 In the previous video called self-help men, what does it really mean to be a man? I've talked about how society has pushed a man to believe that he has to play a certain role of a man rather than to simply be himself, how a man has to possess inhumane qualities such as no motion or strive to appear always strong, in this way trying to live up to an impossible standard, eventually deeply suffering because of it. As a continuation of this topic, I'll share some life hacks how to deal with everyday situations where we are pushed to act in some manly ways which are not always so healthy for us and how to counter these situations when others are trying to push us to be a part of the herd. Well these tips actually apply both to men and women because both genders suffer from others trying to box us in telling how a man or a woman should act but since in this video I'm primarily addressing men, I'll use various men-related situations as examples. Also if you want to see the previous video before you start with this one, if you're on Facebook just check the link, click the link on the description, if you're on YouTube just check this eye button right here at the top of the corner, press it and it's gonna lead you to the first video. Lastly before I start I want to say again thank you to Anna Arcana, a wonderful YouTube self-help video creator who inspired me to do this video series and now without further ado let us move on to the subject. Did anyone ever tell you you throw the ball like a girl or for example you run like a girl? Has anyone ever tried to insult you or made fun of you by saying that you're not manly enough? What's such a big deal and problem with doing something like girl? Girls are great yet of course I understand what the insult means and what it tries to do. First of all it implies that there's a certain manly way to do things and if you do not do it in the expected way society tries to convince you that there's something wrong with you. Thus being insulted in comparison to women we start to become overly conscious of how we act and try to forcefully act as a man should. Now I'm not saying that a man should intentionally act as women unless he chooses to but I want to question whether a man should act in a specific way or a pre-ordered way like quote-unquote other men do. Is it really so bad to act differently than others to begin with? Some of the most important people in this world's history has acted differently. One of the most creative influential minds were quite different than regular people. So if to say anything about acting differently if it occurs naturally that should be actually seen as a positive thing. Yet of course in our world in our society the pressure from others to act in a certain way stays and it can become increasingly difficult to act the way you're naturally drawn to act because of that high and regular pressure. Yet there is a simple life hack that can incredibly help you with these situations. This life hack I've successfully used in hundreds of different situations myself and it's all based on a couple of simple qualities curiosity and positive questioning. In order to explain to you how this life hack works let's come back to the previous example of someone telling you you throw the ball like a girl. Normally we become upset embarrassed or even angry when someone tells us that. But mostly that happens because part of us believes that is true and that we should act in a different pre-ordained way. But in order to avoid this unnecessary and unfair feeling as soon as this emotion comes up you make yourself stop and redirect your energy towards a different feeling. You turn it into curiosity. Then with all sincerity you turn to the person that said that to you and ask can you explain to me why that is an issue? In most cases you will be surprised by the look on the person's face. He will suddenly become confused because initially he didn't know himself why that is an issue and you bring their attention to it. You see most of our actions are inherited and copied from others and most of them we do not question acting them out for various social reasons such as trying to establish a dominant position in a male world trying to be an alpha dog by doing what other alpha dogs do that we've seen from generation to generation without really understanding why we do it to begin with. Yet whenever you turn on curiosity not only you question that internally this way making space for doubt to arise before becoming hurt yet you also confuse the other person and make them think. Now I mentioned that to do this will be enough in most cases yet some people will be still stubborn and continue to insist that there is an issue. For us that is not an issue as long as we continue to be sincerely curious. I'll give you an example you throw the ball at a girl. Really? Why is that an issue? Well because because girls are weak and that makes you a sissy. Are you sure girls are weak? And what does a sissy literally mean? Could you define it for me? I really want to know why you consider that. Whatever they say later one of the best ways I've found to end such a conversation is by saying something along the lines of you know your arguments don't really seem so strong. I'll consider it but until I get a clear well-defined argument I can't take this critique seriously. End of conversation. Do you see where I'm heading? And trust me it really works. As mentioned before not only it confuses other people but you also start to change their perspective about this matter too. And it applies not only to aggressive attacks. That's how you get emotional and you start crying while watching a movie and somebody makes fun of you because of that. You turn to them you turn on your curiosity and ask why is that a problem? Can you prove in a scientific way that it's bad for men to cry? Well let's say you dress in a specific way that brings others to say you're not wearing manly clothes or you're not wearing normal clothes. It's the same thing. Why is it inappropriate for a man to dress this way? Does it somehow hurt others? Am I really causing some damage by wearing these clothes? Because if I do then yeah please let me know. Now one last advice I will tell you before I let you start to practice this life hack is that you do have to really be sincere about your questioning. Otherwise it will not work either internally which would normally change your perspective and attitude towards this question. Well that will lead to question your own questions and to another person without being sincere in your questioning you can simply just come across as an ass which is not really what we want. But as long as you allow yourself to positively question this questioning can become healthy not only to you but also to other people. There are many other life hacks for men that I could share but this one is one of the most effective ones which I applied many times and it worked really well. To see a potential this life hack make sure to share this video with your friends. If you're watching this video on Facebook click on the description on the link to go to my youtube channel and subscribe and until the next video I'll leave you with this life hack to try it on your own and I'll see you in the next video. Hopefully a way in a better world that we created together.