 What's up, it's Kinsey. Welcome back to my channel. If you guys are new here, I would love for you to stick around I'm 23 turning 24 on Sunday August 1st. It might have already happened. I don't know when this video goes up In today's video I'm gonna be doing a bit of a little chick-chock get ready with me slash talking about my 23rd year and how your 20s are Very confusing. I don't know why I'm almost like passionate about this topic I think I just had this epiphany of like oh, I actually know nothing and life is very uncertain and I am just Uncertain about a lot of things. So anyways, we're gonna be talking about what I've learned in my 23rd year I also have a podcast where I do episodes about what I've been learning I'm gonna have friends on do we belong stuff and those are always gonna hit I'm not doing one this year instead. I'm gonna be talking with you guys in this video So I hope you guys enjoyed this top by the way skims. It is my favorite bodysuit ever It's like the most flattering the most comfortable suit. It's so good and if you spill drinks on it It dries very quickly. So if you're someone like me, it's very good for you And my cold brew my glass straw what I learned in my 23rd year is that I love glass straws Emily Zizanotto told me to buy them I did all the credit goes to her but like they really truly changed my life. I'll have those linked down below as well I did write down some notes. I'm not using too many new products So I will like share what I'm using but like it's not crazy different. Also. What is my hair? I have to clean my filter on my Dyson air up and so my hair is just like not been looking as like I've also been back To doing my early morning heated workout if you guys do that new workout every day Like what do you do about your hair because it's one of those workouts We're like you sweat so about like you actually just wash it every day It's really bad for you But like I don't see another option because like I don't have a choice over in my closet room I'm sorry about the door it actually gets delivered today And then we're gonna film like a real closet reveal and show you guys stuff and it's gonna be exciting I don't have a mirror this is actually a new product that I've been using the rare beauty primer and this is the poor diffusing primer I actually thought I was getting this in a setting spray and it was a primer, but you know, it's fine We're gonna make do anyways I was thinking about this the other day that my life on my 23rd birthday to my 24th birthday Could it be more different? I mean, it's actually crazy how I saw my birthday last year and who I saw my birthday with anyway Even what is last year? I guess like the version of myself that I was last year versus this year night and day difference I will say obviously with during a pandemic a blah blah blah whatever It's not really about like what I actually did on my birthday. It's just more about like where I'm at like mentally Emotionally who I'm around things like that. I will say I am a lot happier now But 23 especially the first like four months of my 23 year were so hard Like it was some of my least ever times ever honestly Within this fan of like a month pretty much every single thing that could go wrong in my life went wrong But there's so much that I never talked about online because it just wasn't my thing to share regarding like other people in my life I went through a breakup, which was honestly a great thing, but obviously breakups are hard I'm using the rare beauty foundation as well by the way I love this stuff. It's really good. Um less is more as well And I probably just put on too much also for some reason I put self-tanner on this morning You know my face is kind of tingling from that primer that doesn't normally happen. So I don't know what's going on I'm using this as my mirror. I'm really sorry everyone. I'm not a professional anyways Between myself my family in like all of my closest people in my life to me They were just really like catastrophic really bad things happening My sister got a really bad car accident I share that because she posted about it on her tiktok and I don't know there's just so much Going on and it was a very hard time and I remember I just kept thinking with six months from now Life will be completely different six months from now life will be completely different like that will be a really good thing I think I'll go think she's a cat like it's very odd there. She is okay And I kept thinking six months from now life will be completely different things will be better And I was really focused on like healing and actually dealing with everything that was going on so that I can like get better And it went home back later. I really like efficiency, you know, so Um, I was really trying to like, you know deal with it I went back to therapy a few months before I even turned 23 That was a really really really really good thing for me The first few months are really hard Dom was here and we were really just honestly going through it together Which was like such a great thing because you know it was pandemic I wasn't really leaving my hostel like blah blah blah whatever it was hard But then I remember coming February honestly when I'm honestly probably getting the dates mixed up But that also happened to be around the six month mark the Dom and I were like our lives are gonna get better in six months I remember we were at dinner. There's just one night. That was like so random But ended up being like the best thing I ever did for myself We were at dinner with my sister and my sister's like, okay Just like come see us for like one second We're gonna like meet up with friends and like one of my like childhood closest friends was there So they're like, okay, I'll stop by and like say hi to him and then we just ended up hanging out with people And basically I haven't stopped being with my friends since and that was the best thing I ever did for myself And like that was something I thought just like wasn't gonna be a big part of my life anymore And I am so Unbelievably grateful that I like went back to that social life those friends things like that because it was just Literally about saying I could have done for myself now. We're gonna go on with the milk makeup bronzer stick I love this. I got it because it's all it's ill-buried Broader stick thing is always sold out everywhere. I go if anyone knows where I could find it Please let me know I'm someone who can be kind of hard-headed with like Oh, this is not what I think is gonna happen. I'm like, but this isn't how it's gonna happen Or like I won't meet someone there and blah blah blah whatever. I always kind of brush this up This is the forest 64 brush. I legit use for everything. That's probably not what you're supposed to do but I love it and I Think that I really let go of how I thought my life was gonna go and what I thought I needed and what I thought was gonna Make me happy and what I thought was gonna fulfill me and was a lot more open to other things And I am now so much happier than I was then and I think that's a really good lesson because I think I'm really open-minded Just like actually as a human being but when it comes to like things that I want for my life I feel like I just had this like vision that I thought this is the only way This is the only thing that I wanted and like it's just simply isn't you know It's such an interesting concept to why do we think we know what's gonna like make us happy in the sense of what's gonna Make us happier because if you think about that it's something that you actually haven't had before So so often you think like oh if I just make X amount of money or if I just in a relationship Or if I just am in this career path or get this job or promotion I'll be happier But it's so weird that we think that because how do we think we know that because we actually haven't been in that position Yeah, it's not weird. I don't know. So I think in my 23rd year I really opened up my mind to letting life happen in a way that I didn't expect And I'm very glad because it's only led me to better things better friendships granted Most of my friendships are not necessarily newer some of them are some of them are new people But I think I've strengthened other friendships and I've also more so just been I don't know I just think that I'm in a better place than I was a lot of that having to do with the people that I'm around and that Happened when I like made myself get out of my bubble and like actually invested and tried to like, you know Make friends and be social again, but also even deeper more than that Allowing life to go in a different way in a different path that ended up being better for me I think my most used word in my 23rd year Especially was uncertainty and I had this weird like I guess almost a revelation by the way I'm using the tower 28 blush. I love it so much. I broke it. I have this like weird revelation of oh, like maybe I don't Know anything and I actually have no idea what I wanted so before when I was like really Like set on how my life is gonna go. I think I had this idea of like, oh, yeah This is how it's gonna work. This is what's gonna happen And so when I realized like oh, maybe that actually isn't what I wanted I feel like I have this almost like identity freak out because I was like wait I don't know what my life's gonna be like blah blah blah whatever And obviously like I know and the grand scheme of things and like with faith and blah blah That's not my identity is that but I'm just saying like I felt like I lost my footing because So much was changing around me like so much changes past year anyways So then I was like oh my gosh your 20s are so uncertain and you know conveniently enough like I hate uncertainty It's like why I hate dating. It's why I like I just don't like uncertainty I think most of us don't I'm using the co says brow Gel honestly, I really prefer clear brow gel. I've realized but this is what I purchased at the store I like the actual gel. I wish I just got it in the clear job. So there's a lot of uncertainty I feel like there was a lot of things that I needed to unlearn which is just like common in life And I also think you know, sometimes it's even more important to know what you don't want to be then even like who you want To be sometimes that's just like a little bit of a stronger emotion So it's a little bit more telling but there was a lot of things that I had to unlearn whether it was you know what I thought I wanted for my life or Things that have been taught to me in certain organizations and you know, whatever that might be I really went through a period where I was like almost like deconstructing to reconstruct which is like Whatever and I feel like I actually have found my footing again. I feel so much more I think I feel more myself than I've ever felt in my life. I'm not as hard on myself I'm not like expecting this like perfection or whatever it is and I don't think I ever really was looking for perfection But I think I was just really hard on myself Which is another topic like I feel like I'm really hard on myself But I am so easy on people like when other people are in my life and they do something that's kind of like I don't know like I always am like well like from their perspective Maybe like this is why or whatever to the point where like it's I probably should be a little more critical of other people But it's interesting because I would not describe myself as critical of other people at all But I can be very hard on myself So it was a weird thing of like I'm not this way when it comes to other people It takes a lot for me to finally be like okay I'm like even gonna distance myself So it was interesting that like I could offer so much grace to other people But I couldn't really do that with myself and that's something that I'm really working on even currently And I think even just putting myself on the internet and like you know Documenting things like this or sharing thoughts or sharing ideas and sharing my life and whatever I feel like I'm held to that almost because I put on the internet and a lot of this is self-induced It's not even people like saying things to me But I feel like because so much of myself has been on the internet at the same time I do struggle with you know wanting to change my mind or change my opinions or you know be different I'm growing honestly It's not even changing necessarily as much as it is like I'm just growing into like the new version of myself I'm kind of almost trying to hold myself back to what I said six months ago and like six months ago I had six months less life experience especially in your 20s. You're changing and evolving so much So I'm just been trying to give myself like more grace as well. Oh break up. So another thing in 23. They're good for you I know they suck really really bad and I'm saying that as like, you know, I'm going to bed with peace on my pillow I wake up with peace on my pillow. I'm not thinking about someone like I'm so Not in that. Okay our glass bronzer. Here we go. I mean this is risky to do with no camera I'm a little bit worried about myself today break up sock And I honestly would like to avoid them at all costs, but I do think it's great Also, another thing is like I think I completely changed what I even want in a partner in the past year And not that I even really really know what I want, but I definitely know what I don't want There are qualities that I have realized in the past probably like six months even that are actually really good for me So if you're going through a break up and you're like really sad right now Just like picture yourself a year from now You will feel so much better. You will care so much more honest More less you will care less And hopefully you're just in a better spot. I have an entire I get break your questions a lot I have an entire podcast episode with a break at coach is actually really helpful heartbreak is The worst thing ever it is like literally the worst feeling even when you want to break up It's really hard because it's like, you know, that's your day-to-day life. Is that our glass dimlet powder? I've been using this probably since I was like 20 or 21, but you will come out of it so much better I actually just posted a podcast episode with just a Hastings who I literally love so much And we talked a lot about your 20 is because she's someone who's like advice I really value when I listen to everything she has to say and it was really great And we talked a lot about heartbreak in there as well You will come out on the other side Having grown so much from it if you really like you know kind of lean into the pain and go through it No longer even wanting what you thought you wanted most likely. It's also been a year Brush blush not brush It's also been a year of me kind of like stripping myself of black and white thinking again Like I was saying before when I was really hard on myself and critical It's like black and white thinking, but I don't think life is black and white I don't think about others in black and white everything's in the gray So if I wasn't like really honestly overdoing it in a certain area of my life I thought that wasn't like enough and I wasn't serious enough about it and whatever But I would never think that I'm someone else. So that's been another thing I've really worked on in regards to you know, just letting go I think it's honestly really just been a lot of you a year of stripping myself of a lot of things and like I'm learning This is I like sound stupid as I'm talking, but like don't worry about it guys I'm just kind of on one today. Essentially. I'm ending this year in a much much much better place Then I started it even in regards to who I am I you know, I love myself them, but I love myself now. I'm really proud of who I've become I'm really proud of you know, what I've gotten through what I've learned what I've done Like I feel like I've really found my footing For coffee and I've learned to shift my perspective on you know, uncertainty in general Instead of being really like scared of it I think I'm on to mascara better than sex mascara instead of being really afraid of it I know it kind of excites me like I still don't love it but I think my relationship with uncertainty in life has gotten a lot better and also I Just think overall like what I've learned is it is okay to change your mind It is okay to change what you want and that's something that I've said forever But I think this year specifically when I have changed pretty much almost everything that I want in life This year specifically has been the year of Uncertainty in the year of changing my mind And that can be a really really scary thing to do especially when like people are Constantly telling you like what you need to want what you need to do what you need to act like who you need to be I think it's really important to sometimes just get silent with yourself and Really kind of come into your own and honestly It wasn't this crazy big shift where I'm like this totally different person Like I feel like I'm the most me that I've been and I've you know I've obviously always been me but I just feel like I have my footing I feel more confident in like my decisions My decisions if those decisions don't necessarily line up with someone else's and what they would do for my life I feel like I know myself better than anyone and I am really intentional with that It's like I feel like I know myself more than anyone and while I will make mistakes And I'm not always gonna make the right decisions. That's also okay. And that's part of life I feel like I keep repeating myself, but so many My thoughts honestly just kind of like go together. I wrote this in my note. It's okay to change your mind It's okay to re-evaluate the relationship you have with things and change them It's okay to unlearn things you can take a step back. You don't have to know everything Which is hard. This is my favorite lip product. It is the hourglass. I think it's a velvet story I believe that's the line of I want to say that's the line of the story. It's in the shade hint. I love love love this lip color I also love the actual like application. I love everything about this. Okay, honestly I'm like almost kind of getting emotional, but I'm not don't worry But I kind of feel like this is almost like the happy ending to what was at times One of the hardest years and then ended up being one of the best years I think the past six months have been So good with so many people that I love I love being back in Texas I love being home with people I've known forever like I just love it here And I love my life and I'm so grateful for literally everything in my life like whether it's you know my career Or like you guys specifically the people that I work with the people that I've met on the internet My friends my family like my personal life even like day-to-day things that I get to do here Like I love just my routine and I wish that Kenzie this time last year could see Kenzie this time this year Cuz one I think she'd be really proud and two I think it would just be encouraging Because that was just not a good time so if you guys are watching this video and You are in a bad place. Just do like this six month rule say six months from now My life is gonna be totally different and so much better Make progress and take the steps that you need to in the in-between and then update me on everything I want to hear from you guys. I hope this video was like encouraging. I know what's rambling I know I have this like ballet girl accent. I don't know where it came from. I grew up in Texas I know I don't always like articulate things the best and a lot of what I said, you know was repetitive I did just like want to take a second and just kind of catch up with you guys and talk about the last year because It has really been something. Oh, I should take these off, but I love you guys so much Thank you for always being around for the journey I have been vlogging and filming my life since I was 16 years old one of my first videos on YouTube Was my 16th birthday vlog, which is so crazy and who would have thought that I would be one back in Dallas And to honestly every single thing about my life would have surprised me, I think but I hope you guys enjoyed this video Comment below when your birthday is I'm curious. My birthday is August 1st I'm a Leo. I hope you guys enjoyed today's video and I'll talk to you soon. Bye Do you have like any the aura ring or anything? I actually am getting it next week. That's so okay I am considering ordering it. I was thinking about it today. I'm like, do I just buy it now? My mom is obsessed with it and checks every day. So I'm getting it next week funny said that