next one might be the one to take you out that's another question yeah taylor swift nah that amount of money i've been about to ask my wife i was about to ask one i was like baby not listening but be now coming out and try to holler at me will you give me the authorization to just shoot a little game just to get me a couple of investments and then i'm gonna come back to you and she said well if you give me me the ability if i be now come talk to me and i said yeah you can't sleep with him now but yeah if you give your investment and bring some of that money back on over here hey but i'm just seriously almost joking i really don't know and that's why i'm praying to lord don't try me like that lord please don't let the devil try me because i might be the lost it all man i might be the ruin my whole brand of being now come holler at me man i got two mini dreams i'm trying to get off the ground now if the lord taking gone bless me come on lord you know what i'm trying to get off the ground lord but no i know i wouldn't be able to do it i wouldn't be able to do it if some people that take me serious but if you if you knew here then you uh oh he said on line he gonna cheat on hit white it's like if you think i really gonna do that you think i'll say that on on on live in public but that's how to that's how the devil be working somebody say wow okay well relish i hope beyond saying watching this do y'all know beyond say watch these lives and over watch these lives beyond over watch these lives now y'all got to realize it's you too it's you too they all here oh yeah yeah i'm gonna let y'all say it just in case they come over here with an investment if they come on here with an investment does the bible say the wealth of the wicked is stored up for the righteous now ain't calling y'all wicked now y'all tell them no i'm just i'm just no no i wouldn't be able to do it i done told i when i'm talking to men realistically i tell them i say if i walked into my hotel room and a woman on Beyonce level was on the bed naked i give her her clothes and help her out my room and that's what i really mean but at the same time the bible say wherever there is temptation there will be a way of escape so when you really walking with the lord the lord gonna show you your weakness so you could devise your plan of escape before it ever comes upon you because the bible say god tempts no man and whatever you are tempted there will be a way of escape so that's why i talk about that and that's why i analyze that because if i don't if it happened it'll catch me off guard like it's catching some of y'all pastors off guard so you've seen some of y'all pastors when they met a woman they was married and when they met a woman who had a bigger name more fame and more money than their wife they divorced their wife and they went to that woman with money and fame you've you've had pastors do that we've had music artists do that we've had actors do that we've had athletes do that and then if you look around in your own city you're gonna be able to identify men who have done that to their wife they met a woman who got a better job or a bigger name or more money or come from a better family and they lead a wife for this woman who got more and so that's why i actually process those things so that when it happened i'm ready for it can a man be in love with his best friend but not want to be with his best friend because she can't do nothing for him yes a man and see the thing about it now it's not in love but a man could have a deep love for his best friend and a man will have a deep love for his best friend but he might not want to be with his best friend because she's not attractive to him or he actually likes men that's the two reasons why a man won't be with his best friend that he loves because she's not attractive to him or he like men it's always hope it's always hope but you got to know the reality in order to understand hope hi tony i recall you mentioned your kids attending a predominantly white school what has been your biggest challenge and what advice would you give to someone in a similar situation the biggest challenge has been when teachers have a little racism in them and a little prejudice in them the kids these days the kids are they so removed from slavery they if they hear like little racist jokes and stuff from their grandparents or somebody like that but my sons don't deal with you know skin color issues like they don't deal with that right there with their friends in a real in a real way there's been little jokes and stuff over the years but they also have their own little jokes and so the biggest problem has been like we actually had a problem with a black teacher who was giving preferential treatment to the wealthy white kids but then taking out her anger and frustration on our son because he black so she felt like she she know him and it's like how we sometimes are meaner to our siblings than we are to our friends and we meaner to our parents than we are to somebody else parents and we give somebody else parents the respect we should be given our parents and then we give our friends the respect we should be given our spouse or our siblings and so that's how it is sometimes with my son being in a predominantly white sport he get treated worse by black coaches than white coaches in a predominantly white school he'll get treated worse by black teachers than white teachers because they feel like oh we got a connection so I could be you you skin folk you can folk I could be extremely hard on you but I got a tiptoe with them over there and so that was one of the shocking things that happened and then just teachers the when white teachers don't they're not accustomed to a child of color being confident that'll have them that'll have some of the white teachers just thrown off if they come from like confederate flags or they come from a place where they used to blacks being illiterate or unlearned or less knowledgeable and more insecure sometimes certain white teachers who come from that they vary taken aback by a loud confident assertive black child but as soon as you read them they writes and you let them know that you're not playing they get it together welcome to the new members I ain't got too much longer y'all I'm gonna let her tell you since I won't be telling you I'm ready to get my first condo in another city will the process be difficult I don't know how to go about looking for a condo no the process won't be difficult process won't be difficult because when you go and look at the condos on like Zillow and realtor and all that it got a score on it it'll show you the walkability score it'll show you the school zone score so you want to get the high score and then you also want to go visit and walk around and look around too because sometimes the inside pictures are tricky and another thing too is don't buy nothing right now you want to condo don't buy the condo right now unless you okay with this 8 plus interest rate but it's all right the rent for a year prices might not go down but it pretty much can't go up from here where we at so I'll be don't let nobody make you feel guilty about renting a lot of people always feel guilty about renting talking about the American dream listen man list I almost lost my first house of a property taxes so you could buy something you still don't own it so you lose your job you could be done paid off the whole mortgage you lose your job and you can't pay the property taxes they'll take that howl right from you now watch your video this morning about ungrateful people and no longer dealing and giving to those types of people in your life do you tell them why you decided to no longer be friends or just stop speaking to them it's up to your personality it's up to you you know I remember a guy he was writing me and he would just write me just like weird stuff like it'll just be like hey you better answer my text message you know how you're gonna go and post online and you ain't answer my text message and one and I didn't even know the dude never even met dude in person and one day I wrote him on like bro I met you from online I said bro don't you ever in your life write me talking to me like that you're not my girlfriend or my wife don't be writing me checking me I'm a grown man I told him that right now and I never spoke to him again I never answered another text message again I just let him know like bro what you think this is bro talking to me like I'm your child so it just depends on your personality see didn't me that's my personality I'm gonna tell you how I feel but if that's not your personality when you stop answering them you start ignoring them they're gonna get the hint they're gonna get the hint same guy that I mentioned earlier had an old picture of me in their phone with my old phone number but he's been married is that weird yeah yeah it's God hiding me I asked him to only send my husband I don't want to date now I'm not getting approached well you ask I'm feeling much more confident these days getting no attention not even to turn down well you ask God and gay what you asked for God and gay what you asked for but that's not that you know it could be a couple of other factors in there because a lot of men not approaching these days I found that when I call a man out for trying to manipulate me they respond by projecting their past relationship issues why is that mm-hmm that's because most people don't heal before they deal more people don't heal and that's why they still trying you like they try you because they ain't learned from their past I found that when I call a man out for trying to manipulate me that's the same question I just asked she put in there two times see that's a y'all know I ain't pre-reneed question I'm just we coming right flowing with the spirit I let go of a grown boy and have been abstinent for 16 months trusting God to send my husband leaving it in his hands it's God testing me I'm now getting approached by married men what do you think so now in the last message you want to get an approach now you're getting approached by married men so you either lie or need a coaching session sound like you're gonna say what coaching session closed I closed I forgot to tell you I closed my coaching session on September 30 so the only people I'm working with for the rest of the years people who already did a coaching session earlier in the year already did a session this year what are your thoughts on keeping your options open how can you really get to know someone when your attention is not fully on one person during the talking and dating phase you have to go based on your personality so if you need to be completely focused on one person then do that not everybody has that type of personality so keeping your options open does not mean that you're sleeping with multiple people keeping your options open means that if a guy approaches you and asks you for your phone number and you give him your phone number and y'all is y'all texting and y'all talking on the phone and then you go out and another guy approach you and ask you for your phone number and you give him your phone number and you equally as interested in how he looks and how he sounds and how he dressed then you talk into him on text message and on the phone too so you may talk to one guy from seven to eight p.m then you talk to the other guy from eight to nine p.m and then you're done for the night and what's happening is like a it's like a horse race and this is the thing that men do with women that women don't often do with men but men put women in a race and eventually one woman gonna start to fall back and then the woman who take the lead that's who the man end up being with so men who have the the ability to do that so if you got the ability to have options you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket until you know in your heart that this your husband and like he asked you can we be exclusive will you be my girlfriend will you be my woman then if you feel like he could be the one that's when you cut everybody else off but until that time happens you got 24 hours in a date so you're not talking to somebody for 24 hours it don't take more than an hour a day to get to know somebody i'm not envious slash jealous but wow even while i'm working on my three bs the competition is crazy i cannot compete with these ladies and the male gays any advice yeah yeah yeah some stuff i don't know but it's not as crazy as you think it is you've got to keep working on yourself keep putting your best foot forward you may need to work with you know like an image consultant or something of that nature but a lot of times women think women are cuter than they are it's a lot of women that my wife will be like oh she's pretty and i'll be like no she is not so that's why when i was talking about the other day when i'll talk about remin ma and pat poose a lot of women came in that time i remin ma is beautiful remin ma is beautiful and it's like yeah she she okay looking like she she pretty with all that with all that makeup on and you know late front and all that but she's not nothing the right home about it ain't somebody you finna rush to your mama but women look at a woman if you don't want to marry a woman then you don't see what a man see so a lot of times it's women y'all looking at other women and y'all giving the woman a whole lot more credit and we do that as men like i could look at a man and me not being able to judge a man the way a woman can the guy might look like a handsome guy to me but i may ask a woman they'd be like oh he all right he he decent but that's just because i'm just looking at him surface level because i'm not attracted to men i'm not finna marry no man i'm not finna date no man so i can't see him the way a woman could see him and vice versa a lot of women think that y'all could see a woman the way a man could see a woman and you can't so really the competition is not really all that where a when it looked like it's natural you okay when it looked like it natural you okay made sense my boyfriend was like why you want red hair you trying to get seen yeah you definitely gonna get seen you definitely gonna get seen y'all not neutral yeah neutral color why men over the age of 30 can't communicate their emotions or feelings communicate their emotions or feelings when you give them the room to do so they can they can it's just that sometimes you have to ignore a man to get him to open up a lot of time when you give a man a room to do so and it's like you like hey talk to me you know i'm here i'm listening you giving him attention so the more he be quiet the more you ask him the more attention you giving him sometime when you just ignore him that's when he'll come on out and say what's on his mind so a lot of times the man giving you the silent treatment is attention seeking behavior and you got to understand that ton I recently stopped seeing a man who treated me well with respect but didn't share my same faith your your thoughts you did the right thing you did the right thing because your faith is your foundation and you build on a foundation yes it'll be recorded so you can access it later thank y'all to the new members I know this unsaved guys will ask me out but men of God would it I'm introverted and kind of awkward but still get asked out godly men don't pay me attention though any thoughts as to why any advice well you might be it sound like you in protective custody by god so what that mean is god ain't release his man to come and approach you but the devil doesn't release his men to come and approach you to take you off your godly walk so the men who are ungodly they come in to get you out your walk with god to get you on your back because a lot of so-called Christian women fall in the bed in fornication with a man who is not a man of God and they get and those men they they take pride in that I don't heard rappers say you know doing such and such with the pastor daughter or doing such and such with a Christian woman like the devil take pride in knocking off Christians so when you say that you love the Lord you gotta make sure that you gonna walk all the way right because the one person that you slip and you fall into sin with you just gave them a testimony that the power of God is not real so when we say and that's what we don't realize and that's why we pay such a great price and that's why blood is on our hands and that's why I say to myself I think that all I think about that myself all the time I could go out here and find a woman who will be okay being a secret and being quiet if I'm gonna take care of her but guess what to that one woman her blood will be on my hands because I'm showing her that the power of God is not real in my life so now I'm sending her to Satan because she can't believe in God if I claim to be a man of God and not living by the teachings of God and that's what so-called men of God don't realize and that's why I don't play with it so right now right now God got you in protective custody and I could tell by your picture your man is your husband is rare your husband not know everyday man because how you got that how late and how you got that natural look to you and you just got the natural you know the natural black beauty men a man got to be mature a man got to be walking with God a man got to be a man who is not into pornography see the ungodly men they come in to get you because you look classy you look like the girl next door you look like a woman of God so they want to come knock y'all the men of God they're not going to come to they ready to get married because they don't want to knock you off your power field if they know all the way on they pal God bless you last question I reach out and he doesn't this you said in the video you don't believe in soul mates but I think he is the one in hindsight maybe say he doesn't want this in hindsight the phone thing was stupid I just wasn't comfortable yeah it sounds like you think he's the one sister because you never really knew him that's all it is all you know is his representative and that's how he could move on so easily after two years you he never showed you the full him which is very common it's very common for men to do a lot of women don't know the real man until like five years in as very common men have a poker face and we we have that because we also are bred and built to be killers to be warriors to be soldiers in the army so you can't be so expressive and so open and so vulnerable if you also built for war physical war but the problem with being built for physical war sometimes we don't develop what we need for spiritual war but that's a whole another lesson in itself I found that when I call a man out for trying to okay this is the post this question 99 time do you think it's a good idea to be a life coach on youtube and a makeup artist too yeah you could do a you could be a life coach or makeup artist so what you ought to do is you do makeup and you do the different looks but why are you doing but why are you doing it after you say what you're using for foundation and for blush and for all of that you teaching on a lesson and so you you merge the two and you say hey today's lesson is on self love and I'm going to show you this this classic look and then you do the look but you talking about self love and so you could do both you just got to you know so have you considered doing the video responses to email questions advice again uh yes for your long form questions where you're telling the whole story you got to email it to inbox at tonigaskins.com i n b o x at tonigaskins.com this app i'm on here don't show me likes okay i'll see no y'all don't want the truth but when i tell y'all the truth then y'all go to losing hope so i can't tell you the whole truth whole truth only for coaching calls at the end time i tell y'all the whole truth y'all any advice on taking the leap of faith and going for a dream and freelancing slash content creation i have a full-time job but i'm being called or more i'm a sister but what you got to realize is that's not a leap of faith see a leap of faith is when you've been the leap to do god work freelancing and content creation ain't got nothing to do with god so that that's a leap a leap of folly that's a leap of fun that's a leap of freelancing so and before you take that leap you need to have a year worth of your job salary saved up to get you cushioned while you build your brand you also got to have marketing dollars so when you come to somebody with a brand we easily can shout you out through paid marketing and get you a a list of clients a book of clients but you got to have the money for that because somebody who done took years and years to build a brand they're not going to just promote you for free so you got to have your ducks in a row and if you got that then you'll be all right how should i deal with me and constantly trying to sleep with me in the workplace i've been in the entertainment business since i was 18 it doesn't seem to get any easier i'ma tell you the more you turn them down the more you gonna get from them at first some man gonna try to act like they're gonna cut you off or they're gonna talk bad about you they're gonna do whatever but when a man when you finally get that man respect that man gonna tell everybody in the industry about you he gonna start getting new jobs trying to court you so stick to it stick to it just keep side stepping hey god bless y'all i got to go the question is still some more in there i couldn't get to all of them rosemary god bless you i see you right there rosemary god bless you my son about to get out of practice so i need to go ahead and wind up wind down whatever you call it let me see i tried to get most of them but when i don't have a coaching call while my son practice i try to do these lives when i'm in here when i'm when i'm in my mobile office i'm in my mobile office but um god bless y'all and october 14 the book publishing boot camp hope to see you on there god bless you we'll talk soon