 When the narcissist sees you're doing better without them, when they see that you've moved on, and you're living a happier and healthier life, they see that you're looking good, you're dressing smart, living well, making lots of money, and then suddenly you run into them. They see you looking happier, looking healthier, looking good, and you may think that they didn't notice you. You may think that there were more significant things going on in their minds, but I can assure you that they did notice. They could see that you had built yourself back up again from the pieces that they left behind. They could see that you had finally found happiness and success. They could see that you're doing better now that they're not around, but you don't see this from them. They don't tell you this or show it in their behaviour because narcissists are masters of manipulation. They know how to display an illusion. Just remember when you first met them, they seemed so kind and sweet back then until you uncovered the real person under the mask. It's the same thing now. They are giving you a mistaken impression. They are trying to make you believe that they don't see how much you have evolved since you were with them. They are trying to make you believe that you're still nothing special because that's how they feel about themselves. When you leave a narcissist, their lives deteriorate until they're left with nothing and they wish that they could come back to you, but they don't want to put themselves in that position. They have too much pride and arrogance. They have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance. They think they're so much greater than what they actually are, which is really nothing more than a coping and defence mechanism for how they really feel about themselves. Inside they feel worthless and insignificant. They look at you and the person you've become and they wonder why you would ever be interested in them now. After everything they did to you, after they broke you down and left you in a pit of misery and destruction, narcissists know that they're no good. They know that them being around you isn't going to be any good for you and once you've moved on and done better without them, they assume that you've figured that out too because if they were so great you would have been happy and healthy when you were with them rather than it all coming together once they had left. That suggests that there was something wrong with them. That suggests that they were no good for you but they can't let you know that. They have to continue living in this delusional reality where they are superior to you. When you need them, when really they are the ones who need you. They are the ones who are struggling without you. When the narcissists see that you're doing better without them they're looking at your physical appearance. You look better now. You're taking good care of yourself. You might have more money. These are the things that they're looking at. They never actually see you as a real separate person. They just see you as something that they can use for their own benefit or gain but it's never actually about you as a person. They don't have the capacity to see you in this way. All they can see is something that they can use. Things that belong to you like your body, your home, your money, your car but it's never about sharing anything with you. It's never about connecting with you on a human level because they're not even capable of doing that. They cannot be vulnerable. They will do whatever it takes to avoid exposing any form of vulnerability or weakness and that is why you cannot connect with them because they've abandoned who they really are. That person died a long time ago and all they're left with now is an empty shell. This character who they think people want to see, who they think people find desirable or attractive. They end up around people who see people in the same way that they do as objects that they can use for their own benefit or gain. It's a sad meaningless existence but that's just how narcissists live their lives. When the narcissist sees that you're doing better they wish that they could come back. They would love to partake in everything you have built since they've been gone but there are two reasons why this is something that they're not going to do. They're not going to hoover you because they fear that you will reject them. You're happy and healthy now so why do you need them? That's how they see it but they will never tell you this. They will just act like they're the ones who don't need you no matter how obvious it may be that they are struggling without you. They also cannot come back because when they left you they played the victim. They acted as though being around you put them at risk of danger or harm. They told everyone that someone was wrong with you or you treated them bad. They made you out to be this horrible person so how is it going to look to the flying monkeys? If they try to come back to you in their minds they're going to look like the fools by trying to go back to someone who treated them so unfairly so even though deep down they may want to come back to you they know that they can't. They don't want to put their image or reputation on the line because that's the only thing that really matters to them. How they looked at other people they also fear that if they did come back to you they would have to be held accountable for everything they did to you. They treated you unfairly. They did things to you that they never even answered for and if they left you they did that to dodge responsibility for their actions. Narcissists don't want to deal with responsibility. They're like emotionally immature toddlers that cause damage and destruction in your life and then they leave you to deal with the consequences of their actions so even though they may see that you're doing better without them they're not going to come back. They've got too much pride. They don't want to risk their reputation and they'd feel stupid coming back around you because you've built this whole life without them. You've done better without them which suggests that they're no good. They're incompetent. You're on a different level to them. You deserve better. Once you've had enough time away from your narcissist they begin to wake up and realize that they were never on your level. They were never up to your standards. They realize that someone like them just isn't meant to be with someone like you and that is why when you were with them all they ever did was disrespect you. All they ever did was try to put you beneath them because they were jealous and insecure. They couldn't stand to see you rise above them. It made them feel worthless and insignificant because deep down they always knew that you were meant for something greater. They were just hoping that you wouldn't figure that out but once you come to that realization they know it's too late. They know there's no point coming back around you because they know you're never going to see them in the same way ever again. They know you're never going to see them as special or superior. They know that you're never going to see them in the elevated way that they would like and someone who doesn't validate their false self is completely useless to them. All they care about is their false image. They don't want to deal with the truth or reality of the situation. A narcissist being forced to deal with the truth or reality is like sunlight to a vampire. It causes their false self to dissipate and that is why they will hide. They'll stay ghost because they'd rather live in their fake world than to accept the truth of what they are. At least then they can pretend that they're special. They can pretend that they're superior to you. They can pretend that there's something great. Thank you for watching. I hope this video wears out with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you were likely to donate, my paypal link is in the video description. Coaching and queries, you can email me at narxfathercoaching at gmail.com. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.