 Oh, this is going to be a great sister to sister. Here's the question. What do I do when my kids are acting up in public? And what do I do about a flirty family member? And do I need to forgive myself? Absolutely. See what the sisters think coming up next. So glad that you joined us today. If you've never seen the show before, you are in for a treat. We are five opinionated women of God. And today, I'm very happy to welcome Angela Madden is with us today. She's sitting in for a flow. So I hope you can get a word in edgewise. That's all I'm saying. Me too. The sisters. The sisters. But this question you wrote to us, I'm going to listen. My sister-in-law is a little too flirty with my husband. My sister says it's fine because we're family. But I don't see it that way. How do I approach her, the sister-in-law, or do I do it without causing a family feud? What do I do? Roxy, you're the most balanced. Yeah. I don't flirt. No. That is shocking. That's funny. Maybe any more. Maybe people think I don't know. I got to say this. All right. Where is the husband? Yeah. Right. You know, this is occurring, happening to him. And I want to say this. First Timothy 5 says, treat older men with respect. Treat younger men as brothers. Treat young women as sisters. And older women as mothers with all purity. And men, Psalm Proverbs 7 says, men, make wisdom your sister. Make insight your intimate friend. Don't go looking out the window. In other words, don't go looking at other ladies and don't go walking down their street. So don't go to places where you know women are going to do this. So where are you husband in speaking up and saying, look, I'm a happily married man? It's simple. You know, walk away, make it clear. She's got to first talk to her husband because the Bible says if someone's in sin, you go to that person. So the husband needs to speak up. If the husband doesn't, what do you do? Take two witnesses with you. If you don't, you tell it to whoever, you know, the family to church, what not. So you keep the circle close to address sin. The issue, wow. Flirting is sin. Yeah, wow. I'm sorry, ladies. You know, when you're getting close to somebody else's husband, and I got to talk to this sister-in-law, you got to stop that. Do you want that to happen to you? I agree. When you have a husband, I tell my daughters, you know, like, when you're on the beach or something, you're a young woman, all right, you like that bathing suit. But if you're walking on it, you know, cover up, you're going to be that 50-year-old woman one day. And that husband's going to be sitting on that beach, whatever. How are you going to feel about it? You know, be modest at least when you're walking somewhere and other people see you. That is so good. Okay, wait. I'm really confused here, though. It says sister-in-law. So isn't this his sister? If this is your sister-in-law, this is his sister. Or his brother's wife. No. Yeah. It could be his brother's wife. His brother's wife or his brother-in-law's wife could be your sister-in-law. Right, right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Because I read it, and I was like, I think this wife has some insecurities. Because if this is his sister, I'm like, she has got some. Some insecurities she needs to deal with. And even if it is whatever, brother-in-law, second, third cousin, twice removed, whatever. I think she does need to check. Does she have some insecurities? Because there are women that do get jealous of like literally anything. They're like, that waitress looked at you too long. Like, I do think sometimes you do need to check your jealousy and your insecurity. And I do agree with you that the conversation needs to be with the husband. Because you cannot control every other person in the world. What you can do is have conversations with your spouse. And if there is something that is making you uncomfortable, then it should be the responsibility of the husband to adjust his, whatever he's doing. You need to separate yourself from that person. You need to move, you know, adjust the time you're spending with them. Adjust what situations you're putting yourself into. So I do agree with you there on that part. The other thing was... I say that woman has discernment and instinct and backup buttercup. Yes. In Jesus' name. Yes. That is my guy. And, you know, being pastors, my radars are always like, and it's not insecurity. It's like, I mean, the guy's like, oh, you know, it's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. I need to tell you something. Like I don't act like that to other men. So that's off, you know, so you know those kind of things. So yes. And if someone starts to flirt, you know, you got to back off too. You tell the husband, hey, back away from her when she starts doing whatever, you know. That's why you're a helpmate. Yes. Well, I'm going to go to the next question. That was so good. That was really good. Yeah. Well, we're not going to have much to say. Oh, my God. No, flirting. Yeah, that was good. Why do we not have much to say right now? Okay. Well, pump on this question. How do you handle your child when he or she acts out in public? Amy, I think you're a strict mom. What do you do? I am. I know you are. I'm super generous and super strict. It's a great mix. Okay. I would say what not to do. We called it the blow pop dance. Okay. You're checking out. You're in line. And they're freaking out and you're just like looking around like all for this dumb lollipop. I mean, whatever it is, what you don't do is buy the lollipop to shut the kid up. You just say, everybody, excuse us for a minute. I'm just going to check out. You take this little can in the car, no blow pop, lollipop, nothing. You don't get rewarded for bad behavior. That's simple as that. Oh, wow. She's good. Can I borrow you once in a while? The blow pop goes into the car at 35 years old and the guy's freaking out. It's like, stop it in Jesus' name. Yeah. I like that answer. Can I put a little scripture in here? You know, Romans five says, before the law, sin wasn't held accountable. So what do I mean by that? When the law came, you were accountable. What I did with my kids was I told them what the rules were before you go. You know, they're acting up. They're emotional. Sometimes things are going on. Don't be unreasonable. You go to the store. I expect good behavior. If you don't get good behavior, this is the consequence. And then you have to follow through with the consequence or your word means nothing till the 10 commandments came. God didn't hold people accountable to the 10 commandments because they didn't know what they were. So we have to also give those reasonable requests to the children before you leave the house. If it happens in public, what I want to say is don't correct in public. I have seen the ladies and the swearing at the kids yelling at them. You are going to reap what you sow. Scream at them in front of everybody. Don't embarrass them. They've already embarrassed themselves enough. Do it privately, but follow through with reasonable punishment. Are you strict? I am. And I will say I do address it in public. If it happens, if there's an outburst, I will be very quick to say shut it all the way down. You know better, shut it down. And then that'll be where it is and they'll shut it down because they got the look and the voice. And then when we're in the car, shut it down, I would do it. That scared me. Shut it down. I'm going to write that down. Then I will directly address it. What was wrong with that? And I ask for my kids with the way I parent, I want their feedback. I want you to tell me what was wrong with what happened in there and do we do it again? No. And my daughters know because I have seen some of these girls pop off at their moms in public and the mom does nothing I'm thinking, oh, she's about to tell me. Oh, classes. I'm going. No, it's this chair. It's this chair. This is exactly what Flo would say. I'm telling you, she is going to be so proud of you when she sees this show. Wow. And you're tough, too. I'm glad no one's asking me to respond. My kids say I have this look. I mean, they're older now and they laugh about, oh my gosh, mom's look. Like in church or something, I'll see them and I'll just like give them the look and they're like, they're like, they know the look. But I do have one thing to say. I think we do need to remember we are the adult. They are the children. And we cannot expect adult responses from children. And I think sometimes we do lose that perspective. We expect children to respond like an adult. And they, I mean, they could be tired. They could be, you know, hungry. I mean, you know, as adults, we get angry. Excuse me. And, and we don't respond right when we're hungry. So we need to remember that. All right. Got that. Shut it down now, Corey. That's all I have to say. This question's really good, but I'm going to go. I think you are the youngest on our panel, the youngest, but, but it doesn't matter because anyone could answer this question because we have wisdom. However, the question is, how do you know when you're, when you are ready to have a baby? So someone wrote that to us. So we have young viewers, male viewers, grandma viewers. What do you say? Philippians four, six, everything by prayer. So I take everything to the father in prayer. And second, I think it is really important. And especially as women, I think we can overstep this and just go with cultural norms. Oh, well, you know, we've been married two years. So now it's time for a baby. I, you have to take the journey within. You really have to examine your own heart and where you are in life and what you long for. And are you truly ready to say my schedule, my life is not my own. You know, I think I have a lot of friends and I observe and they feel this pressure. You know, I'm married. I have to have kids. And I need to have a lot of kids because that's a sign of being a good Christian woman, you know, and then they have their first and they weren't ready for it. That's okay. We're never ready. Honey, I've looked at the doctor and I said, are you sure you're gonna let me leave this hospital with this baby? You know what I mean? Even after having it. So we never feel fully ready, but they were truly in a deep sense not ready for motherhood and then felt I'm going to have another and another and they suddenly thought that it would get better. So you really need to take this journey inward and examine what is it that the Lord has for me? Is this the time? Is this the season? Scripture talks a lot about seed time, harvest time, and knowing what season you're in in your life through prayer. Okay. Mother of five, grandmother of several. All right. I've had a few surprise packages. I'm not going to hide it. You are never fully ready. You don't have to have the perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect husband. God says, let me just get Proverbs 10. The Lord's blessing enriches and he adds no sorrow to it. Okay. What's that mean? You do go through, you might go through anxiety, certain things. When my first child was born, I was like, oh my goodness, I am responsible for him for a long time. Yes. I mean, you know, this was okay when I was pregnant and a little sick, but now I'm responsible for a long time. It struck me. You don't feel that responsibility until that happens. And when that overwhelms you, we turn to the rock. He is the guide. He gives the gift. He takes care of the gift. He shows you how to, you got to keep claiming God's blessing adds no sorrow. Will you go through tough times? Yes. But what's it say? Has no regrets. You will not regret it even if you're not ready. Oh well. Mother of many. And you say? I think, agree, you're never ready for a baby. And I think a lot of times people are talking like financially. You're, you're never going to be able to afford to have a kid. Okay. Like let's just throw that on the table. If you're waiting to be able to afford to have a kid, just don't have kids because it's, but there are things you can do to pre, to prepare, to have children. No, not prevent. Prepare. Prepare. There are things you can do to prepare. You can, you can start to eat better. You can start to, you know, exercise and get your body ready. You can, you can start to like pay off debt. If you have debt, you can start. Parenting glasses. You can, yes. There are things you can do to prepare. You can, my husband and I, we got married young. We did things we wanted to do. We traveled, we served because there were things you're not going to be able to do after you have kids. It's just true. Okay. There are things you got to put on hold when you have the kids. Okay. So there are things we did and we talked about and got on the same page about what we wanted to do. How I was going to stay home and raise the kids. That's not for everybody, but we got on the same page about things. That was like the ideal situation. That doesn't happen for everybody and it's okay. Right. Because kids are always a gift from God. Right. You know, I'm thinking about the person who may have written this. Sometimes you do all your traveling and you do this and then it's too late. And then you don't have the gift that God so readily wants to bless us with. Stay there. We'll be right back. Welcome back. You have joined the sisters of sister to sister and we have really good thought provoking questions that came from you by email to us and comes to our desk and now comes out of our heart. So this question is really good and listen to this one. How do I prioritize my relationship with God when there are not enough hours in the day? Right. Husband, kids, work, church, family and Angela, that is you to a T. How do you do it? You make it the priority. Okay. I mean, I think that COVID was a really good example for us all that even when things were shut down, we still found excuses to not work out at our house. We still found excuses to not get after that book we wanted to write and we had a lot more time, you know. So it has to be a priority and I know that's a hard work because I know the busyness of having a baby attached to you and you're working a full-time job and you're running a ministry and all of that but it has to be the priority. So for me in those busy seasons and sometimes they're busier than others, I'll find my place when I'm nursing that baby now that became my sanctuary. So I decide I'm not going to be working on my computer while I've got my baby in my arms. I'm going to take that time and I'm going to pray and I'm going to read my scriptures and I'm going to sing over that baby. We're going to be recognizing as women we are good at multitasking. So there might be a season where it looks more like a multitasking or your secret place, your prayer closet is in your car because you've got an hour drive. That's okay. I think sometimes we get in our minds these ideas that well we have to be pulled away and it has to be my prayer closet at my house and that's the only, well honey when you got 5 kids running and chasing, that's going to be hard to find and when you go there you won't sleep. So figure out within your schedule how to make that the first thing that top priority. Right. Oh, I love that. Amy, you've had to do this. Yeah, it's like in your coming, in your going, when you get up, when you go to sleep, when you rise up. I mean, almost all times, everywhere, I'm getting my makeup on. There's a Rick Renner podcast playing every day. I get in the car. I'm listening to an audiobook. I get this. I watch that message. I listen to the Bible read out loud. It just, you, it's your life. It's your day and you're in charge, you're ridiculously in charge of your own life. So you've got to own it, your relationship with God, and you've got to cultivate it and you make time. Everything else is peripheral to that. If that's off, then your whole world is off. I love it. Girls, you don't compartmentalize your relationship with God either. Your relationship with God should be a part of everything in your life. So it's not like, okay, God, here's the portion of my day that's yours. And now I'm going to work. And now I'm going to, you know, the gym. It's like, God is a part of all of those things. You know, I'm at work and you know, hey God, like you're put, you're here too with me. God is everywhere. He's with me always. He's in the Holy Spirit's inside of me. Like there's not, we're not compartmentalizing him. And I think that that's the part you have to, you know, realize is, and that's the gift in it. He's with me always. And we don't mean to make anyone feel guilty if you're not doing these things. We're here to encourage you with how we handle. That's right. That's right. Yeah. And First Corinthians says, I think what my sister, Corey, is saying is that, and my sisters are saying, do all that you do to the glory of God. First Corinthians 10. Do all that you do to the glory of God. Now, let me get real practical. When I was in law school, a professor said, look, if you want to make it your point, he wanted us to read the classics. You know, he said, I really want you to read the classics. And if you don't do it now with your heavy schedule in law school, I was working part time also, you're never going to do it. So, okay, do I read the classics I go through 10 books? No, maybe one chapter, maybe a reduced version. So there, there's times and circumstances. And let me get real practical about my own life. I had baskets. All right, your clothes are here, your clothes are here, your clothes are here, you're going to fold them. When you're old enough, you're going to wash them. When you're old enough, you're going to cook your breakfast. You know, you need to learn how to delegate and not be supermom. All right. And then your husband also has to share in those responsibilities. Good thing you have the husband you have. Oh, I do. I know. He had George. They cook. They could do it all. Oh, that's right. I know. So, choose wisely, your husband also. I like it. I like it. It's, you know, our hearts are coming right off to you. This last question, Cory, I'm going to come. I think you've had to do this in your life. We know each other really well. And we're told we have to forgive ourselves and move on. But is that biblical, Cory? Absolutely. This is absolutely biblical. I have a verse for this, Colossians 313, bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. The Lord has forgiven you. Forgive yourself. It is biblical. I have had to do this in my life. There was something that I was struggling with in my life. And I was holding on to this. I think that we tend to want, we hold on to this guilt and we want to punish ourselves because we feel like that's the right thing to do. There is no condemnation in the Lord. Another verse Romans 8 1, therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Stop condemning yourself. Stop holding on to the guilt and the shame. Let go of it and forgive yourself. There is so much freedom and forgiveness. Please, yes. Angela, what do you have? I know you have something. Yeah, absolutely. I think that a lot of times people get hung up on this language of, you know, God forgives. Only God can give forgiveness. But like you just said, Cory, we give forgiveness to others. We have to be able to go through the journey within ourselves to receive and accept Christ's forgiveness for us. And those spaces are really important to actually tackle. It's very critical that the places where I've had choices I've made or things that I've done that I regret, I wish I hadn't, that I go through that journey with the Lord to feel and to know I am fully forgiven and made new. Because if I don't, those things will actually dictate my future and my present. Well, think about it. He died so that we would forgive ourselves. So if you don't forgive yourself, it's almost like you're taking his death for granted. It's so important to forgive others and forgive yourself. Amy, what do you have? Satan is the accuser of the brethren. So if you're feeling accused, accused, guilty, like you're on trial with your own life, just know that that is Satan's voice in your life. God's voice, you're going to find forgiveness, grace, love, mercy, and truth. So I would say, wait, who's telling me that? Where's that thought coming from? It's a thought. And you take that thought and you say, yeah, goodbye. Be done with that. And you replace it with the truth of God's word. So how does a person do that? Well, if you're guilty, you're guilty. You say, no. Jesus went to the cross for me. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. So I am guilt-free. I am sin-free today because of the price that Jesus paid for me. And you apply it to your life. And it's like having an annoying little bug in your ear. You know, you're guilty. You're a worthless loser. You'll never make it. You're a sinner. It's like, wait, you're like, look, look unto Jesus, the author, the finisher, the savior, the redeemer of your faith. So I would say, get your eyes off it. Maybe just get your eyes off yourself and get your eyes on him. And get the thought that in your head, I mean, he told us to cast down our anxiety because he has already taken care of it for us. And where do you find that hope? In the Bible. Stay right there. We're going to wrap this up. We always end with a scripture here at Sister to Sister. And today's verse can be found in the Psalms, Psalm nine, verse 10. And those who know your name will put their trust in you. For you, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. The word forsaken means deserted or abandoned. God the Father doesn't abandon those who trust in him. And those who trust in him know his name. The Bible has many names for the Lord, the Comforter, the Great Shepherd, Jehovah, Emmanuel, God with us. One of my favorite stories in the Bible is about Hagar, the handmaiden of Abraham. And when Hagar had Abraham's son, she was sent away by Sarah. She was a unwed teenage mother who was poor to die in the desert with her son. And yet she knew God's name. She called out to God, El Rohai, the God who sees me. And God saw her and did not abandon her. And her son, Ishmael, became the Father of many nations. God sees you today. Call out to him. El Rohai is the same God as the God of thousands of years ago. Call out to him, and he will not abandon you. Wow. I loved that. And I also love this, as iron sharpens iron. So does the countenance of a man or a woman or one of these sisters sharpen the other. So you see, I'm a much better Kathy because of that. See you next time. We are sister to sister.