 My name is Sandak Nin and I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism-Revisited. Normal people are likely to welcome a moderate amount of attention, both verbal and non-verbal, in the form of affirmation, approval or even admiration. But too much attention is perceived as onerous and to be avoided. Destructive and negative criticism is avoided altogether. The Narcissist in contrast is the mental equivalent of an alcoholic. He is insatiable. He directs his whole being, his whole behavior, in fact his life, to obtaining these pleasurable tidbits of attention. He embeds these into a coherent, completely biased picture of himself. He uses them to regulate his labile sense, self-worth, self-esteem. To elicit this constant interest, this flood of attention, the Narcissist projects onto others a confabulated, fictitious version of himself, known as the false self. The false self is simply everything that the Narcissist is not and would have liked to be. The false self is omniscient, knows everything, it's omnipotent, it's all powerful, it's charming, it's intelligent, it's brilliant, it's rich, it's well-connected and so on. When constructed the false self, having projected it, the Narcissist then proceeds to harvest reactions to this projected image from family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, business partners, colleagues and even passers-by. If these reactions, the adulation, admiration, attention, fear, respect, applause, affirmation, if these are not forthcoming, the Narcissist demands them or extorts them from others. Money, compliments, a favorable critique, an appearance in the media, a sexual conquest are all converted into the same currency in the Narcissist's mind. And it is this currency that I call Narcissistic supply. But what happens if the supply is negative? What happens if the outcome of the projection of a false self garter is negative, Narcissistic supply, attention but negative? What happens if the Narcissist is instead of being loved, being feared? What happens if he's criticized? What happens if he's belittled, demeaned, debased, chastised? All these negative inputs. So under normal circumstances, the Narcissists will rage and will eliminate or deny these inputs from his mind. He will negate, obviate or depreciate the sources of such negative supply. But when positive supply is scarce or nowhere to be found, even negative supply can become Narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply includes all forms of attention, both positive and negative, fame and notoriety, adulation and fear, applause and approval and derision. Whenever the Narcissist gets attention, whether positive or negative, whenever he is in the limelight at the center of attention, it constitutes Narcissistic supply. If he can manipulate people or influence them, either positively or negatively, it qualifies as Narcissistic supply. Of course, a Narcissist prefers positive input, he prefers positive Narcissistic supply. But worse comes to worse, negative supply would do. Even quarreling with people and confronting them constitute Narcissistic supply, perhaps not the conflict itself but the Narcissist's ability to influence other people, to make them feel the way he wants, to manipulate them, to make them like hell, to make them do something or refrain from doing something, all these count as forms of Narcissistic supply and this is hence the phenomenon of serial litigators. But negative supply should be distinguished from low grade supply and faith supply. Low grade Narcissistic supply comes from sources which the Narcissist cannot idealize, sources that cannot be idealized, no matter how hard the Narcissist tries and to what extent he blocks out and denies reality and countervailing input. No matter what he does, no matter how hard he works, he cannot idealize certain sources. The type of Narcissistic supply determines whether its source can be idealized or not. For instance, if the Narcissist receives compliments on his intellectual achievements, but the source of these compliments is an intellectually challenged, not to say retarded person, this kind of supply would not pass master and would never qualify as Narcissistic supply. A retarded or intellectually challenged person cannot compliment the Narcissist on his intellectual achievements because the Narcissist regards him as not qualified, regards this source as not qualified to do so. It's a low grade source with a low grade supply. Faith Narcissistic supply is tinged with ulterior motives and hidden agendas. Sources of faith supply compliment the Narcissist in order to manipulate him to do something or to manipulate some other third person or in order to accomplish some goal. Endowed with cold empathy, the Narcissist picks up on these true motivations and he feels injured and slighted and humiliated. Many Narcissists test their sources of supply repeatedly. The engineer situations intended to expose the sincerity or lack thereof of the supply source and the consistency and authenticity of the sources' contact. All in all, would we say that the Narcissist wants to be liked? Not really, it's not about liking. It's about attention. Would you wish to be liked by your television set or refrigerator? To the Narcissist people are near tools akin to television sets and refrigerators. They are objects, sources of supply. If in order to secure this supply, the Narcissist must be liked by them, he acts likeable, empathetic, helpful, collegial, friendly. If the only way to garner Narcissistic supply is to be feared, the Narcissist makes sure that they fear him. He does not really care either way as long as he is being attended to. Whether in the form of fame or infamy is what it's all about. Narcissist's world revolves around this constant mirroring, this constant craving, I am seen and therefore I exist, he thinks to himself. But the classic Narcissist also craves punishment. His actions are aimed to elicit social opprobring and sanctions. His life is a Kafkaist ongoing trial and the never-ending proceedings are in themselves a punishment. Being penalized, reprimanded, incarcerated, abandoned, serve to vindicate and validate the internal damning voices of the Narcissist's sadistic, ideal and immature superego. His voices were actually the voices of his parents, cave givers and peers or role-wounds. These voices judged him and found him wanting. And then the Narcissist at an early age internalized, introjected these voices and became part of him. So, being punished confirms the Narcissist's view of himself as worthless. Now misunderstand me, consciously the Narcissist firmly believes in his superiority, invincibility, brilliance, power but unconsciously, deep down there, he was told and he came to believe that he is worthless. Punishment relieves him from the inner conflict that he endures when he is successful, the conflict between the knowing feelings of guilt, anxiety and shame and the need to relentlessly secure Narcissist's supply. So easy nor is it fun to be a Narcissist, it would seem.