 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan Asley of Jonathan asley.com And I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic give men this They're not mind readers for gosh sakes. We men aren't mind readers. Okay Really quickly if this content resonates with you and you've been interested in hiring coach, but you go gosh I can't afford it check out my link to my VIP group called midlife love mastery It's for $20 a month You can have direct access to me where you can ask questions and I shoot videos based on the questions you ask Check out the link to my VIP group called midlife love mastery. All right. You have to do this because we men aren't mind readers So, you know first off really quickly if this is your first time watching one of my videos I highly recommend you check out several other videos in almost every video I Introduce a book or two or three or four that I recommend you reading now The reason being is that I've come to realize that for folks in their midlife those people in their 40s 50s or 60s That's the predominant demographic that I talked to most men are effing clueless when it comes to the mechanics of a healthy Happy relationship and quite frankly. I want to say women are as equally clueless when it comes to the mechanics I mean we all love the idea of the movies where they're chivalrous and there's Attraction and then we're just going to live happily ever after but in midlife in your 20s and 30s That's great for all those movies because most of the time you're going to be raising a family. You have a common Priority between the two of you Let me repeat that you have a common priority So most people invest in raising a family in their 20s and 30s What happens in your 40s and 50s and 60s you come to the plate with a lot of luggage They used to call it baggage. I call it luggage or stuff And then they're trying to figure out how to make this thing work and because they don't understand them Understand the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship, but I was about to say getting ahead of myself men don't This is why I tell women all the time you are the emotional leaders of the relationship You are the emotional reader leaders of the relationship. In fact, you are in charge of your relationship destiny This is what I say in a lot of my other videos So what I'm going to share with you is what a one of your one of the my YouTube followers recently wrote and What's interesting that this isn't the first time I've heard this I've been hearing this over and over and over again, and I want to read this to you So let me put my glasses on and this follower says this. This is critically important for understanding Understanding men because we're not mind readers and what she wrote. Hi, Jonathan I met this great man online and we went out on a cup. We went out a couple times I mentioned to him to him about your work and suggested that we read eight dates together He agreed we both purchased the book and started reading last night each at our own time But agreed to read together one chapter a night I have to say I am so excited with my hands up in the air Jonathan style Lol because even if this goes nowhere meaning the relationship at least there's hope I've been heavily following your advice lately and making a conscious effort to search for that 10% relationship ready man, and it's so refreshing to know that it takes time But there's still some of you left out there. Thank you for all you do now in a second I want to share why this is so critically important I've been getting message after message after message of women reaching out to me for those they're in relationship Saying that they've introduced the book eight dates by dr. John and Julie Gottman eight dates This is the mechanics to a healthy happy relationship And the idea is that you both do it together you read a chapter and then do the work the assignments together Now here's the thing you guys can all cavalier Lee go he's gonna be chivalrous He knows what he's doing because he's come on strong But aren't you tired of the guys who pull away and lean back and need space? Because they don't know what to do So you have to do this because men aren't mind readers you have to set the example you have to set your standards God, I'm yelling okay. You have to set the example you have to set your standards You've got to tell men what the effing to do and by the way if you're gonna allow the penis into the vagina And I know that sounds kind of crude But let's get real if you're gonna have regular sex together then set the standards up set your set your Set the pace of where the relationship is by reading these books ahead of time Before you get too attached and too deeply invested in someone and you should definitely be reading the book nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg this teaches you how to have healthy communication because the reality is as most human beings are Terrible at communicating with one another there. I go yelling again All right come back to my loving come back to my loving. I'm trying to be as loving as I can In fact speaking of loving I'm gonna pitch my book. What the heck is self-love anyway by Jonathan Hasley the link below by the way, there's a link to Schedule a free discovery call with me. There's a link to the VIP group. There's a link to my book There's a link to my podcast. There's a link to all my recommended books. It's all in the description Check out every single link. All right. I get excited because I want to shift your perspective I want to shift your experience. I want to help you shift because here's the bottom line Most men are good guys Look at most men are good guys. My dad, you know, my mom and dad married 66 years But he was clueless my mom you asked my brother my sister and I she was in charge of the relationship and not from a masculine Controlling perspective and not from feminine leaning back She was just she just set her standards and my dad followed instructions because we're not mind readers Okay, so when you give guys instructions, here's the good news The wrong guys, he's gonna run away. He's gonna run away and the right guy He's gonna lean in now I know you would all like to find that 10% or a guy like a guy like myself Who's already crystal clear on who he is and what he wants, but there's good news Is there's about 40% of other men in the in this 50% bracket. There's 40 50% our relationship ready and Capable the other 50% there there they've got issues and you've got it And if you need help figuring out which ones have issues schedule a call with me. That's my area of expertise Okay. All right So I know you'd all like that 10% or it sounds great all those married couples who are giving advice on you know Giving advice on YouTube. They're all coming from that 10% or I'm here to help you with that 40% or that guy that's got potential He just needs you to guide him a little bit. He'll be the right guy for you I promise or at least I'll endeavor to is that an endeavor? I can't promise you but I promise you you're gonna have a better experience and just like she said if it doesn't work out That's okay because she tried a different way and that's my invitation for you. All right I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic job the bear himself love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pet or a pillow or a teddy bear and give it a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks so much. Bye. Bye now