 transcribed. The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gildersleeve. The Gildersleeve is brought to you each week by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, a name that for years has meant fine cheese, is the maker of the new Kraft Deluxe Slices. These slices of wonderful pasteurized processed cheese are perfect. No dried edges, no broken pieces because they're wrapped right in the spick and span Kraft plant. You'll find Kraft's delicious processed cheese in slices in neat half-pound packages in your grocer's dairy case. Eight big slices in every package. Tomorrow take home several of these convenient packages and get equated with Kraft Deluxe Slices, the most delicious processed cheese you've ever tasted. It's Saturday morning at the Great Gildersleeve's house and is the water commissioner lolling in bed? No, sir, he's up and dressing. My George Saturday's my favorite day. Leroy doesn't have to go to school, Bronco can stay home. I can spend a happy day with my little family. Good day to wear this sports shirt I got for Christmas. Nice. You think I'll leave the shirt tail out, Palm Beach style. You'll just be lounging around the house. Here's that, a bee in January. You know, Birdie's using the vacuum cleaner. Good morning, Birdie. Good morning, Miss Gildersleeve. I'll get you breakfast as soon as I vacuum the hall. Yeah, no hurry, Birdie. Take your time. Miss Marjorie's moving all the furniture around this morning, so I thought it was a good time to vacuum the house. Marjorie's moving furniture, you say? Yes, sir. And Mr. Bronco, don't think she ought to be doing that. That boy's fit to be tied. Well, should she be that active, Birdie? Is she feeling all right? Oh, you don't have to worry about Miss Marjorie. She's feeling fine. Yeah, good. The one we may have to call the doctor for is Mr. Bronco. You're my goodness. That boy's been a bundle of nerves ever since he found out he was gonna be a father. Yes, sir. You think he's gonna be the mother? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what he's so nervous about. Baby isn't due for a month. Yeah, I guess it's natural when he's about to become a father for the first time. Yeah, I'll just have to straighten Bronco out. Well, I guess I won't have to. Look at him sitting on the couch holding hands. Hello. Good morning, Anki. Oh, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. Holding hands, I see. He's only holding him to keep me from rearranging the furniture. Oh. Mr. Gilder-Sleeve, I have a feeling we can expect the baby at any time. Oh, Bronco. Now, Bronco, the doctor said it would be late February. Mr. Gilder-Sleeve, my grandmother always said when a woman starts moving furniture around, look out. The time is close at hand. Yo. Bronco, that's an old wives' day. Well, the wives ought to know. This boy's in bad shape. I can't get Marjorie to listen to me. I'm having a terrible time. Now, Bronco. Who's having a terrible time? I am, Leroy. Yeah, what's your trouble? Maybe I can help you. Leroy, if there's any helping to be done, I'll do it. Okay. Now then, Bronco. Yes, sir. I know you're concerned about Marjorie, and that's all well and good. Hey, how's your shirt tails out? Yeah, I know Leroy. Now, as I was about to say, Bronco. Why don't you tuck it in? Leroy, it's supposed to be out. It's sporty. Yeah? Now, Bronco. You leave your shirt tail out, it's sporty. I leave mine out, it's sloppy. I plant by the piano. I think I'll move it over. No, no, no, you don't, Marjorie. If it has to be moved, I'll move it. But darling, I can move it. No, honey. I'll do it. Well, while you're moving the lamp, I'll move this end table. No. Oop. Marge, don't you touch another thing. Now, Bronco. How to move it? Leroy, I think you better go outside and kick your football. That's the place for adolescence. And Bronco? Yes, sir. Why don't you go with it? Thank you, Anki. She didn't have to fix it for me. Bertie was going through. Well, I wanted to do it. I feel like doing things in my only chances when Bronco's out of the house. Yeah, I understand. It's such a fuss, budget. Well, it's a very natural concern, my dear. I suppose so. Here, I'll clear away the dishes. Yeah, Margie. Sit down a minute and talk to your old look-along. All right. Now then, are you sure you're not overdoing it just a little? Of course not, Anki. I feel wonderful. Yeah, that's good. We're going to take the best possible care of our little girl. Oh, you're sweet, Anki. See, if there's anything at all you want or anything I can do. Are you all right? Okay, honey, if you're sure you're all right. She's all right. Don't worry about Bronco. He may have a nervous breakdown. Well, he does have a wild look in his eye. Can he take him somewhere and get his mind off me? I don't know. Well, there is the Jolly Boys meeting tonight. Oh, why don't you take him? Oh, I don't think he'd enjoy being with us. Besides, he'll quiet down. Playing football with Leroy will settle his nerves. Are you still all right, honey? Here we go again. Yes, Bronco. Say, it's swollen. Yeah, I was looking in the window to see if you were all right when Leroy threw a pass. Oh, my goodness. You haven't been moving things, have you, Marge? Yeah, she brought in my breakfast, Bronco. He wasn't heavy. Just one egg. I know I should have stayed in here. I'll never leave you again. Oh, don't be silly, darling. You've got to do something, Uncle Mord. Yes, well. Every time I think of what you're going through, I get weakened in these. Oh, Bronco. You pull yourself together, my boy. Becoming a father for the first time isn't such a harrowing experience. But gee, Liz, you'll get used to it after you've had nine or ten. Nine or ten? Unky, we won't have nine or ten. We only plan to have five or six. Marge, the plans have changed. I could never live through this again. You're that sadist. I'll have to take him to the Jolly Boys. The night at the Jolly Boys Club is just what Bronco needs. He'll be good for his nerves. Yeah, and Margery's too. Say nothing of mine. I'll drop in and mention it to Pee-Vee. Hello, Pee-Vee. Hello, hello, Mr. Jones. What can I do for you today? Well, I have a little problem, Pee-Vee. You don't say. You give me a cigar, and I'll tell you about it. Yeah, well. There you are. Yeah, thank you. Pee-Vee, you know Margery and Bronco are expecting the baby. Yes, the whole town is helping them expect it. Yes, well. What would you think about bringing him up to the Jolly Boys Club tonight? The baby? No, Pee. I mean Bronco. The baby isn't due until next month. Then you couldn't bring him up tonight anyway. Hardly, Pee-Vee. Of course, they do arrive early sometimes. Well, that's what has Bronco on edge, and that's why I have to get him out of the house. Well, doesn't Bronco want to be there for the big event? Of course, Pee-Vee. He's a very solicitous father. In fact, he's overdoing it. He's practically a nervous wreck. Well, Mr. Gildesley, I would be too if I were an expecting father. Yeah, I guess so. Hmm. Fine cigar, Pee-Vee. Hmm. Here comes Judge Hooker. Good morning, gentlemen. Well, hello, Judge. Oh, it's you, Gilde. I didn't recognize you behind the smoke. It's me, Judge. What a lovely long cigar. Are you playing the role of grandfather or just pretending that you're Mount Vesuvius? Yes. Courtroom, comedian. Mr. Gildesley was just saying he might bring a visitor to the club tonight. Oh? Yes, I thought I'd bring Bronco, Judge. Marjorie thinks he should get out of the house for a while. The boy needs recreation. Splendid idea, Gilde. I can understand how the boy would be overwrought. But soon all his tribulations will be forgotten in the joys of fatherhood. Yes, wonderful thing, fatherhood. But alas, none of us has ever been a father. No, but Mrs. Pee-Vee and I have always wanted to have a family. Oh? In fact, I set aside a box of cigars for just such an eventuality. That was 20 years ago. Too bad, Pee-Vee. You never got to use those cigars. Well, no, I wouldn't say that. How do you know you're not smoking one of them? The sleeve will be back in just a moment. Now you can make more delicious cheese sandwiches more easily than ever. Just get Kraft Deluxe Slices, perfect sandwich-sized slices of extra delicious pasteurized processed cheese. Kraft Deluxe Slices are wrapped 8-1.5 pound package and are delightfully different from any sliced cheese you've ever had before. They're different because Kraft Slices are made a completely new way. Instead of being cut from a loaf, these slices are actually formed by an exclusive new Kraft Invention, which captures every bit of the fine processed cheese flavor, more delicious flavor than you've ever enjoyed before in every single slice. And you could be sure Kraft Slices will reach you clean, sanitary, and in perfect condition because they're wrapped right in the spick-and-span Kraft plant. Every slice perfect. No slivers, broken pieces, or dried edges. And these slices of delicious processed cheese are sandwich-sized. So handy for easy cheese sandwiches you can fix in a jiffy. And of course, one of the nicest things about this extra good-tasting processed cheese is the convenience of the package. You can easily keep several varieties on hand all the time because these packages take up so little room in your refrigerator. Tomorrow, look in your grocer's dairy case for those perfect slices of unusually delicious processed cheese, Kraft Deluxe Slices. Well, let's get back to the great Gilderslee. Everybody agrees that Bronco, the expected father, should accompany the water commissioner to the Jolly Boys meeting this evening. That is, everybody agrees, except Bronco. But Mr. Gilderslee, I don't want to go. I want to stay here and keep an eye on Marge. No, Bronco, you can't sit here and keep an eye on her for a whole month. Oh, I said it once and I'll say it again. How do we know it's going to be a month? Well, the doctor said. True, Mr. Gilderslee, but my grandmother always said when a woman starts moving furniture around... We know the time is close at hand. Yes. So how do we know? How do we know? Well, you better get him out before he comes unglued. Leroy, I'll handle this. Okay, I'll go look for the glue. Bronco, when Uncle Mort invites you to his club, the least you can do is go. But, Marge... I told the Jolly Boys you're coming. They're looking forward to it. Here's your hat and have a good time. I refuse to have a good time. I don't want to offend anybody, but I refuse to go. You offer it. Mr. Bronco... What is it, Birdie? If Birdie can put in her two cents, I think you ought to go. You need to change. I appreciate your interest, Birdie, but it's my duty to stay close to Marge. Yes, sir. But look at it this way. There's a telephone at the Jolly Boys Club. Ain't it, Mr. Gilderslee? Oh, yes, of course, Birdie. That's nice, you see, Mr. Bronco? Then you as close to Miss Marge is the telephone. Well... That's right, Bronco. That's the way we get in touch with the doctor by telephone. I hadn't thought about the telephone. Thanks, Birdie. I'll go if it'll make everybody happy. I really think you should, Bronco. Well, let's settle it. Yes, sir. Birdie's two cents worth paid off. You bet. Birdie's two cents worth of asset telephone got him to go. That's right, Birdie. Mr. Bronco is sitting here not bludgeoning an agent. Birdie's two cents worth got him to go. True, Birdie. Miss Gilderslee, you know what got him to go? Yes, Birdie. Let's go! Hurry up, Bronco. Let's go. Hi, P.V. Oh, no, Mr. Gilderslee. Yeah, where's Bronco? Oh, he'll be up in a minute, Judge. He stopped on the street to phone Marjorie. We got a phone up here. Well, he couldn't wait. My, my. And you say the baby isn't expected for another month? That's right, P.V. Ned Boyle spends a lot of nickels between now and then. Well, take it from a barber. The kid's got a lot on his mind and it ain't just hair. Yeah, that's why I invited him up, fellas. Yes, our project for the evening gentlemen is to make our young friend Bronco forget his needless anxiety. And we'll work on him. I'll open up the coat. Good idea, P.V. Here he comes now. Sorry I'm late, men, but I have to phone my wife. Yeah, I explained that, Bronco. Now, settle down. Yes, sir. Hello, Mr. P.V., Judge. Yeah, hello, Bronco. Welcome to the club, Bronco. Thank you. Hello, Mr. Munson. Hi, kid, but drop the mister. I'm Floyd to my friends, customers, and prospective fathers. Floyd, don't bring up the subject. Huh? Oh, oh yeah. I propose that we welcome our young friend to the Jolly Boys Club with a rousing song. Yeah, you sing, don't you, Bronco? Not very well. Then you can sing lead. What's this, Judge? Gildy usually sings lead, but he doesn't sing well either. You old goat. Hey, where's Chief of Police Gates? He won't be here tonight. He has to tend jail. Well, then I'll sing the bass part. Oh, my goodness. Judge, you can't sing bass. You can't get below high C. Oh, yes, I can. Dotila so pa mi re do. That won't do, Judge. Dotila so pa mi re. Hey, the commission ain't a bad bass. You ask me, he's very bass. Yes, yes. Now, what do we sing? There is a devil in the town. No, no. Will you sing down by the old mill street? You sing what you want to sing, and I'll sing what I want. Oh, my God. That song has a nice solo line for Bronco. Yeah, say, where is Bronco? He's over in the corner phoning, I believe. Again? Bronco, we're waiting. Are you coming, Mr. Gildersleeve? Are you sure you're all right, Marge? Huh? Are you taking it easy? Well, that's good. Yeah. Well, goodbye, honey. What a devoted husband. She's all right, men. I just talked to her and she's all right. Well, of course she's all right. Sure, she's okay. Now, come on, kid, and join in the frivolity. Well, a man has to keep a check on things. Yeah. Well, here's your part, Bronco. It's the lead. Oh, I don't think I'd better sing the lead. We insist, Bronco. Well, all right. Let me go down the stream, grab an oar. I guess I was a little flat. We're here to have fun. That's the important thing. There must be some other way to have it. Pee-nuckle? Sure, anything to make you forget you're going to be a father. Lies. Excuse me, men. I think I better phone home again. All I said was we were... I told you to be quiet. So did I. You'll let Bronco make his call. You won't be happy until he knows Marge is all right. What's that, Marge? Where do I think the mirror should go? There she goes again. Marge, honey, you promised you wouldn't move. Just sit down, right where you are. I don't touch anything. I'll be right home. No, Bronco, wait a minute. Oh, tidying up the place, is she? Judge, my grandmother always said that can mean only one thing. The time is close at hand. Good night, men. And thanks. Seems a little excited. What's this about rearranging furniture, commission? I've heard of that. It's the mother instinct. Preparing the home for the little one. It's supposed to mean the arrival is imminent. Yeah? It's just an old wives tale, Floyd. Oh. Well, they can arrive early. I was a seven-months baby myself. Wait three and a half pounds. One of my feet weighs that much now. Well, shall we play, Pinochle? You may as well. Yeah, I'm sure everything's all right, at all. All right. Thanks, Earl. And don't you, Floyd? Oh, yeah, them doctors know their stuff. Right, Judge? I'm positive Bronco is unduly concerned. Oh, yeah. Seven months, sir, Floyd. Yeah. Come to think of it, it ain't uncommon. You? You fellas carry on. I think I'd better go home. Why, Gilder? Well, I want to see if Bronco got home all right. Didn't have to come home just because Bronco did. Well, I didn't get a very good Pinochle ham. How are you feeling, Marchie? Fine. I'd have had everything arranged the way I wanted it. I'd have had everything arranged the way I wanted it. All right. I'd have had everything arranged the way I wanted it if Bronco hadn't stopped me. No, my dear, the furniture has to be rearranged. Let Bronco do it. He's big and strong. I'm getting weaker. Here, Bronco, I'll help you with the chair. No, no, Marchie. I'll help. That's it. Over here. Thanks, Mr. Gilderslee. I hope the Jolly boys didn't think I was rude. No, of course not, Bronco. Hey, Pinochle, having a great time. Yeah, I'm right here, Bernie. Look at that B. Yeah, I don't know. Good evening, Gilder. Judge, I thought you were at the club. Well, I left Floyd and Peabee there. I thought my place was here since I'm so close to the family. Oh, yes. How's Marjorie? I'm fine, Judge. Oh, I didn't see you, Marjorie. My, you look radiant. Thank you. Oh, Bronco, I didn't want the coffee table there. Here, let me... No, no, no, Marjorie, we can do that. Yes, Marjorie, let us handle it. But, Anki, I... Judge, I'm afraid I broke up the meeting tonight. Not at all. Floyd and Peabee are holding the fort. Now what? Anki! All right, Bertie. Gentlemen. Hi, Bertie. Everything all right, Bertie? Yes, but the others are inside. Oh, my goodness. Hi, Peabee. Hi, everybody. Hi, Amarge. Hello, Mr. Munson, Mr. Peabee. Good evening, Marjorie. Peabee, I didn't expect you and Floyd to drop by. Yeah, I thought if there was much moving to be done, we'd inhale. Yeah. We want to do anything we can. That's why I came. Too bad the chief ain't here. We could use the police siren on the way to the hospital. Mr. Munson, that's ridiculous. It'll be weeks yet. You see, Marge, we've all got that feeling. How? How do you feel, Marjorie? Anki, with all this help here, I feel there's nothing for me to worry about. I think I'll go up to bed. Good night, everybody. Good night. Good night. I'll go up with you, Miss Marge. Oh, thank you, Bertie. Them men. All draped in over here to see how you're feeling. All right, they're cute. Yes, ma'am. They think their furniture moving means something, but not Bertie. She don't believe in them old tales. No, ma'am. Good night, Bertie. Good night, Miss Marge. Miss Marge? Yes, Bertie. If you get that furniture moving feeling again, don't you touch nothing. You call Bertie. Bertie, you're cute, too. Yes, ma'am. Good night, Bertie. Good night, Miss Marge. Bless our little girl. We'll be right back to please all the folks at your house. There are five delicious varieties of craft deluxe slices. So everyone can enjoy these perfect slices of extra-good-eating pasteurized processed cheese, whether it's wonderfully mellow craft American, craft American with scarlet pimentos added, delightful nut-sweet craft Swiss, rich with that deep-down rich taste, or sharp old English brand. You'll want to have several kinds on hand always because these perfect slices are so handy for cheese, snacks, and sandwiches you can fix easily and quick as a wink. Tomorrow, look in your grocer's dairy case for the five delicious varieties of craft deluxe slices. What time is it? Two o'clock. Can't get to sleep. Who? Who left the light on downstairs? Oh, what a family. Yeah. You are my slippers. Oh, yeah. You hope I can last till this baby gets here. Family's falling to pieces. The light's burning all ours the night. Who's downstairs? Marjorie? Verity? Yeah. Nobody there. I'll have to go down and turn it off. I... Oop. He's Bronco. Fell asleep in a chair. What's this? Suitcase on one side. Telephone on the other. You wonder what he was thinking about. Bronco? Bronco? What? Oh, I don't like it. Let's go! Wait! Bronco, wait! Where's the suitcase? I'm gonna be your father. I'll take Marge. You follow me in your car. Bronco, stop running around the room. Open your eyes. Where's Marge? She's in bed. She's asleep. Everything is all right. Are you sure? Yes, my boy. You now go to bed. And relax. All right. Good night, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. I'm going to the basement. Whoa! Upstairs is this way. Yes. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. It makes a long day. Good night, folks. For the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the great Gilder-Sleeve. Here's his secret for making dull meals interesting. Add Kraft prepared mustard to any meat dish, hot or cold, and see the difference. Hidden flavors pop right out, because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard, you know. Kraft salad mustard, delicately spiced for those who prefer a milder flavor, and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both on hand, for remember, with any meat dish, when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Get Kraft prepared mustard. Don't miss the Falcon next Sunday over this station. Check your newspaper for time of broadcast, and hear the Falcon solve the case of the substitute target. The preceding was transcribed. Read about Groucho Marx and...